Finding Stevie: Part 2 of 3

‘Yes, sometimes,’ I said.

‘And the make-up in the drawer?’

‘Yes, but not for school. He’s in his school uniform.’ I felt Stevie’s privacy was being invaded, but then again, if he hadn’t gone missing the police wouldn’t be here rummaging through his private belongings. Until now I hadn’t mentioned gender, as it hadn’t seemed necessary, but as they examined his clothes and checked the pockets I thought I should say something. Lucy got in first.

‘Stevie is gender-fluid,’ she said proudly. ‘That means he doesn’t have a fixed gender and likes to dress femininely sometimes. I’ve helped him with his make-up.’

‘He’s gay?’ the lead officer asked me.

‘No, he’s undecided,’ I said. ‘Although he did go to an LGBT nightclub before he came to live with us.’

‘At fourteen?’

‘Yes.’

He tutted. ‘Do you know which one?’

‘No, sorry. I don’t.’

They checked down the side of his wardrobe, looked in a carrier bag hanging on the back of the door and the pockets of his dressing gown, then, with a final glance around, the second officer said, ‘There’s nothing in here.’

We all came out and I showed them round the landing to our bedrooms. When we came to Paula’s room I knocked on her door and stuck my head round. She was propped up on her bed, reading. ‘The police need to have a look in here,’ I said. She got off her bed and stood beside it, clearly embarrassed, as both officers came in and looked around. Although it was necessary, it was an imposition. They thanked her on their way out and I showed them my bedroom and finally the bathroom.

‘There’s nowhere he can hide in there,’ Lucy said pointedly.

The junior officer smiled at her. ‘You can never be sure.’

Downstairs again, we stood in the hall as the officers prepared to leave. They confirmed that Stevie’s details had already been circulated, and we should contact them if he got in touch or returned home, which they felt sure he would do before long. They said they would visit his grandparents; I didn’t tell them what Peggy had said about not going there until morning. It seemed rude and I doubted that waking Kiri and Liam would be a factor in timetabling their visit, with their busy work schedule.

It was after 10.30 by the time the officers had left. Sammy came out from his hiding place behind the sofa and curled up in his basket, and by eleven o’clock we were all upstairs getting ready for bed. I left my mobile phone switched on and within reach on my bedside cabinet in case Stevie phoned, then lay in the dark running through the day’s events and wondering where on earth he could be. Suddenly I was startled by the landline ringing. I quickly grabbed the handset. ‘Cathy?’ It was Peggy wanting to know what had happened when the police had visited. I told her, said I’d phone her when there was any news and wound up the conversation. I think she would have liked to talk for longer, but it was nearly midnight and I was shattered.

I lay in the dark again with my thoughts buzzing like trapped flies, and tried to imagine where Stevie might be. My bedside clock clicked away the time: 12.30, 1.07, 1.43. Then I must have dropped off, for suddenly I was awake again, and aware my mobile was ringing.

‘Yes?’ I said immediately, answering it.

‘Is that Cathy Glass, Stevie’s foster carer?’ a male voice asked.

‘Yes.’ My heart began thumping wildly as I sat bolt upright and switched on the bedside lamp.

‘It’s one of the officers who visited you earlier. We’ve found Stevie. He’s in the car with us.’

‘Thank goodness.’ I breathed a huge sigh of relief. ‘Is he all right?’

‘Just a bit cold. But there is a problem.’ My stomach churned.

‘What?’

‘He doesn’t want to come back to you.’

‘Why not?’

‘He’s not saying. He just says he can’t.’

‘I don’t understand. Can I speak to him?’

‘No, he doesn’t want to talk to you.’

Not only was I hurt, but it seemed to reflect badly on me as a foster carer that Stevie didn’t want to come home or even talk to me.

‘Has he given you any idea why he ran away?’ I asked.

‘No. We’re going to contact the social services now. They’ll have to find him a bed for the night.’

‘What about his grandparents? Can’t he stay there for tonight?’

‘He says he doesn’t want to go there either.’

‘You’ve spoken to them?’

‘Yes. They know he’s safe.’

‘Where did you find Stevie?’ I asked.

‘At the bus terminus.’

‘Was he going to catch a bus?’

‘No, it was just somewhere to shelter. But the heating goes off in the waiting room at midnight when the last bus leaves, so it was cold. I need to phone the social services now, but at least you know he’s safe,’ the officer said.

‘Yes, thank you. Please tell Stevie I would like him to come home. He’s not in any trouble.’

‘Will do.’

I dropped my phone beside me on the bed and leant back on the headboard with a very heavy heart. I’d failed Stevie. What had started off so positively, with him quickly settling in, being able to work with his grandparents and the likelihood of him staying with us for at least three years, was ending in failure, and for reasons I didn’t know. I wasn’t being dramatic: a young person running away and then refusing to return to their foster carer was a failure; it couldn’t be looked upon any other way. I was the adult, Stevie was the minor, so it was my responsibility to make it work. That Stevie had refused to go to his grandparents didn’t lessen my feelings of failure; indeed, I had even more concerns now. Stevie would be placed with an emergency foster carer for the night and then be moved to a more suitable placement within the next couple of days. That would mean he would have had four homes and three foster carers in the last three months. And there was no guarantee he would settle with the next carers, resulting in yet another move. I thought I’d established a bond with Stevie, as had Paula, Lucy and Adrian, so why didn’t he feel he could come home? I was upset and bitterly disappointed, as I knew my children would be. It was one of the worst endings imaginable for a foster family.

With my thoughts in turmoil, I wondered if I should telephone Peggy but decided against it. It was 2.30 a.m. She’d been told Stevie was safe and would have probably gone back to sleep now. I needed to try to get some sleep too so that I was in a better frame of mind to deal with whatever tomorrow brought. I’d phone Peggy in the morning. However, fifteen minutes later, when I was still wide awake, torturing myself with what more I could have done to help Stevie, the landline rang. It was Peggy. ‘Well, at least he’s been found safe,’ she said. ‘Strange that he doesn’t want to return to you, though. That makes two of us.’ I heard the self-exoneration in her voice, because I had failed as she had done.

‘Yes,’ I said wearily.

‘What about all his belongings at your place? How will he get them?’ she asked.

‘His social worker will make arrangements to collect them. Don’t worry, he’ll get them.’

‘You’ll take them?’ she asked. I really didn’t need this conversation now.

‘I don’t know yet,’ I said.

‘Fred said that the social worker will have to get it sorted.’

‘Yes, she will.’ Peggy seemed to see me as a kindred spirit, a confidante, and I think she would have talked all night. ‘Peggy, I’ll phone you tomorrow when I know more, OK?’ I wound up the conversation and replaced the handset.

I lay on my back, staring at the bedroom ceiling. The shade of my bedside lamp was casting a round shadow on the ceiling, infilled with irregular patterns that seemed to resemble a map of the world. A big lonely world if you didn’t have anyone, I thought. Why was Stevie cutting himself off from the only homes he knew – mine and his grandparents’? What had been going through his mind as he’d sat alone in that cold and draughty waiting room at the bus terminus, and then in the back of the police car, telling them he didn’t want to return to me or his grandparents? I thought I’d understood Stevie and what he needed, but apparently I’d got it just as wrong as his grandparents, only in a different way. It’s at times like this that foster carers doubt themselves and wonder if it’s time to quit.

Gazing up at the ceiling, my eyes gradually grew heavy and finally closed. I was woken again by my mobile ringing. The lamp was still on and my clock showed 3.21 a.m.

‘Yes?’ I asked groggily, answering.

‘Cathy Glass?’

‘Speaking.’

‘It’s the duty social worker. We spoke earlier.’

‘Yes.’

‘The police have been in touch, but we’ve nowhere suitable to place Stevie, so he’s agreed to come back to you for tonight rather than be placed out of the area. He’s at — police station. Can you collect him from there?’

‘Now?’ I asked, struggling upright in the bed and trying to clear my thoughts.

‘Yes, as soon as possible.’

‘I’ll have to get dressed first.’

I’ll tell them you’re on your way. How long do you think you’ll be?’

‘Half an hour.’

‘I’ll let them know, and please don’t tell Stevie off. Wait until his social worker sees him to discuss his absence.’

‘Of course, I’m an experienced foster carer,’ I retorted. I was tired, stressed and now expected to get out of bed on a cold night to collect a teenager who thought staying with me for a night was the lesser of two evils. I didn’t need the duty social worker telling me how to behave. ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ I confirmed.

He didn’t even say thank you.

But once out of bed and on the move, my ill-humour evaporated, the adrenaline kicked in and I became more positive. That Stevie had agreed to come back to me even for one night gave me some hope. Tomorrow we would talk and try to get to the bottom of what had been worrying him so much to make him run away, and what I could do to help.

I threw on my clothes, splashed cold water on my face, and was about to leave a note for Adrian, Lucy and Paula to say where I was in case they woke to find me gone when Adrian’s bedroom door opened. ‘I heard you on the phone,’ he said, coming round the landing. ‘Have they found Stevie?’

‘Yes, I’ve got to collect him from the police station.’

‘I’ll come with you.’

‘No, you have work tomorrow.’

‘I’m coming, Mum. I won’t sleep,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll get dressed and de-ice the car.’

‘Thanks, love. I’ll leave a note for Lucy and Paula.’

I took a sheet of writing paper from a drawer downstairs and wrote in black marker pen: Adrian and Mum have gone to collect Stevie xx. I propped it on the landing where the girls would see it if they came out of their rooms. They were sure to text or phone if they did.

Adrian appeared from his room, having thrown on jeans and a jumper, and was smoothing his hair flat. Downstairs we put on our coats and braced ourselves for the cold night air. We made as little noise as possible as we scraped the frost from the windows of the car, trying not to disturb the neighbours. Once the windscreen was clear, I started the engine and drove quietly from the house. The police station where Stevie had been taken was about a ten-minute drive away. The roads were virtually empty and as I drove I told Adrian where Stevie had been found and that to begin with he hadn’t wanted to return to us, but the only other option had been to go to a carer out of the county.

‘So what have we done wrong?’ Adrian asked in a deadpan voice.

‘No idea, love. But I’m sure it will come out in time.’ When a placement ends abruptly like this was going to, there is usually a placement disruption meeting to try to see if any lessons can be learnt. Sometimes carers feel it’s a witch-hunt, with the carer being targeted.

‘Perhaps it’s not us,’ Adrian said presently. ‘Perhaps Stevie’s got a guilty conscience, like he had before with those photographs.’ Stevie had told Adrian, Paula and Lucy what had happened with Joey.

‘It crossed my mind,’ I said, ‘but I would have hoped he could have told me as he did before.’

‘Unless it’s something much worse.’

I shivered, but not from the cold. ‘Like what?’ I asked, glancing at him. ‘Stevie never goes out apart from going to school and seeing his grandparents. And I’m sure he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice online.’

Adrian shrugged. ‘Unless it was something he did before he came to us and he’s only just been found out.’

How true those words would turn out to be.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.