A Christmas Kiss With Her Ex-Army Doc / Second Chance With The Surgeon
Her eyelids clamped closed for a second. That was a question to which there was no answer. And ultimately she’d chosen a different path. But one that hadn’t necessarily turned out much better. But seeing him interact with that woman a few minutes ago had been a good wake-up call about why she needed to be careful.
She forced her attention to her surroundings. “How about over to our right? It’s pretty empty.”
“Looks good.” He lifted the tote off her shoulder, fingers lightly brushing the side of her neck as he did so. A shiver erupted from that tiny contact, setting off her inner seismograph. It started frantically scribbling a warning that she’d better heed.
You need to sit down. Now.
She headed off in that direction, urging Tommie to follow. She did, but not without a shrill wail of protest. Hollee rolled her eyes.
“Not you too,” she muttered. “One of us has to keep our heads, girl. This is a man who doesn’t stick around for long. Don’t count on his dog being any different.”
A minute later they arrived at their destination, Clancy having to go more slowly in deference to Gordy’s shorter strides. “Could you hold him for a minute?”
She took the dog’s leash as he removed the quilt from the tote and tossed it open, allowing it to flutter toward the ground. Why did the man make everything look effortless? He took the ball and its thrower and set them on one corner. “That blanket looks handmade.”
“The quilt? It is. My grandmother made it. She used it for picnics and so did my mom. Now it’s mine.” She didn’t think it would last another generation, though, as it had been mended more than once. But she couldn’t bring herself to leave it in a cabinet unused. It just seemed wrong. And since she was an only child, and there were no prospects on the horizon, it didn’t look like there would be a next generation. A pang went through her.
“Nice.”
He took Gordy’s leash again and motioned for her to sit first. She did, smiling when Tommie immediately tried to plop in her lap. She’d never quite grasped the fact that she was a big dog. Bigger than laps were made to accommodate. But that hadn’t stopped her yet.
Clancy toed off his tennis shoes and sat his jeans-clad form on the other side of the quilt. Gordy didn’t try to crawl in his lap, she noted. He, evidently the better behaved of the two, sat beside his owner, his tail wagging back and forth.
Sucking down a chilly burst of air, but glad the weather had warmed up enough to allow this kind of outing in December, she allowed her muscles to finally relax now that her legs had stopped their quivering. “By January this will be impossible, so we’d better enjoy it while we can.”
He set Gordy’s leash on the quilt beside him. “Oh, I plan to enjoy every second I get.”
Giving him a sharp look and finding his attention focused in the distance, she decided he wasn’t talking about her but about the weather.
She started to remove Tommie’s leash, since the park allowed it, then stopped. “If I let her go, will it bother him?”
“No. If she won’t run off, I’ll take his leash off too. He has a tendency to play follow the leader.”
“Tommie pretty much sticks to me like glue.”
Once freed, the dogs came to the center and sniffed each other again before moving into the nearby grass. Gordy rolled, while Tommie sat and kept watch. It looked like she wasn’t going to have to keep Tommie entertained after all. The animals looked perfectly content to romp nearby.
“How are you settling in at the hospital?”
He leaned back on his elbows. “It’s a big change from what I’m used to, but I’m enjoying it. Obviously, I get more pediatric cases here than I did in the military.”
“Those have to be hard.”
He shifted to look at her. “They’re different. A lot of them are due to accidents or burns, which definitely make you stop and think.”
“Think? About what?”
“About what would have happened if things had turned out differently. About the long-term effects of a split-second decision.”
Long-term effects? Oh, those were very real. One kiss had turned her world upside down and then dumped her onto her backside. It had been a heartbreaking lesson to learn: Don’t let your impulsive side take control. Ever. Something she’d been very conscious of. It’s one reason she hadn’t dated since Jacob had died. She didn’t want to take a chance on love, only to find out she’d made a mistake. Again.
Ugh. This was ridiculous. She hadn’t thought of this stuff in years.
Maybe that wasn’t exactly true, but it’s what she needed to do: stop thinking about it. Those decisions were over and done with, and like Clancy had talked about with those injuries, they were irrevocable.
She fingered the stitching on the quilt. “I guess the same thing is true in labor and delivery. I’ve seen my share of surprise pregnancies. The parents’ attitudes make the difference between it being a blessing or a burden. Like you said, split-second decisions carry consequences that follow you. For a long time.”
Clancy stared at her, and it dawned on her that this time her tying something to the past hadn’t just been in her head. She’d done it out loud, and he’d caught her. Only she hadn’t done it on purpose. It just came out.
“Yes, they do.”
Forcing herself to concentrate on the dogs, who were now lounging in the grass sunning themselves—Tommie’s belly on full display, while Gordy’s head was up, his eyes closed. “Well, they’re sure enjoying themselves.”
“They are.”
She smiled. “So am I. I guess we got our play date after all.” She quickly nodded toward the dogs. “Or theirs, I should say.”
Despite her earlier thoughts, it really was nice just to sit beside him and soak in the sun. The only impulsive decision here had been to stay when she’d wanted to run. And it wasn’t proving to be as disastrous as she’d feared.
“I appreciate you letting us crash your party.”
She laughed. “I don’t think Tommie is complaining too much.”
“Neither is Gordy.” He thought for a minute. “If you wanted, Tommie could stay at my place so your mom wouldn’t have to move in with her. I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind feeding them both and letting them out.”
“So you’ve decided to go?”
“It looks like Ava and the baby will be fine so yes.”
She thought for a minute, trying to process what he’d just said and the fact that he’d suggested the dogs stay together. Her mom loved Tommie and she was pretty sure she’d be devastated to have to change her plans. “My mom’s looking forward to spending time with Tommie. Maybe Gordy could come stay at my place.”
He looked at her, frown in place. “Are you sure? He can be a little stubborn, as you saw earlier.”
“Really? Well, my mom’s put up with my stubbornness for twenty-seven years. I think she can handle Gordy.”
“Gordy would probably like the company, actually. My mom still works, so she can’t spend the whole day with him. But he can certainly survive. Ask your mom first, though, and see what she says.”
“I will, but I already know it won’t be a problem. So just plan on it. Besides, your mom will probably be busy with her new grandbaby. You can drop him off on your way to the hospital the day we leave.”
“I can give you a ride, so we don’t end up having to leave both of our vehicles at the hospital, if you want.”
Okay, so she hadn’t bargained on riding over with him, but what was she going to say? No, I won’t ride with you?
“Or I could give you a ride.”
She only realized her chin was now sticking out defiantly when he tapped it. “You’re right. Your mom can definitely handle Gordy.”
“Very funny.” But she did tuck her chin back in its normal position.
They spent the next half hour talking about things at the hospital and the trip, Clancy asking her if she’d ever practiced medicine in a disaster area.
“No, never. But as far as medicine goes, I imagine it’ll be more about the big picture than the minutiae we worry about at the hospital, but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to work with what you have, something we don’t always learn in medical school.”
“True. We don’t always learn that in life either.”
“No, we don’t.” Something Hollee would be smart to remember. If she could remember not to focus on the minutiae or try to “fix” things between her and Clancy, maybe they could learn how to relate to each other on a professional level and leave their personal feelings in the past.
Was that even possible? Especially with the season of mistletoe fast approaching? Would she need to perpetually be on the lookout for those traitorous sprigs? It was the time of hope. And kisses. Lord knew, she’d fantasized over that kiss long after it had happened. And now with him sitting beside her, his shoulder periodically brushing hers, it was hard not to go back and remember what it had been like to obsess over every little thing about him. The earthy scent that clung to his clothes. The smooth, warm leather of his jacket against her cheek as he’d given her a ride home on his bike. The heady anticipation of his lips as they’d ever so slowly descended…
God. She could feel that kiss all over again. A spike of panic went through her, going deep and lodging there.
Please, don’t start wanting him again, Hollee.
How was she going to survive two weeks with him in Bender? Or seeing him for hours on end day in and day out?
She had no idea. But she’d better figure out a coping strategy, and quickly. Or those long-term effects of a split-second decision that Clancy had talked about earlier could end up happening again. And if it did, she’d be in danger of it haunting her for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER FOUR
STRAINS OF CHRISTMAS music came down the corridors as Hollee headed toward the pediatric ward, telling her that Santa Claus was coming to town.
He actually was coming to town. Arlington Regional’s part of town, anyway. It was always one of her favorite times at the hospital. They had a separate room set up with a huge Christmas tree and enough space to hold a hundred people. It was their way of giving back to the community. Patients current and past could come by for the next four Saturdays leading up to Christmas and get their picture taken with jolly Old St. Nick himself—played by whichever staff member happened to be available on any given weekend. Presents were piled high around the tree, courtesy of a grant given by a local business, one who’d been doing this for the last ten years.
Ten years. Her eyes closed. The year she’d gotten married.
Over and done with, Hollee. Stop dwelling on it.
She hadn’t been. She’d actually been getting on with her life. Until Clancy had walked back into it. Only he hadn’t known she was working at the hospital. She’d seen the shock on his face when he saw her in that corridor. He’d definitely not planned to ever lay eyes on her again.
And who could blame him? She’d never tried to contact him after Jacob died. Or speak to him after the funeral. She only had the small bits of information that Ava had mentioned over the years.
She turned the corner and those thoughts died, a smile taking over. The music was louder in here. And the room was full of children and laughter. Some of the kids wore wristbands signifying they were patients, and some didn’t.
And there was Santa, sitting on what looked like a throne. A red velvet chair with ornate gold scrollwork that someone had dug up at a local thrift store and reupholstered. It had been in use for as long as most people could remember. But Santa Claus’s identity changed each week.
There had to be pillows under that red suit, because this Santa didn’t have anything that “shook like a bowlful of jelly.” Despite the long white beard that covered the area under his nose, the man’s face had no extra flesh. It was firm and carved, and there was a deep, deep furrow between his…
She peered closer, her mouth going suddenly dry.
It couldn’t be. There was no way he would have agreed to be Santa.
Then again, the requests usually came from the hospital administrator, a hard man to turn down. Not because he was harsh and insisted, but because he had a quiet way of somehow convincing people to do what he wanted. Mainly because it was normally for the good of the hospital. Or morale. Or their patients. Even though this was a private hospital, Neil was really good at making this about health care rather than the almighty dollar. He’d even been known to go to bat against insurance companies when they refused to cover life-saving procedures. And since the board had kept him on, they must agree with the way he ran things.
But Clancy? As Santa?
The one thing she couldn’t imagine him saying was “Ho, ho, ho!”
But there was a sexiness about him that came through, despite the oversized clothes. It was there in those dark eyes. In the slight way his mouth kicked up to the side when he smiled. Or maybe she was the only one who noticed those things. She doubted it, though. Women had always paid attention whenever he was around.
It wasn’t just his body, though. It was the way he carried himself—the way he moved and talked. Even when he’d reclined on her quilt at the dog park, he’d been completely at ease with himself—a kind of self-confidence that bordered on arrogance, but stayed just this side of it. It was what had caught her attention and carried her beyond mere friendship when she, Jacob and Ava had been teenagers.
She hadn’t cared about the consequences back then. Until Ava had pointed out that mistletoe and sent the events that followed spinning out of control. There’d been no coming back from that. Not as friends.
His eyes swept the room and caught her staring. That bushy white brow cocked at her in challenge and, sure enough, the left side of his mouth curved. Damn. The man would be sexy even when he was eighty.
She couldn’t contain a small laugh and a shake of her head that she hoped conveyed her disbelief at seeing him in that chair. She pointed at him and mouthed, You?
One of his shoulders gave a half shrug. Then Neil got up on the stage, kicking up a bit of fake snow as he did so.
They’d done a great job on the decorations, and not just the snow. It was the whole atmosphere. There was a winter scene that boasted twinkle lights and huge shimmering Christmas ornaments. Some of those ornaments had been tossed haphazardly around the tree, as if they’d fallen and rolled into their spots. A tall snowman—a crazy patterned scarf knotted around his neck—stood off to the right, one bony stick arm raised in welcome. Someone had stuffed a set of lights inside him that changed color in time with the music. Which was now sounding off the names of Santa’s reindeer.
It hadn’t snowed in Arlington this year, but Hollee hoped, for the sake of the children, that whoever oversaw the weather sent a dusting of the white stuff their way before Christmas.
The administrator thanked everyone for coming. “We need a couple of staff members to be elves and pass out the presents. I see Hollee and Kristen out there. Would you two mind coming up?”
Oh, God. Why on earth had she stopped in here?
With the trip, she’d miss out on at least two of the Saturdays at the hospital, and who knew if her schedule after she got back would leave time to pop in? Besides, she’d been called on to be an elf before. It was no big deal. Or at least it shouldn’t be.
But she’d not played elf to this particular Santa before. And wasn’t sure she wanted to now.
Especially since Santa’s lips were curved up in a smile that was full of mischief. And those lips were…
What? What exactly were they? A thread of irritation ran through her. She kept circling back around to the same issue.
That stupid kiss should have only been a tiny blip on the radar.
But it was a blip that seemed to keep coming back to haunt her. And now she was one of his elves.
The only thing she could do was to play along. This was for these kids. Not for her.
She headed for the stage, meeting Kristen halfway. She forced a smile. “Can you believe we got sucked into this?”
The brunette, probably five years younger than she was, laughed. “And yet we keep coming back for more.”
“Yes, we do.”
Kristen bumped shoulders with her. “You have to admit it’s fun to get to see the kids’ faces up close and personal. And this week’s Santa is pretty dreamy.”
Her stomach plummeted. Of course Kristen had noticed. How could anyone in their right mind not see past the costume to the man himself? It was a good reminder of all the reasons Clancy was out of her league. He always had been. She’d just been too young to recognize it ten years ago.
Neil was talking about the logistics as they got onto the stage. She was glad she’d worn her Christmas ornaments scrubs in honor of today’s festivities. Afterward there would be refreshments. She was off duty for the rest of the afternoon, which was why she could even be here today in the first place.
And she was glad. Glad that she’d get to watch Clancy’s reaction as kids came up and told him what they wanted for Christmas and then received a gift in return. Photos would be taken that would later be mailed home to the families, so they’d have a keepsake of the day. It was great for the hospital’s image, but she was relieved that that’s not what drove the event.
Neil’s daughter had been a patient here at the hospital many years ago. The Christmas event had been the bright spot of her stay. The administrator had vowed he’d keep the tradition alive so that no child felt left out. He’d wanted to show there was a little bit of magic to be had during this season, even in a hospital.
Soon the parade of children started, and while Kristen was on the far side, handing gifts to each child after they finished their chat with Santa, Hollee had been stationed at Santa’s right, making sure that each person got their turn. She ushered the next child, a boy of about five, to Santa and lifted him onto Clancy’s lap. “Ho, ho, ho, what is it you want from Santa?” The words were aimed at the child, but they sent a shiver over her. Because what she wanted from this particular Santa wasn’t a toy. Or a present of any type.
Her Christmases after she’d married had been fun and happy at first, but by their fourth anniversary the luster had faded. And then, once Jacob had died, she’d spent almost every Christmas at her folks’ house. Their enthusiasm for the season had rubbed off on her, and Hollee had found herself welcoming Santa back into her life once again.
And this particular Santa?
The young boy who was currently with Clancy rattled off about twenty toys he wanted, making the man in the suit smile. “That’s quite a list you have memorized. You’re lucky Santa has a good memory too. I’ll see what I can do.”
Hollee directed them both to look at the camera. “Smile.”
Smile. Something she was doing more and more of. Not because she had to but because she wanted to. She was getting into the spirit of the event, just like she always did. Despite her initial reservations about being up here with Clancy.
Two hours later, the last child had given Santa his wish list, and Hollee was getting ready to slip away when Neil interrupted. “Let’s get a picture of Santa with his helpers for the newsletter.”
What? She’d forgotten about that part of it.
She swallowed. Kristen was already on Clancy’s left, and he motioned her up. Trudging back up the steps, she stood like a statue, giving the most fake smile she’d ever drummed up.
The photographer looked through his lens. “Person on the right, can you get in a little closer? And maybe look a little bit happier about being with Santa Claus?”
Happier. This had nothing to do with happiness. She managed to sidle over about an inch, only to have the photographer make another gesture, bigger this time. Suddenly a hand was on her hip, dragging her close to Santa’s side. Eyes wide, she looked down at Clancy just as he glanced up at her, his grin dark and wicked, making her mouth go dry as she instinctively leaned into him. The world seemed to fade away.
It was then that a couple of blinding flashes reminded her that someone was taking photographs. She hurriedly turned her face back toward the photographer and forced herself to smile again. Except he was already gathering his equipment.
What? That was it? Her face had to have been the craziest of crazies. She looked at Kristen to see her laughing at something Clancy was saying, and her smile suddenly deserted her.
It was like being at the dog park all over again. Was there a woman on this earth who was immune to his charm?
Evidently not, judging by the way Hollee herself had stared at the man just moments earlier, her gaze dropping to his lips.
And then her mind shifted to the music that was currently playing, and she rolled her eyes. Seriously? Well, some kid’s mom might have been caught kissing Santa, but she was not about to join that particular club. Especially not now.
So before she could somehow incriminate herself even further, she decided to hang up her Santa’s helper costume and leave Clancy in Kristen’s more than capable hands. She cringed at the image that thought evoked.
Because if he started actively flirting with her, Hollee was afraid she might scratch the other woman’s eyes out. Despite the fact that it should mean nothing to her. And it looked like she had her answer after all.
This Santa had no place in her life. Not now. And probably not ever.
CHAPTER FIVE
WHAT THE HELL had possessed him to pull Hollee toward him like that the other day? The thought had rolled round and round his thoughts until he was dizzy.
He’d been trying to help the photographer, he reasoned.
Sure he had. What he’d really tried to do was get his hands on her, like he’d been itching to do all afternoon. Watching her help those kids, her warm smile as each one of them passed by, had worn away at him. Chipping away like a lumberjack preparing to fell a tree.
And sure enough, the second his fingers had cupped the curve of her hip, he could hear the distant shout of Timber! as he’d come crashing to the ground.
He wanted her. Wanted to toss her onto the nearest bed and do what he hadn’t gotten to do ten years ago. He wondered if maybe he should sleep with her to get it out of his system, but that was not going to happen. The last thing he needed was to make a messy history even messier. No one, except he and Hollee, knew what had happened that night, although he sometimes wondered if Ava had somehow guessed, since she was the one who’d pointed out the mistletoe.
He’d been hard-pressed to hide his emotions after telling her the kiss had been a mistake. But, at the time, he’d felt Jacob had been right. So he’d made the break as definite as possible.
He’d have to be just as adept now, although there was no need. Not anymore. She wasn’t interested in him. The way she’d sped out of the room after that photo told him all he needed to know.
He glanced at his watch. He was a few minutes early to his first appointment but decided to see if his patient was in her room. If he immersed himself in work, he could wipe everything else from his mind.
The phone on his hip buzzed, and without stopping what he was doing, he shifted it so he could see the screen. Hollee?
What the hell? It was almost as if she’d known he was thinking about her.
Pulling the phone free, he put it to his ear. “Hey, what’s up?”
“I need you down here.”
“What?” His brain stalled for a second, almost missing her next words.
“We have a problem in Maternity. Can you come?”
His thoughts sidestepped back to reality, although he couldn’t imagine why they would need him. But she wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t urgent. “I’ll be there in three.”