“I do.” Emily’s eyes glowed with excitement. “I want to know who you were texting with, because Eddie seriously had me otherwise occupied last night.”
Trying to squash her doubts and thoughts of what her best friend claimed to have been doing instead, Beth shrugged. “Then I guess we’ll never know, will we?”
Lord, she hoped her friend was teasing, that Emily had been the texter, as she’d been so positive about the night before when she’d been too tired to think clearly. Good ole Emily. Always pulling her leg and trying to push her out of her comfortable protective shell.
“Sure we will.”
Beth cut her gaze to her best friend. “How?”
“Hello.” Emily snapped her fingers in front of Beth’s face. “You’re smarter than that.”
Realization dawned and Beth’s jaw dropped. “Uh-uh. No way am I calling that number.”
Emily held out her hand. “Fine. I will. Give me your phone.”
“No way.” Beth’s gut clenched into tight knots. “If I wasn’t texting with you, then I prefer not knowing who now knows my biggest secret. How humiliating?!”
Emily didn’t look impressed by Beth’s inner misery. “So what if someone knows you think Dr. Randolph is the cat’s meow? The man is hot. It’s a fact.”
Beth couldn’t stop her blush.
“Plus, if what you said is true and he and Dr. Qualls have broken up, then he’s fair game now.” Emily waggled her perfectly plucked brows. “If you ask me, you should tell him you think he’s one fine specimen of a man.”
Beth went into sensory overload and mental shutdown any time the man was near. The last thing she should do was tell him how fine she thought he was. She shook her head. “I don’t know that they’ve broken up. Plus, even if they have broken up, they’ll probably just get back together.”
“Ask him, and you can’t judge every man by what Barry did.”
Beth shook her head harder, faster, as if that made her response more negative and would jar Barry Neal from her mind forever.
“You have a serious problem, you know.”
Beth knew.
“You let a stupid ex influence how you view all men, influence how you dress and act, and then, when you finally start getting over him, you fall crazy in lust with a man you avoid at all costs. I’ve never seen feet move as fast as yours any time he comes near.” Emily gave a disappointed sigh. “I really think this whole Eli thing is just another way for you to avoid getting back into the dating saddle.”
“Maybe.” But she really didn’t think so because she’d like to be back in the dating saddle. As far as the way she dressed and acted went, Emily was referring to her college days. One couldn’t wear streaks of blue in one’s hair, a nose ring, and colorful Hello Kitty T-shirts and retro make-up forever. The changes in her had nothing to do with Barry having crushed her heart and spirit. She’d grown up, had a more mature look, that was all.
“You’re crazy,” Emily accused.
If she’d revealed her silly schoolgirl crush on Dr. Randolph to some stranger then she couldn’t argue with her friend’s assessment of her mental state. She was crazy.
Crazy about a man who didn’t know she existed.
Whether to distract himself of his failure with Cassidy or for some other insane reason, Eli had thought of little other than the previous night’s text messages. He’d even gone so far as to try to track down who the number belonged to via the internet but had been unsuccessful as the number wasn’t a public one.
He couldn’t seem to put the messages from his head.
Especially at moments like the present one.
Moments he was at the hospital and searching every face as if somehow he’d figure out who the texter was by the look on her face. What did he expect? That the truth would be stamped across her forehead like a scarlet letter?
Most likely, whoever the texter was, she worked in ICU since she’d had to work late to cover for Leah Windham. She was also probably a nurse. Which made sense since she was friends with Emily Jacobs.
With a little patience and a leading conversation to find out who’d worked late the night before, he’d have this figured out before the day ended.
Usually he rivaled Job on the patience score, but today he just felt antsy. He wanted to know whom he’d been texting. Why it was so imperative, he wasn’t sure—he just needed to know.
He’d actually considered asking Emily which one of her friends was obsessed with him, but figured the woman would tell him where he could go rather than give him a name.
“Dr. Randolph?” A pleasant female in her mid-fifties caught him just as he’d been heading for the elevator. “A patient is being admitted to 303 with a pulmonary embolism and you’ve been consulted on her,” the charge nurse told him. “She’s not on the floor yet, but should be within a half hour.”
“Thanks, Ruth.” Glancing at his watch, he figured he should grab something to eat while still at the hospital. Then hopefully the new admission would be on the floor and he’d do the consult prior to heading back to his office to start his afternoon appointments.
Maybe, just maybe, while in the ICU, he’d get a glimpse of whoever he’d been texting with the night before, because, whoever she was, his interest was piqued.
CHAPTER TWO
“DON’T LOOK NOW, but guess who just walked into the cafeteria.”
Before her friend had said a word, Beth knew exactly who had walked into the cafeteria where she and Emily were eating their lunch. Her Dr. Eli Randolph radar had started bleeping. Big time. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Which sounded ridiculous but all her senses seemed to be tuned into the man. Whenever he came around, she was just … bleeping aware.
Which made her palms sweat, her tongue thick, and her feet antsy.
Which had led to her asking her superior to please avoid assigning her to Dr. Randolph’s patients. Nurse Rogers might have thought her request odd, but without too many questions and an empathetic look she’d said she would do her best. She couldn’t avoid doing so altogether, of course, but for the most part she had attempted to accommodate Beth’s request and the few times she’d had to, Beth had avoided him during rounds.
“What if he is single now?” Emily asked, not willing to let go of their subject. “What are you going to do about him?”
Beth grimaced. “I never should have told you that I find him attractive.”
“You more than find him attractive. I’ve known you since college, have seen you through your two major relationships, and knew you way before Barry messed up your head and your sense of style. I would have known.”
Ugh at the reminder of her ex. She couldn’t care less about Barry, but her stupidity still stung. She could point out that it wasn’t her head Barry had messed up. It had been her heart, but what was one organ compared to another? Either way, she’d gotten over the cheater the hard way.
“I see how you look at that man so it’s not as if you could hide how you feel from me,” Emily pointed out, her gaze raking over Eli as if sizing him up. “I could point out that you never lit up like this around the doofus who left you for his ex and that Barry wasn’t even fit to tie Eli’s dirty ole tennis shoes.”
No, she hadn’t lit up around Barry. Just as well as he’d done the un-decent thing of sleeping with his ex while still living with Beth. Men.
“My question is, are you going to act on that attraction? Tell him you think he’s hot?”
Emily’s question snapped Beth back to the present and she frowned at her friend.
“Don’t be ridiculous and quit staring at him,” she ordered, but was unable to stop herself from doing the same. What was it about Eli that got to her so? Besides the fact that he was brilliant, breathtaking, and had the most amazing smile of any man ever, that was. “I’ve worked with him for months, and I seriously doubt he even knows my name. Why would I make a fool of myself that way?”
Why indeed?
“Because if you don’t, some other smarter, braver woman will and then you’ll still be pining after him from afar while he becomes someone else’s boyfriend because you were too chicken to go after the man of your dreams.”
Ouch. Emily didn’t mince her words.
“From afar is good.” At least from afar she could still breathe. But Eli with another woman … okay, so that thought made every organ in her body twist up like a wrung dishrag. Still, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t used to him having a girlfriend. He had from the moment she’d met him and felt whatever that instant crazy fluttering in her chest had been. Not that he’d felt it. He hadn’t. Not that he’d noticed. He hadn’t. So why should the fact that he might no longer have a girlfriend matter? She obviously hadn’t made an impression.
Plus she’d had a relationship with a man who’d had a perfect ex and ultimately he’d gone back to the woman he’d invested so much time in. No thanks on a heartbreak repeat.
“From afar sucks,” Emily needlessly pointed out. “Admit it.”
Okay, she admitted it. To herself at any rate. Emily was right. From afar did suck. Not making an impression on a man you couldn’t quit thinking about sucked. Being told that dating you had made your ex realize his ex hadn’t really been that bad after all? That sucked a big one too.
“If you don’t at least let him know that you’re interested, I’ll know that you really are using him as a shield from jumping back into the dating world.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. The man is wonderful. You’ve admitted as much yourself.”
“True, so prove it.”
Prove it? What did her friend want her to do? March up and tell him she wanted to lick him from head to toe? That she thought about him way too much morning, noon, and night?
“Look.” Her stomach clenching into a tight knot, Beth gestured toward where Eli stood. He wasn’t alone. A gorgeous blonde bombshell with kind blue eyes and an almost always present smile had joined him. “Dr. Qualls is smiling at him like crazy.” And touching his arm quite possessively. Ugh. Not that Beth had any right to feel the green flowing through her veins.
She’d already resigned herself that Eli and Cassidy would marry and for the rest of her life she’d watch them from afar, wondering, What if? Emily was right. From afar did suck, but there were some things that were just wrong. Going after another woman’s man was one of them, especially when that woman was someone as nice as Dr. Qualls. At least she hadn’t liked Barry’s ex. Not that she’d known her well, but Cassidy Qualls seemed to be a class act inside and out. “I don’t think they’ve broken up.”
Eyeing the couple, Emily waved her fork. “Actually, I think your sexter was right. I think they have. Look.”
Beth forced her gaze back toward the couple. Dr. Qualls still stood there, but she was no longer smiling. A pensive, unsure expression on her lovely face, she was watching Eli walk away and sit down at a table. By himself.
Oh, wow. Could he possibly be single? She hadn’t dared dream it possible. Well, she had dared, but hadn’t believed that her weird texter could have been right.
“I think you should go and talk to him.”
What? The man’s girlfriend—ex-girlfriend?—was standing ten feet from him. His nice ex-girlfriend whom Beth admired and thought a great hospitalist and often thought that if she had to pick someone to be like, she’d pick Cassidy Qualls. The woman had it all. But had she perhaps lost the one thing Beth envied her?
“No way. What would I say?” She took a drink, her gaze darting back and forth between Eli and Cassidy, looking for a clue to the truth. They weren’t behaving normally, that was for sure. Probably a lovers’ spat that they’d soon recover from.
“Hello.” Emily mimicked Beth’s voice and mannerisms. “My name is Beth Taylor and I want to have your children.”
Water spewed from Beth’s mouth and she gasped at her best friend. “I do not!”
“Sure you do but, okay, let me try again,” Emily cleared her throat and started over, still doing a fairly decent impression of Beth’s voice. “My name is Beth Taylor. I’d like to rip your clothes off with my teeth and have you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a regular basis.” Emily fluttered her eyelashes. “Be forewarned, I’m a girl with a hearty appetite.”
True, but not words Beth could see spilling from her mouth during a conversation with him. Words in general had difficulty spilling from her mouth when she spoke to Eli, which was yet another reason why she avoided him.
She glanced toward where he sat alone at a rectangular table for six. He had on blue scrubs that were a little darker than the shade of his eyes. His slightly curly brown hair was rumpled, as if he’d run his fingers through it more often than usual today. Another doctor, a cardiologist, came over and must have asked if he could join him. Nodding, Eli smiled at the man and Beth’s heart thump-thump-thumped.
Crazy how something as simple as his smile caused her body to react so profoundly. She’d probably go into cardiac arrest and need the services of that cardiologist if Eli ever aimed one of those smiles directly at her. That would be her luck. He’d walk by, smile politely, and she’d fall over. Kaput. At least she’d die knowing that if he was that close he’d perform mouth to mouth and that would be the last thing she felt against her lips. Hmm, might be worth meeting her maker a little sooner.
“I see you aren’t denying that one,” Emily pointed out with an all-too-smug grin.
Her friend was right. She wanted to gobble Eli up and go back for seconds. And thirds. And … Beth sighed. “At least that diet sounds like one I could stick to,” she conceded with a slight shrug.
Emily laughed. “Regardless of your reasons for being interested in Dr. Randolph, if he’s single you really should let him know you’re interested. Not every man is Barry, whom I personally never thought good enough for you anyway, nor did he ever rev your juices the way Dr. Randolph does.”
No one had ever affected her the way Eli did. Just thinking about him made her heart pound and her body clench with excited flutters. If by some grace of God they did date, but then Eli told her that dating her made him realize how wonderful Cassidy was, at least she would understand that. The woman was the total package—looks, brains, heart.
“Dr. Randolph is a good man,” Emily continued between waves of her fork. “A hot man. You’ll regret it always if you don’t at least try. Go for it.”
“That doesn’t mean Dr. Randolph would be interested in me.” His tastes obviously ran to quite the opposite of her. Tall, blonde, perfect.
“Why wouldn’t he be? You’re smart, pretty, fun, kind, a little quirky at times, but, hey, no one is perfect … except me.” Emily grinned.
“That’s a given.” She half smiled at her friend’s exception and didn’t point out that she’d just labeled Cassidy as perfect as well.
“You know you want him.”
From the moment she’d first seen him. Never had she felt such a crazy intense attraction. Not for any of her few high-school and college boyfriends, or for Barry, whom she’d thought she’d marry. Emily was right. From the beginning there had been something different about Eli and quite frankly that terrified her.
“As I’ve pointed out, that doesn’t mean he’d want me in return. He’s never even noticed me.”
Emily failed to look impressed by Beth’s argument. “I’m not quite sure how he could have since you go into hibernation any time he comes onto the ICU floor, but hello!” Emily snapped her fingers in front of Beth’s face. “The man has had a girlfriend. One he has been in a relationship with for a long time. He’s a good guy, not one who has a wandering eye while in a relationship. It’s a good quality that he hasn’t noticed you up to this point. Now that he’s single, you need to shake your tail feathers and make sure he does notice.”
She wasn’t much for shaking tail feathers these days, wouldn’t even know where to start. “He may not even be single.”
“He is.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Just because he isn’t sitting with Dr. Qualls doesn’t mean they’ve broken up. Besides, even if they have broken up, who’s to say they won’t get back together?”
“Wherein lies the real problem,” Emily accused, then narrowed her gaze and pursed her lips. “Chicken.”
Beth winced. Was she letting the past keep her from even going after what she wanted in the present? Probably. She bit the inside of her lower lip. Fantasizing about a man she considered beyond her reach had been one thing. Actually acting on that fantasy if he’d become single, well, that was another thing altogether. She’d resigned herself that Eli would never be available, that he’d always just be the man who fascinated her from afar. She’d fully expected him to marry Dr. Qualls and have beautiful children with the gifted doctor. Odds were that even if they had broken up, that’s still what would happen. Beth knew the score.
But if he were single right now, at this moment …
If he was single, then what if he’d be interested in her? Even if for a short while, even if he later told her that she didn’t measure up when compared to Cassidy, she wanted that shot.
Question was, what was she willing to do, to risk, to make that shot happen?
Had he been too harsh with Cassidy? Eli hoped not. He didn’t want to be unkind to her. At the same time, they needed to start having more space between them. Perhaps that was wrong as last night she’d sent him sext messages and he’d briefly considered sending her one back. Much better to cut the ties for a while. She’d just claimed to have been drunk the night before, but Cassidy never drank more than a single glass of wine. Had she just been embarrassed that he’d not returned her message? If only she knew the truth.
Regardless, they were meant to be friends, not lovers. To pretend otherwise for a single second longer would be cruel to a woman he liked and respected. That was what made this all so difficult. He didn’t want to lose Cassidy’s friendship.
Ending their relationship had meant more than admitting there was something wrong with him that he couldn’t commit to spending the rest of his life with such an amazing woman, but it also meant damaging his relationship with his best friend.
“What’s up with you and Wonder Woman?” Dr. Andrew Morgan said as he joined Eli.
Eli took a deep breath, then exhaled. He preferred his personal business to be private, but he supposed it was unrealistic that his colleagues wouldn’t question what had happened. “You mean Cassidy.”
He supposed she was a wonder woman of sorts. There was little she couldn’t do and do well. She was a great catch. He was the fool who couldn’t take that next step with her because he wanted more. More of what he wasn’t sure, but if Cassidy had been his soul mate surely he wouldn’t have found himself backtracking when she’d hinted she wanted a ring.
“Yes, I mean Cassidy,” Andrew said, as if Eli wasn’t in his right mind or he’d have known exactly to whom he referred. “You two having an argument?”
He shook his head. “We decided to go our separate ways.”
“She dump you?”
Eli struggled with how to answer. He didn’t want to say anything that might hurt Cassidy.
“We’ve decided to just be friends.”
“How could you possibly just be friends with a woman like Cassidy?”
Eli looked a little closer at his colleague, noting the heightened color in the man’s cheeks, the rapid pulse at his throat, and the strong set to his jaw. Interesting.
“Because that’s how we feel about each other. Friendly. It’s all we should have ever been.” Even as he said the words out loud, the truth echoed through him.
“Sure took you long enough to figure that out.”
“Tell me about it,” Eli snorted, wondering why it had taken so long. “Then again, like you said, Cassidy is a wonderful woman.” His family had loved her. His mother had repeatedly told him how Cassidy was everything she’d ever hoped for in a daughter-in-law. To say she’d been disappointed at his news was the understatement of the year. “A man hesitates to let her go even when he knows it isn’t going to happen between them.”
Andrew nodded as if he understood, but Eli could tell he obviously didn’t. His mother hadn’t either. For that matter, he himself didn’t understand why he hadn’t been content with Cassidy.
“You should ask her out.” Andrew obviously felt a passion for her that Eli couldn’t, no matter how much he’d wanted to.
Andrew’s eyes widened, then he glanced away rapidly. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not? She’s single. You’re single. Go for it.”
The man regarded him suspiciously. “You really wouldn’t care?”
Eli shook his head. “I’d be happy for you if things worked out. She’s a great woman and deserves a man to treat her so. I plan to date and imagine she will too. Ask her.”
Andrew toyed with his fork. “Maybe I will.”
It struck Eli that he should feel remorse or jealousy or some sense of loss that a woman he’d invested years with might be moving on with another man, perhaps this man. He didn’t feel any of those things. Just relief that he was no longer tied to Cassidy, which again made him wonder if something was wrong with him, if he’d set his expectations so high that even a woman who was perfect for him on paper couldn’t meet them.
“You should,” he repeated. “A woman like her isn’t likely to stay single long.”
The flash of panic in Andrew’s eyes said it all. He had a thing for Cassidy, but had obviously held it at bay in respect for her relationship with Eli.
That was when Emily Jacobs caught Eli’s eye.
Emily Jacobs. As in the person his texter had thought he was the night before. Was the woman sitting across the cafeteria table from her his mysterious texter?
Dark hair, light colored eyes, although he couldn’t make out their exact blue-green color, creamy complexion with a spattering of freckles across her face. Naturally pretty. Somewhat familiar.
She worked in ICU. He recalled seeing her there, although usually only glimpses here and there. Odd really when he thought about it. He was in the ICU a lot. How come his path rarely crossed this woman’s—Beth something—in the ICU?
Unless she purposely avoided him.
Why would she do that?
Unless she was the texter and because of her attraction to him she’d purposely steered clear.
It was a possibility. One he wanted to put to the test.
“Excuse me,” he said to the man lost in his thoughts sitting across from him, and pulled out his cellular phone. He opened his text messages from the night before and glanced at the number. Was it hers? Beth’s from ICU? Logic said it was, but he wanted proof, to know for sure. He hit the telephone icon button that would dial her number and watched her closely.
When she set her fork down on her plate and reached into her scrub pocket to pull out her phone, answering without looking at the number, Eli smiled.
Bingo.
His smile widened. Although he didn’t quite understand, an excitement filled him that he hadn’t felt in years … maybe ever.
Maybe he wasn’t ready to settle down with Cassidy, maybe there was something wrong with him that was holding him back, but at the moment, he wasn’t going to worry about those things. For now he was going to quit stressing about the future and his expectations, his parents’ expectations, the fact he’d chosen to become single rather than marry the “perfect” woman. He was going to enjoy life, to have fun, and not take everything so seriously. Something he’d just realized that he’d forgotten to do over the past few years.
“Hello?” Beth answered, expecting to hear her nurse supervisor’s voice telling her that they needed her back on the floor. Rarely did she make it through a full lunch without an interruption from a patient or one of her coworkers, which was why she usually just ate in the ICU break room. Today she’d wanted to pick Emily’s brain.
Instead of Ruth telling her to come back to ICU, she heard a resounding click.
Pulling the phone away from her ear, she looked at the number.
Aiiiiggghhhhh!