Once More, With Feeling

‘Tricky one,’ he said. ‘I expect she intends to lie through her teeth to him.’

‘Oh, dear. Do you think he’ll come back for some answers?’

David shrugged. ‘Depends how convincing she is. Some women aren’t very convincing liars.’

He was looking at her oddly, as if he was referring to her, and she felt her heart thud uncomfortably. Not that she had lied—except by omission, to allow him to think that Jamie was hers.

Still, his eyes searched hers as he stood up and came slowly round the end of the desk.

‘I ought to tell you all about the man she’s having the affair with. Why don’t we do it over a drink on the way home?’

She had to physically stop herself from backing up against the wall to get away from him.

‘No! I mean—I’m tired, and it was Jamie’s first day at school. I ought to get back and see him and ask Mrs Bradley how he was when she picked him up.’

‘Mrs Bradley?’

‘Our housekeeper.’

David’s brows quirked slightly. ‘Housekeeper, eh? I thought you’d have an au pair.’

Emily shook her head. ‘No—it was a provision of Philip’s will that she have a home with us for life, and a living allowance. He left us all very well provided for, and Mrs Bradley’s just another example of his thoughtfulness. She’s been with his family for years, and Jamie knows her. It seemed very sensible, and to be honest I’m very grateful to her for all she does. I couldn’t do my job properly without her.’

‘No, I can see that,’ he said. He paused, those soft grey eyes searching her face until the need to run was paramount. And yet he wasn’t threatening—rather the reverse. His hand came up and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face, and she quivered at his touch. ‘Poor Emily,’ he said softly. ‘It must be very hard for you. How does Jamie cope with his mother working when his father’s died so recently?’

She should have corrected him then, but she didn’t—another lost opportunity. Tonight, though, didn’t seem to be the time. Instead she focused on his words. ‘I haven’t worked since Philip became very ill near the end.’

‘Was it cancer?’

She nodded. ‘Yes—stomach cancer. For ages he thought he had an ulcer. By the time they realised it wasn’t, it was too late.’

‘But you didn’t pick it up?’

She shook her head. How could she have done? She wasn’t there; but David didn’t know that. She must find a time to tell him all that had happened, before he thought she was deceiving him. After all they had been through, she owed him honesty, even though Jamie made a useful smokescreen.

To think she had just finished telling Ann Blake that she couldn’t use her daughter to hide behind!

And Jamie, her son or not, needed her now. She might not be his mother, but she was the closest the poor child would ever get, and she fully intended to do her job well. ‘I must get home,’ she said now. ‘Jamie will be fretting.’

‘Of course.’

He seemed suddenly distant, and for a moment Emily felt a shocking sense of loss sweep through her.

Absurd.

Without giving herself time to think, she bade him goodnight and made her way out.

He was the last person she would want to see, David told himself disgustedly, but it didn’t stop him pulling up outside her cottage with a pot plant from the local garage and a bottle of plonk.

It was only a welcome to the area, after all, a simple gesture from an old friend.

And he might get to meet this child of hers, the child she had conceived not two years after their separation—before their divorce was final, even.

He fought down the bitter jealousy that surged in his veins, and concentrated instead on juggling the plant and bottle while he locked his car. Perhaps he should just go, he thought, take the stuff to the surgery in the morning and forget about invading her privacy—

‘Can I help you?’

A matronly woman stood in the open doorway, lit from behind by the welcoming glow that spilt from the cottage across the path to his feet. It didn’t quite reach him, and somehow stepping into the light suddenly assumed an almost mystical significance.

‘Is Emily at home?’ he asked, remaining where he was.

‘Who should I say it is?’ she responded, without inviting him in.

‘David—David Trevellyan.’

The door was immediately held wider, and a smile broke out on the woman’s face. ‘Come in, Dr Trevellyan. I’ll fetch her—she’s putting Jamie to bed.’

He stepped into the light, his heart easing even as he did so. ‘Could you find a home for these? Just a sort of house warming present.’

‘How kind.’ The warm hazel eyes twinkled like currants above plump cheeks that rose with her smile and squashed her eyes into merry slits. David found himself returning the smile and feeling grateful that Emily and her son had such a kindly soul caring for them.

‘Make yourself at home, Dr Trevellyan—I’ll just pop these in the kitchen and go and find Emily.’

He stood in the hallway while she bustled into the kitchen and then out again, hurrying up the stairs.

He heard a mumbled conversation overhead, then Emily appeared at the top of the stairs.

‘David?’

Was it his imagination, or did she sound breathless?

He tipped his head back and shielded his eyes from the overhead light. ‘Hi. I just wondered if you wanted to go out for that drink now—if Jamie’s settled.’

‘Oh.’ She looked flustered, her hands fluttering over her clothes. ‘I’m not really dressed for going out.’

‘That’s OK. The local isn’t smart; your jeans are fine.’

More than fine, if the tightening in his body was anything to go by.

‘Um—let me brush my hair and I’ll be down.’

He watched as she turned, the faded denim taut over the smooth curve of her bottom, and cursed softly under his breath.

He must be mad.

Emily felt sick with fright—or was it anticipation? Ridiculous. She brushed her hair until the roots protested, then dragged a scrape of colour over her lips and smudged them hastily together. That would do. It would have to.

Abandoning her brush, she ran down the stairs like an eager teenager.

‘Ready?’ he asked.

She nodded. ‘I just need my coat.’

He held it for her, his fingers brushing her neck as he lifted her hair away from the collar in a gesture she remembered so well. A little shiver ran over her skin and, forcing a smile, she turned to him.

‘Shall we?’

He opened the door for her, closed it behind them and then settled her into the car before going round and sliding behind the wheel.

The inside of the car seemed suddenly terribly small and intimate, and her breathing seemed unnaturally loud.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked to fill the emptiness.

‘The Bull-remember it?’

She did—vividly. They had spent many a happy lunchtime there, sandwiched between long, lazy mornings in bed and long, equally lazy evenings in front of the fire at the cottage.

‘Has it changed?’

‘Not much. Nothing round here changes much. It gets a bit hectic in the summer, but at this time of year it’s mainly locals.’

They pulled up in the nearly deserted car park, and she followed him through the low doorway into the heavily beamed lounge that was empty except for a grizzled, thick-set man wiping down the bar.

‘Evening, George.’

‘Evening, Doctor. What’ll it be?’

‘I’ll have the usual—Emily?’

‘Dry white wine, please.’

George set the drinks on the bar and eyed her curiously.

‘This is Dr Thompson—she’s just joined the practice,’ David told him.

‘Pleased to meet you—you’ll cheer that place up no end,’ he said gruffly, and pushed a glass of wine towards her. ‘Here—have them on the house.’

She smiled, his welcome warming her. ‘Thank you. Cheers—your very good health.’

His rusty laugh crackled in the empty room. ‘Of course, you’ve got a vested interest in that, haven’t you? Keep the surgery empty.’

She smiled again. ‘I don’t think there’s much chance of that. Still, at least you won’t have to pretend to be ill to satisfy your curiosity.’

He laughed again as he headed for the other bar, and David steered her over to a table in the corner, tucked in behind the deep chimney breast where they had often sat during their honeymoon. It was too intimate, and she was very conscious of his nearness.

He lifted his glass, condensation beaded on the outside, fogging the pale beer. ‘Here’s to a long and happy partnership,’ he murmured.

His eyes were in shadow, but she sensed the intensity of his gaze. Was he talking about the practice? Or them? She didn’t dare ask.

She lifted her glass, dropping her eyes to the contents. Silently she drank, the chilled wine soothing her tight throat.

‘So,’ she said eventually, ‘tell me about Ann Blake and this affair.’

‘Ah.’ He set his glass down precisely in the centre of a beermat and squared it up with the edge of the table. The task seemed to require an inordinate amount of attention.

‘Richard Wellcome is a local farmer. He and his wife are patients of mine. His wife, Jenny, has MS and is in a pretty sorry way. She hasn’t had much in the way of remission, and I don’t think she will. She’s getting increasingly spastic—she’s on Baclofen to combat it, but it’s a bit of a juggling act because it makes her very sleepy, and she keeps dropping things. Last week it was a cup of tea. Luckily it wasn’t too hot or she could have had a nasty scald.’

‘Poor woman.’

‘Mmm. And Richard, of course, is having a hard time. The farm’s not doing too well, and he’s hiding the real situation from Jenny because he doesn’t want to worry her. What with one thing and another, I’m not surprised he’s having an affair.’

‘Do you condone it?’ Emily asked sharply.

He sighed. ‘Don’t be judgemental, Emily. Life’s hard. We take what ease we can. If Ann helps him to cope, then so be it.’

‘But her own marriage is in ruins as a result.’

‘Her marriage has been in ruins for years. Women don’t have affairs with other women’s husbands if everything’s rosy at home. She was ripe for the picking.’

‘And that justifies it?’

He shrugged. ‘Maybe.’

She felt anger stir her, an old, familiar anger remembered from their earlier fights. It shocked her, but she couldn’t help responding to it.

‘David, you can’t just accept it like that. You should encourage her to seek help, to go to Relate and find a solution—’

‘Why? I’m their doctor, not their priest.’

‘But you should treat the whole person.’

‘You’re assuming that infidelity is an illness. You can’t interfere in people’s lives, Emily. That’s not what you’re there for.’

‘But what about the child?’ she argued.

‘What about her? They’ll sort themselves out, one way or another.’

She let out her breath on a whoosh. ‘I can’t believe you’re that callous.’

‘I’m not callous,’ he reasoned. ‘I just know my limitations. Medically speaking, Richard Wellcome is the one with the need. He’s a depressive—and if Ann Blake acts as an antidepressant that helps him through his life, then who am I to take her away from him? Besides, if he can cope, then Jenny can stay at home, which is what she wants. She was born there; technically it’s her farm. Richard was employed by her father to work the farm once he became too ill to manage it any more. I think he feels that quite keenly.’

‘And if it’s going badly, that’s quite a responsibility.’

‘Exactly. It’s a hell of a coil, Emily. You’re better off having as little to do with it as possible.’ He tipped back his head and drained his glass, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.

Emily watched, transfixed. He set the glass down. ‘Another one?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think so. I ought to be getting back; I’m quite tired.’

‘You’ve had a busy day,’ he said softly, and, helping her into her coat again, he ushered her out of the door.

They were silent on the journey back, and when he pulled up outside her cottage she reached immediately for the handle.

Her mouth, however, was on his side.

‘Coffee?’ she found herself asking.

‘In a minute.’

His hand on her shoulder turned her back towards him, and in the light from the porch she could see need glittering in his eyes.

She knew he was going to kiss her before he reached for her—before the warmth of his arms enfolded her against his chest, before the softness of his lips brushed against hers once, twice, before settling firmly against her mouth. One of them sighed, a ragged, broken sigh of remembrance, and then thoughts fled, lost in the heat that flared between them as their mouths met and melded, locked in a passion as old as time.

After an age he lifted his head and stared down at her, his eyes dark. ‘You taste the same,’ he whispered wonderingly.

‘So do you.’

Her voice was fractured, scrapy. She eased away from him, needed room to order her thoughts.

‘Coffee, I think,’ he said, and his voice was ragged too.

She had forgotten her offer of coffee, but it was too late now to take it back.

They got out of the car and went in.

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