Lone Star Reunion

She still missed her best friend; sometimes it felt like she’d lost her a few weeks back instead of so long ago. But grief, as she learned, had no respect for time. She’d lost her parents at ten, her best friend at twelve and Sarah just a year ago. She remembered her parents as well as she did Sarah. And Gemma as well as she remembered Sarah.

She’d heard that memories fade, that lost ones become indistinct. It had yet to happen to her. She could be doing something mundane and she’d hear Gemma’s laugh, Sarah’s voice or smell her mom’s scent, and grief would slam into her, stopping her in her tracks.

When the pain subsided, just a little, she was left feeling abandoned, so damn alone. She was able to wrangle grief back into its cage, but those other feelings always lingered, casually snacking on her soul.

Could anyone blame her for pushing people away? She loved hard and she loved deep, giving all that she had. Sometime in the future, hopefully a long time from now, she’d have to face losing her grandfather Gus. Losing him, she hoped, would be easier than losing her parents, Gemma and Sarah. They’d all died way before their times, but hopefully her healthy and fit grandfather would live until he was a hundred and slip off in his sleep after a life well lived. She could live with that—it was the circle of life—and unlike before, she wouldn’t feel abandoned.

Alex flipped the program over and traced Daniel’s gorgeous face with the tip of her finger. Although she was right to put some distance between them, she still ached for him for him with every fiber of her being. Warmth pooled through her as she remembered the way he kissed her, the way his clever hands would stroke her body, the rasp of his stubble, the play of hard muscles under her hands.

The growl of his voice against her mouth, painting her skin with sinfully sexy words...

Tonight is all about making you weep as I pleasure you...

Just feeling your eyes on me makes me so hard.

You’re going to pass out from satisfaction...

Daniel was a master of the art of talking dirty, using words and phrases that upped the sexy factor by 1000 percent. Then he lived up to his words with his skillful touch and used his mouth like a Jedi Master.

She missed him...

No, her body missed him. Her body missed him a whole bunch...

But stepping away from Daniel had been a wise move and one she’d make again. Her self-protection instinct had been carefully, meticulously honed and was now scalpel sharp. Nobody would slice and dice her again.

Alex shoved the program under the rest of her papers and straightened. Returning to her list, she lifted the plastic cover off the nearest platter and reached for a doughnut. She groaned as the treat touched her tongue, sighing at the prefect combination of fat and sugar.

God, so good. Alex chewed, swallowed and chewed again, polishing off the doughnut in three bites. She reached for another and it was halfway to her mouth when she heard a horrified gasp from the doorway.

“What the hell are you doing, Slade?” Rachel demanded, hands on her slim hips, brown eyes narrowed.

Alex pulled off a piece and chewed. Swallowing, she lifted her eyebrows at the astonished look on Rachel’s face. What was her problem? “Um, eating a doughnut? Freshly made, courtesy of Amanda Battle.”

“Actually, Jillian from the pie shop made them, but that’s neither here nor there.” Rachel stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “Why are you eating them?”

Was that a trick question? “Because they are good?”

Rachel scratched her forehead, still looking confused. “Alex, I haven’t seen you eat sugar in four years. You don’t eat junk food, ever.”

Alex looked at the doughnut in her hand, puzzled. Rachel was right, she never ate junk food and very infrequently ate carbs. So why on earth was she eating one now? And, knowing that, why was she unable to throw it in the trash?

Alex popped the last of the doughnut into her mouth and contemplated her actions. Was she finally losing it? Was the stress of organizing the bachelor auction, breaking up with Daniel and trying to work through the job offer she’d had from Houston finally getting to her?

“Alex, are you okay?”

“It’s just a doughnut, Rach. Okay, two little doughnuts,” Alex retorted. Then she reached for a paper napkin and wiped the powdered sugar off her fingers. “My sugar levels are probably low. I just needed a boost.”

“I’d believe that if I didn’t see the way you refused coffee this morning, wrinkling your nose at the smell. And last night you drank some chamomile tea.”

“I had indigestion.”

“You loathe chamomile tea,” Rachel pointed out.

Was her best friend trying to make a point? Because if she was, she was taking a hell of a long time to get to it. “You’ve obviously got something to say, Rachel, so why don’t you spit it out so I can get back to work?”

“Ooh, grumpy,” Rachel quipped, stepping forward to grip Alex’s biceps with her hands. “Honey, I think you are pregnant.”

Alex had never thought it possible that she could feel like she was burning up from the inside, as well as feeling soul-deep cold. “Okay, that’s simply not funny.”

“Am I laughing?” Rachel asked, her expression serious. “Alex, having been through this myself, I can spot a pregnancy at fifty paces. You, my friend, are pregnant.”

“Stop saying that!” Alex hissed, panic closing her throat. “I can’t be! I had my period...”

Rachel lifted her eyebrows, patiently waiting for an answer.

“Give me a sec, dammit! I have to think!” Alex pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and clicked on her calendar app. She always kept a record of her cycle and she’d show Rachel that she was talking out of her hat. Alex flipped through dates, didn’t see anything and flipped back a month. Oh man, there was no denying it. She was late.

“Apart from eating junk food, has anything else changed? Have you felt nauseous, tired?”

“I threw up a couple of weeks back, felt nauseous once last week and I’m tired because I’ve been organizing this damn function. I can’t be pregnant... Maybe I have a bug! It’s far too early for me to have any symptoms of pregnancy anyway.”

That was the answer, she had a bug, had picked up a virus. Phew!

“It’s not a disease, Alex,” Rachel patiently replied. “And everyone is different.”

“Oh God. Oh God.”

Rachel’s grip on her arms tightened. “Breathe, honey. Let’s think about this logically. Did Daniel use condoms? Are you on birth control?”

“You know I’ve been seeing Daniel?” Alex demanded. “Who else knows? Does Gus? Oh crap!”

“It was a guess, which you just confirmed,” Rachel replied, her voice low and smooth. “So, condoms?”

“Yes, dammit. We are responsible adults who don’t make juvenile errors.” Alex bent over, covered her face with her hands and dropped to her haunches. “But there was one time...he pulled out and then put on a condom. God! No! I can’t be pregnant, Rach. I can’t!”

“I think there’s a good possibility that you are.” Rachel ran a gentle hand over Alex’s hair. “Alex, just breathe. In and out. Good girl.”

Alex sucked in air, using every bit of self-control she had to push away the breath-stealing panic that threatened to engulf her. Still on her haunches, she placed her hand on the floor to steady herself. This couldn’t be happening to her. Why was this happening to her? She’d had a hot, passionate fling with a man she’d always been attracted to. They’d used protection... She wasn’t supposed to end up pregnant! This wasn’t how her life was supposed to go.

And in a couple of hours, she had to go onstage, act charming and auction off the father of the baby that might be growing in her womb. Noooo...

Rachel pulled her up to standing position and cupped her face, her eyes radiating support and sympathy. “Alex, there’s nothing you can do about it now. In the morning, we’ll go and buy you a pregnancy test and I’ll hold your hand while you do it. For now, try to set it aside. We have a function to host, an evening to orchestrate.”

Alex heard a couple of unladylike curses leave her lips. “I won’t be able to concentrate until I know, Rach.”

“You won’t be able to concentrate if you do,” Rachel pointed out.

“No, it’ll be better if I know. I far prefer to deal with reality than what-ifs.” Alex sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and felt the sting of tears. “I have to know, Rach.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose. “We need you here, Alex.”

Alex pushed her shoulders back and blinked away her tears. “And I will be, Rachel. I promise you, I won’t let you down. I’ll run to the superstore just out of town and I’ll use the facilities there to do the test. I’ll be back in thirty minutes, forty at max.”

Too many people had let her down, pregnant or not, so she wouldn’t do that to her best friend. She’d made a commitment to this evening and she’d honor it, baby or not. But she had to know. It was a burning compulsion, a primal need.

Rachel shrugged. “Okay.”

Alex gave her a brief hug, pulling away before she completely lost it and started to ugly cry. She handed Rachel the clipboard, and then she all but ran to the door, yanked it open and slammed into a hard wall.

Another set of hands held her biceps; this time they were far bigger and rougher than Rachel’s but oh-so familiar. Alex inhaled Daniel’s distinctive scent and lifted her eyes to his chiseled face, sweeping them over his sensual lips and meeting his dark, brooding eyes.

Then, to her mortification, she heard a suppressed sob escape and felt the trickle of tears down her cheeks. Daniel’s grip tightened on her biceps as she rested her forehead against his chest. God, she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be pregnant.

“Lex, what’s wrong?” For a moment, she wished she could lay her fears on him, allow him to enfold her into his strong arms, trust him to hold her up, have her back. But that was foolishness—she couldn’t trust anyone. There was only one person she could rely on and that was herself. After all, she couldn’t lose herself.

“I... It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

He remained silent as he lifted one hand to gently stroke her hair,

And, man, even though she knew she should pull away, she couldn’t bring herself to. Not yet. Just once, it would be nice not to have to stand alone and be strong, to allow someone else to carry some of her burden.

But that wasn’t the way she operated.

Even so, Alex relished the feel of Daniel’s hand on the back of her head, his lips against her temple. “Lex, I need to know what’s upsetting you.”

He almost sounded like he cared. But that was a lie. He loved her body, loved making love to her, but he didn’t care enough. Not to stick by her when things got tough, when she asked him to choose her. She’d made the mistake of relying on him when she was a teenager, and she knew not to do that again.

Alex shoved away from Daniel, swiped annoyed fingers across her eyes to wipe away the tears blurring her vision and sent him a hard smile. “I’ve got to go.”

“Wait! What’s wrong with you?” Daniel demanded. “Why are you crying? Dammit, Alexis, talk to me!”

She sent him a quick brittle smile. “Talking wasn’t part of the deal when we were lovers, Daniel, even less so now. If this turns out to be something you need to know, I’ll tell you, but for now, butt out! Okay?”

Alex moved away from Daniel, but she clearly heard the words he threw at her back. “You’re crying, Lex! How am I supposed to let you just walk away?”

Alex turned, walked backward and spread out her hands. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve done this, Daniel. Ten years ago, I walked away from you in tears and you let me go. Let’s repeat history, okay?”

* * *

Daniel watched Alex stride away from him, bunching his fists as he fought the urge to go after her, to shake her until she spilled her secrets. But, God, she was right. They weren’t lovers anymore and even when they were—a handful of hookups over the past two months—they hadn’t spent their time talking. That wasn’t what they’d wanted from each other...

They’d wanted sex, hot and fast and furious. They’d wanted deep kisses and gliding hands, bone-melting pleasure and mindless nights, an escape from the day-to-day world that they lived here in Royal. They’d always, even when they were kids, had the ability to separate themselves from reality, to pretend that the outside world didn’t exist. And they’d done that again, using sex as an escape, as a way to divorce themselves from their lives.

When they were entangled in one another’s arms, he wasn’t a Clayton and she wasn’t a Slade. They were just Dan and Alex, two people who’d once loved each other with all the force and fury that was only possible when you were a teenager, before life showed you the million shades of gray between black and white. He shook his head at his youthful folly; he’d been such a sap for her.

But his days of being a sap for anyone were long over.

“Are you just going to stand there, staring into space?”

Daniel looked into the room that he’d been told was where the bachelors and Tessa were supposed to wait and saw Rachel standing by the refreshment table, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

“Can you tell me what that was about?” he asked. Rachel was Alex’s best friend and the two were said to be close. But how close? Like him, Alex had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve and they rarely, if ever, had deep and meaningful conversations. Did she have those types of conversations with Rachel? Had she had them with another lover?

And why did that thought feel like the tip of a burning cigarette incinerating his stomach? He had no claim on Alex. There was nothing between them but one blissful summer long ago and some recent hot sex.

He had no claim on her. He didn’t want to have a claim on anyone and most definitely didn’t want someone to have a claim on him. With attachments came pain and he was happy with his own company, to live his life alone.

People, and their expectations and emotions, drained him.

“Is there anything you can tell me?” Daniel demanded, shoving his hands into the front pocket of his battered jeans. In an hour or two he would swap his jeans and flannel shirt for a designer tuxedo, but for now he was comfortable. With what he was wearing, at least.

“Nope,” Rachel replied, shaking her head. She lifted her clipboard. “I have a ton of work to do.”

“And that is why I’m really surprised Alex bolted out of here like her tail was on fire. With her work ethic, normally you’d have to pry her away with a crowbar.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Daniel.”

Tell me what’s going on! Tell me why Alex was crying. Tell me something, anything to help me understand. Daniel rubbed his hands over his face, before turning to head out the door. He needed a whiskey, possibly two. Anything to help him numb his worry about Alex, his annoyance that he’d agreed to be part of this dumb auction. Not to mention the vague apprehension that no one would bid on him, the bastard son of Royal’s wildest child.

God, now he sounded like a loser wallowing in self-pity. He’d brought The Silver C back from the brink of ruin, was regarded as one of the most talented young ranchers in the state. He was rich, respected. Who the hell cared that his mother was a crazy narcissist who was incapable of love and that his father had walked out on them before he was born?

“Daniel.”

He was about to step through the door when he heard Rachel speak his name. He turned around slowly and saw the anxiety in her eyes. Oh crap, this was bad. “Yeah?”

Rachel hesitated and blew air into her cheeks. “Nothing. Ignore me.”

Daniel growled his frustration and threw up his hands. “For God’s sake, Rachel! What?”

Rachel’s hands were white against her clipboard. “Tonight, later, when you run into her, just be gentle, okay?”

And what, in the name of all that was holy, did that mean?

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.