Slicing open the envelope, she’d pulled out the folded unlined discolored paper. She remembered holding it up to the light, wondering how old it was to have turned this color. The letter had been typed on what appeared to be a manual typewriter. TJ had an old heavy Royal she’d picked up and kept in her office only as decoration. She’d always been impressed that Ernest Hemingway had written on a manual typewriter, since she doubted she would be writing books if it weren’t for the ease of computers.
Dear Ms. St. Clair
I’ve never written an author before. I guess there is a first time for everything.
I recently checked out your first book from the local library. It was quite pleasurable to read. You clearly have talent. I was surprised when I started reading and couldn’t put it down. I definitely enjoyed your descriptions of Montana and the country around your “fictitious” small town.
I’m actually looking forward to your next book,
Your True Fan so far
TJ had laughed. The reader certainly hadn’t thought he or she was going to like it. It had pleased her that her True Fan had been surprised and willing to try another one of her books. Maybe next time the person would purchase one rather than wait to get it at the library.
She had looked to see if there was a name or an address. Apparently the reader didn’t require an answer. She’d tossed the letter in the trash since long ago she’d given up keeping all the fan mail. She’d thought nothing more of it.
That, she realized now, had been her first mistake. There might have been fingerprints on that first letter before things went south.
Chapter Five
“I want to read the letters you got from this so-called fan of yours,” Chloe said once they were back at the house and alone. Their sister had gone to see her fiancé, Dawson Rogers, promising to come back before all the wine was gone. “Something tells me they are much more threatening than what you told Annabelle.”
“I didn’t bring them with me,” TJ said. “I didn’t even save the first few.” But she remembered them and often saw them in her sleep, waking in a cold sweat, her heart pounding.
Dear Ms. St. Clair
I was so disappointed with your last book. To think a tree was killed to make the paper that book was printed on... You should be ashamed.
I expect each book to be better than the last. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. In my last letter, I made some suggestions as far as the plot and character development.
Clearly, you dismissed those suggestions. Maybe you think you know more about writing than I do. Since my opinion doesn’t count, you won’t be surprised to hear that I don’t trust you as a narrator.
I’m your only honest fan. If this is the way you treat a true fan, I hate to think how you treat your other readers.
You have really let me down. We might have to do something about that, don’t you think?
Your only True Fan
She’d thought that would be the last time she’d hear from that reader. She didn’t remember a suggestion for a book that True Fan had claimed to have sent her. Readers often thought she should do books about various secondary characters from her novels. One even suggested getting a woman out of the criminally insane ward of a hospital so she could find her true love. What readers didn’t seem to realize was that those decisions weren’t always up to her—even if she was inclined to do a certain character’s story.
She’d thrown True Fan’s letter away—just as she had the first one—and moved on to a letter by a woman who would love a signed book sent to her sister for her birthday. Her sister loved TJ’s books and was laid up after a car wreck. The sister’s name was Rickey. The reader had said that the sister was a huge fan.
TJ had picked up one of her books and signed it: Rickey, Happy Birthday. Hope you’re well soon, Best, TJ St. Clair.
She put it with the letter in the pile to be mailed, only vaguely remembering that it went to a post office box in Laramie, Wyoming.
After that, she’d gone back to writing her book and forgotten both letters.
That had been her second mistake, though she’d had no way of knowing it at the time. It wasn’t until she received the next letter from True Fan:
Dear TJ St. Clair
You really aren’t as bright or as talented as I first thought. Actually, I’m amazed you make any money at this. A person you don’t know from Adam tells you a hard-luck story and you send them a book? You are so gullible. But “Rickey” thanks you. Tee Hee. I’m feeling so much better and I like having a book that you touched.
Unfortunately, your books are getting worse. I didn’t think that was possible. I told you what to do, but you just keep ignoring me. Because you think you’re so much smarter than me, more talented? You keep making this mistake and we’ll see who is smarter.
Your True Fan until The End
“Believe me,” TJ told her sister now. “I’ve read them numerous times. I can’t tell if they are from a man or a woman. They could be from anyone. Anyone who owns an old manual typewriter.”
“Well, they have you running scared, so you must believe the threats are real,” her sister said.
“The last one promised that True Fan would be seeing me soon and unless I apologized for ignoring the advice the person had been giving me, I was going to die like one of the characters in my book,” TJ said. “True Fan said I could pick which character and which death and kill myself because it would be less painful than if a fan had to stop me from writing by killing me.”
Chloe shivered. “That sounds like more than a threat. The police didn’t take that seriously?”
TJ poured herself a glass of wine, her hands shaking. “Even if True Fan had said he or she was going to kill me, there is no return address. The postmarks have been from all over the country. Where would they begin looking for this person? We don’t know if it’s a man or woman. So until True Fan actually makes good on these threats...” She got to her feet. “I hate talking about this.”
“This man we saw earlier, you realize it’s a long shot that he’s the same one from New York, but I could do some checking. Annabelle said his name is Silas Walker.” She ran upstairs, returned with her laptop and began to tap on the keys.
TJ was thinking how nice it was to have an investigative reporter in the family when Chloe let out a sharp breath and looked up. “What?”
“He was one of New York’s finest, but left a year ago after being caught in some kind of internal sting investigation.”
“What kind of investigation?” TJ asked around the lump in her throat.
Chloe shook her head. “Dirty cops. He apparently was never arrested. All they said was misconduct that betrayed the public’s trust. That could be anything from lying to cheating on overtime or much worse. Here’s the kicker: he was rehired a month later but then quit.” She looked up from her computer. “This guy could be dangerous.”
“What guy could be dangerous?” Annabelle asked as she came through the front door on a gust of winter wind. TJ and Chloe shared a look. “Are you talking about the Mountain Man?”
“He’s an ex-cop who was fired at one point,” Chloe said. “I was saying he could be dangerous.”
“Why was he fired?” their sister asked as she shrugged out of her coat, hung it up and joined them. She poured herself a glass of wine. Her cheeks were already flushed. From the cold? Or from her visit with Dawson Rogers?
“Let’s not talk about this,” TJ said. “Tell us about you and Dawson.”
Annabelle shook her head. “If you really think this man is dangerous then you need to cancel your book signing tomorrow.”
“Bad idea,” Chloe said. “She’ll be perfectly safe at the gift shop with us and half the town there. This is her chance to find out if he’s this True Fan who’s been sending her the threatening letters.”
“You really think it’s him?” Annabelle asked.
“First I’m shoved from behind in front of a speeding delivery truck, he saves me, then shows up in Whitehorse and I find out that he moved here six months ago—about the same time I started getting the threatening letters. What are the chances that he’s not True Fan?” She shuddered at the memory of those blue eyes. She’d felt strangely drawn to him at the same time she’d felt afraid.
“What does she do if he does show up at the book signing tomorrow?” Annabelle demanded of Chloe. “Just ask him if he’s her True Fan?”
Chloe groaned. “She’ll play it cool. We’ll be there. If he is this crazed fan, he won’t do anything at the signing, but he might say something that gives him away. Once we know for sure then we go to the sheriff.”
“TJ play it cool?” her youngest sister said with a laugh. “No offense, but if today was any indication—”
“I can do it.” TJ nodded with more enthusiasm than she felt. She had to. This had to end because she couldn’t take anymore. If it didn’t, she feared True Fan would end it the way the letters had promised. “Maybe he won’t even show.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Chloe said. “If it’s him, he’ll want to get as close to you as he can. He’s been taunting you. Now he’ll want you to know just how close he is.”
As if TJ didn’t already know the psychology behind a person like this. She wrote about them all the time. If this man was her True Fan, he didn’t just want her to know how close he was. He wanted her to know how easy it would be for him to get to her. For the past six months, this had been leading up to the moment when she faced her killer—just like in one of her books.
Chapter Six
When TJ woke the next morning, she was shocked to see how late it was. She hurriedly showered and dressed. When she came downstairs, dressed for her signing, Annabelle handed her a cup of coffee and a donut.
She took the coffee, declined the donut and watched as Annabelle ate it.
“I love not being a model anymore,” her sister said, smiling with a little sugar glaze on her lips before she licked it away.
TJ couldn’t help smiling as well. Her sister looked great, not skinny and pale like she had when she’d been a top model. “I need to get to my signing.”
“We’re going with you,” Chloe said, coming out of the kitchen. “Are you nervous?”
What did she think? She’d never been good at book signings. Probably because she’d never wanted the attention. She’d only wanted to write the stories that were in her head. Little had she known the rest that was required of a published author. TJ knew she was naive to think that she could simply lock herself away in a room somewhere and do what she loved.
When her editor had told her that she needed to be more of a presence on social media, she’d actually thought about quitting the publishing business.
But she couldn’t quit writing. When she’d take a break, the longest she could go was three days before she started writing in her sleep. The characters would start talking and she’d have to get their stories out. She loved that part.
TJ remembered how surprised she’d been when she found out that not everyone had stories going in their heads. She’d asked the person, “Well, then what do you think about when you’re in the shower or driving?” The answer had been, “I’ve never thought about it. Something I’m sure, but not stories.”
It had also surprised her when other writers had told her that their characters didn’t talk to them. Well, hers certainly did. Soon the ones from her next book would be nagging at her to begin writing again.
“Come on,” Chloe said, “or we’re going to be late.”
TJ wished they could just get into Annabelle’s SUV—she’d traded her sports car for something more practical for Montana—and hit the road. She thought she could and not look back at this point in her life.
There was already a line at the gift shop when they arrived. TJ couldn’t help looking for the mountain man, but with a sigh of relief, she didn’t see him. Maybe after yesterday, he wouldn’t show up.
“Park in the back,” she’d instructed her sister.
“You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?” Chloe asked.
“I always do but nothing like I have right now.” They entered the back door. TJ dropped off her coat and purse in the stockroom and took a moment to compose herself. You’ve done this dozens of other times. You can do this.
But none of the other times were like this.
Stepping out of the back, she headed for the table that had been set up for her along with a chair and a huge stack of her books. The owner hustled over to see if she needed water, coffee, anything at all.
“A bottle of water would be wonderful,” TJ said, her throat already dry as she felt eyes on her from the line of people waiting a few yards away. She tried to smile as she slid into the chair and picked up one of the pens the store owner had thoughtfully left for her.
“Here’s your water,” said a familiar voice.
TJ turned to see a dark-haired woman her age. “Joyce?” She couldn’t help her surprise. She hadn’t seen Joyce Mason since high school. Joyce had been voted the girl most likely to end up behind bars. It had been a play on words, since Joyce had been wild—and also a drinker who was known to make out with guys in the alley behind the Mint Bar.
“You work here now?” TJ asked, feeling the need to say something into the silence. Joyce was thinner than in high school, but wore the same shag hairdo and pretty much the same expression, one of boredom. The only thing different was that she sported a few more tattoos.
“Does it surprise you that I read?” Joyce asked.
“No.” She let out a nervous laugh. “As a writer, I’m delighted.”
“Yes, we all know you’re a writer.” Joyce put down the bottle of water and walked off.
TJ was still reeling a little from Joyce’s attitude when she heard a squeal and looked up to see another familiar face. Dorothy “Dot” Crest came running up to her all smiles.
“I can’t believe it!” Dot cried. “I just had to say hi. I’ll get in line,” she assured the waiting crowd. “I definitely want one of your books. I’ve read them all.” She leaned closer. “They are so scary and yet I can’t put them down.” She laughed. “This is so exciting.”
With that she rushed back toward the end of the line. As she did, she said hello to people she knew. Dot knew almost everyone it seemed.
“Ready?” the owner asked, coming up to tell her again how delighted they were to have her here.
Was she ready? She felt off-balance and the signing hadn’t even begun. Normally, TJ was more organized. She’d barely remembered to grab a few bookmarks as they’d left the house. She hadn’t even thought about a pen. That showed just how nervous she was.
She smiled up at the first woman in line. She looked familiar, but for a moment TJ couldn’t come up with her name. That was the problem at book signings. The names of people she knew even really well would slip her mind.
“Just sign it to me,” a person would say.
She often used the trick, “Would you mind spelling your name for me?”
That didn’t always work. One woman who was so excited, telling everyone how long she’d known TJ, made her draw a blank. When she’d asked her to spell her name, the woman recoiled and said, “It’s Pat.”
TJ had been so embarrassed, but there hadn’t been time to explain how often her mind went blank at these events, even with the names of her closest friends. So she never saw Pat again.
Now the older woman with the dyed-brown hair standing in front of the desk said, “You probably don’t remember me.”
For a moment, TJ didn’t. She looked familiar. Really familiar, but...
“I’m not surprised given how much you didn’t pay attention in class.”
Bingo. “Of course I remember you, Mrs. Brown. I had you for English in high school.” Annabelle had told her that the woman had only recently retired after having a minor stroke. “Would you like me to sign this to you?” she asked her former teacher.
“Of course. But you probably don’t know my first name. It’s Ester.”
She signed the book, stuck in a bookmark and handed it to the older woman.
Ester Brown hesitated. “Just the other day I told my husband I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I heard you were writing books.” She hugged the book to her. “You were never at a loss for words in my class.” With that she turned and walked away.
TJ frowned. Hadn’t Annabelle told her that Mrs. Brown’s husband had died?
One after another new and old readers stepped up and TJ signed their books, visited and moved on to the next one. She was surprised how many people had turned out. But the last time she had signed a book in her hometown had been her first one years ago.
“Hi, TJ,” said one of the men from the line. She’d seen him, but hadn’t paid much attention. She was looking for the mountain man. But if Silas Walker was planning to attend the signing, he hadn’t shown so far, and another five minutes and she would be done. The line had dwindled, she realized with relief.
Her hand hurt from signing books and smiling and trying to remember faces she hadn’t seen in years.
Now as she looked at this man, his name suddenly came to her. “Tommy Harwood.”
“Tom,” he corrected. He seemed surprised that she remembered him. He’d been one of those on the fringe. He’d been an average student, an outsider. He’d been invisible—just like TJ. While her sisters had been popular, TJ was a dreamer who preferred to be off by herself with her head in a book.
Now Tommy was getting a little bald. From the jacket he was wearing, she saw that he worked at the local auto shop.
“Do you want it signed to you?” she asked as she opened a book and lifted her pen expectantly.
“Sure, as long as it’s to Tom.”
She nodded and signed To Tom, Enjoy, TJ St. Clair. It was the best she could do given that she didn’t think she’d spoken more than a dozen words to Tommy over the years. No matter what Mrs. Brown said, she wasn’t the talkative one in English class. TJ realized she must have her confused with Annabelle. Great.
“Are you in town long?” Tommy asked quietly.
“Just for the holidays.” She handed him the book.
He continued to stare at her. “You’re probably busy, but if you ever want to get a cup of coffee...”
“Thank you. That’s sounds nice. I’ll let you know.”
He nodded. “I should let you get to your other fans.”
She watched him walk away for a moment, trying to shake off the odd feeling he’d given her.
“I love your books,” a woman said as she quickly took Tommy’s place and it continued.
As the line dwindled, she began to relax. She loved her readers and was reminded of the time before her first sale. She’d been writing short stories. That’s when she’d gotten her very first fan letter. The magazine reader had said she should be writing books. She’d framed that first letter and put in on her wall. It had given her hope each time she looked at it during the writing of her first book.
She could smile at the memory. There’d been so many days when she didn’t think she could finish an entire book. It had felt overwhelming. Add to that the fear that it wasn’t good enough, that everyone would hate it, that it would be rejected.
And it was. Her first book was still in the bottom of her closet where it would remain, never to be published. But that first book had given her hope not only that she could finish a book, but also that she could write a better one.
And she had. A book a year for the past seven years, all of them published, each doing better than the last. She remembered the thrill of her fourth book making the New York Times list.
She’d heard of authors who’d treated themselves with trips to Europe or purchased new cars after making the list. She’d gone for a walk, grinning the whole way, and on impulse had treated herself to a hot fudge sundae. It was as decadent as she ever got. Restraint in everything, that was TJ St. Clair, aka Tessa Jane Clementine. Those words could have been stitched and hung on her wall.
She’d always been like that. Holding back, never letting herself go. It drove her sister Annabelle crazy.
“Don’t you ever just want to let loose? Do something crazy? Take a chance?”
“I might want to, but I don’t,” had been her answer. The truth was she’d never been brave or daring. That huge hot fudge sundae? It had made her sick and had been a good reminder of why she used restraint in all things.
No, her heroine in her books, Constance Ryan, was the one who did crazy, brave and daring things. Constance loved defying the odds. And for so long, TJ had loved writing about her—living through her.
As she finished signing a young woman’s book, TJ saw him. The mountain man, Silas Walker, had just come in the door and was headed her way.
Chapter Seven
Silas was a little concerned about what kind of reception he might get. Because of his size and the way he looked, especially during his time in Montana when he was “roughin’ it,” he tended to scare little children. Lately he’d been working undercover, so his beard was longer than usual. He’d let his hair grow as well.
But the woman who wrote these murder mysteries? Come on, TJ didn’t scare that easily, did she?
He guessed he was about to find out as he headed for the table where she had just finished signing a book. There were still several books left, he noticed with relief. He’d run late today because of the snowstorm in the mountains last night. He’d barely been able to get his pickup out. But he wasn’t about to miss purchasing a signed book from TJ St. Clair today.
When she spotted him approaching, he had to admit, she looked like a deer in headlights. It perplexed him. She couldn’t possibly have thought that he was the one who pushed her into the street yesterday. He’d been the one who’d saved her.
“Hello,” he said as he reached the table. “I can’t tell you how excited I am that I didn’t miss your signing.” His gaze locked with hers and he was shocked to see that her eyes weren’t blue, but a languid sea green that took his breath away for a moment. Her blond hair framed a face that he’d memorized, since he’d looked at the black-and-white photograph on the cover jacket so many times.
She’d intrigued him from the first time he’d picked up one of her books. He normally didn’t read thrillers. Hell, his life was one. No, he couldn’t remember what had possessed him.
He’d opened one of her books to the first page and started reading. Before he knew it, he was on page 30. By then, he was hooked and knew he wasn’t walking out of that bookstore without that book.
It wasn’t until he’d finished it that he saw TJ’s photo. He’d actually thought the book had been written by a man. He remembered smiling. He liked surprises and this woman had surprised him and intrigued him.
Now he watched her pick up one of the hardcover books at her elbow and open it with trembling fingers. That he made her nervous surprised him even given the way she’d acted yesterday. In her books, the characters were so gutsy. He liked to believe that TJ possessed—if not all of her character Constance’s gutsiness—then at least some of it. The last thing he’d expected to see in her eyes was fear.
“Who would you like me to sign it to?” she asked, her voice breaking.
He knelt down, realizing he was towering over her, although he suspected that wasn’t the problem. “Silas.” He spelled his name and watched her write it out in her neat penmanship. “I can’t tell you what a thrill this is. From the first time I picked up one of your books, I wanted to meet the woman behind them.”
He saw her pen falter on the page. Those sea green eyes came up to meet his. He smiled and saw her shiver. She quickly looked down and hurriedly signed “Enjoy” and her name. Well, not her name exactly. TJ St. Clair he’d learned was her pen name. Her legal name was Tessa Jane Clementine.
She handed him the book. “I hope you like it.” Her voice was throaty, almost a whisper.