Healing The Doctor's Heart

Cal chuckled. Jake could see the humor, but willed himself to keep his face straight.

“Other than that, how are you doing?”

“I already answered that,” Jake said.

“What about the pain in your arm? Is it any better?”

Jake didn’t want to admit that he had pain, but Lauren had helped with that.

“She’s good at massages,” Jake said.

“Massages?”

Jake heard the question in his brother’s voice. “My arm, Cal. She massages my arm. Before you left, I told you what she’d done in the restaurant. She’s been doing it here too.”

“Well, that alone is reason to let her stay. I know how much pain you were in. Is it less now?”

“Yes,” he said, not explaining the sharp decrease he’d experienced in his arm since Lauren put her magic fingers on him.

Caleb didn’t say anything for a minute. Jake could hear a muffled sound in the background.

“Sorry, Jake, I have to go now. I’ll call you again next week.”

“You don’t have to keep checking up on me,” Jake told him.

“Sure I do. We’re brothers and one day we can talk about something other than your arm. Bye.”

Jake clicked the end button. He remembered when his conversations with Cal had nothing to do with his arm. The two talked about sports, medicine, their jobs and the places in the world where Cal worked. Cal was always cautious, the planner. Being an engineer suited him, but the brothers had always been close. Jake was the daring one. Cal was more reserved, but they loved each other. They’d had the usual sibling rivalry, but Cal always supported Jake in his choices. Never did he think their conversations would be reduced to Jake’s medical needs.

At least now they had Lauren to focus on. He thought about her and how she’d helped his arm. She had the ability to make his pain go away temporarily. Cal had joked about Lauren’s massages, as if there was something between them.

Never, Jake thought.

She wasn’t his type and she talked way too much.

“Jake.”

There she was.

WALKING IN THE park was an activity Lauren looked forward to. Sometimes they talked and other times they were quiet, but the companionship between them was most evident here. They crossed the street and passed through the gates on a warm July day.

She’d been wearing a different version of the nostalgic nanny outfit for a week, thanks to Amy. Jake eyed her suspiciously. She was bound to draw attention and she wasn’t sure he was ready for that. It didn’t take long before she was surrounded by children asking who she was pretending to be. Turned out, she was ready for that as she launched into a song and dance, and pretended to pull something magical from her bag. Jake stood to the side, away from her and away from the parents and nannies overseeing the safety of their children.

They recognized that the song she sang was from the remake of the famous musical Mary Poppins, and joined in.

She waved goodbye as she rejoined Jake and the kids ran happily back to their parents.

“You’re really good with kids,” he said.

Lauren couldn’t tell Jake that the real reason why, not unless she wanted today to be the last time they saw each other.

“It’s the dress and the hat.” She glanced up, but all she saw was the brim of the straw hat that went with the costume. “They just want to be loved and happy.”

“You don’t have any problem wearing that costume out in public in July?”

Lauren checked herself. “Are you kidding? This is New York City. Other than kids, nobody notices. They probably think I’m promoting the play.” An updated version was currently on Broadway. “Is it bothering you?”

“I’m a little old to be out with my nanny.”

“Well, if anyone says anything, just point them to me. I’ll find something in my magic bag to make them go away.”

Lauren was really having fun. The costume was for Jake’s benefit, but the kids added a special touch she hadn’t counted on.

She clasped his right arm through the sling and wasn’t surprised when Jake reacted to the contact.

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying to jerk away from her.

“Nothing different. I usually take your arm when we walk.”

“You usually walk on this side.” He pointed to the ground with his left hand.

“It makes no difference,” she said innocently.

Jake’s glare told her she knew it made a difference.

“Jake, you have two arms. So why does it matter which side I walk on? Today, I choose this side.”

To drive her point home, she grasped the arm tighter. Checking that there was no sign of pain, she gripped his biceps.

“I see those exercises are working. This arm is a lot stronger,” she said, deflecting the subject.

He knew by now that she could be as stubborn as he was and it was best if he just let her have her way. He started walking. He moved fast and Lauren stumbled once before matching his stride.

“Do you think I’ll let go if you break into a run?” she asked after they’d maintained the fast walk for three minutes.

Jake stopped. “You know I can do this on my own.”

“You’ve made that very clear. I understand that you’re trying to get rid of me. Other than the arm massage, you’d like me to leave for parts unknown.”

“Exactly,” he said with a smile, only this smile wasn’t laced with humor. Bitterness might identify it, nonetheless, it was clear he wanted her gone.

“That’s it. You don’t want anyone around you. You want to wallow in sorrow and wonder why you? Why did this have to happen to you? You’re a surgeon. You fix people. So why take away the one thing that you can do?”

“Careful, Ms. Peterson. You’re skating on thin ice.”

The stare she gave Jake could melt steel. She held it for several moments, then dropped his arm and turned around before walking just as fast as he had back toward Central Park West.

It wasn’t Jake’s fault. He didn’t know about her—didn’t understand that she’d lost a child.

She reached the apartment in record time. Once in her room, she slammed the door shut and backed up against it. Seconds later, her legs gave out and she slid to the floor.

Lauren couldn’t cry. Her eyes were burning but she’d shed all the tears she had a year ago. Her body’s trembling was her only outward reaction. She didn’t know how long she sat there, her legs curled under her. When she got to her feet, they tingled with the pins-and-needles sensation from sitting in one position for too long.

Jake was wrong. No visible appendage had been taken from her. She’d given it. Free and clear. Without argument or resistance.

THE CITY WAS dark and mysterious outside those massive windows. Night had fallen, and Lauren was alone in the great room. She stared at the horizon in the distance.

Somewhere out there was both danger and adventure. Somewhere a Midwesterner got off a bus in Port Authority and marveled at the sheer number of people, like a human wave, moving through the cavernous building. Lauren had once been one of them.

Looking out the window that faced east, she thought how she loved this room, especially at this time of night. She might have to leave it soon. She and Jake had gotten too close to an argument. She shouldn’t feel as if she was forcing him to embrace life when he so clearly wanted to dive into oblivion and stay there. Didn’t he have that right?

They weren’t friends, but she felt concern for him and his future. It seemed strange for her to be so interested when they’d known each other only a short time. Yet in reality, she was a doctor and concern for her fellow man was part of her being. But Jake was more than her “fellow man.” She was falling for him.

“What are you doing?”

Lauren jumped. Jake came down the stairs, his left hand sliding along the banister for balance.

When he reached her, she forced a smile, remembering their earlier encounter in the park. He hadn’t appeared for dinner and Lauren had eaten a solitary meal that tasted like sawdust, alone. The food was fine. It was her thoughts that dulled the taste.

“I’m looking at the city.”

He glanced through the window and back at her as if there was nothing to see.

“You could smell the roses sometime,” she told him.

“We have no roses.”

Lauren cut her eyes at him and moved further back into the room. The view was the same, but she was a greater distance from Jake and determined to remain calm and in control of both her emotions and her tongue.

“You know what this room reminds me of?” she asked.

She couldn’t see Jake in the dark. He probably raised an eyebrow, but he said nothing. He often did that instead of speaking. She hadn’t been around him long enough to know if this action was related to his injury or if he’d always been like that. A third option was that he did it just to perplex her.

“A Hollywood set,” she said.

Jake made a sound that said he didn’t agree.

“I saw a movie once that had a room a lot like this one. A man sat at a piano and played a song, a love song as the screen faded to black.”

“I don’t watch love stories.”

His voice held its familiar gruffness, but Lauren had begun to ignore his tone.

“Do you play the piano?”

She was standing in front of it, a huge concert grand, the frame so shiny she could see her reflection in it on sunny days.

“Not anymore,” he said, his voice a low whisper.

“But you did before the accident?” She knew the answer to that question, but she wanted him to know that the mention of the accident was not something that needed to be hidden in a dark room.

“What about dancing?”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t play, but can you dance?”

Again, he stood as if mute.

Lauren went to the CD collection he had and selected one of them. The music wasn’t a fast, up-tempo song, but something a little slower. As it began to play, it filled the room with sound. She felt as if it came from every corner of the room.

Going to him, she offered her hand.

“You want to dance?” he asked.

“I do. You have an invitation to a ball. That implies dancing.”

“I told you I wasn’t going to that ball.”

“Going or not going doesn’t mean you can’t dance.”

She took his arm and pulled him forward, placing his hand around her waist. Gently, she began to sway. Jake remained still for a couple of seconds before something appeared to give in him and he joined her. Occasionally she’d brush his right arm as they turned about in a small circle. After a few moments, Lauren forgot about his arm. The night and music carried her. She closed her eyes and let Jake guide her.

The music stopped. Lauren felt an abruptness. She’d overstepped her bounds. She knew it because she liked being this close to Jake. The strength of his left arm as he held her was comforting and safe. She wanted to stay there longer, but the music was no longer giving her a reason to hold on to him.

“You dance very well,” she said.

“So do you. I guess you’d like to go to that ball?”

Lauren stepped back. “I’m a companion, remember. I’m not here to date you.”

“That didn’t answer my question. Would you like to go to the ball?”

Lauren didn’t know what to say. Yes was on the tip of her tongue. Yet she was unsure of how that answer would affect him.

“You already said you didn’t want to go. More emphatically, you said you would not go.”

“I’ve changed my mind. We’ll go.”

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