Plain Admirer

Joann walked on, wondering if there was a similar reason why she couldn’t obtain the prize she had been working so hard to secure. Would the outcome have been worse than what she had now? Only the Lord knew. She had to trust in His will, but it was hard to see the good through her disappointment.

After a few more minutes, she reached the buggy shop of Levi Beachy at the edge of town. She passed it every day on her way to and from work. Across the street from the shop stood the house that had almost been hers.

Sarah Wyse, a young Amish widow, had lived there until shortly after Christmas when she married Levi. For a time they had rented the house to a young Amish couple, but they had moved away a month ago and the small, two-story house was vacant again.

Vacant and waiting for someone to move in who would love and cherish it.

Joann stopped with her hands on the gate. The picket fence needed a coat of paint. She itched to take a paintbrush to it. The lawn was well-kept, but if the home belonged to her, she would plant a row of pansies below the front porch railing and add a birdhouse in the corner of the yard. She loved to watch birds. They always seemed so happy.

She would be happy, too, if all it took to build a snug home for herself was bits of straw and twigs. However, it took more. Much more.

She gazed at the windows of the upper story. She’d been a guest in Sarah’s home several times. She knew the upstairs held two bedrooms. One for her and one for visitors. Downstairs there was a cozy sitting room with a wide brick fireplace. Off the kitchen was a room just the right size to set up a quilt frame. Joann longed for a quilt frame of her own, but she didn’t have a place to keep one.

“Joann, how nice to see you,” Sarah Beachy said as she came out of the shop with her arms full of upholstery material. She did all the sewing for the business, covering the buggy seats and door panels her husband made in whatever fabric the customer ordered.

“Hello, Sarah,” Joann returned the greeting but couldn’t manage a cheerful face for her friend.

“Joann, what’s wrong?” Sarah laid her bundle on a bench outside the door and quickly crossed the narrow roadway.

Unexpected tears blurred Joann’s vision. She didn’t cry. She never cried. She rubbed the moisture away with her hands and folded her arms across her chest. “Nothing,” she said, gazing at the ground.

“Something is definitely wrong. You’re scaring me.” Sarah cupped Joann’s chin, lifting gently until Joann had no choice but to meet her gaze.

She swallowed and said, “I’ve come to tell you that you don’t have to wait until September to put your house on the market. You can do it right away.”

“You mean you’ve decided that you don’t want it?”

“I’m afraid I can’t afford it now.”

“I don’t understand. Just two weeks ago you told us you were sure you could earn the amount we agreed upon by that time.”

“I was fired today.”

“Fired? Why on earth would Otis Miller do that?”

“To give the job to someone who needs it more. He’s keeping me on as a part-time cleaning woman, and I can have my old job at the bookstore back, but I won’t earn nearly enough to pay you what you need by the end of the summer. It was really nice of you and Levi to offer to let me make payments over time, but I know how much you want to make improvements to the business before winter.”

“Levi would like to get the holes in the roof fixed and a new generator for the lathe, but I would rather see you happy. If you want, I can talk to him about giving you more time. Perhaps, instead of selling it we could rent it to you. We would both be delighted to have you as our neighbor.”

“Danki, but that isn’t fair to you. Selling your house outright makes much more sense. Besides, with only a part-time job, I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent, either. There will be another house for me when the time is right.”

She said as much, but she wasn’t sure she believed it. Her brothers didn’t feel she should live alone and they weren’t willing to cover the cost of another house. The local bank had already turned her down for a home loan. She didn’t have enough money saved to make a substantial down payment and her employment record wasn’t long enough. Only Levi and Sarah had been willing to take a chance on her.

Another home might come along in the distant future, but would it have such a sunny kitchen? Or such an ample back porch with a well-tended garden that backed up to the woods, and a fine sturdy barn for a horse and buggy? This house was perfect. It wasn’t too large or too small, and it was close to work.

To the job she didn’t have anymore. Her shoulders slumped.

“Come in and have a cup of tea,” Sarah said. “There must be something we can do. Perhaps you can find a different job.”

The wind kicked up and blew the ribbons of Joann’s white prayer kapp across her face. She glanced toward the west. “Danki, but I should get going. It looks like rain is coming this way.”

“I’ll have one of the boys hitch up the cart and drive you.”

Joann managed to smile at that. “I’m not about to get in a cart with Atlee or Moses. People still talk about how they rigged the seats to tip over backward in Daniel Hershberger’s buggy and sent him and his new wife down the street, bottoms up.”

Sarah tried not to laugh but lost the struggle. She giggled and pressed her hand to her lips. “It was funny, but my poor Levi was so upset. You will be safe with either one of the twins. Levi’s mischief-making brothers have been a changed pair since our wedding.”

“How did you manage that?”

Sarah leaned close. “I only feed them when they behave. They do like my cooking.”

Joann laughed and felt better. “Ah, Sarah, your friendship is good for my soul.”

“I cherish your friendship, as well. Who did Otis give your job to?”

“Roman Weaver. I’m to teach him everything I know about the business.”

“I see.” A thoughtful expression came over Sarah’s face. “So you will be working with Roman. Interesting.”

“Only until he has learned enough to do my job. What’s so interesting about it?”

A gleam entered Sarah’s eyes. “Roman is single. You are single.”

Joann held up her hand and shook her head. “Oh, no! Don’t start matchmaking for me. Roman doesn’t know I exist, and it wouldn’t matter if he did. I’m not the marrying kind.”

“You will be when God sends the right man your way. I’m the perfect example of that. I didn’t think I would marry again after my first husband died, but Levi changed my mind. Roman’s a nice fellow. Don’t let the disappointment of losing your job color your opinion of him.”

“I’ll try. Just promise me you won’t try any of your matchmaking tricks on me.”

“No tricks, I promise.”

After refusing a ride once more, Joann bid Sarah farewell and glanced again at the lovely little house on the edge of town before heading toward her brother’s farm two miles away. Her steps were quicker, but her heart was still heavy.

* * *

Roman left his uncle’s publishing house and stopped on the narrow sidewalk outside. The realization that he couldn’t do the job he loved left him hollow and angry.

He’d never once wanted to work anywhere except in the sawmill alongside his father. The business had been handed down in his family for generations. His mother used to say that he and his father had sawdust in their veins instead of blood. It was close to the truth. Now he was being asked to give it up. The thought was unbearable. He’d already lost so much. He tried not to be bitter, but it was hard.

He wouldn’t accept his uncle’s offer until he’d had a chance to talk things over with his father. Roman had to know if his father wished this. It hurt to think that he might. The gray clouds gathering overhead matched Roman’s mood. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“What did Onkel Otis want?” The question came from Roman’s fifteen-year-old brother, Andrew, as he approached from up the street. His arms were full of packages.

“He wanted to see how I’m getting along. Did you find all that Daed needed at the hardware store?” He held open the door so his brother could put the parcels on the backseat. The job offer was something he wanted to discuss with his father before he shared the information with Andrew.

“I checked on our order for the new bearings, but they haven’t come in yet. I have everything else on father’s list.”

When Andrew climbed in the front, Roman moved to untie his mother’s placid mare from the hitching post. Meg was slow but steady and unlike his spirited gelding, she wouldn’t bolt if he lost control of the reins. Managing his high-stepping buggy horse with one arm was just one more thing that he couldn’t do anymore.

Maybe his uncle was right. Maybe he should move aside so his father could hire a more able man. It wouldn’t be forever.

His parents and Bishop Zook had counseled him to pray for acceptance, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to do so. He was angry that God had brought him low in this manner. And for what reason? What had he done to deserve this? Nothing. He climbed awkwardly into the buggy.

“Do you want me to drive?” Andrew asked.

“Nee, I can manage.” Earlier, Roman had tied the lines together so he could slip them over his neck and shoulder as he often did when he worked behind a team in the fields. That way he couldn’t accidently drop the reins. By pulling on first one and then the other, he was able to guide Meg along the street without hitting any of the cars lining the block. Driving still made him nervous. He cringed each time an Englisch car sped by, but he was determined to return to a normal life.

Just beyond the edge of town, they passed a woman walking along the road. She carried a green-and-white quilted bag slung over her shoulder. He recognized it as the one that had been hanging from a chair in his uncle’s office. This had to be Joann Yoder. He glanced at her face as he passed her and was surprised by the look of dislike that flashed in her green eyes before she dropped her gaze.

What reason did she have to dislike him? The notion disturbed his concentration. He tried to ignore it, but he couldn’t.

Dark gray clouds moved across the sky, threatening rain at any moment. Lightning flashed in the distance. The thunder grew louder. He pulled Meg to a stop.

Andrew gave him a quizzical look. “What are you doing?”

“A good deed.” He waited.

When the woman came alongside, he touched the brim of his hat. “Would you like a lift?”

“Nee, danki,” she replied coldly as she walked past without looking at him.

He studied her straight back and determined walk. If she were this unfriendly, it wouldn’t be a joy working with her. Why was she upset with him? He’d rarely even spoken to her.

Roman looked at his brother. “What do you know about Joann Yoder?”

“What is there to know? She’s an old maedel. She does whatever old maids do. Can we get home? I have chores to do yet this evening, and I’d rather not do them in the dark.”

The road ahead was empty. The next farm was over a mile away. A few drops of rain splattered against the buggy top. Roman clicked his tongue to get Meg moving. She plodded down the road until she came even with Joann and then slowed to match the woman’s steps. They traveled that way for a few dozen yards. Finally, Joann stopped. The mare did, too.

She smiled as she patted the animal’s neck. When she turned toward Roman, her smile vanished. She kept her eyes lowered. He was surprised by a sharp desire to make her look at him again. He wanted to see if her eyes were as green as he thought.

“Did you need something?” she asked.

“Nee. We are just on our way home.”

“At a snail’s pace,” Andrew added under his breath.

Roman ignored him. “Allow us to give you a ride. We are obviously going in the same direction. It looks like rain.”

“I won’t melt.”

“But you will be uncomfortable.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Won’t your books get wet?”

She looked down at her bag and back at him. A wary expression flashed across her face. It had been a guess on his part but it appeared he was right about the contents of her bag.

As she stared at him, he saw her eyes were an unusual shade of gray-green. They seemed to shift colors according to the light or perhaps her mood. Why hadn’t he noticed that about her before now? Maybe because she was always looking down or away. A raindrop struck her cheek and slipped downward like a tear.

For a moment, she didn’t say anything, then she nodded and wiped her face. “A lift would be most welcome.”

“Goot. Where can we take you?” He was ashamed to admit he didn’t know where she lived.

“I’m staying with my brother, Hebron Yoder. His farm is just beyond the second hill up ahead.”

“We don’t go that far,” Andrew said under his breath.

“It won’t hurt us to go a little out of our way.” Roman ignored Andrew’s put-upon sigh and waited as Joann rounded the buggy and opened the door on the passenger’s side. Maybe he could find out why she disliked him.

* * *

Joann wasn’t sure what to make of Roman’s unusually kind gesture. He’d passed her dozens of times when she was walking along this road without offering her a lift. What was different about today? Did he know she was being fired in order to give him a job? She didn’t believe Otis would share that information, but perhaps he had.

Was Roman feeling guilty? If so, then it was up to her to grant forgiveness and get their working relationship off to a good start.

She leaned forward to look around his brother, determined to overcome the shyness that had gotten ahold of her tongue. “Congratulations on your new position.”

“What new position?” Andrew demanded.

She caught the annoyed glance Roman flashed at her. She sat back and looked straight ahead. So much for a good start.

“Onkel Otis offered me a job at his publishing office,” Roman admitted reluctantly.

“Why?” Andrew looked incredulous.

Roman didn’t reply. Joann immediately felt sorry for him. The answer was so obvious.

The reason finally dawned on Andrew. “Oh, because of your arm. You didn’t take it, did you?”

Joann hadn’t considered that possibility. Hope sprang to life in her heart. Was her job safe after all? She waited anxiously for his reply.

“I’m considering it,” he said.

Considering meant he hadn’t said yes. Was there some way she could convince him to turn down the offer? She had to try. “I’m sure the job wouldn’t be to your liking.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

She racked her mind for a reason. “The work is mostly indoors.”

“Not working in the hot sun this summer sounds nice.”

She chewed the corner of her lip as she tried to think of another reason he wouldn’t want the best job in the world. “It’s very noisy when the presses are running.”

“I seriously doubt it’s noisier than a sawmill.” His amusement brought a flush of heat to her face. How silly of her.

All that was left was the truth. She took a deep breath. “It requires hours of reading, excellent comprehension and a firm grasp of writing mechanics as well as an inquisitive mind,” she said.

He pulled the mare to a halt and turned to face her. Andrew looked from his brother to Joann and then leaned back out of their way. Roman’s brow held a thunderous expression that rivaled the approaching storm. “You don’t think I possess those skills?”

She swallowed hard. The truth was the truth. Just because he was upset was no reason to change tactics now. Her chin came up. “I doubt that you do.”

“Is that so?”

Joann was tempted to tell him his uncle only offered the job out of pity, but she wisely held her tongue. Nothing good could come from speaking out of spite. She tried to match his stare, but her courage failed. She dropped her gaze to her clenched hands. Why had she started this conversation? It was up to God to decide which one of them was best suited for the job.

In the growing silence, she chanced a glance at Roman’s face. His dark expression lightened. Suddenly, he burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Andrew asked.

“She’s right. I’m not a fellow who enjoys reading or writing.”

Joann’s hopes rose. “So you don’t intend to take the job?”

Roman slapped the reins to get the horse moving. “We’ll see. I can learn a new thing if I set my mind to it. Do you always speak so frankly, Joann Yoder?”

Embarrassed, she muttered, “I try not to.”

“And why is that?” he asked.

Did he care, or was he trying to make her feel worse? She repeated the phrase her brothers often quoted. “Silence is more attractive than chatter in a woman.”

“Says who?” he asked.

“A lot of people.”

He wasn’t satisfied with her vague answer. “Who, specifically?”

“My brothers,” she admitted.

Andrew nodded sagely. “I have to agree.”

“I think it depends on the woman,” Roman replied.

She glanced at him and thought she caught a glimpse of humor shimmering in his eyes, but she couldn’t be sure. Was he laughing at her? Most likely he was. He held her gaze for a long moment before staring ahead again.

Raindrops began splattering against the windshield and roof of the buggy. Joann was every bit as uncomfortable inside as she would’ve been out in the rain but for a very different reason. Being near Roman made her feel fidgety and on edge, as if something important were about to happen. Thunder cracked overhead and she jumped.

“How long have you worked for our uncle?” Roman asked, looking up at the sky.

“About five months.”

“He said that you’ll be my teacher if I take the job.”

“That’s what he told me, too.”

“What kind of things would you teach me?”

Andrew interrupted. “I don’t know why you’re considering it. Daed and I need your help in the sawmill. We can’t do it all alone.”

“I didn’t say I was taking it, but I need to know enough to make an informed decision. What things would I have to learn?”

“Many things, like how to set type and run the presses and how to use the binding machines. Eventually, you will have to write articles for the magazine. Many people send us stories to be printed. You’ll have to learn how to check any facts that they contain. We don’t want to hand out the wrong advice.”

“Give me an example.”

She thought a moment, and then said, “People send in home remedies for us to publish in our magazine all the time. Sometimes they are helpful, but sometimes they can be harmful to the wrong person, such as a child. When in doubt, we check with Dr. White or Dr. Zook at the Hope Springs Clinic.”

He glanced her way. “Have you written any articles?”

“A few.”

“What were they about?”

“I wrote a piece about our history in Hope Springs. I’ve submitted several tips for the Homemaker Hints section that were published. I’ve even done a number of poems.”

“Interesting. What else would my job entail?”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “I can just see you writing homemaker tips and poetry, bruder.”

Roman paused a moment, then said, “Roses are red, violets are blue, pine is the cheapest wood, oak is straight and true.”

Roman chuckled and smiled at his brother. Andrew grinned and said, “That’s not bad. Maybe uncle will use it.”

The affection between the two brothers was evident. Joann wished for a moment that she could joke and laugh with her brothers that way. They were all much older than she was. She had come along as a surprise late in her parents’ lives. Hebron, the youngest of her brothers, had been fifteen when she was born. They were all married and starting their own families by the time she went to school. Her brothers pretty much ignored her while she was growing up. It was only after their parents died that they decided they knew what was best for her.

Roman clicked his tongue to get Meg to pick up the pace. “Tell me what else I would have to learn.”

“You would have to proofread the articles that Otis writes or that others send in to be published. You’ll have to attend special meetings in the community in order to report on them, such as the town council meetings and school board meetings. We report the news weekly as well as publish a monthly magazine.”

“Sounds like a piece of cake.”

“Do you think so?” If he didn’t value what they did, how could he do the job well?

When he didn’t say more, she leaned forward to glance at him. His face held a pensive look. Was he thinking about taking the job or rejecting it? If only she could tell.

Finally, her brother’s lane came into view. By the time they reached the turnoff, the rain had slowed to a few sprinkles. “I’ll get out here,” she said. “Thanks for the lift.”

Roman stopped the buggy. Joann bolted out the door into the gentle rain and hurried toward the house. Once she gained the cover of the front porch, she watched as he turned the buggy around and drove away. At least she could draw a full breath now that she wasn’t shut in with him.

What was it about being near him that set her nerves on edge? And how would she be able to work with him day in and day out if he did take the job?

“Please, Lord, let him say no.”

Chapter Three

Roman sat at the kitchen table that evening with his parents after supper was done. His conversation with green-eyed Joann earlier that day hadn’t helped him come to a decision. He wasn’t sure what to do. What would be best for him? What would be best for his family?

Although he lived in the dawdy-haus, a small home built next to his parent’s home for his grandparents before their passing, he normally took his meals with his family. He waited until his younger brother left the kitchen and his mother was busy at the sink before he cleared his throat and said, “Daed, I need to speak to you.”

“So speak,” his father replied and took another sip of the black coffee in his cup. Menlo Weaver was a man of few words. Roman’s mother, Marie Rose, turned away from the sink, dried her hands on a dish towel and joined them at the table. Roman realized as he gazed at her worried face that she had aged in the past months, and he knew he was the reason why.

He took a sip of his own strong, dark coffee. “I spoke with Onkel Otis today,” he said.

“And?” his mother prompted.

“He offered me a job.”

There was no mistaking his father’s surprise. Menlo glanced at his wife. She kept her gaze down. Roman knew then that it hadn’t been his father’s idea. That eased some of his pain. At least his father wasn’t pushing to be rid of him.

As always, Menlo spoke slowly, weighing his words carefully. “What was your answer, sohn?”

Roman knew his father well. He read the inner struggle going on behind his father’s eyes. Menlo didn’t want his son to accept the job, but he also wanted what was best for Roman. “I told him I’d think it over.”

His mother folded her dish towel on her lap, smoothing each edge repeatedly. “And have you?”

“Of course he’s not going to take it,” Menlo said.

Roman knew then that he had little choice. His father would keep him on, but the cost to the business would slowly sink it. If Roman had an outside job and brought in additional money for the family, they could afford to hire a strong fellow with two good arms to take his place and make the sawmill profitable again.

He looked his father square in the eye. “I’ve decided to accept his offer. I hope you understand.”

Menlo frowned. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Roman didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

“You’ll come back to work with me when your arm is better, ja?”

Roman smiled to reassure him. “Ja, Papa, when my arm gets better.”

Menlo nodded. “Then I pray it is a good decision and that you will be healed and working beside me soon.”

Roman broached the subject weighing heavily on his mind. “You will have to hire someone to take my place. Andrew and you can’t do it all alone.”