Principles And Pleasures

“Just do it,” another advised her. “Don’t be so picky. Men are going to start thinking there’s something wrong with you.”

But Meredith wanted her first time to be perfect. She wanted her first lover to be kind and considerate. Skilled and confident.

Finally, as she’d entered her senior year of college, Meredith had become tired of waiting. If she was ever going to lose her virginity, she was going to have to take action herself. But there was only one man with whom she wanted to make love.

Josh.

She’d spent months planning a seduction. She’d tried to make herself into the kind of woman Josh might find attractive. She’d gotten contact lenses, lost weight, had a professional makeover. And she’d made a plan. Over Thanksgiving break she would hire Josh to take her to the top of Bear Mountain. A one-day trip, she knew there was a halfway house that was stocked with supplies for skiers stuck on the mountain. She would feign a sprained ankle, forcing them to stop at the cabin.

Everything had gone flawlessly.

Meredith had lost her virginity in a romantic, memorable night of passion. Although it had been everything Meredith had dreamed, she had not been happy.

In fact, the morning after, when she’d awakened wrapped in Josh’s strong arms, she’d been overcome with remorse. What had she done? She’d tried to turn herself into someone that she was not, only to bed a man who would never be hers. Angry with herself, she’d promised she would never again compromise herself for another man.

And so she had gone to the opposite extreme. She no longer bothered putting on flirtatious airs or worrying about makeup or hair. She was who she was. A corporate executive.

Meredith went through the back of the house, trying to avoid the crowd. She grabbed the big, thick, down coat that her sister said made her look like a stuffed Eskimo, put on her warm snow boots and stepped outside.

Meredith spent most of her time in Denver, where Cartwright Enterprises had their corporate offices. But nights like this made her miss Aspen. It was a beautiful evening. The air was cold and clean, the sky lit by thousands of sparkling stars. She glanced across the yard, toward the gazebo, which was lit by tiny white lights. She could see Josh standing, his hands in his pockets, waiting.

She swallowed. Make it quick, she told herself. Just tell him that Carly can’t make it and be on your way. You don’t have to make conversation. You don’t have to stay and talk…

“Meredith?” Josh smiled as he stepped closer. “This is a surprise.”

Meredith stopped outside the gazebo and said, “Carly couldn’t make it.”

“Oh?”

“She’s sick. Too much…” She paused. It was not Josh’s business why her sister was ill. “Food poisoning.”

“Oh,” he said. “I hope it wasn’t the crab dip. I helped myself to that, too.”

“No,” she said. She stood there, her feet rooted to the ground.

“So,” Josh said. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yep,” she replied. Yep? She had commandeered the takeover of corporations. So why was she acting like a naive little schoolgirl who didn’t know how to speak?

She thought she saw a twinkle in his eye. A smile crept up the corners of his lips as he said, “How are you, Princess?”

It was a voice that could melt butter. Normally, Meredith bristled whenever anyone referred to her in a chauvinistic manner. No one she knew would have ever dared call her “Princess.” But then again, no one called her “dear,” “sweetheart” or “baby,” either. Pet names were too informal for a woman like Meredith.

“Good,” Meredith said. She patted the front of her coat, a nervous habit. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” he said. “Great. And you?”

This was disastrous. Meredith had never developed the skills of making small talk. If it wasn’t related to business, she was as awkward as the girl she once was. “Wonderful, thank you.”

“You look great,” he said.

Once again she could feel the blush burn her cheeks. So she asked, “Why are you here?”

“Carly asked me to meet her here.”

“No. I mean, why are you back in town? I’d heard you were in Europe.”

Josh sat on the bench that ran around the inside of the gazebo. “And I heard you were the head of Cartwright Enterprises.”

Meredith looked into his deep gray eyes and was immediately transported down memory lane. He was once again the boy who had touched her so knowingly, once again the man to whom she had given her virginity. Their one night alone had made her think that sex was a magnificent, ground-shaking experience. How wrong she had been. The few kisses she had received since then had been awkward and wet.

“Yes,” she said.

She had heard from him several times after their night together, but had been too embarrassed to respond. She’d known the deal before she’d slept with him. Josh Adams was not a one-woman man.

“How are things going for you?” he asked in the same sexy voice.

“Good,” she said. “Great.” It was a lie and anyone but Josh would know it. Everyone had heard the story: Cartwright Enterprises, once one of the most influential conglomerates in the world, was fighting for survival. If it wasn’t for Durasnow, she would have been anticipating filing bankruptcy papers.

“Really,” he said, raising his eyebrows. She couldn’t tell if he was questioning her or if he was just making conversation.

“So,” she said. She entered the gazebo, moving a little closer. “Sounds like fun. Living in Europe and all.”

“I guess,” he said. “I still miss some of the people from around here.”

Like Carly? “Surely you’ve made other connections by now,” she said, touching her index finger to her pounding forehead. “Are you married?”

He laughed. “No.”

“Is that funny?”

He hesitated for a moment, looking at her. “Still the same Meredith,” he said. She doubted he meant it as a compliment.

She clasped her hands in front of her. No, she thought. Looks too awkward. She unclasped her hands. She stood still, her hands stiff at her sides.

He smiled again. “What about you?”

She shook her head. Hands beside me, hands beside me… Why did he keep looking at her like that? She cleared her throat. “I heard you were working at a ski resort in Switzerland.”

“More or less,” he said.

More or less. She wouldn’t have expected him to maintain a full-time job. She knew his type. Play by day and by night. She guessed he was still keeping the same hours he’d kept in Colorado. Saving his energy for his women. Only now Josh was probably dating women half his age.

He said, “I’m flattered you kept tabs on me.”

Meredith felt as if she was being baited. “I wasn’t keeping tabs,” she replied. “I must’ve heard Carly mention it.”

He nodded toward the bench. “Have a seat,” he said. “I’d like to talk to you.”

But she didn’t move. She’d had enough small talk. “You never said what brought you back to Aspen.”

“Business.”

What kind of business would a ski instructor have? But still, that did not mean he had returned for Carly. In fact, the idea of Josh Adams returning to confess his love for Carly was preposterous. He and Carly had been friends, nothing more. What would inspire him to come back…

“Meredith?” He was looking at her curiously. “Are you all right?”

She had to laugh. Josh would, too, if he knew what she and her mother had been thinking. “This is going to sound ridiculous, but I thought for a moment that your reason for returning might have something to do with Carly.”

Josh wasn’t smiling. “It does.”

Meredith felt a lump lodge in her throat. It was not jealousy, she told herself quickly. She could not be jealous that Josh had come back for her sister and not her. After all, he and Carly were friends. She and Josh were…well, they were nothing.

“She’s getting married, you know,” she said.

“Yes,” he said. “I know.” His face darkened. He met her gaze directly, as if daring her. “I wanted to…”

But Meredith didn’t let him finish. She read his reaction as confirmation of her fears. “Leave her alone,” she blurted.

“What?”

“She’s happy. You’ll just confuse her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stood and walked toward her.

She held his eyes. “I think you do.” She could see the muscles in his jaw tighten. She knew she was making him angry but she couldn’t stop herself.

Meredith stepped back. “Do you want money? Is that it?”

“Is that what you think?” He stepped closer to her. So close, he was almost touching her. His eyes glared at her, burning a hole.

“Because she’s not quite the heiress these days. In fact, if she doesn’t get married, she may not have any money at all.”

“I see,” he said.

Meredith was no longer the naive little schoolgirl. She was once again the head of Cartwright Enterprises. Past history aside, she was not about to let some playboy ruin her future. “So we understand each other?” she said to Josh.

“I understand you perfectly, yes. You’re saying that Carly has to marry to save your ass.”

“I beg your pardon?”

He glanced toward the house. His breath was white in the frosty air. “I’m touched by how important your sister’s happiness is to you.”

His words hung in the air. He was being sarcastic.

“She loves Mark.”

“So what are you so worried about? Surely she has some time for an old friend,” he said.

“Because she’s…she’s Carly. And Mark may not be so understanding.”

“It sounds like perhaps they shouldn’t be getting married.”

“I’m asking you as a…as a friend. Please go.”

“I’m sorry, Meredith. As a friend,” he said, as if he found the word distasteful, “I can’t do that.”

This was the man she dreamed about? The one with whom she compared all others? “I’m sorry, too,” she said. She spun on her heels and began to walk away.

“Meredith,” said Josh.

She stopped. But she did not turn around.

“Please tell Carly I’ll see her tomorrow.”

She stood still for a moment and then walked slowly back to the house, her head held high.

How dare she?

Josh sat on the bench, taking a few moments to compose himself. He had heard the rumors. Meredith Cartwright was so desperate to save her company that she had sold her sister. And, unfortunately, it appeared to be true. Meredith wanted Carly to marry Mark Duran so that she could get her hands on Durasnow.

And she thought that he, Josh, might interrupt the deal. She was right, of course. But he had not come back to steal Carly. He had done something much worse.

He had returned for Durasnow.

He had wanted Durasnow for years—he’d been the first to express an interest. But once Carly and Mark became engaged, the Durans had informed him that they’d felt obligated to entertain bids from Cartwright Enterprises. When Josh had read that Meredith had publicly declared her intention to buy Durasnow, he’d known the Durans had been less than honest. The writing was on the wall: the Durans would play Josh against Meredith, bidding up the price. In the end, neither would win. So Josh had come back to broker a deal. Perhaps he and Meredith could join forces and buy Durasnow together.

But Meredith was right in a way. He had come tonight because he’d wanted to see Carly. After all, he had not spoken with Meredith since their night together. He had tried to contact her several times but she’d never returned his phone calls. But her reputation was well-known. She was a stubbornly independent woman. So he had hoped that perhaps Carly might act as go-between, brokering a deal between Europrize and Cartwright.

Meredith, obviously, had no idea who he was. She assumed he was still the same playboy that had left Aspen.

The mere thought of his former lifestyle was enough to put a smile on his face. How things had changed.

It had not been an easy transition. Shortly after his night with Meredith, his aunt died. He had been surprised to learn that she, a waitress of seemingly meager means, had managed to save fifty thousand dollars. The instructions she’d left in her will had been simple. Make me proud. His friends had encouraged him to use the money for travel, to continue his life uninterrupted. But he’d had no intention of frivolously spending the money for which his aunt had worked.

His aunt had given him a new chance at life, a chance to remake himself. And he preferred not to have any reminders of the boy he once was.

Not that his life growing up had been all bad. Without the experience he’d gained, he never would have started his business. He knew his old friends had been surprised to learn that he’d been able to utilize the skills he’d learned in his former life and turn them into a multi-million dollar business that had made him one of the richest men in Europe.

His company, Europrize, had developed several interactive video games that had been sold to a major technology company, leaving him with more than enough money to buy out the richest men in Aspen. But he was just getting started. His newest venture, buying and renovating ski resorts, was already bringing in revenues. But their earning capability was limited to the season. If he could stretch out the season a month or so on each side, especially if his was the only ski resort open, the business would boom.

Which is why he wanted Durasnow. He had been following the Duran company for a while, his eye on their product. He’d approached them about buying the rights and they had seemed interested. But Wayne Duran reminded him of many of the men he had known from Aspen. A seemingly friendly but ultimately untrustworthy guy. Although Josh had been promised the rights, he’d had nothing in writing. He hadn’t been surprised to learn that a major conglomerate had suddenly gotten involved.

But he had been surprised to learn it was Cartwright Enterprises. It seemed odd to be up against a family he had known for years. He and Carly had once been good friends, but through the years they had lost touch, corresponding less and less. And Meredith…he had not spoken with her since their night together.

His fingers tightened around the edge of the bench as he thought of her. Meredith had not been like the other women in Aspen. She’d been quiet and intellectual, a girl who seemed to always have her nose in a book. Whereas Carly had been with a different boy each week, Meredith had never seemed to go out at all.

Most of the girls had just ignored her and the guys hadn’t been much better. But they were not just being cruel. Meredith had a way of speaking to people that was extremely off-putting. She’d handled her peers as if she were a queen dealing with mere commoners. Her behavior had become a running joke between his friends, who had dubbed her “Princess,” short for Ice Princess. It wasn’t that she was a typical snob, thinking that she was better than everyone else because of her family money. Not at all. Meredith, with her mismatched outfits and tights with holes, cared little about money. Meredith was an intellectual snob.

She’d always been the smartest person in the room, and she’d known it. Still, there was something about her he’d found appealing. He realized later that in an odd way he related to Meredith. Meredith had suffered the loss of a parent and had had a troubled relationship with the man who had taken her father’s place. Josh’s own family history was similar. His mother had died when he was young and his father had married a girl just out of high school when Josh was eleven. He had not gotten along with his young stepmother. His father later divorced her and married another—a woman who was even worse than the first. The situation had gotten so bad that Josh had moved in with his mother’s sister.

Although he’d enjoyed living with his aunt, she’d never really been his parent. In a town where family and money determined one’s success, Josh had had neither. He may not have looked the outcast that Meredith was, but inside, he’d felt like her.

One night he’d attended a party and stumbled upon Meredith sequestered in the library. She’d been sitting at a desk, reading intently. She’d removed her thick-lensed glasses, and her long, curly hair—usually pulled tightly back—had been loose around her shoulders. In that moment he’d thought her the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She had looked up at him and smiled, a rare thing for Meredith. Encouraged, he’d struck up a conversation. It was as if she was a different person. They’d spoken for hours, rambling about everything from Thoreau to the state of the ski slopes. He’d felt a connection between them, an understanding.

But he’d been called away by friends and, although Meredith had promised to wait for him, she had gone by the time he returned. Afterward, he’d thought of little else: the feeling of excitement, the anticipation he’d felt at seeing her again. The next day he’d arrived at the lodge early, fully aware that Meredith was to be his student in a trek down Lost Mountain. But his anticipation was for naught. When Meredith arrived, her figure hidden beneath layers of clothing, her beautiful eyes once again covered by her thick, tinted lenses she’d acted as if nothing had changed. Whatever spell had possessed her the previous evening had been broken. She’d obviously had no interest in him.

He’d attempted to put her out of his mind and, for the most part, was successful. Sure, he’d feel a mild sting of curiosity—a what-if?—whenever her name was mentioned, but that was all. Life went on.

During the next five years, he interacted with Meredith briefly, with nothing really happening. Then things changed one Thanksgiving weekend when Meredith returned from her expensive Eastern college looking as though she’d enrolled in beauty school. His friends, most of whom had never even noticed her before, had suddenly taken an interest in her. But Meredith had had her sights set on him.

She’d hired him for a private lesson. She’d chosen Bear Mountain, one of the most difficult courses in Aspen. Accessible only by helicopter, it was a private and expensive run. It was so difficult that the owners kept a stocked halfway house for those who were either too tired to make it down the mountain or got caught in one of the blizzard-like snowstorms that engulfed it several times a week.

He had given Meredith private lessons before, but none that had required packing an overnight bag. And although Josh had found himself in sticky situations before with amorous female students, he’d never suspected Meredith’s intentions.

Not even when she’d hurt her ankle and insisted on going to the cabin. Although he’d known her injury was not severe, he’d been more than happy to acquiesce. He’d helped her back to the cabin, relishing the feel of her as she’d leaned against him. When she’d told him to wait before calling for assistance, he still hadn’t suspected anything untoward. Because by then, he’d been so smitten with her that he’d been barely able to think.

Sitting across from her in that cabin, he’d been tongue-tied. He’d realized that he’d had nothing to say to a woman like Meredith, so educated and intelligent. And for the first time in his life, he’d cared.

Fortunately, Meredith hadn’t seemed to mind. She’d appeared relaxed and at ease, seemingly metamorphosing into a completely different, warm and flirtatious person. He’d lost track of time and, before he’d realized, it had been too late to call for help. They’d had no choice but to spend the night in the cabin on the mountain. As he’d watched Meredith limp around the room, he’d realized that she had switched legs, that she’d been faking her sprain. For whatever reason, she had wanted to be alone with him as much as he had wanted to be with her.

And when Meredith had moved to sit beside him, he hadn’t hesitated. He’d done what he had wanted to do since that night in the library. He’d kissed her.

She’d been a surprising lover. Passionate and daring, wildly responsive. So much so that, until he’d entered her, it had never occurred to him that she’d be a virgin. He had pulled out immediately, afraid of hurting her. But she had insisted and he had continued, albeit at a more gentle pace.

Knowing that he’d been the first to touch her had only increased his desire. He’d wanted to consume her, to keep her beside him always. He’d wanted her to be his and his alone forever.

But when the dawn broke, the feelings that had engulfed him had been replaced by more familiar ones. A dull, throbbing discomfort, a reminder of a need to be alone. A desire to stay single and unattached.

Fortunately, Meredith’s ankle had miraculously healed. After an awkward morning with stilted, uneven spurts of conversation, they’d skied down the mountain in silence. When they’d parted at the lodge, he’d made the promise he made to every woman who shared his bed. I’ll call you.

It had taken him several days, but he had called and been somewhat annoyed when she hadn’t called him back. In fact, he’d begun to feel desperate when she hadn’t returned any of his calls over the next several days. Suddenly, he no longer cared if he spoke with her again and it hurt him that she hadn’t felt the same.

The truth had been bitter and unavoidable. “She thinks she’s too good for me,” he had told his aunt a week later.

His aunt had not beaten around the bush. “She is.”

As hard as it was to hear those words, he’d known his aunt had been right. How could he even have hoped to woo someone like Meredith? He’d been an uneducated playboy, a man whose only interests were skiing and women.

“At least, right now,” his aunt had added. “But who knows what the future holds. Perhaps you will prove her wrong.”

His encounter with Meredith became a turning point in his life. For the first time he’d started to think about the boy he was and the man he wanted to be. When his aunt had died and left him the money, she’d given him the means. He’d always had the will.

He had often thought about seeing Meredith again and wondered what it might be like. He had to admit, laying eyes on her tonight, after all these years, had taken his breath away. When he’d last seen her, she’d still been a girl about to come into her own. She was now a woman, poised and confident, radiantly beautiful. But from what he had heard, looks were deceiving. Meredith had a reputation as one of the most ruthless chief executives in the business.

So ruthless that she was willing to trade her sister’s happiness for artificial snow. Although he had a hard time believing that Carly would let herself be manipulated like that, he still found the entire deal suspicious. He did not trust the Durans and had no intention of getting into a secret bidding war with Meredith. He had been involved in those before and had found himself the victim of the winner’s curse more than once. The price would become so inflated, the final tally seldom reflected the true value. But from what he had seen tonight, Meredith Cartwright was not a woman who would listen to reason.

So he would continue on his course and attempt to reach Meredith through Carly. Although she was not as brilliant as Meredith, she was still an astute and energetic individual. He would try to win Carly over by explaining the situation and having her act as an intermediary with her sister. He would also make it clear to Carly that she did not have to marry Mark for Cartwright to win the rights. If only Meredith would agree, they could share the company.

Once again he thought about how Meredith had offered him money to leave Carly alone. What would make her think he had come back to woo a woman with whom he had not spoken in years? Besides, he had never been romantically interested in Carly. She was and always would be, in his eyes at least, a less impressive version of her older sister. He would never be able to look at Carly without remembering the night Meredith had finally quenched his thirst.

He stood and began to pace. He would not go back to the party. But he would return tomorrow. Meredith could not intimidate or manipulate him. She may not realize it yet, but she had met her match in Josh Adams.