Big Girls Don't Cry

Praise for Brenda Novak

“Novak perfectly captures the feel of small-town life, and her powerful story of two lonely, fragile people who find another chance at love is a sweetly satisfying and richly rewarding romance.”

—Booklist on Stranger in Town

“This story should appeal to readers who like their romances with a sophisticated touch.”

—Library Journal on Snow Baby

“A one-sitting read! Kudos to Brenda Novak for an insightful and emotional story that tore at my heartstrings.”

—The Best Reviews on A Baby of Her Own

“Once again, Brenda Novak delivers a stunningly magical performance.”

—Wordweaving on A Family of Her Own

“Novak’s story is richly dramatic, with a stark setting that distinguishes it nicely from the lusher world of other romances.”

—Publishers Weekly on Taking the Heat

“Readers will be quickly drawn in to this well-written, multi-faceted story that is an engrossing, compelling read.”

—Library Journal on Taking the Heat

“Cold Feet left me breathless. Any book by Brenda Novak is a must-buy for me.”

—Reader to Reader Reviews

“Brenda Novak spins a taut, spine-tingling story with imagery so vivid it leaves you breathless.”

—New York Times bestselling author Christine Feehan on Every Waking Moment (HQN Books)

Dear Reader,

Little did I know when I set out to write this story that I was plunging myself into such a complex situation. But then, I must like getting in over my head. Those of you who’ve read my other stories can probably attest to the fact that they occasionally stretch the boundaries of series romance. Anyway, poor Reenie has her hands full in this book—but don’t worry, I manage to make it up to her in the end. Not everyone deserves a guy like Isaac.

Of all the books I’ve written, I have to admit that I’m probably most curious about reader response to this one. I wonder what people will think of Keith—crucify him or forgive him? And Elizabeth—does she deserve her own happily ever after? Then there’s the old conflict between Gabe and the half sister he never knew….

I always enjoy returning to Dundee. I hope this has become a comfortable place for you, too…a bit like returning home.

If you have access to a computer, don’t forget to visit my Web site at www.brendanovak.com and enter my Contest Bonanza, where you can win one of several fabulous prizes, including autographed books, See’s Candies, Waldenbooks gift certificates, dinners at Chili’s Bar & Grill—and a $500 shopping spree at the store of winner’s choice! Also, I love to hear from readers, so feel free to e-mail me from my Web site or write to me at P.O. Box 3781, Citrus Heights, CA 95611.

Until next time,

Brenda Novak

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Big Girls Don’t Cry

Brenda Novak

To my editor, Paula Eykelhof, who has been instrumental

in making the Harlequin Superromance line what it is today.

I’m sure I speak for all the authors you’ve worked with over

the years when I thank you for your willingness to take a

few calculated risks, for your commitment to good quality

writing and meaningful stories, and for being such a pleasure

to know. On a more personal note, I can’t tell you how

much I appreciate the confidence you’ve had in me and the

support you’ve given me. We’ve already done nineteen books

together, but I’m looking forward to at least twenty more!

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER ONE

Los Angeles, California

KEITH O’CONNELL WAS LYING. Isaac Russell could tell.

Surprised, he slowly lowered his fork while studying his brother-in-law’s face. Keith wouldn’t meet Isaac’s eyes. He wouldn’t look at Elizabeth, either. And there were other signs. The way he hunched his shoulders and kept fidgeting with his hands, constantly moving through the stack of mail near the telephone as if he hadn’t gone through it twice already. The slowness of his responses. Even the irritation in Keith’s bearing bothered Isaac, because it indicated that he didn’t like being questioned.

And yet the subject was so innocuous….

“From the sound of it, the accident was horrendous.” Elizabeth seemed oblivious to her husband’s discomfort as she added another pancake to Isaac’s plate. “I was surprised that you didn’t mention it.”

Isaac was too full to eat any more, but he said nothing. He waited for Keith’s answer, hoping that he was somehow misinterpreting his brother-in-law’s body language.

“What?” Keith finally glanced up as though he’d lost track of the conversation in his preoccupation with the mail. But it was obvious—at least to Isaac—that every word had registered.

“That forty-five-car pileup in Sacramento,” Elizabeth responded. “You never said a word about it.”

“Oh…well, they had it mostly cleared away by the time I came through,” he said, his voice low and noncommittal.

Isaac saw the confusion in Elizabeth’s hazel eyes. Carrying her own plate to the table, she scowled at her husband. “But the paper said it took the better part of a day before they could open the freeway. How did you get through? Traffic was stopped for miles. I saw a picture.”

Another strained silence, then he muttered, “It must’ve happened before I got there, honey.”

Isaac was tempted to look away to avoid what he was seeing. If his sister was having problems in her marriage, he didn’t want to know. He wanted to continue to believe she’d met the man of her dreams and would live happily ever after.

But he couldn’t ignore the warning signs. Elizabeth was his only sibling. He’d taken care of her through the dark years after their mother had died, when he was fourteen and she was eleven. They’d gone to live with their father and Luanna, the woman he’d married, and Luanna’s son, Marty, who was younger and far more spoiled than they’d been. Isaac was the one who’d hurt for Elizabeth when the other girls made fun of her long, spindly legs and uncoordinated movements. He was the one who’d bought her tampons when she started her period and tried to explain how to use them. He was the one who’d gotten her a date for her sophomore homecoming dance. The following year, once she turned sixteen and lost that coltish look, he didn’t have to worry about twisting anyone’s arm to generate male interest. The boys were standing in line by then. But that only meant he’d had to watch out for her in a whole new way.

He’d always tried to protect her because of the fragility engendered by their childhood.

“According to the article I read, it happened just before your plane landed,” Elizabeth said. “You must’ve driven right into it. It’s a miracle you weren’t hurt.”

Keith dropped the letters he’d been holding, but he kept his eyes averted while he pulled on his overcoat and closed his briefcase. “I guess I was too preoccupied to pay any attention,” he told her. “You know how much stress I’ve been under.”

Keith’s response made Isaac even more uneasy. He liked his brother-in-law, who was a hardworking, sincere, honest guy. So what was going on with Keith today?

“The fog was so thick no one could see a thing, Keith,” Elizabeth said. “Eighteen people died. How is it that you—”

“I’m telling you it was the stress,” he interrupted. “And speaking of stress, I’ve got to go or I’ll miss my plane.”

He came forward to kiss her temple. She hesitated as though she was going to stand up and give him a proper send-off, but he didn’t allow her the chance. He was working his way around the table, saying goodbye to the children.

“Do you really have to leave so soon?” eight-year-old Mica asked.

“Every two weeks, babe. You know that.”

The misery that entered her brown eyes seemed magnified by her glasses. “But the spelling bee is next Wednesday. I wanted you to come watch.”

Finally showing a response that felt authentic to Isaac, Keith mussed her hair, which was the same dark blond as his own. “I saw you beat your whole class, didn’t I?”

“It’s not over yet. Now I’m going up against the rest of the school.”

“I’m proud of you, honey. But you know how demanding my job is.”

“I hate your job,” she grumbled.

“Daddy’s job is what puts food on this table, young lady,” Elizabeth said. Obviously, she was trying to teach Mica to give her father the proper respect—but Liz didn’t look any happier about Keith’s leaving than the children did. Isaac knew her husband’s long absences were hard on her.

“Mom will tape your spelling bee for me,” Keith told his daughter. “We’ll watch it together when I get back.”

Mica frowned over what was left of her breakfast and didn’t answer. But she allowed him to give her a quick squeeze. Then he moved on to his five-year-old son, who had golden hair and wide hazel eyes like his mother.

“What about my soccer game?” Christopher asked.

“I’ll catch the next one, buddy,” Keith said. “And then we’ll go get ice cream again, okay?”

Chris brightened considerably. “Okay!”

“You took him out for ice cream?” Mica gasped. “What about me?”

“You were at your friend’s house.”

“You could’ve brought me a cone.”

He winked at her. “You can come with us next time.”

The natural affection between Keith and his children made Isaac wonder if he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion a few minutes earlier. Keith wasn’t the type to do anything that would hurt his family. So what would he have to lie about?

By the time his brother-in-law came around to shake his hand, Isaac had convinced himself he’d been imagining things. This was the man he’d been so happy to see his sister marry—as opposed to, say, Matt Dugan, the guy she used to date.

“I guess you’ll be gone when I get back, huh?” Keith said.

Isaac nodded. “I’ve been here a week already. I need to get home and organize my notes.”

“On the forest elephants?”

“Exactly.”

Keith grinned and shook his head. “I don’t know how you Tarzan types do it, man. I’d go nuts camping out in the jungle for so long.”

“You wouldn’t if you loved it as much as I do.”

“Maybe not. You certainly make it look easy.”

“I’m single. I have only myself to worry about.” Isaac liked it that way. After taking care of Liz for so long, he enjoyed having the chance to focus solely on his work.

“Well, come and see us again before you head back to Africa, okay?”

“I’ll try. A lot depends on whether or not I get the grant money.”

“It’ll come through eventually. It always does.”

Isaac had been lucky so far. “We’ll see.”

Scooping his keys off the counter, Keith headed to the living room. The front door banged shut. Then silence fell over the table—except for the sudden chime of the clock.

“I hate it when he has to go,” Mica complained.

“Me, too,” Christopher said.

Isaac checked Liz’s reaction and found her staring into her coffee cup.

“What’s up?” he asked.

Her sudden smile appeared forced. “Nothing. Why?”

“Are you still thinking about that accident in Sacramento?”

“Not really.”

“Where’s Keith off to this time?”

“Phoenix. He goes there a lot. He’s training personnel on how to use the new software he’s developed.”

“He must like what he does.”

She sighed. “So much he won’t put in for a change.”

“Is everything—” because Mica was watching, Isaac purposefully veered toward the generic, using only his tone to convey that he meant something deeper “—okay, Elizabeth?”

His sister’s delicately arched eyebrows lifted. “Between me and Keith?” she asked in a low voice. “Of course.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.” She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “The constant traveling gets to me occasionally, that’s all. It’s hard to maintain a normal family life when he’s away half the time.”

“Would you like me to stay here with the kids this week so you can fly to Phoenix and be alone with your husband?” Isaac was really anxious to get back to the university. Classes would be starting soon. He had to get his syllabus prepared for microbiology, which he’d be teaching in the spring semester, if the grant money didn’t come through before then.

But this was Elizabeth. He and his sister had grown up with the understanding that no matter what the world threw at them, they’d always have each other.

He thought she might need him now.

She tucked her long blond hair behind her ears, then took a sip of coffee. “No,” she said, her cup clinking against the saucer. “That’s sweet but, to be honest, I don’t think he’d want me there. He doesn’t like me to bother him while he’s working. We rarely hear from him when he’s out of town.” She rubbed her temples as if battling a headache. “His company demands so much from him. But he enjoys his work, so…what can I do?”

Isaac rubbed his knuckles against his jaw. “Are you sure he wouldn’t like you to join him? He’s been traveling for years. All that work has got to get old after a while.”

“Like your trips to the Congo get old for you?” she teased, her perfect teeth glinting at him as she smiled.

Isaac returned her smile, then sobered and reached out to touch her arm. “Liz?”

She took another sip of coffee before answering. “Hmm?”

“How do you think he missed that big accident in Sacramento?”

Her forehead wrinkled as she considered the question. “I don’t know.” Although her plate was still nearly full, she pushed it away. “It’s possible I have the dates mixed up. He comes and goes so often.”

Despite her attempt to sound casual, her response didn’t ring any truer than Keith’s answers had earlier.

“Do you really think so?” Isaac asked, afraid he was missing something important.

Another flicker of a smile—and an almost imperceptible glance at the children. “I do.”

Dundee, Idaho

IT WAS STILL AWKWARD. Even after nearly two years.

Taking advantage of a moment when Lucky Hill was studying the menu, Reenie O’Connell made a face at her brother to let him know she expected a more valiant effort from him. Then she curved her lips into a bright smile as the half sister they hadn’t known about—until their father spilled the secret after Lucky had returned to town as a grown woman of twenty-four—looked up.

Unfortunately, admonishing Gabe did little good. He was too stubborn. His granitelike expression didn’t soften, and Reenie could tell he was making Lucky uncomfortable. Every few seconds, her eyes darted his way as if she was looking for some small sign of acceptance.

“So…should we rent something in Boise?” Reenie asked, trying to keep Lucky distracted by pressing forward with plans for their father’s sixtieth birthday party.

“I don’t think so,” she replied. “Boise’s over an hour away and too impersonal.”

“But Dad’s been in the state senate for…what? Twenty years? He’s got a lot of acquaintances and professional associates. We need someplace big.”

Lucky tossed her curly, strawberry-blond hair over her shoulder. “Who says we have to invite all his professional associates? I vote we include only those people who are closest to him. Then we could have the party right here in Dundee.”

When there was still no response from Gabe, Reenie jumped in. “You have a point,” she mused. “We don’t want to turn this into another tedious political engagement. Lord knows Dad’s suffered through enough of those.”

“Exactly,” Lucky said, and her gray-blue eyes darted Gabe’s way once again.

Reenie added another spoonful of sugar to her coffee, even though it was already too sweet. She needed something to do with her hands. “In that case, I guess our best option would be to have it at the Running Y Resort.”

Lucky’s reaction held a little too much enthusiasm. “That’s perfect. Don’t you think, Gabe?”

“Fine by me,” he muttered, but it was hardly the warm endorsement Reenie knew Lucky had been hoping for. Their half sister seemed to crave Gabe’s approval. She asked about him all the time. Whether or not things were going well for him and Hannah, his new wife. Whether or not he’d be at the family dinner on Sunday. (If Lucky was planning to attend, the answer was always no.) Whether or not he might come to dinner at her place if she were to invite him….

The smell of coffee filled the air as the waitress stopped by with a steaming pot. Lucky leaned back to allow her to reach across the table. Then, when the waitress walked away, she asked Gabe if he’d like more cream.

When he barely answered, Reenie wanted to kick him under the table. She would have, except she knew it wouldn’t achieve anything. He wouldn’t feel it. The car accident that had ended his professional football career almost four years ago had left him paralyzed from the waist down. He’d been in a wheelchair ever since.

Nothing to do but plunge ahead. She’d hoped planning Garth’s birthday would draw them together. Lucky had even left Sabrina, her one-year-old daughter, with her in-laws this morning so the three of them could meet without any added distractions. But considering Gabe’s smoldering resentment, Reenie’s expectations were falling fast. At this point, she only hoped they could survive this little get-together without Lucky heading home in tears.

“So how many should we invite?” Reenie asked.

“Gabe?” Lucky asked, immediately deferring to him.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. A hundred?”

Lucky cleared her throat. “A hundred is still quite a lot,” she said, obviously trying hard to be tactful. “What about thirty or forty? We want it to be comfortable, not too crowded. I think it’ll be more meaningful to Dad that way.”

Reenie knew Lucky had been so focused on trying to state her preferences politely, she probably hadn’t even noticed a muscle flexing in Gabe’s cheek when she referred to Garth as Dad.

God, this was miserable. Reenie understood that Gabe was trying, or he wouldn’t have come today. She also understood that he was still struggling with the changes that had been forced on him in recent years. But what had happened between their father and the most notorious prostitute in town wasn’t Lucky’s fault. “I think thirty or forty is the way to go,” she said.

This time Lucky ignored her. “Gabe?”

Reenie watched her brother’s deep blue eyes, eyes that were almost a mirror image of her own, meet and clash with Lucky’s. She curled her fingernails into her palms. “Never mind my…er…our surly brother,” she said quickly. Gabe’s eyebrows shot up at the “brother” part, but Reenie continued anyway. “It’s already two out of three, right?” She plastered another smile on her face.

“I’d like him to have some input,” Lucky said, her voice steady. Instead of glancing away, like before, she glared at him.

Gabe clenched his jaw again, and the gap in the conversation stretched, filled only with the sound of clattering dishes coming from the kitchen and the murmur of voices around them. Reenie would have piped up with something, but she knew it was unlikely either of her companions would respond. They were in their own little world now. Lucky’s demeanor indicated she’d finally given up trying to change Gabe’s attitude.

“What is it you want from me?” Gabe asked at last.

“I’d like to know what you hold against me,” Lucky said. “What I’ve done to make you dislike me so much.”

Reenie swallowed hard, expecting the situation to blow up in her face, and was surprised when Gabe backed off.

He jiggled the ice in his water glass. “Do whatever you want,” he said gruffly. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of you can plan the whole thing. I—”

“Forget the party,” Lucky interrupted, holding her chin at a challenging angle. “Just answer my question.”

His scowl darkened. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

He started to wheel himself away, but Lucky stood and intercepted him, boldly placing a hand on his well-muscled arm. “No, I’ll leave. You stay and keep on pouting about the fact that your father slept with my mother twenty-six years ago, since you can’t seem to get over it,” she said. “But I want you to know I’ve finally realized something.” She grabbed her purse before turning her attention to him once again. “I was a fool for wanting you to like me. I was a fool for trying as hard as I have to convince you I might make a good friend.” She gave him a bitter smile. “Go to hell, Gabe. I don’t care if my husband loves you like a brother, if the father I’ve grown to respect worships the ground beneath your feet, if Reenie insists that you aren’t the ogre you seem to be. The moment I come into the picture, you’re not the man everyone thinks you are, and I don’t want to be part of your life anymore,” she said. Then, head held high, she strode proudly to the exit.

Reenie heard the bell jingle over the door as Lucky left, but it was several seconds before she could let go of her breath. “Happy now?” she muttered.

Gabe was still staring after their half sister, looking stunned. Finally he blinked and focused on Reenie. “I didn’t do anything to her. I’ve never done anything to her.”

“That’s not true, Gabe. All she wants is your acceptance. But you’ve turned your back on every overture she’s made.” Reenie slid around the vinyl seat. “As far as I’m concerned, you got what you deserve.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, obviously surprised that she’d desert him, too.

“Keith will be home today,” she said. “The girls and I have things to do.”

CHAPTER TWO

Los Angeles, California

ISAAC COULDN’T HELP puzzling over Keith’s behavior. He vacillated between believing he must have misconstrued the situation, and wondering what his brother-in-law was hiding. A forty-five-car pileup was no small thing. A traveler would definitely notice something like that. And Isaac didn’t believe for a moment that Elizabeth had mixed up the dates. She wouldn’t have pressed her husband as hard as she had if there was any possibility of that.

Maybe Keith had spotted the congested traffic and exited the freeway before realizing the extent of what had happened. And maybe, somehow, he had missed all the news reports of the accident the rest of the day.

Isaac didn’t know a whole lot about Sacramento, but he’d been there once, years ago, to meet up with an old girlfriend who’d long since passed out of his life. If he remembered right, the airport was pretty far out of town, connected to the city by only one street, a major freeway. But that could’ve changed….

Hoping that he’d arrived at a logical explanation, Isaac stared at a map of Sacramento on the computer in Keith’s home office. It looked as if there were a few exits off Interstate 5 that Keith could’ve taken. But the airport still sat amid large tracts of farmland. Would someone not very familiar with the area, someone sitting in fog thick enough to cause that big a pileup, know how to get around a traffic jam when there were so few options available?