New York Nights

“About Gabe?”

“Yeah,” answered Tessa. “Yeah.”

“Sounds great. I’ll meet you at that new bar on the corner of Bleecker and Grover.”

Tessa knew the place. Chrome, black, cute little colored lights, yet pretentious and expensive, with watered-down drinks. Okay, fine, whatever.

Forty-five minutes later Tessa changed into her best pair of black jeans and dashed into Century 21 to buy a dressier shirt. Attire was something she’d never worried about before, but now appearances mattered. The golden, glittery top looked great in the dressing room, but the frumpy haircut? Tessa glared at her own reflection in the mirror and sighed. She could fix clothes, but hair couldn’t be fixed in ten minutes. Actually, it could, but even Tessa knew that getting a haircut in ten minutes or less was a really bad idea. She’d done that once when she was seventeen. Not doing that again. Later, when she had the time, she would fix the hair thing.

When she got to the club, she scoured the room for Marisa, finally spotting her near the back, dressed exquisitely in some neatly pressed olive-green suit that brought out the highlights in Marisa’s exquisitely styled hair.

Marisa, to her credit, looked over Tessa’s new, improved wardrobe and didn’t say a word.

No, the first words out of her mouth were, “Did you talk to him?”

Tessa, whose last conversation with Gabe had consisted of very little communication, having more to do with groping and grabbing, elected to spin the truth. “The time wasn’t exactly right.”

Marisa looked disappointed.

Tessa realized that disappointment wasn’t how you approached the sole person who could help you on this new career in real estate. “But there’ll be more chances,” she added, throwing in an optimistic smile.

Marisa perked up nicely. “I checked into Hudson Towers for you. I know a guy who knows a guy who has an aunt who’s about to move into assisted living. Her place is going up for sublet in another three weeks. I gave him your name, and he was excited to avoid the whole finding-a-new-renter nonsense. How’s that for results?”

Holy moley. In another three weeks she’d have her ideal place. Solo. Marisa was faster than most cabdrivers Tessa had ridden with. “Really? You’re not just yanking my chain, are you?”

“Cross my heart,” promised Marisa.

Tessa ordered a drink from the waitress, choosing to stick to a diet soda. Better to maintain a clear head tonight. After all, this was business. Marisa, not knowing that tonight was business, ordered a Tom Collins.

“When did you decide to go into apartment rentals?” Tessa asked after the waitress deposited their drinks.

Marisa tossed back the hair from her face in one very confident, self-assured flick. “I futzed around after college, trying to design an interesting career around a degree in liberal arts, and then I realized that this city lived and breathed real estate. I didn’t have to teach English if the possibility gave me hives. I could do something more exciting, and financially a lot more rewarding.”

A degree. Bummer. But Tessa wasn’t discouraged yet. “But somebody wouldn’t have to have a degree, would they?”

Marisa shook her head. “Oh, no. We have this one kid in the office who’s fifteen, and even though legally he can’t act as an agent, he’s as good as a walking database of New York City apartments. When he turns eighteen, he’ll be earning a fortune.”

“Wow. Fifteen,” murmured Tessa, shamed by a mere fifteen year old with more business sense than her. “I want to go into real estate, Marisa. I know more about the apartments in this city than anybody, even your fifteen-year-old whiz kid.” There. She’d done it. She’d actually tried to sell herself.

“Really?” asked Marisa, which was better than Get out of my face, bitch, you’re bothering me.

Tessa was mildly encouraged. “Sure, test me.”

And for the next half hour Marisa did. Tessa knocked off the answers one by one, not hesitating, her confidence growing by leaps and bounds.

Eventually Marisa sat back in her chair, arms crossed across her chest. And there was approval on her face. Actual Tessa approval. “You do know your stuff. You think you can handle the exam?”

“With flying colors,” answered Tessa, getting cockier by the millisecond, so close to Hudson Towers she could taste it.

“There’s a weeklong course that you’ll have to take. And then pass the exam. But, yeah, I’d vouch for you.”

And, yes, success. Tessa was in.

“Thank you for all your help.”

Marisa smiled graciously. “Not a problem. You’re helping me out, too,” she reminded Tessa.

“I can’t believe you have problems meeting men.” Because Tessa could see the guys in the club checking out Marisa.

“I’m tired of stuffy Manhattan studs who think every woman must fall down at their feet and perform full-throated fellatio within thirty seconds of the first meet and greet. I’d rather find someone who can respect me. What I like about bartenders is that they seem to respect females. It’s a very therapeutic profession.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that,” Tessa replied.

Marisa leaned her chin on her palm. “Tell me about Gabe.”

Gabe? Did they really have to talk about Gabe? Yes, apparently they did.

Tessa, not quite willing to give up yet, looked around wildly, her eyes resting on the surfer boy who was tending to the bar. “What about this guy? He looks sensitive, almost poetic. I bet he’d love to go out with you.”

“Nah. We dated a few months ago and I broke up with him. I think he was still hung up on his ex-girlfriend or something. You know, it’s very hard for men to break free from repressed memories.”

Oh, man. Marisa was about forty thousand steps ahead of Tessa in the relationship world. “What about the bartenders at Club X? I knew this one bartender there—we played against them in softball last year—and he was fabulous. The most perfect set of abs you’ve ever seen.”

“Mario?”

“Oh.” Tessa’s face fell. “You know him.”

“Yeah,” answered Marisa. “We didn’t go out, though. He’s got a bad track record of date-’n’-dump. I don’t need that.”

“You really know your bartenders, don’t you?” said Tessa, trying to get used to the very real possibility of Marisa dating Gabe. He would be impressed with Marisa. She was confident, successful, nice, well put together and she really liked her bartenders.

“A woman can’t be too careful in this city.”

“No,” Tessa chimed in. Quickly she ordered a shot of tequila, deciding that the vision of Gabe and Marisa was best seen through alcohol-tinted glasses. “A woman can’t.”

The waitress brought two shooters and Tessa clinked her glass with Marisa’s. “To my hookup with Hudson Towers.”

Marisa grinned. “To my hookup with Gabe O’Sullivan.”

The pale liquid should have been hemlock. But as Marisa had said, a woman couldn’t be too careful in this city.

Tessa launched the tequila down her throat. Time to get off the Gabe train while she still could. It’d be too easy to fall back into the same depend-on-a-man trap and get sidetracked from learning to take care of herself. Tessa had dreams, and it was time to start fulfilling them. It was time to either put up or shut up. Either Tessa could take care of herself or else she was going to end up like Stella or with a boyfriend like Chaz who would want to sleep with Tessa’s friends—all at the same time.

No way. Not Tessa. She was going to do this.

No more sex. No more sex at all.

WHEN GABE CAME HOME at two in the morning, Tessa was sacked out on the couch, his old throw cuddled in her arms. The TV was tuned to MSNBC, which gave him a short pause, but he turned it off anyway.

A book was tucked underneath the throw—“New York State Real Estate Requirements”—and he noticed Tessa’s accounting book lying suspiciously next to the trash. There was a new wind blowing, and Tessa wasn’t wasting any time.

Gabe watched her sleep, then shook his head. Damned if he’d leave her on the couch all night, so he gathered her up in his arms, happy when she curled into his chest as though she belonged there.

Carefully he carried her to her bed, wishing she’d picked out something nicer than the futon. If he didn’t think she’d have a heart attack, he’d move her into his room, but Tessa had her whole personal-boundaries issues, and he was going to respect them.

Actually, Gabe wanted to see Tessa make it. For four years he’d watched her press forward, her forehead worried into one long line that even BOTOX couldn’t fix, but she kept going on, roommate after roommate, roadblock after roadblock, never asking for help, never complaining. The little bartender that could—that was her.

Gabe gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, smoothing the lines of worry away.

She was complicated, irrational, skittish…and completely irresistible.

So it’d be complicated. So what? Gabe gave her a long look and then snuck out, closing the door behind him.

Yeah, he’d respect her personal boundaries, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t seduce her personal boundaries right out of the equation.

In fact, it’d be his pleasure.

DANIEL O’SULLIVAN WASN’T a man to complain, but by the time he interviewed the fifth of Sean’s candidates for the new bartender position he decided to forget tradition and raise holy hell.

The blonde was cheerful, flirty, and didn’t know whiskey from vodka. However, she did have breasts that torpedoed out from here to eternity.

Daniel sighed, told the woman to have a nice day, and then went downstairs to the office. This was Prime, not Hooters, and he’d be damned if he would spend a perfectly good Saturday afternoon wasting his time, although, to be fair, it wasn’t as if he had anything better to do than waste his time. Daniel had become very good at wasting time.

Meanwhile, Sean was sitting at the desk playing solitaire on the bar’s computer. Wasting time seemed to be an O’Sullivan family trait.

“What are are you doing?”

Sean turned and quickly clicked over to a spreadsheet. “What do you think? She’s great, isn’t she?”

Daniel could feel the start of a world-class headache.

“Stop coming up with candidates to interview, will you? This isn’t your own personal casting couch.”

“You could make it yours. It’d probably improve your disposition.” Sadly, Sean was completely serious.

“That’s your answer to everything, isn’t it, Sean?”

“It’s not my fault I’m a people person. I bet you didn’t know that lately people have been coming to me for advice, and I’ve discovered a new talent. Giving personal advice. You know, people come to me as a lawyer all the time. Why not come to me as a personal advisor? The best part? I don’t charge by the hour.”

“What idiot comes to you for personal advice?”

“Our younger brother is having sexual difficulties. But you wouldn’t notice, would you?”

“Gabe?” asked Daniel, too shocked to doubt the truth of the matter.

Sean nodded. “He’s having women problems.”

Gabe? Women? Hell, Daniel would be having women problems before Gabe. Gabe was grounded, levelheaded, knew what he wanted and didn’t waste anybody’s time. Gabe didn’t have problems, period. “I don’t believe you.”

“Ask him.”

“For real?” asked Daniel, only because Sean didn’t have the little gleam in his eyes that he got when he was lying.

“Yeah. Pitiful.”

Daniel listened as Sean filled him in on the details, until eventually his curiosity overcame the need to respect his brother’s privacy. “Who is she?”

“Some woman he picked up.”

“Did he say that?” asked Daniel, because Gabe didn’t pick up women. They tried to pick him up, and he always said no. Well, almost always. For the past four years Gabe had barely looked at women at all.

Except for one.

It had become something of an inside joke to Daniel, watching Gabe and Tessa together—and yet not. In some ways, Daniel was living vicariously through his younger brother, remembering what it felt like. That smile when she walked into the room, the easy comfort of knowing that there was always someone waiting for you at home.

There was never any overt sexual tension between Tessa and Gabe—they were too casual for that. It took a detail man to notice the way they got along so easily, knowing what the other one needed before asking, laughing at jokes that no one else got. And then there was the way Gabe protected Tessa, making sure the problem customers were never sitting at her bar. Looking out for her when she was shorthanded and in general making sure that Tessa didn’t hurt.

Daniel understood that. Understood the idea that there was only one woman created exactly, specifically for each man. Life was very precise, as was love.

Fate had decreed that they be together. Maybe it wasn’t fate, maybe it was God. Daniel believed in both.

Eight years ago Daniel had found Michelle, loved her to the exclusion of every other female on the planet—and in a single moment God took her away.

But Gabe still had his moment. He had an entire lifetime to celebrate the exact, specific woman who was created perfectly for him.

Daniel looked up at the betting pool. Saw the neatly written numbers and the names next to them and then laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny?” demanded Sean.

“You wouldn’t understand,” replied Daniel. Sean wouldn’t get it. For Sean, sex was the be-all and end-all to women.

And to prove Daniel’s point, Sean pulled out an application from the pile. “Whatever, but let’s talk bartenders for a moment, shall we? This is Leslie, and she’s got this long, long, dark hair, and the woman is ready, willing and completely bedworthy. I think she’d be great. Really.”

ON SATURDAY MORNING Tessa emerged from her bedroom in a Grateful Dead T-shirt that skimmed her knees.

Gabe looked up from the Post, not wanting to imagine what was under the T-shirt, and if he wasn’t going to imagine what was under there, he needed to make sure she couldn’t read it on his face.

“So how was last night?” he asked.

Tessa padded over to the cabinets, and pulled out a box of cereal, then seated herself at the table next to him. “Fun,” she answered, taking a handful of cereal and popping it into her mouth like candy.

“And class?”

She stopped crunching, and then swallowed. “Not fun. I’m quitting.”

And wasn’t that about time? “New plans?”

“Yeah. Real estate. I’ve been talking to a friend. There’s a class starting in the middle of next week. I’m signing up.”

“You have enough money to cover the cost?” Knowing Tessa, she’d live on ramen noodles and cereal before she’d take any help.

“Oh, yeah.” Her hand reached into the box again. “You should meet this girl. Marisa. The one who’s been helping me. She’s completely cool. I think you’d like her.”

“Probably not,” Gabe responded, not wanting to state out loud that his attention was currently occupied but wondering why Tessa couldn’t figure this out on her own. In terms of life issues, maybe she was directionally challenged, but she wasn’t dense. At least not usually.

She folded up the bag of cereal, her mouth fixed in a solemn line. “I’ve been thinking.”

Never good, but Gabe wasn’t worried. Quickly he directed the conversation to the one he wanted. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot to think about. A career change, a roommate search. I’m glad you’re thinking.” There, positive affirmations. The perfect way to get women to do what you wanted them to.

But when she met his eyes, he saw sadness there. Oh, this really wasn’t going to be good.

“I don’t think I can sleep with you anymore,” she said.

Aha, maybe not so bad. So she’d come to see the error of the strange relationship they had? “Actually, I’m glad you think that way. I want to change things around, too.”

“You do?”

Honesty. He’d avoided talking because he knew it would scare her, but since she’d brought it up…“Yeah. I don’t like this, Tessa. I want us to go out. We don’t have to tell anybody. I don’t think that’d be a good idea—it’s too soon, and people will interfere and get in the way. But I want us to be normal. Don’t get me wrong here, I love having sex with you, but it bugs me because I feel like I’m taking advantage of you because of you living here and working at the bar, and I don’t like that. As a rule, I don’t handle guilt well.”

Tessa frowned. “I don’t think you understand.”

Of course he understood. Out of the entire universe of people, Gabe was the only one who was practicing common sense. However, not the time. It couldn’t be possible that Sean was right. Maybe Tessa just wanted him to try and understand her.

“Then help me understand. What do I need to understand?” Gabe asked.

“I can’t sleep with you at all. I can’t go out with you. It’s getting in the way.”

Gabe put down the paper, now giving her his undivided attention. This conversation wasn’t nearly as easy as he’d thought it would be. “Getting in the way? It doesn’t have to get in the way. You need time to study—I can respect that. In fact, I think I’ve been awesome at trying to not get in your way.”

“I can’t do this,” she told him quietly.

“Why?” Gabe asked, really starting to hate that word.

“I don’t know why.”

“There’s got to be a why, Tessa. This is me. Gabe. You can tell me anything.” Damn, his voice sounded desperate. Gabe didn’t like desperate.

Tessa pulled back. He saw her pull back physically and knew she had pulled back emotionally, as well. “There is no why. I just decided that it’s not smart. There. Not smart. That’s my why. It’s time that I started being smart, Gabe.”

“You are smart,” he spoke up automatically.

“Not smart enough. If I were smarter, I would know people. I would have a career plan. I wouldn’t have to depend on my friends for my living quarters.”

Gabe opened his mouth, then closed it. He couldn’t believe the nonsense that was coming out of her. It was as if she was turning into some completely new person, and Gabe didn’t like it. He wanted the old Tessa back.

“I’m more than your friend, Tessa.”

“No, Gabe. No, you’re not,” she said, the ultimate knife in the back.

He looked into her eyes, trying to read her mind, trying to see the things that he had always grasped so easily before. There was no freaking way that Gabe had misread this situation, and Tessa seemed ready to cry.

“You don’t mean that.”

She nodded, her lips pursed tightly together.

“You don’t want this?” Gabe asked, still waiting for her to tell him the truth. But they were good together. In fact, they were better than good together.

“I can’t want this,” she stated slowly, with a dignity that was usually lacking from her words.

Gabe rose up from the table, needing to stop looking at her. He wanted to hit out, yell, make her come to her senses, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything at all.

“Fine,” he answered and walked to his room, slamming the door.

Even if it hurt him.

He wanted to ignore her, pretend she didn’t exist, let the anger cool. But goddamn—

Tessa was his roommate.

Goddamn.

THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON was a milder form of hell for Tessa. She spent the afternoon locked in her room. Not that locks were necessary—Gabe wasn’t coming anywhere near her. Her feminine intuition told her that truth. Her feminine intuition, along with the raging chaos in Gabe’s eyes.

He left for the bar around two, slamming the door behind him, probably being polite and letting her know he was leaving.

Tessa immediately burst into tears.

And this from two people who weren’t, as a rule, emotional.

Okay, this hadn’t gone as she’d planned. Tessa had thought she could be mature and able to handle the ending of a relationship—using the term relationship loosely—without feeling as if the floor had been pulled out from underneath her.

Sadly Gabe was the foundation she’d built the last four years on, and now she knew that foundation was gone.

And where had that come from? For four years she’d worked her butt off to get her own place in New York. And now it was right within her grasp, but her priorities were getting all whacked. All because of sex with Gabe. Tessa wanted Gabe, but she wanted to have things the way they were—but she knew there was no going back. She’d known that from the first time he’d kissed her when that lightning bolt of awareness shot through her and made her open her eyes to feelings she had never wanted to admit. She depended on Gabe too much. He was her boss, her roommate and, most of all, her friend. But seeing a guy naked complicated things, and aching to have him inside you killed all that friendship stuff in a heartbeat.

Tessa sniffed away the last of her tears. Tears were for losers, and Tessa wasn’t a loser. She was a survivor and she could get through this, as well.

She showered and dressed for work, not thinking about the big hole in her chest. All she needed to do was pull on her big-girl panties because right now she had a job to do.

At the bar, the regulars were lined up in front of Gabe, exactly as if everything were normal.

Tessa pasted her usual smile on her face because, yes, this was normal. Completely normal. She didn’t need to feel as if she’d been doused over the head with a bucket of ice.

Gabe flashed her a smile, not really so normal, more like “mad as hell, but we’ll pretend,” and Tessa looked down, concentrating on cutting lemons.

Thankfully the weather outside was sunny and fabulous, and so the crowds started pouring in early, which didn’t give her much time to dwell on her own misery. In fact, after a few hours, things did start to seem normal. When the tap went dry, Gabe was there to tap the new one for her. When a very forward slut-puppy began hitting on Gabe, Tessa sent Lindy over to rescue him by pretending to be his girlfriend. When Sean took an extended break with some redhead, Tessa filled in smoothly, covering two of the three bars without a misstep. It wasn’t the Paris Peace Accord, but it wasn’t World War III either. When Sean returned to the bar, slightly out of breath and flushed, Gabe didn’t even seem to mind.

Tessa had made it past depressed and was halfway to optimistic when Marisa breezed in, a vision in bright blue silk, turning all male heads in her path.

Except for Gabe’s.

Marisa shouldered through to find a seat in front of Tessa.

“How’s it going?”

“Busy,” answered Tessa, which she hoped would prevent long, extended Gabe-filled conversations.

“Were you able to talk to him? Should I go introduce myself? Do you think this dress is okay? Not too trashy? I wanted sexy but classy. This is sexy but classy, don’t you think?”

Tessa stared, unable to reconcile this babbling sinkhole of female insecurities with confident, self-assured Marisa. However, it did make her feel more comfortable with her own lack of confidence when it came to Gabe. Did he affect all women this way? Probably.

Tessa smiled at Marisa, somewhat vindicated. “You look great. Don’t worry. I started laying the groundwork for you, but let me go over and say a few more things, and then you sit at his bar for a while. Oh, and one thing—I didn’t tell him about the apartment at Hudson Towers. He never liked the place, and I don’t want to say anything. Let’s keep that part just between us. Okay?”

Marisa nodded. “Sure. You’ll talk to him now?”

Tessa nodded and wiped suddenly sweaty palms on her rag. She could do this. She could definitely do this. She tightened her smile, took a deep breath and went to see Gabe.

He was pouring a pitcher of beer and he looked up, surprised to see her.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Tessa nodded. “You remember me talking to you about Marisa, the Realtor who’s getting me into school?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at her, confused.

Not that she could blame him. She knew everything that was going on and she still felt confused. “I think you should talk to her. Get to know her. I think you two would really hit it off.”