All I Have

“Must be nice.” Dell stared at some point beyond her.

Well, who knew? The Naked Farmer wasn’t quite as frivolous as she’d made him out to be. She’d always figured Dell the type to take over his dad’s farm because he didn’t want to work at anything else, but farming was hard. Generally not something you did only because you fell into it. If he was fighting to convince his dad he could take over, maybe he had a bit more at stake with the farmers’ market stuff than she’d given him credit for.

Not that it mattered. The shirtless routine was stupid, and she certainly wasn’t going to let her guard down just because he had a few daddy issues or made her insides feel like melted Jell-O. Those were wholly secondary to beating him at the market.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met your dad. How is that possible in New Benton?” He smiled down at her, but the way his lips curved was tight and uncomfortable, as if it was a very forced smile. A forced conversation.

Well, darn it. Dell wasn’t supposed to have hidden depths or be nice enough to force conversation. Mia looked at the faded logo on his chest. “Probably because he’s a hermit.”

Dell laughed, and she absolutely got no secret thrill from that. “No, seriously, outside of my family there are only three people he talks to. The priest at Saint Mary’s, Rick at Orscheln and the guy who buys our milk.”

The song ended, but Dell didn’t let go of her hand. Mia’s stomach did a weird flipping drop when he squeezed it instead.

“Wanna keep going until those two stop going at it?”

He gestured to Cara and Kevin making out in the dark corner. Mia grimaced. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You know, you’re pretty good at letting the guy lead in a dance. I thought you’d be trying to boss me around. It’s a little shocking. You’re not half-bad.”

Mia smirked. “Coming from the guy who coined ‘Mia, Queen of the Geeks,’ that’s quite a compliment.”

His head snapped back. “I didn’t make that up.”

“Well, you’re the first person I remember calling me it to my face,” Mia returned. When his face fell into surprise and discomfort, and then guilt, Mia shifted uncomfortably in his grip. “I remember it quite clearly. Nothing like the homecoming king and queen laughing at you in the cafeteria when you’re a lowly sophomore.”

“Hey, listen, I’m sorry.” When he moved to the music this time, the distance between them shrunk. He lowered his mouth closer to her ear, and Mia had to focus on the high school memory to keep her heart from escaping her chest and galloping out the door.

He made her stomach tie in knots, but it wasn’t the kind she was used to. These weren’t so much painful as they were...uncomfortable. Laced with a jittery excitement, a bizarre impulse to lean closer.

Oh, no, she could not do that. “Long time ago,” she managed to croak. She moved to get a fraction of the distance between their bodies back. “Might have hurt my feelings at the time, but I got over it.” Eventually. There were really only a few people she still harbored any bitterness toward, and Dell wasn’t one of them. He’d been careless, but never malicious.

“Well, I’m still sorry. I wasn’t big on thinking much beyond my own feelings at the time. Overhearing that nickname would be bad enough. Imagine it’s worse having someone say it to your face.”

Mia shrugged, more to hide the shiver as his breath danced along her neck. “High school. Most of us weren’t thinking. I’m not worried about it. I was a geek. Either trying too hard to fit in or too hard to be invisible. Neither ever worked. In a town this size, you don’t get to disappear.” Why was she talking about this? Oh, yeah, because she never could shut her yap when she was uncomfortable.

When Dell didn’t say anything, Mia bit her lip to keep the words from pouring out. She made it about five seconds before she couldn’t stand it. “I’m pretty sure there’s a statute of limitations on name-calling in high school. It ended a few years ago. Forget it.”

Since she couldn’t bring herself to look into his eyes, considering her face was probably red from the roots of her hair to the V of her shirt, she watched the underside of his stubbled chin move back and forth.

For the briefest flash she wondered what it might feel like, the whiskers against her palm. Against her face. But, oh, my God, so not the time. So not okay. This was Dell. Not some random guy.

“I’m not sure there’s a statute of limitations on anything,” he said grimly. “Mia, that was a really shitty thing for me to do. I know it probably doesn’t make much difference now, but I am truly sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter.” It didn’t. She wanted to forget about it. Forget about him and him suddenly being all nice and repentant, and, no, she didn’t want any of this. She wanted to hate him. He was making it impossible.

His mouth turned grim. “Right. Because you don’t like me anyway. I’m just the dumb guy taking off his shirt. You can say it. Heard it plenty.”

“I don’t not like you and I don’t think you’re dumb.” Mia squeezed her eyes shut. What a stupid thing to say. To admit. He was the enemy. Stealing her customers. Mia shook her head. How did she get to be on a dance floor in a bar dancing with the guy she was trying to beat in sales? Could she possibly get any dumber?

Just as Kenzie had accused her of, and Dad and Anna and Cara had backed up. She was a softie. Any sob story had her sobbing right along with the teller, sympathizing.

But this was Dell. Her enemy. Her only enemy. She didn’t need to feel guilty or assuage his guilt, either. “Look, I wish you’d keep your shirt on and stop stealing my female customers, but I don’t not like you.” Yeah, that helped. Why didn’t she just say, “I don’t not like you” fifty more times so he really got the message? Why didn’t she just lean right up against him and really show him?

The tap on Mia’s shoulder almost made her jump, it was so startling. Cara was grinning, practically intertwined like a pretzel with Kevin.

“Hey, Kevin’s going to give me a ride home.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

“Keep an eye on her for me, Dell,” Cara said with a wink.

“Catch you another time, man.” Kevin offered Dell a goofy grin as Cara pulled him toward the door.

Mia looked back at Dell, realized her hand was still in his. He considered her for a second before speaking. “You, uh, need a ride home? Or I could buy you another drink.”

Mia reminded herself it was pity or guilt over high school or eight million other reasons beyond Dell Wainwright wanting to spend a few extra minutes with her. It was none of the reasons she wanted to spend more time with him, and she could really not afford to want to spend more time with him. “No. No, I have my truck. You should head home. All that stuff to prove, remember?”

He grinned. “Right.” Finally, finally, he released her hand, and she made sure to put more space between them.

“Bye,” she offered lamely.

“See you Saturday, Mia.”

She nodded, turned and tried not to scurry out of the bar like a frightened animal. She looked back briefly to see Dell watching her go. Swallowing down the weird suspicion that he’d been checking out her ass, Mia let herself break into a jog once she got to the dark parking lot.

This was the absolute last time she ever let Cara talk her into anything.

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