Down Home Cowboy

CHAPTER FIVE

THE MORNING WAS cold and clear, the sun rising up over the mountains just as Cain finished with milking the cows. He walked across the paddock and leaned over the edge of the fence, watching as the rose gold burned away and shimmered into a true, bright yellow gold that washed over the tops of the mountains, over the trees, gilding the edges and setting the fields below on fire. Little yellow-and-purple flowers all ablaze in the day’s early light.

There was something about this part of the day that Cain had come to love. It had taken some getting used to. Getting up at five in the morning and dragging his ass out into the cold with a thermos of coffee and a can-do attitude. But over the past couple of months it had become his favorite moment.

Nothing had gone wrong yet. There was still a world of possibility ahead. And sometimes, it felt like it was just him and the mountains.

“Good morning, jackass,” came a voice from behind him.

And Alex. Him and the mountains, and his annoying little brother Alex.

“It was a good morning,” Cain said, turning and facing the other man, who was currently grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. Which basically summed Alex up.

“I’m not feeling the love.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“What were you pondering?” Alex asked, making his way over to the fence to stand next to him.

“The joy of silence. And of being an only child.”

“Well, you pretty much were growing up.”

That was true. Their dad had liked to spread it around, and he had liked to procreate. But he hadn’t liked to raise the children he created. So, even though there had been variations in their childhoods, they’d had that in common.

“I was,” Cain said. “And you know what? I was happy.”

“I have yet to see evidence that you’ve ever been happy a day in your life,” Alex said, ripping him cheerfully. Alex did everything just a little bit too cheerfully. Sometimes, Cain thought he glimpsed something else beneath that good-natured cheer. Something darker, something that Alex clearly didn’t want anyone else to see.

Alex had served in the army for more than a decade, and during those years had spent a lot of time overseas. Cain knew that his younger brother hadn’t come out of that service without some scarring, mentally, if not physically. But he did a damn good job of hiding it.

Which made Cain suspicious that what was under all that was pretty dark. But he wasn’t going to go poking at it with a stick. If he did that, his brother might return the favor.

“If I remember correctly, I have been happy once or twice,” he said. The day of his wedding and the day of his daughter’s birth came to mind. Nothing else jumped out in his memory.

“I would be happier if I had a refill of coffee. How about you?”

“It’s about that time,” he acknowledged, brushing his knuckles against the brim of his hat and tipping it back on his head. “Actually, it feels past time.”

Suddenly, he felt tired. The kind of tired that had nothing to do with sleep. The kind that weighed a man down.

He hadn’t slept for shit last night. Every time he closed his eyes he’d imagined sifting his fingers through red hair, touching soft, pale skin. He’d been so hard it had been physically painful. But he had refused to do anything about it. Had refused to give himself any relief.

Because his damn body deserved to be punished for wanting to get it on with the single most complicated woman he could have found in a small town. And, given that it was such a small town, most women were going to be complicated in some way or another. So, that was saying something.

Really, the only woman that could possibly be more complicated would be a married one. And even then, maybe not so much. Because, as long as it was a secret...

Not that he would ever go there. His own marriage might have been an unmitigated disaster but he respected the institution too much to go sticking his dick where it didn’t belong.

Just as they were approaching the house, the front door jerked open and out came a very stormy-looking Violet, wearing black leggings, a plain gray T-shirt, and a hoodie with only the bottom zipped, the hood up over her hair. She stomped down the stairs and stopped in front of Cain, seeming surprised momentarily as she very nearly ran into him. “Where were you?” she asked, expression furious.

“I was out doing my job,” he said, trying to keep his tone measured, even though he could sense that this was about to become a fight.

“Well, I’m late to my job,” she said, nearly shouting. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I didn’t know you were opening this morning, Violet,” he said, much more patiently than the situation warranted, he felt. “And it’s your responsibility to set your own alarm.”

“I did,” she said. “But it didn’t go off.”

“Technology failure,” he returned, “that’s not my fault. But if you head over to the truck I’ll get ready to drive you over.”

“You should have been around, instead of out playing cowboy, or whatever the hell you’re doing.”

He couldn’t do much of anything but stare at the little viper whose diapers he had once changed. “Playing cowboy? This is my job. This is our legacy.”

“No. We had a ranch in Texas. And I know you sold it for a crap ton of money. You don’t have to work here, you’re just choosing to work here. Because I guess you really like being too busy to do anything for me.”

“That’s it. Get into the truck before we both say something we’re going to regret,” he said, grinding his teeth together.

“No. I mean, I’m going to get into the truck,” she said. “Because I’m late for work. But not because you told me to.”

“Violet. At this point, I don’t give a damn why you get in the truck, but you need to do it. And you need to shut your mouth for about thirty seconds and then think very carefully about the next thing you let come out of it. I’m going inside to get coffee. Wait for me.”

Alex didn’t say anything as the two of them headed into the house. And he continued to say nothing as Cain went over and poured himself a travel mug full of coffee.

“No comment?” Cain asked finally, because surely his younger brother, who had a smart remark for everything, had a smart remark for this.

“No comment at all. Except that teenagers are hell. I should remember, seeing as I was one of the worst.”

“She overslept, and somehow I’m the bad guy.”

Alex laughed. “I have a feeling at this point you could buy her a pony and be the bad guy.”

“Too fucking true,” he grumbled, feeling seriously aggrieved as he strode out of the kitchen and made his way out to the truck, where Violet was waiting, her arms crossed, her expression the physical embodiment of the storm cloud.

He jerked the driver’s side door open and got in, starting the engine with a little more violence than was strictly necessary.

They began the drive toward town in silence, and Cain told himself to keep it that way. To keep his temper in check. Because Violet was a teenager, and she was testing boundaries. Because she was angry, because ever since they had left Texas she had felt disenfranchised and stuff because she’d had to leave her friends behind. So it wasn’t about him. It really wasn’t. It was about the change. And he needed to remember that.

That lasted all of ten minutes.

“You think I did this for me?” he asked. “You think that I sold everything I spent your entire life building because I thought it would be hilarious to start over somewhere? Just for fun?”

“I think you’d rather work yourself to death than sit in the same room with me for more than five seconds.”

“I sat in a truck with you from Texas to Oregon, I don’t think that’s the real issue here. That was a long-ass drive, Violet. I didn’t avoid that, did I?”

“Whatever,” she said, propping her chin up on her hand and staring out the window.

He was so mad at her, and he wanted to leave her on the side of the road. But suddenly he was overwhelmed by the urge to laugh. Because the drama was just a little too much, and a whole lot familiar. He could remember doing the exact same thing at Violet’s age. Of course, when he’d been angry at his mother it was because she had stayed out all night at the casino and gone home with a strange man.

Violet had no freaking idea how good she had it.

“We were dying there,” he said, his tone rough. “Waiting for her to come back. And I wasn’t going to wait anymore.”

“You didn’t ask me.”

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “No. I didn’t. This isn’t a democracy, this is a dictatorship. I wasn’t taking votes.”

She made that horrible, cat-hacking-up-a-hair-ball sound that teenagers made when they just couldn’t even with you.

And after that, he let it rest. Because he did have to take her to work, not leave her on the side of the road.

“I’m going to get in trouble,” Violet said when they pulled up in front of Pie in the Sky. And in that moment, she sounded so young, so small, and so defeated he just couldn’t be mad anymore.

“No, you aren’t. Alison seems nice. She’ll understand that your alarm didn’t go off. It was a mistake. It happens.”

She looked up at him then, her eyes suspiciously bright, the expression in them pleading. But she wasn’t going to ask for his help, of course not. She was just going to sit there looking miserable until he offered it. And of course he was going to offer it. Because dammit, it felt good to have her need him.

Usually, he had no idea what in the hell he could do for her. But this, he could do.

“Come on. I’ll walk you inside.”

The fact that she didn’t argue with him confirmed his suspicions about the fact that she did want his help. As soon as they entered the bakery Violet scampered behind the counter, grabbing an apron as she went, disappearing into the kitchen. A few seconds later, Alison appeared.

She was wearing much the same thing she’d worn yesterday, all that red hair piled on top of her head again. She looked up, pausing, her expression like someone who had been hit by a truck. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were here,” she said, reaching up and patting her hair, then dropping her hand quickly and smoothing her apron in what looked like a nervous, fluttery motion.

He affected her. He made her nervous. Well. Hell.

“I figured I would walk Violet in. I know she’s late.”

Alison frowned. “Right. I put her to work on cupcake duty. I really needed the help this morning.”

“Her alarm didn’t go off. You know how phones are.” Or, he figured it was something to do with the phone. He didn’t really know how phones were. He had no clue what he was saying.

“She needs to get a backup,” Alison said, her tone not unkind, but definitely firm. “But I have no trouble talking to her about that. She’s sixteen, I think she can take the responsibility for it.”

That rankled a little bit. Because he had decided to come in and take the responsibility for it. Because he wanted to be the hero here. Violet might be too little for him to pick up and put on his shoulders, but he could do this. “Yes,” he said. “But she is still learning. She’s never had a job before. And she’s used to me getting her up in the morning for school. But with the way things are working here at the ranch I’m out early. I wasn’t back in time to be her backup today. And she’s not used to that. She’ll learn, but you can’t expect her to get it right the first time.”

Alison blinked. “Are you scolding me?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” she said, resting her elbow on the counter and leaning in ever so slightly.

“You don’t seem too offended,” he said, resting his own elbow on the counter and moving in toward her.

“I’m in my place of business,” she countered. “So I’m being measured in my responses.”

“I would hate to see your temper in full force.”

“Is that a redhead joke?”

“I don’t think so.” He leaned in just a little bit more, and when her breath caught, an answering catch hit him low in the stomach. “You seem a little defensive about that though. It makes me think people have commented on your temper before.”

“Not for a while,” she said, a soft smile playing with the edges of her mouth.

He wanted to taste that smile. And again, like she’d done the first time they’d talked here in the bakery, she licked her lips, as if she could read his mind about all the tasting he wanted to do.

“Alison, the rest of the cupcakes are too hot to frost.”

Both he and Alison looked up quickly, Alison’s head whipping back toward the kitchen, when Violet came out wringing her hands and looking lost.

Violet. Yes. He had brought Violet to work. And he had been... Well. Damn. He had been flirting with her boss. And he had decided he wasn’t going to do that.

“That’s fine,” Alison said. “You can watch Sabine do doughnuts. It’s pretty easy. I think you’ll be able to pick it up pretty fast.”

“Bye, Dad,” Violet said, turning and heading back into the kitchen. Clearly, he was dismissed.

“I’d better get back,” he said. And he really needed to get his damn head on straight.

“Right. Well. Get your daughter an alarm clock.”

He touched the tip of his hat with his fingertips and drew it down. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, thickening his drawl on purpose.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he liked the result. The color rose in her cheeks, pretty and bright, and for a moment he just enjoyed the sight. He wasn’t going to do anything about her response to him, but, apparently he hadn’t forgotten how to do this entirely. That was good to know.

“I’ll be back later,” he said. And he didn’t wait for her response before he walked out of the shop and back onto the street.

* * *

ALISON WAS STILL flustered a couple of hours after Cain left. She had been ready to stand firm when it had come to Violet and her lateness. But then... Then... Stuff had happened. And she still wasn’t entirely sure what it had been. Well, okay, it had been flirting. She was reasonably sure. But why? Why did she have to respond to him like this? And what was even the point of him making it blatantly obvious that he was...that there was electricity between them?

She heard a loud groan from across the kitchen, and turned just in time to see her problem child pulling another sunken cake out of the oven.

She could fire Violet. She could blame it on the cake. No one would ever have to know it was because she thought Violet’s dad was hot.

No. She wasn’t going to do that. The entire cornerstone of her business was helping women. If she compromised that mission because of a man... Well. Hypocrisy, that’s what it was.

“You’re still having trouble, Violet?” she asked, once she had her rogue thoughts under control.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” She looked so distressed that all of Alison’s petty thoughts faded away.

“I’ll tell you what. I’m going to help you. I’m going to spend extra time on this with you.”

Violet shifted uncomfortable, tucking a strand of dark hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “I don’t know if I can get down here for that. Or stay late or anything. My dad has to get up super early to work and I don’t have my license yet.”

“Okay,” Alison said, feeling determined now. She had been passive, once upon a time. That was not her way now. Now, when she got the bug to do something, she dug her heels right in. “Is there space to cook at your place?”

“I guess so. We’re staying in my uncle Finn’s house, and his kitchen is gigantic.”

“Do you think anyone would mind if I came over after shift and helped you with a few things?”

Violet blinked, obviously surprised by the offer. “No. Probably none of them will be around. Finn will be with Lane, my dad will be... Well, anywhere but in the house. My other two uncles... Mostly I don’t want to know what they’re up to.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of the comment about her dad, but it suited Alison to think he wouldn’t be around. “Perfect. Actually, if you want to text your dad and let him know that I can drive you home...”

Violet frowned. “You don’t have to do that. It seems like you’re doing an awful lot for me.” And that clearly made the teenager uncomfortable. But Alison was willing to make her uncomfortable for the sake of proving she was valued.

She’d needed that. And no one in her life had given it.

“Yes,” Alison said. “I am. But you should never feel like you don’t deserve that, Violet.” Alison felt passionate about this part of her job, about this part of the bakery, and her calling. Because she had spent so many years living in a dark hole. Thinking that she didn’t even deserve to see the sun, not after what she had submitted herself to for so many years. It was difficult to ask for help when you’d half convinced yourself that it was your own fault you needed it.

Now that she was in a position to offer help to other people, now that she wasn’t in quite such a desperate situation, she wanted them to feel the freedom in accepting help. In feeling that they deserved it.

Especially somebody as young as Violet. She wanted her to always know that she could ask for extra help if she needed it. That she wasn’t a burden. That she could offer help herself when she saw the need, and she was able.

“I don’t understand why you’re being so nice,” Violet responded.

“This is something that I can do. I’m good at baking. And I’m good at helping other people learn how to do it. Or if not baking specifically, then job skills in general. Why wouldn’t I want to pass that on?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to know. But I do want to help. So after work we’re going to tackle more cake. If you think you’re up to it.”

“Definitely,” Violet said, looking a little more certain now.

“Great.”

Alison attacked the rest of the day with a solid sense of determination. She felt...a renewed sense of something. And she was rolling with it. By the time they closed up shop, she was feeling even more amped up.

Last night’s sense of...whatever that had been had faded. She didn’t need attraction. She didn’t need flirting. She had this. She was making a difference.

“Are you ready?” she asked Violet, grabbing a few of the ingredients she would need to do some more specialized baking tonight and piling her arms high with them.

“Yes,” Violet said. “Do you need help?”

“Yes. If you could get those icing bags and a couple of different extracts—whatever you’re in the mood for—that would be great.”

Violet complied, pausing briefly in front of the various flavored extracts. “What should I choose?”

“If we were making your birthday cake, what would you pick?”

“Lemon. And vanilla. Lemon for the cake, vanilla for the frosting.”

“Then choose those. We are going to make a badass lemon vanilla cake.”

Violet looked absolutely delighted by that. And Alison wasn’t sure she had ever seen the teenager delighted before.

Violet was almost chatty on the drive out of town, up to the ranch that she and her father were living on. Alison had never been to Finn’s house, though given the fact that Lane was almost living there now, she had a feeling that she would have been invited up soon enough.

The house itself was set back from the main road, at the end of a long, winding driveway. A stunning log creation that almost seemed to flow with the nature around it. “This is... Well, it’s beautiful,” Alison said as she pulled up to the expansive dwelling.

“I guess so,” Violet said, her enthusiasm noticeably dampened.

“You don’t like it here?” Alison asked, turning her car engine off and unbuckling.

“I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t like it, I guess.” Except she clearly didn’t.

“An issue with ranch life or small-town life?” Alison asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just different. It’s cold and there’s nothing to do in town. We lived on a ranch in Texas but we were closer to a city.”

“I’ve never lived anywhere but Copper Ridge,” Alison said. “Though I’ve fantasized about running away a few times.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I just don’t know where I would run to.”

“Adults can’t really run away. They just move.” Violet let out a heavy sigh. “They have all the control.”

“That isn’t true,” Alison said. “Adults can most definitely run away. Mostly when they feel like they aren’t in control. Anyway. Let’s get all of the baking stuff.” She got out of the car, inhaling a deep breath of the sweet, pine-scented air. She loved her little apartment on Main Street, right above the bakery. Right in the heart of town. But sometimes, she craved an escape. A sanctuary.

She certainly wouldn’t say no to a luxury cabin in the middle of the woods.

She and Violet collected the ingredients, and the two of them walked up to the porch together. Violet pushed the door open, and Alison followed her inside.

Then she followed the girl into the most beautiful kitchen she had ever seen. The rest of the cabin was nice, but there was nothing like a custom kitchen with a view to get Alison’s heart pumping. For some strange reason, the sight threw her mind back to the tiny house she’d lived in on the outskirts of town only four years ago.

Four years. It felt like a lifetime. Like it had been another person. Pale, beaten down.

For some reason, when she took a step forward she could almost feel that tacky yellow linoleum beneath her shoe. She shook her head. She was walking across a gorgeous stone floor, in a beautiful home that bore absolutely no resemblance to the house she had once shared with her ex-husband, Jared. There was no reason to think of him now. And yet, she found herself thinking of him sometimes at the strangest moments. Moments that shouldn’t remind her of him, but somehow did.

Resolutely, she set the ingredients down on the granite-topped island in the middle of the room, the sudden motion and the noise that it made forcing her back into the present. “Okay,” she said, “let’s get baking.”

CHAPTER SIX

WHEN CAIN CAME back in from his evening chores, the house smelled amazing, and the sound of clattering dishes was filtering out of the kitchen. He wondered if Lane was here cooking something for dinner. That was his favorite part of his brother having a girlfriend. The fact that she fed all of them, and happily. In fact, she saw to it like it was a mission.