Wolf Haven

CHAPTER FOUR

GRAY TRIED TO put a choke chain on his emotions when Sky sleepily appeared down the hall near 7:00 p.m. His anger had simmered nonstop when he put the pieces of her torture together. Waterboarding broke a person psychologically and emotionally. And it didn’t take long to do it.

As he moved the dinner plates and flatware to the oak table in the dining room, he savagely stuffed all his feelings into his kill box. Until he could verify what he thought was true, Gray could only conjecture. And looking at Sky’s drowsy features, her hair mussed around her face, she appeared damned fragile. Too fragile to talk about something he knew was terrifying for her.

“Hey,” he called, laying out the flatware, “did you have a good nap?”

Sky yawned and rubbed her face as she walked toward the open area that housed the kitchen, dining room and living room. The cathedral ceiling made the place feel airy and large.

“I did, thanks. Sorry I slept so long. Something smells good.” She halted at the edge of the kitchen where Gray was working. Her mind was spongy. It had been so long since she’d slept so deeply and without interruption. They’d returned from town at 2:00 p.m. Looking at the clock up on the wall, Sky realized she’d slept a solid five hours.

“I threw together what I know,” Gray warned her with an amused look, pulling out the salad dressing from the fridge. He handed it to her. “I even made you a salad.”

Touched, Sky took the bottle of dressing. Their fingers briefly met. Warmth sheeted up her hand and into her arm. There was just something calm and soothing about being around Gray. He moved with a masculine grace around the galley kitchen. Sky couldn’t take her gaze off him. He was handsome in a rugged kind of way, his face hard and weathered by working outdoors as a SEAL. “This will do fine,” she said, turning and taking it to the table.

“You have good timing,” he said, putting on the oven mitts that were really too small for his large hands. Opening the oven, he drew out the chicken-and-rice dish.

“I guess I do. Can I help you at all? Get some water or something to drink with our meal?”

“Nah, I’ll get it. Why don’t you take a seat? My turn to serve you.” He set the dish on a trivet in the center of the rectangular table. Gray had put one plate at one end of the table and the other plate to the right of it. He wanted Sky close, not far away from him. He watched as she chose the seat on the side of the table. Her movements were slow, and he could see how cloudy her eyes were from the sleep. Good sleep. Badly needed sleep. Gray was always grateful when he could sleep without nightmares. At least Sky hadn’t had one yet.

Sky pulled the white linen napkin and placed it across her lap. If nothing else, Gray was quick and efficient. In no time, he’d put the steaming, delicious-smelling dish in front of her. He got rid of the oven mitts, dropping them on the granite counter, and pulled her salad from the fridge.

Sitting down, Gray placed the bowl near her plate. Her eyes widened a little as she stared at it.

“Is something wrong?”

She smiled a little. “That’s a huge salad, Gray. I’m not sure I can eat all of it.” Moved by his thoughtfulness, Sky saw he’d sprinkled tomatoes, sliced carrots and celery across the top of the greens.

“You’re underweight,” he growled, slipping a chicken breast onto his plate. He gave her one, as well.

“I just don’t have much appetite,” Sky protested, apology in her voice. She eyed the chicken breast and then spooned the fluffy brown rice onto her plate. It all smelled so good, though. She was wildly aware of how close she was to Gray. He wasn’t wearing his game face, either, and that helped her relax. She watched him enthusiastically dig into the meal and wished her appetite would return.

“Eat what you can,” Gray urged her gently. “In time, your PTSD symptoms will start to lessen, and you’ll be a little more hungry.” He saw the stressed look on her face as she stared at all the food on her plate.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Sky admitted, picking up the fork and knife, cutting into the juicy chicken breast. “I have good days and bad days.”

“That’s to be expected. You’re in the primary healing phase right now.” Gray wanted to change topics, give Sky something to look forward to. “We’re going to be riding a half a day, starting tomorrow morning,” he said. “Iris wants me to take you around the ranch and start getting you acquainted with the property.”

Maybe that would urge Sky to eat. When her eyes widened, he felt himself go hot with longing. Much to his chagrin, he felt himself growing hard. What a helluva situation. Gray forced control over himself. His desire for her wasn’t smart under the circumstances, yet this was the first time since losing Julia that he was actually interested in another woman sexually. Hell, this was going to be tougher than he’d anticipated being around Sky. After her ordeal, she wouldn’t be thinking about him in that way. Not at all.

“Seriously? Horseback riding?” Her heart opened with excitement.

“Yep,” Gray said, noticing she was beginning to eat. “You need to get the layout of the ranch. Then we’ll be back by lunch, and I’ll give you the grand tour of the wildlife center I run.”

“This sounds like a dream,” Sky said softly.

You’re a dream. But Gray kept the comment to himself, forcing himself to pay attention to his dinner and not Sky. Her cheeks had become infused with a pink color. Her eyes were such dark blue pools. Gray felt as if he could drown in them. And in her. His body was going crazy, and he wasn’t thinking clearly around Sky. Why?

“I think you’ve got the best job in the world,” Sky said. “You work with animals.”

He smiled a little, hearing the breathy quality of her voice. “My mother is a world expert of wolves. She’s got a degree in wildlife biology. I was raised around wolves and all kinds of other North American animals while growing up. She’s the one who suggested I try out for the job a year ago. I was lucky enough to get it.”

“What a charmed childhood,” she sighed.

“I was very lucky,” Gray agreed. He watched her begin to relax. The tension disappeared from the skin across her broad cheekbones, her Native American heritage on display. He found himself like a thief, wanting to absorb her into him. Sky’s blue eyes were slightly tilted, giving her an exotic or mysterious look. “What about you, Sky? Tell me about your parents.”

“My mother stays at home. She has a small cottage business and creates one-of-a-kind gorgeous elk-and deerskin bags. She beads them.” Sky turned pensive. “She taught me to bead when I was about ten years old. She makes incredibly intricate flower designs.”

“And your father?” Gray saw her enthusiasm wane a little.

“My father was in the Marine Corps for four years. When he got out, he went to cooking school for four years and became a chef. Then he came back here to Wyoming and met my mom.”

“I’ll bet he was proud of your Navy service.”

Shrugging, Sky picked at her salad. “I guess.”

“Was he unhappy you didn’t join the Marine Corps instead?” There was a lot of challenge and testing between the Navy and the Corps.

“No, not really.”

Gray frowned. “You look sad, Sky.”

“I must be really easy to read.” She cut him a glance. When his mouth curved faintly, all she could think about in that moment was gently touching that full lower lip of his and exploring it with her index finger. Gray had a beautiful mouth. And her instinct told her he would be a good kisser.

“SEAL intuition at work,” Gray teased, wanting to keep her relaxed and open. “Was I wrong?”

Shaking her head, Sky muttered, “No.”

“I imagine your parents were beside themselves when they found out you’d been captured.” He saw her brows dip, her fork suspended in midair for a moment.

“Yes, I found out later after they transferred me back stateside, and I could talk to them via phone, that they had been sick with worry.”

“Were they able to come out and visit you while you were recovering in the hospital?” Gray had been wounded before and knew how boring and lonely it was to be in a hospital half a globe away from his family.

“I—I didn’t encourage them to come and see me at Balboa Naval Hospital.” She gave a small shrug. “I was an emotional basket case, Gray. I just wasn’t myself... I felt so out of control.”

Sky was closing up on him. Though he wanted to reach out and touch her, give her some care, Gray forced his hands to remain right where they were. Time to switch topics. “The first time I got wounded,” Gray confided quietly, “I woke up and found myself at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany.”

“Gunshot wound?” Sky winced inwardly when he nodded. Gray seemed so strong and vital, as if nothing could harm him. Yet as she saw the darker brown in his eyes, she began to understand that when he was emotionally upset about something, that color was more prominent.

“Yeah.” Gray finished off his chicken breast and the rest of the rice. Pushing the plate aside, he said, “I was with a good team. Kell Ballard was the lead petty officer. We were going in to rescue an American doctor who’d gotten kidnapped by the Taliban. It was a night mission, and I took a bullet to the left arm during the op. Kell saved my life. I was bleeding like a stuck hog from a torn artery, and he got a tourniquet around my arm. I don’t remember much after that, passing out.”

Taking in a slow, ragged breath, Sky understood those types of wounds. “I saw my fair share of them at Bagram.” She lifted her gaze and held his turbulent-looking eyes. “Do you have any residual issues from the wound?”

“No, not enough to get me medically discharged from the Navy,” he admitted.

“Did you like being a SEAL?”

“I liked being a shooter, and I was good at what I did.” He didn’t want to go any further with his life as a SEAL. Gray patted his thigh. “Later, I took another bullet. It took out fifty percent of my femur in the area where it struck. Even though I healed up, my leg was never going to be as strong as before and take the weight and beating it could before. My days with the SEALs were over at that point.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sky whispered, seeing the sadness in his eyes. “SEALs are special. They’re a tight group of men. I’m sure your platoon were like brothers to you.”

“They still are,” Gray said, always feeling the loss. “We stay in touch with one another to this day.”

Sky began to eat again. “So, you’ve been out for just a year? After being discharged, you got the job here?”

It was his turn to feel under a microscope. Gray clasped his hands on the table. “I got out three years ago.” Hoping to avoid more questions, he added, “I took a contractor’s job down in Peru for a little while. After that, I came home to Wyoming. My mother had been working with Iris Mason on the wildlife-center concept. She suggested me to run the facility for Iris, and the rest is history.”

Sky sensed trepidation and grief around Gray. It was mirrored deep in his eyes. Nothing obvious. But there was a heaviness, much like a deep, untended wound in him. “Were you worried about finding a job when you got discharged? I know I was.”

“Like every vet, yes, I was. I was worried about my money I’d saved drying up while I tried to find something. If I hadn’t had my mother’s lead on this job, I’m not sure how long it would have taken to find work. Did you have the same problem?”

Groaning, Sky nodded. “I left the hospital and drove home to my parents’ place. I tried working as an R.N. at the local hospital, but the stress was too much for me.” She hitched her shoulder and whispered, “It was my PTSD. After that, I tried for any job that would hire me. I worked at a fast-food place, but again, the stress made me quit. I just couldn’t handle it, Gray.”

“PTSD does that,” he agreed gently, seeing the shame in her expression.

“My mother understood. But my father doesn’t to this day. He said it was all up in my head.”

Anger flared within Gray. He stared disbelievingly at her. “He said that?” Tension thrummed within him as he saw the devastation in Sky’s eyes. She could hide nothing from him.

“Yes. I just stood there looking at my dad, stunned. Wondering if he’d ever been tortured...ever been so scared of dying...” And she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it.

“I know what it’s like to be scared,” he said.

“You were a SEAL. You guys are always in danger. What you do could get you killed on any given day.”

Gray nodded. “Right on. But it’s different for you, Sky. I don’t think most women in the military ever think about the possibility of capture.” Or being tortured. He wanted to tread lightly on the subject, but felt starved to know exactly what had happened to Sky.

The only physical clues he could find were new, pink scars around her wrists. If she’d been waterboarded, Gray would bet his life she also had scars around her ankles. They tied the person down on a wooden board, cuffing their wrists and ankles. And knowing the Taliban like he did, they probably threw chains around her extremities, not caring if her flesh was ripped bloody as they dropped a cloth on her face and then poured water through it, suffocating her in the process.

Sky moved her fingers in an aggravated motion through her loose hair. “No...I never, ever thought about capture or—” her voice lowered with pain “—torture.”

He could see he’d pushed her far enough. There would be other days maybe, when Sky was emotionally stronger, that he could approach the topic with her again. “Hey, I made some chocolate pudding for dessert.” He rose in one fluid motion, picking up their plates. Giving her a warm smile, he asked, “Interested?”

His smile was like hot sunlight through her icy gut and heavily beating heart. Just talking about her capture sent adrenaline spiking into her bloodstream, still too fresh, like an open wound in her soul.

“Come on. You did a good job of eating,” Gray coaxed her. Indeed, she’d finished half the chicken breast, most of the rice and all of the salad. Not bad for someone who said they weren’t hungry. Gray gave her a pleading look and saw her resistance melt.

“Well...I’ll try a little....”

“I’m sorry I upset you,” Gray murmured, meaning it. “I’ll be back in a minute. Would you like some coffee? Water? Tea?”

Water. Sky jerked inwardly. Even the word made her feel terror. Sky was unhappy with her overreactions, and yet she couldn’t stop or control them. “Coffee.”

“Cream? Sugar?”

“Both.”

“You like it sweet and blond.”

Rallying beneath his warm teasing, she felt Gray’s caressing care and protectiveness descending over her like an invisible blanket. The sensation was so comforting that Sky took a long, deep breath, feeling the adrenaline fading in her bloodstream. She began to relax. “That’s a Navy saying.”

“Yep, sure is,” he said.

Sky watched him work quickly and efficiently in the kitchen. There was never a wasted motion to Gray. Shockingly, she felt sexually hungry. It was a welcome sign that showed her she was healing from the capture. Sky had given up ever feeling normal in any way again. She wondered if Gray was in a relationship. Val had told her he was single. It was beyond her to think Gray would be eligible. Why was she thinking in that direction at all? He was her boss. It wasn’t good to mix personal with professional, and Sky needed this job too much to risk it.

“Here you go.” Gray leaned over, handing her a white mug of steaming coffee. He placed a small bowl of chocolate pudding in front of her. He sat down, wrapping his hands around his mug.

“Thanks.” Sky sipped the sweet coffee. “You’re a much better cook than you led me to believe.”

“I reached my limit tonight, believe me.”

“I think people are more than what they believe they are,” she said, picking up the spoon and tasting the rich chocolate pudding.

“You’re a philosopher, too.”

Coloring, Sky gave him a pained look. “Me? No.”

“You have good insight into people. Maybe because you’re a nurse?”

“My mother is the deep philosopher,” Sky assured him. “And yes, you can’t be around wounded or sick people and not employ a little psychology.” She slid her fingers around the mug, absorbing the warmth. “That and a lot of compassion.”

Gray nodded and sipped his coffee. They talked as if they were old, longtime friends. Their connection reminded him of his days with his SEAL buddies. Maybe it was because Sky was a people person, loved helping others and clearly was compassionate. When a person cared, others knew it. He tried not to glance down at her hands because every time he did, he tried to imagine what they would feel like grazing his flesh. Completely inappropriate. Foolhardy. Crazy. “Maybe one of these days, you can return to the field of nursing,” he said.

“I honestly want to,” Sky admitted. “Maybe E.R. is too much for me now. I was thinking of switching to obstetrics. I love babies and children so much,” she said, her voice growing soft. “In school, I learned all areas of nursing. I would just have to be oriented to the obstetrics unit and have some in-house classroom training, but I think it’s what I’d like to do someday. I could look into it when I feel I can handle being back in a hospital setting.”

“Well, you’ll have babies and children galore around here,” Gray said, smiling.

Sky smiled dreamily. “I just love the babies. Holding them. Smelling their sweet smell, watching them watch the world around them...”

“Why didn’t you go into obstetrics in the first place?” Gray wondered.

“At the time I was a risk taker,” Sky admitted, shaking her head. “My father was a chef at a big cattle ranch, and I grew up around horses and wranglers and cattle. I was a real wild child, barefoot, daring, and I loved challenges.”

Gray felt her happiness and saw it reflected in the pools of her eyes. “You’ll do your fair share of riding around here.”

“Bring it on.”

“Maybe this job will help bring you out of the closet you got put into,” Gray said. “Riding in nature to me is a dream come true. I’d rather be outside than indoors.”

“I feel the same way,” Sky agreed, finishing her coffee. She felt tired again, knowing that she was sleep deprived. “Can I help you clean up in the kitchen? Wash dishes?”

“No,” Gray said, standing. “We have a dishwasher, and I’ll take care of things out here.”

Standing, Sky looked around the living room. There was a large television on the wall, comfortable chairs and a coffee table between two huge leather couches. “Listen, I’m turning in early.”

“You need more sleep,” Gray agreed.

“What time do we go riding tomorrow morning?”

Gray smiled a little after putting the cups in the sink. “I’m up at 5:00 a.m. to feed the animals, but you don’t have to be. Why don’t I meet you here for breakfast at 8:00? Then we can get our horses saddled and take off.”

“I love the idea of spending time in the saddle.” Sky felt her heart open, fierce emotions flooding her. “Gray...you’ve been so kind. Thank you for everything....”

Gray leaned against the counter, arms across his chest. Right now Sky appeared vulnerable. He knew the look because he’d seen it in other SEALs and had gone through it himself. It was when a person had chronic sleep deprivation, was stressed to the max and had no downtime to recoup. “Listen,” he said, “your first order of business is to get rested up. That’s number one. We’ll take your days ahead one at a time, Sky. Fair enough?”

“Yes.” She worried her lower lip and started to turn away. Then she halted and forced herself to meet his shadowed gaze. “Gray? I might have nightmares—”

“Don’t worry. I have them, too.”

“I might wake you. I scream...”

He wanted to kill the bastards who had done this to her. Forcing his reaction deep so she couldn’t possibly sense it, he rasped, “I’m here if you need me. Okay? You don’t have to go through this alone anymore, Sky. Got it?”

CHAPTER FIVE

THE NIGHTMARE BEGAN INSIDIOUSLY, like it always did. The blackness surrounded Sky. She felt the icy coldness of the Hindu Kush night as the Taliban dragged her and Dr. Aaron Zimmerman from the crash to a nearby cave. Everything was so dark. Sky was semiconscious, blood running down from beneath the helmet she wore, blinding her left eye. She heard the enemy speaking in Pashto, the words angry and sharp. Felt the men who half dragged her tighten their grip like talons around her upper arms until she cried out in pain.