The Courage To Dream and The Power Of Love
“I doubt you’ll get him to agree. All he wants to do lately is stay in his room and listen to music.”
“Does he like music?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe he could join the church choir. I’m the director. The children perform at the early service and the adults at the later one.”
Rebecca stiffened, her jaw clenching. “You sound like a busy man. When do you have time for yourself?”
“Baseball and music are things I do for myself.”
“Rebecca, you should see the children perform at church. Ever since Gabriel took over a few years back, the crowd of people attending our service has doubled. The choir is wonderful, and Gabriel’s quite a singer. Rebecca used to be in her church’s choir in Dallas.”
He dropped his gaze from Rebecca’s face, feeling the heat of a blush tinge his cheeks. He had never been comfortable with compliments. Singing was a gift God had given him, and he wanted to share it with others, use it to spread His word. God had been his salvation when he had hit bottom after his wife and child died.
Gabriel shifted in his chair. “We could always use another voice. Even if Peter doesn’t want to sing, you’re certainly welcome to join the adult choir.”
Rebecca came to her feet. Feelings of being railroaded into doing something she wasn’t ready to handle overwhelmed her. She had forgotten about how small towns were. All she wanted to do was hide and lick her wounds. She was afraid people like Gabriel wouldn’t allow her to. “I think I hear Josh crying,” she murmured and rushed from the room.
“I didn’t hear anything,” Gabriel said, frowning, not sure what had just happened.
Rose opened a can of kidney beans and one of tomatoes, then dumped the contents of both into the skillet. “I guess I shouldn’t have pushed. Rebecca’s faith has been shaken ever since Craig left her. I know I’m supposed to forgive that man for what he did to my family, but I’m having a hard time. He walked out on Rebecca, Peter and Josh when they needed him the most. All he left her was a note on her pillow. She woke up one morning, and her marriage of twelve years was over.” Rose snapped her fingers. “Just like that.”
How could a man walk out on his family? Gabriel wondered, continually surprised by how easily some people discarded their children and wives when he would give anything to have a family. Memories of his loss engulfed him. Pain constricted his chest, making it difficult to breathe. In a few seconds, three years before, his whole life had been changed because a man had decided to drink and drive.
Gabriel started to say something when he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. When Rebecca entered, she held a baby in her arms close to her chest. She placed the child in a swing set up in the corner, adjusted some tiny pillows to prop the boy up, then started it. When Gabriel saw Josh’s features, he knew something was wrong.
Rebecca caught him staring at the child. “My son has Down’s syndrome. His second birthday will be in six weeks, and yet he doesn’t look a day over one.”
Gabriel didn’t know what to say to her announcement. She made it sound almost a challenge. Was the child the reason her husband had left? If so, how could he turn his back on one of God’s creations? He would have given anything to be able to hold his own son, to cradle him to his chest. That wasn’t possible, never would be.
“I hope you’re planning a big party. Birthdays are important to children,” Gabriel said, as though he was an expert on children when he had never really experienced the joys of fatherhood. His son had only lived a few hours. A tightness gripped his throat.
Rebecca went to the cabinet to get bowls. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. I’ve been a little preoccupied lately with the move and all.” She heard the defensive tone in her voice and winced as she withdrew the bowls and closed the cabinet door.
“If you need any help—”
“No, I’m fine.” She cut in, not wanting to hear his offer of assistance when she had never been able to get Craig even to change Josh’s diaper. Again she experienced the stifling need to be alone to deal with the emotions threatening to overpower her. If it had been possible, she would have been better off staying in Dallas where she could get lost in a crowd.
“Rebecca!” Granny turned from the stove with the wooden spoon in her hand and a frown of disapproval on her face.
Rebecca immediately regretted her cool interruption. She attempted a smile that she knew didn’t reach her eyes and said, “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“Go get Peter. Gabriel will set the table for us,” her grandmother interjected.
Thankful to escape the kindness she glimpsed in Gabriel’s dark eyes, she rushed from the kitchen and didn’t slow her step until she was upstairs and outside Peter’s bedroom. Pausing, she inhaled a steadying breath, then knocked on his door.
All she heard coming from the room was the blare of music. She knocked again, louder.
The door swung open, and Peter scowled at her. “I’m not hungry.”
“Then you don’t have to eat. But you do have to come down to dinner and sit while we eat. We have a guest tonight.”
“Who?”
“Chief Stone.”
Her son set his mouth in a firm line. She didn’t know if she had the strength to fight him if he refused to come downstairs. She did need help, but she was alone in this world except for her grandmother whom she didn’t want to burden with her problems. Granny wasn’t in the best of health, having suffered a mild stroke several years before.
Peter pushed past her and stomped down the stairs. Rebecca released her pent-up breath, then took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. She needed to believe everything would work out, but each day she felt the weight on her shoulders growing.
Tears sprang into her eyes. She swiped at one that rolled down her cheek. She didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself. Both Josh and Peter depended on her. Somehow she would hold this family together.
When she entered the kitchen and saw Gabriel sitting at the head of the kitchen table, she came to a halt inside the doorway. He looked at home, holding Josh, supporting his small body in the curve of his arm. Her heart slowed, then began to race at the sight of him smiling at her son. Josh smiled at Gabriel. The large, muscular man dwarfed her son, but the picture of the two of them seemed so right that Rebecca blinked as if she had been caught daydreaming the impossible.
For a few seconds Rebecca allowed herself to wonder how it would feel to have a man like Gabriel Stone supporting her emotionally, loving her children. She shook the thought from her mind. She could only depend on herself to keep this family together.
Chapter Two
“He wanted out of the swing when it stopped,” Gabriel said, looking at her.
“Thank you for taking care of him,” she murmured, retrieving her son from Gabriel and putting Josh into his high chair, again propping him with pillows so he could sit up. He was starting to support his weight, but he was still having trouble maintaining his balance for any length of time.
“There’s a child in the church choir with Down’s syndrome. He loves music.”
“Josh does, too.” Rebecca snapped on his bib.
Rose sat at the other end of the table, forcing Rebecca to take the chair next to Gabriel. “Let’s join hands. Gabriel, will you give the blessing?”
Rebecca took Josh’s tiny hand and Gabriel’s larger one. The touch of Gabriel’s fingers about hers sent warmth up her arm. The link felt natural and right. That surprised her.
“Heavenly Father, we come to this table to offer our thanks for this wonderful food. Please watch over us and give us the strength to deal with our problems.”
The devotion in his voice gave Rebecca a sense of peace for the first time that day. She relished the blessing and wished she could feel that kind of love and faith again.
While Rose spooned chili into a bowl, then passed it to Peter, Rebecca fed Josh his baby food, mashed bananas and roast beef, two of his favorites. She introduced another food, strained carrots. He made a face and spit the carrots out. She dabbed at the orange that ran down his chin.
“Way to go, Josh. I hate carrots, too,” Peter said, the first enthusiasm he had shown all day.
“So far, I haven’t been able to find too many vegetables he likes.” Rebecca tried another spoonful of carrots, which Josh immediately rejected.
“Have you tried mixing the bananas with the carrots and seeing if he’ll eat that?” Gabriel set a chili bowl in front of Rebecca.
“Well, no. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” Rebecca dipped her spoon into the bananas and scooped some into the carrots. She wrinkled her nose at the mixture of light yellow and orange swirls.
When she fed Josh some of the new mixture, he kept most of it in his mouth. She gave him another spoonful, and he ate that, too.
“This might work with other vegetables, too. Thank you for the suggestion.” Rebecca looked toward Gabriel.
His dark gaze caught hers and held it. “Anytime.”
“Do you have any children?” she asked, realizing she knew nothing about this man and in many ways wished she did.
“No. Judy and I always wanted a whole house full.” Pain flitted across his features for a few seconds before he managed to conceal his emotions.
“Judy is your wife?” Rebecca glimpsed a wedding ring on his left hand.
“She died three years ago.” He touched his wedding ring, twisting it on his finger. “We had hoped to start a family when we moved here. It never happened.”
“But he’s determined to make up for that. He takes every child he can under his wing.” Rose sipped water, her eyes twinkling.
Here was a man who had wanted children but didn’t have any while her husband hadn’t wanted to care for his two sons. Life wasn’t fair, Rebecca thought, a constriction in her throat making it impossible to say another word. She dropped her gaze and continued to feed Josh.
A few minutes later Gabriel asked, “May I try that? You haven’t had a chance to eat any of this great chili yet.”
Rebecca hid her surprise at his request. She had always been the one to feed Josh. It was her responsibility, and she hadn’t asked anyone else to do it. “I guess so.”
“I’ve been watching you. I think I’ve got your technique down,” he said with a sparkle in his dark brown eyes.
She blushed at the idea that he had been watching what she’d been doing. The thought unnerved her more than she cared to think about.
“Eat while I finish up with this roast beef and banana-carrot combo.”
Rebecca delved into the chili, filling her bowl with the delicious-smelling food. She was starved and hadn’t realized it until she started eating. While she savored her meal, she watched Gabriel make a game of feeding her son. Josh smiled and cooed. Why couldn’t this have been Craig enjoying his child?
“You know, Peter,” Gabriel said while pretending to be a dive bomber coming in for a landing in Josh’s mouth, “I noticed how fast you were running into the house. Have you ever thought about being on a baseball team?”
“Nope. I have better things to do after school.”
“It does require a lot of time. It takes quite a commitment for a young man.”
The challenge in Gabriel’s voice dared Peter to accept. Her eldest straightened, his eyes becoming pinpoints. Peter didn’t say anything, but he studied the police chief as though he wasn’t quite sure what to make of the man.
At the end of the meal Gabriel wiped Josh’s mouth. “Rose, that’s the best food I’ve had in a long time. Thank you for inviting me to dinner.”
“You’re welcome.” Rose gripped her cane and struggled to her feet. “Josh, Peter and I are going to retire to the living room while you two clean up. Peter, will you carry him for me?”
“Sure, Granny.” Peter carefully picked up Josh and followed his great-grandmother out of the room. “It’s time for us to practice, Josh, my man.”
Rebecca started taking dishes to the sink. “You don’t have to help. I can take care of this mess if you need to leave.”
“No. I told Rose I would help, and I always follow through on what I say.” Gabriel brought several bowls and glasses to the counter.
While she rinsed the dishes, he put them into the dishwasher. They worked side by side in a silence that Rebecca didn’t find awkward. A sense of teamwork eased any tension she experienced from his nearness. She usually felt the need to fill the void in a conversation with chitchat, but for some reason she didn’t with Gabriel. Another surprise, she thought.
When she was through with the dishes, she noticed that it was dark outside the window over the sink. She reached to pull the shade down at the same time Gabriel turned toward her. Their arms grazed. Again that sense of warmth fanned from his touch. Startled by the brief contact, she flinched.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you,” he said with a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, lending an appealing attraction to his tanned features.
“No problem.” Rebecca yanked on the cord to lower the shade, then wrung out the washcloth to wipe the table and counters.
She felt Gabriel’s gaze on her while she worked. The thought of him watching her made her heart beat faster. The silence between them hummed with alarming undercurrents. Her battered emotions were too raw for anything but friendship between them, if even that.
“I’m just about through in here if you want to go into the living room and join the others,” she said, aware that her hands quivered.
He lounged against the counter, his stance casual, relaxed. “I’ll wait. Can I help with anything else?”
She shook her head while she hurried the cleaning, the nape of her neck tingling where she imagined him staring.
“May I ask you a question?”
She pivoted toward him, clasping the edge of the kitchen table she had been wiping. Her legs felt weak, as though the strength had suddenly been siphoned from them. “Shoot.” She laughed nervously. “Maybe I shouldn’t say that to a policeman.”
That warm smile of his touched his mouth again. “Josh doesn’t just have Down’s syndrome, he has something else wrong with him, doesn’t he?”
Her grip tightened until her knuckles turned white. “Yes. He has spina bifida. His spine isn’t developed. The doctors told me that he would never walk, talk or do anything.”
“I’m sorry. That has to be hard on you.”
Rebecca stared into his troubled gaze for a long moment, then shoved away from the table and draped the washcloth over the edge of the sink. “It’s harder on Josh,” she finally said as she headed for the living room.
She came to a stop in the doorway, aware that Gabriel was right behind her, looking over her shoulder. Peter clasped Josh under the arms and was helping him across the carpet. Tears returned to block her throat. Every night Peter practiced “walking” with Josh. Her oldest son was determined that Josh would one day play sports with him. That, according to the doctors, would never happen, and she didn’t have the heart to tell Peter.
Gabriel set his hands on her shoulders and leaned close to whisper, “You’re lucky to have such a nice family.”
The wistful tone in his voice made Rebecca ache for what he must have lost when his wife died. His words helped her focus on what was right with her life. “Yes, thank you for reminding me of that.”
When he dropped his hands, she immediately missed the warmth of his touch.
Through the fog of sleep, Rebecca heard the doorbell ringing. She dragged herself out of bed, slipped on her robe, then hurried to the front door. She peered out the peephole and saw Gabriel Stone. Why was he here at this hour? Then a thought struck her, and she quickly opened the door. Standing next to the police chief was Peter, for a second time in one day wearing a defiant expression on his face.
“Sorry to bother you at such a late hour, but I found your son running from a house that had just been egged.”
“Whose house?”
“Mine.”
“Peter Michaels, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Her son looked away, his frown deepening, his mouth pinched as though he wouldn’t say a word no matter what.
A chill swept her. Rebecca pulled her terry-cloth robe tighter about her and stepped to the side. “Please come in. I don’t want to discuss this out on the porch for the whole town to hear.”
Gabriel made sure that Peter entered the house before he came inside. “I’m willing to forget this incident. Since tomorrow’s Saturday Peter can come by my house to clean up the mess.”
“He’ll be there. And when he’s through cleaning up the eggs, he can do some other chores for you.”
“I’ll take care of my mess, but that’s all.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest, his features arranged in a stubborn expression.
Rebecca drew in a deep, bracing breath, so tired from no sleep and unpacking that all she wanted to do was collapse into a chair to have this discussion with her son. She gripped the banister, using it to support her weight. “That’s not debatable.” She looked toward Gabriel. “What time do you want us there?”
“Eight will be fine, if that’s not too early for you.”
“Are you kidding? I’m up at the crack of dawn with Josh.”
“You can’t make me!” Peter shouted, running up the stairs. “I won’t go!”
Rebecca’s first instinct was to hurry after her eldest, but when she heard his bedroom door slam shut, she winced and decided it wouldn’t do any good. She might say something she would regret, because at the moment her patience was worn thin.
“I’m sorry, Rebecca. I hated to have to bring him home this way and at such an hour.”
She shook her head. “You did the only thing you could. I didn’t even know he was gone. He’s never sneaked out before.” She attempted a smile that she knew faltered. “At least not that I’m aware of. I’m afraid lately I don’t know what my son is thinking or doing.” She ran her hand through her hair, suddenly conscious of the fact that she must look a mess.
Gabriel smiled. “He’ll come around when he gets used to Oakview. It’s hard moving to a new town.”
“We used to be very close until…” Rebecca couldn’t finish the thought. She was tired of thinking about the past and what used to be.
“You don’t have to come tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure Peter does what he needs to do and I’ll put him to work after he cleans up the eggs.”
Rebecca straightened from the banister. “Peter’s my problem, not yours. We’ll be there tomorrow morning at eight sharp.”
“If you need any help—”
“I appreciate the kind offer, but I’m fine.” Rebecca walked to the front door and opened it.
Gabriel paused in the entrance and turned to say something but stopped when he saw her standing so proud and untouchable. She didn’t know how to accept his help, and he wouldn’t make things worse by saying anything else to her. She had enough to deal with. But it didn’t stop his desire to wipe the sadness from her eyes.
He nodded, murmured, “Till tomorrow,” and strode away from her house.
He climbed into the squad car and sat for a few minutes staring at a light in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The silence of the night soothed him, and he bowed his head. “Please, Lord, give me the guidance I need to help Rebecca and her children.” He closed his eyes, drawing strength from the knowledge that He would be with him, that He would show him how to help Rebecca, Peter and Josh.
When Gabriel started the car, he felt calm, at peace as he always did after he communicated with God. He started to back out of the driveway when the radio sounded in the quiet. He responded to the call from the station, knowing it wouldn’t be good.
“Stone here.”
“There has been some vandalism at the school baseball field. Thought you might want to know, sir. I called your house, and when there wasn’t an answer, I thought you might be out.”
“Thanks, Bob. I’ll head over there and take a look.”
When Gabriel arrived at the baseball field, he immediately noticed the large window on the side of the main building was shattered. Taking his flashlight, he checked the area outside before shining the light through the smashed window, glass shards glittering on the concrete floor. Relieved to find the inside undisturbed, he headed for the front to have a closer look around. By the door he stepped on a broken egg in the gravel.
Peter Michaels. Of course, he had no proof the damage had been done by the boy, but he would stake his career on it. Peter might not realize it, but Gabriel could tell when someone was crying out for help and he intended to give the boy that help, starting first thing tomorrow morning.
Rebecca pushed the bell again and heard its blare so she knew it was working. Suddenly the door jerked open, and she automatically stepped back. Gabriel with messed-up hair and a day’s growth of beard greeted her with a puzzled look.
“What time is it?” he asked, combing his fingers through his conservatively styled black hair.
“Eight.” She curled her fingers around the handle of the stroller that held Josh, staring at the overpowering man who had haphazardly dressed in a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt but no shoes.
Gabriel glanced at his watch. “I must have slept through my alarm. Sorry. Got to bed later than usual last night. There was a break-in at the baseball field.” He directed his gaze toward Peter, who stood next to Rebecca.
She looked from the man to the boy, wondering if something was going on. Could Peter have been involved with the break-in? She hoped not, because if that was the case she had a bigger problem than her child not liking Oakview. “Peter, did you do anything else last night besides egg Chief Stone’s house?”
The boy’s bottom lip stuck out, and he stared at a point by his shoes. “What do you think I am? Stupid?”
“No. On the contrary, I think you’re very smart,” Rebecca replied, realizing her son hadn’t answered her question. From his expression she also realized she wouldn’t get an answer out of him.
“Come inside while I put some coffee on. I have to have at least a cup before I can start functioning in the morning.” Gabriel moved to allow them entrance into his home.
Rebecca hesitated. She had only come with Peter to make sure he showed up. After a confrontation in his bedroom, she couldn’t be sure of anything with her son.
“My coffee isn’t as good as Rose’s, but it’s not too bad.” Gabriel waved them inside.
Rebecca picked up Josh and followed Peter into the house, trying to dismiss her eldest son’s anger. When she’d grounded him for shouting at her earlier, he had laughed as though what she had said meant nothing to him.
“Have you all had breakfast?”
“Granny won’t let anyone leave without a proper start to the day, as she refers to breakfast.” Rebecca held Josh close, comforted by his presence.
“Has she fixed you her cinnamon rolls yet?”
“Last Sunday. When I woke up, the house smelled of cinnamon and baking bread.”
“What a wonderful way to start the Lord’s day.”
Rebecca glanced around at the house as she walked toward the back. His living room looked comfortable, with a navy and burgundy plaid couch, large pillows and stacks of magazines and books. She pictured him stretched out in his navy blue recliner, reading a book while a fire blazed in the fireplace and soft music played in the background. His home reflected the man, comfortable and laid-back.
“Have a seat while I put the coffee on.”
Rebecca settled herself at the kitchen table, made of sturdy oak with enough chairs to seat a family of six. She placed Josh on her lap, pleased to see her youngest son show interest in his surroundings. Light streamed through the large window over the sink. She smiled, thinking it was appropriate for a lawman to decorate in red, white and blue.
Peter remained by the doorway into the kitchen, such anger on his face that Gabriel wished again for a magic answer on how to help the Michaels family. Keep the faith. God has His own timetable, he reminded himself as he sat across from Rebecca. The answer will come when the time is right.