Diagnosis: Daddy
“You needed the rest.”
“Yeah, I feel better. Good enough that I might go out for pizza or something tonight. It’s been days since I’ve been out of the house other than to go to class or lab. Want to join me?”
For some reason, it irked her a little that he just assumed she would be free to join him on such short notice. Even though normally she would have been. And would have accepted the last-minute invitation. “I’m sorry, I can’t tonight. I have a date.”
There was a distinct pause before he responded. “Yeah? Anyone I know?”
“Not even anyone I know. Natalie set me up with someone.”
“Oh. You, um, trust Natalie’s taste in guys?”
“I guess I’ll find that out tonight.”
“Yeah. I suppose I need to let you get ready. I hope you have a good time.”
“I’ll certainly try. Thanks. And congratulations on surviving the exams.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure. Later.”
She disconnected the call with a frown. That had been a bit weird. Connor had actually seemed disapproving that she was going out on a blind date. Surely he wasn’t annoyed that she’d been unavailable to have pizza with him. If so, then maybe it was time she stopped being quite so available for Connor. Maybe he was starting to take her a bit too much for granted.
Resolutely, she turned to the mirror to finish applying fresh makeup. Tonight could be fun, she reminded herself. This guy Natalie had found for her could be very nice, she could have a great time, they might even want to see each other again. She should really be looking forward to this date.
Unfortunately, she was too keenly aware that she would much rather have been free to go out for pizza with Connor.
Connor joined four of his classmates for a study session Saturday morning. The five of them had met several times to study together during this first semester of medical school. They seemed to click as a group, and their learning styles meshed well. He liked them all and enjoyed working with them, although sometimes he just needed to study alone. Or with Mia.
The thought of Mia made him frown. He wondered how her date had gone the night before.
He was undoubtedly a selfish jerk. He should be pleased that she’d had the chance to go out and have a good time. Like him, Mia tended to be a workaholic. When she wasn’t actually teaching, she was preparing for classes or grading papers or doing something nice for a friend. It was rare that she took advantage of an evening just to indulge herself. And while he suspected that her double date last night had been a favor to Natalie, he should still be hoping that she’d had a great time.
Instead, he found himself worrying that she’d had too good a time. For all he knew, she could be with that guy right now. Laughing and flirting and…well, whatever. And he was trying to study, wishing she were with him to light his house with her smile, to cheerfully nag him into eating and taking breaks, to reassure him that he could survive this training and that all the effort and sacrifice would pay off someday.
He really was selfish, he thought again, shaking his head in disapproval. Mia deserved so much more than the distracted friendship that was all he could offer her at the moment. Of course, she had big plans of her own. Grad school was going to take a great deal of her time and energy. Did she really want to start a new romance with this guy Natalie had scrounged up now and risk jeopardizing her own carefully worked-out agenda?
He winced as he realized that he was merely rationalizing his desire for her to stay as single and unattached as he was.
“Hey, Connor. Come on, man, get with the program. You’ve been a zombie all afternoon.”
Connor met Ron Gibson’s quizzical gaze apologetically. “I know. Sorry. I think I might be on study overload.”
“Who isn’t?” Anne Easton asked with a weary sigh. She pushed her pale blond hair out of her face, which was bare of makeup today, making her look even younger than her twenty-three years. Anne was the youngest of the group; Connor was the eldest.
“Anyone want a soda?” James Stillman, their host for today, pushed himself out of his chair at the table and moved toward the fridge. Of all of them, the material came the easiest to James. Maybe because at only twenty-six, he had already obtained a doctorate in microbiology before deciding to attend medical school.
Connor didn’t know why James hadn’t gone the M.D./Ph.D. route, which would have allowed him to pursue the degrees simultaneously, but he supposed James had simply changed his mind about which career he wanted. While Connor liked James, he had a hard time reading him. Brilliant and affable, James revealed little about himself, even to this group who had become his friends.
“Toss a soda this way,” Ron accepted with one of his quick grins. Twenty-five-year-old Ron had messy brown hair, smiling brown eyes, a contagious grin bracketed by dimples and an irrepressible sense of humor that somehow survived even the most grueling session.
Haley Wright, the final member of the group, often grew exasperated with Ron, asking if he took anything seriously. To which Ron always replied, “Only having fun, kiddo. I always take that seriously.”
It was a wonder, really, that Ron had fallen in with this generally more-serious group. And yet somehow he, too, just seemed to fit in naturally.
“I’d take some more coffee,” Connor said, standing with his empty mug. “I’ll get it.”
Haley followed him with her own coffee mug, and Anne made herself a second cup of herbal tea. Always the gracious host, James provided everything they needed when they met at his tidy apartment. They’d already devoured the pizzas he’d had delivered at noon. A plate of cookies and a bowl of candy sat in the middle of the paper-strewn, round oak table where they studied, in case anyone needed a sugar jolt.
Popping the top of his soda can, Ron studied Connor’s face. “So, is there anything in particular bugging you today? You’re not all that worried about the histology exam Monday, are you?”
“I worry about all the exams,” Connor answered drily. “But no more for this one than the others. I guess I really am just tired.”
“A few more weeks until Thanksgiving,” Haley said with a wistful sigh. “Four whole days with no classes or exams. I’m keeping a countdown to give myself incentive until then.”
Twenty-six-year-old Haley had honey hair, amber eyes and a firmly pointed little chin that was evidence of her tenacious personality. She was the cheerleader of the group, the one who kept everyone else encouraged and on track. She was the one who called when she sensed they were down, who prodded when she thought they were slacking off, who seemed most delighted when they did well.
Anne, on the other hand, was probably the most competitive of them all. Not because she had a desire to show them up or to always be the best, Connor had decided, but because she seemed to have a need to prove something. To herself? To her family? He didn’t know, but he worried about her sometimes. He thought she needed to cut herself a little slack, to allow for mistakes and failures rather than always demanding perfection of herself. She was going to burn out fast if she didn’t relax a little, he feared.
As for himself—he just wanted to make it through the first semester. And then the seven semesters after that, one milestone at a time, until he finally held that diploma he’d wanted for so long.
He’d sacrificed a hell of a lot to get to this point, he thought grimly. Thinking again about Mia’s date last night, he found himself wondering incongruously if maybe he’d sacrificed too much.
“Okay, guys, back to work,” Haley ordered, reaching for a study sheet. “I’ll quiz this time.”
It was just after four that afternoon when Connor let himself into his house. Just as he closed the door behind him, his telephone rang. He nearly stumbled over himself in his rush to answer it, thinking it might be Mia. He was just casually curious about how her evening had gone, he assured himself even as he snatched up the phone without bothering to check the ID screen. “Hello?”
“Mr. Hayes? Connor Hayes?” It was a man’s voice, and one Connor didn’t recognize.
“Yes. Who is this?”
“My name is Art Haskell, Mr. Hayes. I’m an attorney and I have something rather significant to discuss with you. Would you be available to meet with me sometime this evening?”
Mia had just settled onto her couch to watch a television program when her doorbell rang at nine o’clock Saturday evening. Setting aside the remote, she automatically brushed a hand over her casual top and jeans as she moved to answer the summons. She wasn’t expecting anyone this late, so she checked the peep hole before she opened the door.
A bit surprised to find Connor on her doorstep, she let him in. “Well, hi,” she said. “This is an unexpected visit. Why didn’t you call? Have you had anything to eat?”
When he didn’t respond to her questions, she closed the door and looked at him more closely. What she saw in his face made her stomach clench. “Connor? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
His expression grim, his eyes looking shock-glazed, he swallowed visibly before answering. “I, um, I just came from a meeting with an attorney. I—”
Taking a deep breath, he shoved a hand through his hair before blurting, “I’m going to have to quit medical school.”
Chapter Two
Mia stared blankly at Connor, deciding she must have heard him wrong. Surely he hadn’t said he was quitting medical school. Not after all he’d gone through to get to this point. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“It’s sort of a long story.”
“I’ve got time.” Taking hold of his arm, she drew him to the couch. “Let me get you something to drink. Soda? Coffee?”
He shook his head, his expression still heartrending. “No.”
Sinking onto the couch beside him, she took his hands in hers. His fingers lay limply in her grasp and his skin felt cold. “Connor, you’re scaring me. What’s happened?”
His eyes met hers. “I got a call from an attorney this afternoon. He’d been trying to reach me for a couple hours, but I was with the study group. He asked if I could meet with him this evening at his office downtown.”
“On a Saturday evening?” She swallowed, thinking that sounded awfully serious. “What was the meeting about?”
He cleared his throat, as though searching for the right words. “I—There was this girl.”
She frowned.
“A girl from college,” he clarified. “We hooked up during my senior year. I was almost twenty-two, a few months from graduating. I’d been working pretty hard to earn my degree. Brandy was a—well, sort of a flake. Unpredictable. Impulsive. A little crazy, in a passionate, free-spirited sort of way. I guess she was what I needed at the time because I was obsessed with her for a few months. And then she got bored and she took off. After a few weeks of sulking, I realized I was sort of relieved. I’d had fun, but she certainly wasn’t someone I wanted to spend my whole life tangled up with, you know?”
Brandy certainly didn’t sound like someone Mia would expect Connor to be involved with. But she supposed everyone made a few mistakes when it came to youthful romantic relationships. She had certainly made a couple, herself. She nodded. “Go on.”
He moistened his lips. “I got involved with Gretchen a few months later as sort of a rebound from Brandy. Gretchen was everything Brandy wasn’t. She was focused and normal and completely predictable. I thought we were perfectly matched. She was a dental assistant and she seemed to be content to be that and a coach’s wife. She didn’t encourage me to pursue a medical degree and I guess I used her as an excuse not to do so. I think the whole idea scared me at the time, even though it was something I’d always fantasized about. You know how it goes. I was twenty-two, been in school since I was five, thought I was ready to get on with my life…I won’t say Gretchen and I were deliriously happy, but we got along well enough during the three years we were married. Until she ran off with the dentist, of course,” he finished with a grimace.
Mia had met him not long after that humiliation, when he was still stinging from his wife’s betrayal. She’d never met Gretchen, but from the few things he had told her, she doubted that she would have liked her very much, even though Connor had been very careful not to say anything too derogatory about his ex.
“Sounds like Gretchen had a little more in common with Brandy than you’d realized,” she murmured.
He winced and pushed a hand through his already-messy sandy hair. “Maybe I just have a knack for picking the wrong women.”
“You still haven’t told me why you think you have to quit medical school. Or what the lawyer told you that upset you so badly.”
The way his jaw tightened let her know that he was deliberately taking his time about that. Whatever it was, she could tell it was major.
“What I didn’t know when Brandy left was that she was pregnant,” he said after drawing a deep breath. “With my child. Apparently, she didn’t want me to know because she didn’t want that bond between us.”
“You have a child?” Mia asked, her eyes going wide.
He nodded, looking dazed again. “A little girl. She’s six years old. Her name is Alexis.”
“Oh, my God.”
He gave a short laugh that held no humor. “Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction.”
“And you never knew anything about this?”
“Nothing. I haven’t heard a word from Brandy since she took off, leaving me a note saying it had been fun, but she was ready for some new adventures.”
“And now she wants you to be a father to her child?” Becoming incensed on his behalf, Mia let go of his hands to clench her own into fists. “What does she want? Money?”
He shook his head. “No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“Brandy didn’t raise Alexis. She gave the baby to her mother in Springfield, Missouri, to raise, and then she took off again. A year ago, she was killed in some sort of accident in New Zealand.”
“She’s—”
“She’s dead,” he reiterated bluntly. “And as of two days ago, so is her mother. A massive heart attack. Which is why the lawyer contacted me.”
Connor watched Mia’s face as the realization dawned on her. “They want you to take the little girl?”
Still finding it hard to believe himself, he nodded. “Alexis has only one surviving maternal family member. An aunt, Brandy’s older sister. The aunt doesn’t want to raise the child. She thought I should be notified before she turned Alexis over as a ward of the state.”
“Oh.” Relaxing the fists she’d clenched, Mia twisted her fingers in her lap. “So they knew about you.”
“Brandy gave them my name. In case anything ever happened to her, she said, or in case her daughter ever wanted to know who her father was.”
“Do you think there’s any chance she lied? That you aren’t the father?”
“There will be paternity tests, of course, but Brandy was not a liar. She was almost ruthlessly honest about everything. Apparently, I’m even named as the father on the birth certificate.”
“So you believe Alexis is your daughter.”
She seemed to be trying to convince herself. He nodded, anyway. “If Brandy said she is, then I don’t seem to have any other choice. The lawyer—his name was Haskell. Art Haskell, I think. Anyway, he said it’s up to me what I want to do now, but I need to make a decision quickly. Brandy’s sister is giving me until Monday to decide whether to accept custody or to relinquish my parental rights so Alexis can be adopted by someone else.”
“But you’ve already made up your mind.”
He wasn’t surprised by her insight. Mia probably knew him better than anyone else in the world. “I have no other choice,” he said again. “She’s my daughter, Mia. I can’t just turn my back on her.”
His daughter. The words felt alien on his tongue. Somewhere in Missouri was a six-year-old child with his DNA. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a photograph Haskell had given him. “This is Alexis.”
He noted that Mia’s hand wasn’t quite steady when she took it. He could certainly understand that.
She studied the picture for several long minutes, then looked up at him somberly. “She looks just like you.”
He’d seen the resemblance immediately. Alexis looked like a feminized version of himself at the same age, down to the little dimple in her chin. “I know.”
“She really is your daughter.”
“I know.”
Handing the photo back to him, she shook her head as if to clear it. “Okay, I understand why you feel an obligation to her. But are you sure you want to take responsibility for this child you’ve never met and who has never met you? That’s an enormous undertaking.”
“Tell me about it,” he muttered. “At least most single dads have the advantage of being in the kid’s life from the beginning. I don’t know how she’s going to react to me. But what else can I do, Mia? Turn her over to the state? Would you be able to do that if it were your child?”
She hesitated a moment, then shook her head. “Of course not. Nor would I expect you to. That’s just not who you are. It’s not going to be easy, Connor, but you know that.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Still, I can’t bear the thought of your quitting medical school. Not now.”
“I hate it, too,” he admitted glumly. “But what else can I do? You’ve seen how much of a time commitment it requires. There’s just no way I can handle that and raise a kid by my self.”
“Isn’t there anyone else who can help you? Someone from your family?”
“If my mom were still around, she’d be thrilled to help. She always wanted grandkids,” he said, sadness gripping his heart. But his mother had died of cancer. He still missed her every day.
“My only surviving grandmother lives in Nebraska and is in poor health, so she’s not an option. My dad is a great guy, but he’d be no help. He’s been a traveling salesman my whole life. Still travels a great deal. His concept of fatherhood was to play with me when he was home on weekends. The day-to-day practicalities of parenthood were all on my mom’s shoulders. He’ll spoil Alexis rotten when he meets her, I imagine, but as for being any real help…”
He shook his head. “I can’t afford to hire a full-time nanny, so that won’t work, either. Alexis will be in school during the day, but there are still evenings and weekends and holidays to deal with—hours I would have to spend studying to finish med school without flunking out. I just can’t—”
“I’ll help you.”
She had spoken quickly, as if on a sudden impulse, but her expression looked certain.
He frowned. “How could you?”
“I could move in with you,” she said, taking him completely by surprise again.
“Platonically, of course,” she added, as if there were any doubt. “My job is ideal for raising kids. I work during her school hours. We’d only need child care for a couple of hours a day and you could manage that financially. Evenings and weekends, I’ll take care of her while you study. I’ll do the cooking, the housekeeping, the laundry. I don’t have a lot of experience with young children, but I’ve got nieces and nephews around that age. I’m sure I can manage.”
“Why would you even consider this?” he asked, genuinely bewildered by the magnitude of her offer.
She shrugged and he could almost see her mind working. “It could actually be beneficial for both of us. You know I’ve been saving money to start graduate school after teaching for another year or two. Not having to pay the lease on this apartment would go a long way toward those savings. Your place is paid for, and I’d trade child care for rent there. I’d help you with some expenses, of course, but it would still save me several hundred dollars a month to share your house.”
It sounded to him as though she were trying to rationalize her impetuous offer. “It’s too much, Mia. I couldn’t ask—”
“You didn’t ask,” she broke in to remind him. “I offered. Think about it. This could be a win-win situation for both of us. I’ve even thought about taking an evening job in a bookstore or something to earn a little extra for my grad school expenses. This would save my having to do that.”
“Mia…”
“Connor.” She rested her hands on his again, her eyes locking with his. “You are one of the best friends I’ve ever had. You’re a good, decent man who’ll make a wonderful doctor. The world needs doctors like you. It would break my heart if you had to walk away from that dream now because of a youthful indiscretion. Wouldn’t you do the same to help me achieve my dreams?”
He wanted to believe he would do anything for Mia. She was such a good friend. Such a good person. Of course he wanted her to be happy. But what she offered was so overwhelming. So life-changing. Would he really be that unselfish?
“Why don’t you think about it tonight?” she suggested, seeing the conflicting emotions on his face. “Don’t do anything rash without at least considering what I’ve suggested, will you? I think we can do this, Connor. I think we can work together to provide a home for Alexis while you finish medical school and while I work toward my own educational goals.”
“I’ll think about it,” he agreed slowly. “But you need to do the same. You made an impulsive offer because you care about me, but you need to really consider what would be involved if you do this. Like you said, we don’t know this child. We don’t know what kind of raising she’s had, whether she’s been expected to follow rules or have respect for other people and their property. She could be a holy terror, for all we know. And you’re talking about spending every evening and weekend with her—what would that do to your social life?”
She laughed. “You, of all people, should know that I don’t have that much of a social life to worry about. I’m hardly a party girl.”
“What about the guy you went out with last night?”
She shuddered, giving the gesture an extra touch of drama for emphasis. “If I never see that jerk again, I’ll be quite happy, thank you. If I’d had to move his hand off my bottom one more time, I might have gone ballistic. As it was, his life was hanging by a very thin thread. I gave Natalie a piece of my mind later for setting me up with such a creep, but she swore she didn’t know he was that bad.”
The thought of some guy putting those moves on Mia made Connor’s blood boil. He told himself he’d have been as defensive on behalf of any of his women friends, and then tried to believe it. “You should have broken his fingers.”
“I considered it. I think he finally realized I was edging toward violence. He looked a little nervous toward the end of the evening.”
Her light tone invited him to laugh with her, but he couldn’t seem to tap into his sense of humor tonight. “It’s getting late,” he said. “I’d better go. Like you said, we both need to think about this.”
“I know my offer was spur of the moment, but I won’t change my mind. The more I think about it, the more I know it’s the right thing to do. It’s the only solution to your problem, and not such a bad deal for me, either.”
She’d obviously convinced herself. He was going to need a little more time to process. He’d had too much thrown at him today.
But there was certainly some appeal to the idea of Mia sharing his home. As a friend, of course, he assured himself as he left her apartment a few minutes later. A temporary solution to a very big dilemma.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give her plan a try.
Mia shook her head when Connor looked at his watch for what had to be the dozenth time in the past ten minutes. “Constantly checking won’t make the time pass any more quickly,” she reminded him.
Looking sheepish, he dropped his arm. “I know. I’m just…antsy,” he admitted.
As if that was something she didn’t already know.
It was Tuesday afternoon, and the minutes were creeping toward 5 p.m., the time when Patricia Caple, Alexis’s aunt, had said she would arrive at Connor’s house with the girl.