The Cowboy's Baby Blessing

She gestured to the food. “It’s all yours.”

Although technically, it wasn’t. She couldn’t forget that Zooey would be around before long with her own healthy appetite. Rachel had packed some of Zooey’s favorites.

In preparation, Rachel fixed her daughter a plate and set it aside, then filled a plate for herself.

“Eating for two?” he teased.

For the briefest moment Seth’s words took on an ugly context, one she’d long ago fought and overcome. She wasn’t reed thin like Lizzie and even Zooey, and she accepted now that she never would be.

As a child, she’d been bullied. Worse than that, even, when she’d become a teenager.

But the glimmer in Seth’s eyes wasn’t cruel. He was joshing her about the two plates she’d fixed. She wasn’t going to make it a sore point just because at one time in her life she’d had low self-esteem because of her weight.

She laughed and casually leaned back on her palms, crossing her feet at the ankles.

“This extra one is for my daughter, Zooey. She’s still following the auction, helping my best friend, Lizzie, pick out the perfect handsome bachelor for a date, but I imagine she’ll be around as soon as she gets hungry.”

“Was that your daughter I saw bidding on your behalf?”

Rachel nodded and shifted her gaze away from him, suddenly uncomfortable and embarrassed that he’d noticed that she hadn’t been doing her own bidding. She also worried that he might have misconstrued her words.

If Lizzie was looking for a handsome bachelor to date, it stood to reason that Rachel had been looking for the same exact thing. And that Seth might think that bachelor was him.

Oh dear.

“Yes, that’s Zooey,” she cut in quickly, before he had too much time to think about what she’d said previously. “She’s sixteen. To be perfectly honest with you, she had an entirely different idea than me on what I was looking for. She took over my bidding completely without my consent.” Suddenly realizing how insulting that might sound, she scrambled to backpedal. “I didn’t—That is—I wouldn’t—”

When she stammered to a halt and heat rushed to her face, he finished her sentence for her.

“You wouldn’t have chosen to bid on me.”

* * *

No big deal, he told himself, but knowing that Rachel hadn’t really wanted to win him still pricked at his pride.

Rachel met his gaze, her deep brown eyes thoughtful and expressive.

“No. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have. That is, originally, I would have considered you, especially regarding the particular tasks I have in mind for you to do for me.” She took a great gulp of air. “But then Lizzie and my daughter got it in their minds to—”

She stammered to a halt. Inhaled another ragged breath. Exhaled on a deep sigh. Seth wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he honestly had no clue what he could offer. Frankly, it was strange to him to see her this flustered. He knew her only in passing, but she’d always given off this air of calm competence that he admired, seeming sure of herself in every situation.

Well, apparently not this one.

“I’m afraid all I will be able to offer you is some general fix-it work on the play yard of my in-home day care,” she said at last.

He took a sip of cold water and gestured with his hand. “As opposed to...?”

Her cheeks, which were already flushed a pretty pink, now turned bright red, and she broke her gaze away from his.

“Okay,” she muttered under her breath. “I’m just going to say it.”

She paused dramatically. “As opposed to a date. I feel like I cheated you out of something special. You know, something more, er, romantic. You would have been better off with one of the beautiful younger ladies who were bidding on you for your—” her voice tightened and she squinted as she choked out the last part of her sentence “—good looks.”

He sat up straighter as his wilted ego reinflated faster than a balloon on a helium pump.

“No worries on that front,” he assured her with a grin. “I’m glad you won the bid on me. Relieved, even. You just saved me from what could have been an awkward situation. I assure you I’m not looking for a girlfriend, not even a casual one. That wouldn’t be fair to her. I’m only home for a few weeks before I’m heading off to college.”

“That’s exciting. I never made it to college. Have you picked a school yet?”

“Texas State University. I’m a little nervous about it,” he admitted. “I’ve never been a great student, and it’s not like I’m right out of high school, so I’ll probably stick out like a sore thumb.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s not like you’re over-the-hill, and many adults these days are choosing to go back to school after they’ve been out in the real world for a while.”

A brief cloud of sadness crossed over his heart. “That, I’ve done. Seen the real world, I mean, in the army. I’m looking forward to putting my full focus on my academics.”

And keep his mind off everything he’d experienced while on tour. He was haunted by questions and guilt that wouldn’t leave him alone. He was hoping he’d be so busy studying that he wouldn’t have time for reflection on just how cruel he’d seen the “real world” be.

It couldn’t get much more real than watching his best friend, Luke, being gunned down right in front of him, hit by a sniper who barely missed Seth, but that wasn’t something he wanted to share with a woman he’d barely met.

He didn’t even like to think about it, much less talk about it.

“I’m so sorry. I know you were in the army. I didn’t mean to remind you of hard times.”

He shrugged. “Life is what it is. I’ve learned that I have to accept it and move forward. The key is to watch my attitude. I’ve chosen to remain positive.”

“That’s a wonderful outlook, and one I try to follow myself, although I’m not always successful at it. Sometimes it’s easier to see the glass as half-empty.”

Her gaze dropped and she blew out a breath. He waited for her to finish her thought, but she remained quiet. He knew what she wanted to say but couldn’t.

Easier, but not better.

“I’m majoring in athletic training,” he said to fill the silence.

“Based on your demonstration before, I’d say that ought to be right up your alley.” She snapped back to the present and smiled at him, although he could see it was forced. “What do you plan to do when you graduate? Coach high school sports?”

He shrugged. He wasn’t much of a planner and never had been. He only vaguely pictured his future beyond the challenge of four years of hitting the books. He knew from experience that too much could change between now and then. What was the point of making all these grandiose plans only to discover life is nothing like you expect it to be?

“I don’t know yet. I think it’d be cool to work with a pro sports team. Football or baseball, maybe, or even basketball. That’d give me the opportunity to travel the country, which I’d like to do. Or if not that, then maybe I could work with a college sports program. I’d like to think I could make a difference with the kids coming through the ranks.”

“I suspect you’d be very good at that, given the skillzzz I saw you display today.”

He laughed at her exact replication of Jo’s word, all the way down to the crackly tone of voice that the old redhead had used.

“I’m probably just kidding myself thinking I can get into the big leagues, but I figure I might as well reach for the sky, right?”

“Or swing for it.” She laughed. “What’s that called, anyway? That thing you were doing earlier with the swinging and jumping and backflips?”

His smile widened. “Parkour. It’s basically focusing your mind with the intent of seeing and interacting with your environment in a different way. It puts everything into perspective. You should try it sometime. I could give you a lesson or two.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and then she burst out laughing.

“With this body?” She gestured at herself from head to toe. “I don’t think so.”

He didn’t see anything wrong with her body. She was full figured, but in a healthy way. Besides, parkour was a mental exercise as much as a physical one.

“You shouldn’t limit yourself, Rachel. Parkour isn’t about what you can’t do—it’s about what you can.”

“I believe I’ll stick to working out in my living room to my exercise dance DVDs, thank you very much. Somewhere no one can see how awkward I look when I move.”

He wanted to press her but sensed this wasn’t the time. Plus, this was the first time he’d really spoken to her—brief chitchat at church or his family’s grocery store didn’t count—and he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression about parkour. Or about him.

“What about your daughter? Do you think she might enjoy parkour?”

Rachel voraciously shook her head, her dark hair flipping over one shoulder.

“Oh, no. She needs to concentrate on her academics right now if she’s going to get into a good college. She didn’t pass two of her classes last year and consequently is in summer school right now. It’s not that she’s not smart,” she modified. “She just hasn’t been applying herself lately. I’m trying to encourage her to do better in summer school. Anyway, sports aren’t really Zooey’s thing.”

“Did I hear my name?” Seth’s gaze shifted to the teenager who’d jogged up to Rachel. Zooey was a pretty, dark-haired, dark-eyed teenager who looked a lot like her mother. The girl dropped onto her knees next to the picnic basket and flashed a friendly smile at Seth.

“I was telling Seth here what a pickle you are, taking over the bidding on my behalf.”

Zooey stuck out her tongue at Rachel and reached for the plate Rachel handed her. “Someone had to do it. You don’t mind, do you, Seth?”

He chuckled. “No, of course not. In fact, I’m thinking this day turned out rather well.”

“Ha. Told you, Mom.” She picked up a chicken drumstick, took a bite and pointed it toward Seth.

“Have you tried your chicken yet? My mom makes the best fried chicken ever.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Rachel admonished. “And we haven’t said grace yet.”

Seth had been reaching for his chicken breast, but he stopped midmovement at Rachel’s reminder that they needed to pray before their meal.

It wasn’t something he was used to doing—not since his youth when he lived with his parents. He was used to diving straight into his meal, and this meal definitely seemed worth diving into. His stomach growled when the delectable, greasy smell of fried chicken reached his nose, and his mouth watered in anticipation. He usually limited himself to grilled meat served with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, but he wasn’t about to pass up homemade fried chicken.

This was a special occasion, right?

It was all he could do not to take a bite of his chicken, but he restrained himself and politely bowed his head.

“Would you like to say grace?”

With his eyes closed, he didn’t immediately realize Rachel was speaking to him.

“Seth?”

His eyes popped open to find Rachel and Zooey both staring at him.

“I—er—I’m more of a Christmas and Easter kind of man. So I—Well, I’m out of practice. You go ahead.” His voice sounded stilted and awkward, even to him.

“I’m sorry. I just assumed—I see your parents and sister at church every Sunday. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” he assured her, even though he was itching in his skin.

He searched his mind for a way to describe his current relationship with the Lord, but nothing sounded right. It was too complicated for casual conversation. He believed in God, but God hadn’t always been there for him.

Certainly not lately. Not when it really counted.

He was relieved when she spoke, removing the need for a coherent explanation.

“Let’s thank the Lord for our food.”

Quietly and with gentle reverence, she offered heartfelt gratitude for the food, the day and the company.

Seth shifted uncomfortably. He’d been raised in a Christian home and, since he’d returned from the army, occasionally attended church services with his family, but religion didn’t play a big part in his life anymore.

He cracked his eyes open to watch Rachel pray and noticed he wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable. Zooey’s eyes were also open, her gaze on her folded hands. Or rather, she was frowning at her clenched hands. He was surprised she didn’t seem tapped into faith. He certainly had been at her age, with his family’s example all around him, and from the way that Rachel prayed, it was clear that faith was important to her and played a big role in her home.

Rachel’s grace wasn’t dry or bottled, but rather she spoke from her heart, which Seth admired and, if he was being honest, envied. He missed the innocence of his youth, of a faith that transcended the trials of daily life, but he’d seen far too much of the world not to question what he believed.

Still, he echoed her amen.

Zooey scooped a forkful of macaroni salad into her mouth and chewed slowly. A group of young men Seth guessed to be around Zooey’s age walked by, jostling and shoving and trying to talk over each other. Zooey didn’t turn her head, but her gaze trailed after the guys.

Rachel must have seen that, as well.

“It’s a good thing they didn’t allow the teenage guys to participate in the auction,” she said after swallowing her bite of baked beans.

The boys had moved out of hearing distance, but that didn’t stop the blush that rose to the teenager’s cheeks.

“Mom,” she whispered harshly. “That is so uncool. They could have heard you.”

A little adolescent and overdramatic for Seth’s taste, but it was an amusing scene, at least until Zooey tossed down her plate and popped to her feet.

“I am so out of here.”

“Sit down and finish eating.” Rachel’s voice was low and even, but Seth could hear the barely contained tension coating her voice. Her daughter seemed all too willing to ignore it.

“Zooey,” Rachel called after her, but the teenager loped away as if she hadn’t heard, joining a group of friends on the other side of the green.

Rachel sighed and rested her forehead against her palm. “I’m getting a migraine. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with that girl.”

Seth chuckled. “She’s a teenager. Most of the time, rebellion is written in their DNA. Are you going to tell me you didn’t get into a few scrapes and give your mom a hassle when you were sixteen?”

She scoffed. “I had a newborn baby when I was sixteen. My mother didn’t care for the idea of becoming a grandmother at such a young age and she threw me out of the house.”

Seth’s gut tightened. “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately, yes. My mom and dad are fairly well-to-do and their unmarried teenage daughter becoming pregnant didn’t go down well in their social circles. It was better if I just disappeared before anyone found out. I would have been interested to hear their explanation for why I dropped out of school and off the map, but I never got a chance to hear it. I haven’t seen them since that day, nor do I want to. I’ve forgiven them for what they did to me and Zooey, but they’re not part of our lives.”

“They sent you away?” Seth almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What kind of parents did that to their child? He had made more than his share of mistakes in his life, but he knew beyond a doubt that his mom and dad would never turn their backs on him, no matter what he did. It was almost inconceivable to even think about. “What did you do?”

“Given that I had no money and nowhere to turn, I am one of the blessed ones. I didn’t end up on the street. Instead, I was taken in by a church-run home for teenage mothers. They taught me how to care for my daughter and helped me finish high school and get on my feet. They gave me real-world skills I could use to provide for Zooey and myself. When I was eighteen, I moved to Serendipity, set up shop as an in-home day-care provider, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Wow. That must have been tough, especially at such a young age. I admire and applaud you for your courage.”

Rachel shook her head. “It wasn’t courage. I was scared to death. But I had a lot of support. And though Zooey wasn’t conceived in an ideal situation, I loved her from the first moment I discovered I was carrying her in my womb. I did what I had to.”

“My buddy Luke used to tell me that courage wasn’t the lack of fear. It was being afraid and going forward anyway. That’s what you did. I call it courage.”

Rachel nibbled at her chicken, chewing thoughtfully, her gaze distant. Then, with effort, she seemed to set her emotions aside.

“But enough about me. Tell me about you. Did you join the army right out of high school? Thank you for your service, by the way.”

He gave her a clipped nod. He didn’t really want to talk about his time in the military, and though appreciative of their acknowledgment, he never knew what to say when people thanked him for serving.

“Like many little boys, I dreamed about becoming a soldier when I grew up,” he said. “But I followed through with it and, along with my best friend, Luke Hollister, enlisted before I even finished high school. We were off to boot camp right after we graduated. At the time, I intended to make the army my career. Twenty years and a decent pension sounded good to me. And I really loved serving in the army.”

“What happened?” she asked softly.

Seth blew out a breath. “Luke was killed in a firefight. I was right there next to him and—” He swallowed hard to dislodge the memory. “And then a sniper got him. The bullet whizzed right by my ear and hit Luke.”

He frowned. It was hard to get the words out.

“That day haunts me. I’ll never understand why God let things go down the way they did. I’m a bachelor and yet I was the one who dodged the bullet. Luke left behind his pregnant wife, Tracy, and their ranch land, which has been in the Hollister family for generations.”

“It must have been very rough for her,” Rachel said. “I remember the prayers that were said for her in church. Such a sad situation. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and on your own, but I can’t even imagine dealing with the grief she must have felt, on top of having to run the ranch by herself.”

Seth nodded his agreement. “Thankfully, Tracy was born and raised on a ranch, so she gradually adapted to becoming the sole owner. I admire her courage so much. She’s one of the strongest women I know.”

“At least she had her child to look forward to. She had a boy, right?”

“That’s right. Little Caden is almost three years old now. I promised Luke I’d watch over Caden and Tracy if anything ever happened to him, which is a big part of the reason I came back to Serendipity before heading off to college. I wanted to check in on them and make sure everything was as okay as Tracy tried to make it sound whenever I spoke to her on the phone. I needed to see her with my own eyes.”

“And how is she doing?”

“She appears to be making a success of it, although honestly, I can’t even imagine how she does it. She told me straight to my face that she was fine and she didn’t need my help, that I should worry about getting my own life in order. I realized then that I didn’t want my life to go the same way as Luke’s. I didn’t re-up in the army, because my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew I had to do something different.”

“I imagine so,” Rachel said, sympathy evident in the tone of her voice.

“The truth is, I just want to get away from responsibility for a while. I want to be me—to find out who I am outside of the military. I’ve always had someone else in charge of where I go and what I do in my life. I didn’t even take the summer off after high school. Straight from my parents’ house into the army, where I was under orders for everything, even eating and sleeping. Right now all I have on my mind is doing my own thing for a change. Make my own decisions without regard to anyone but myself. No strings attached. Saying that aloud makes me sound like a selfish lout, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all.”

She was generous to say so.

“When I go to college, all I want to worry about is keeping my grades up. That will take some doing. Like I said, I wasn’t the best student, but I’m not sure if it’s so much that I wasn’t good at school as that I didn’t really apply myself. I only worked hard enough to keep my grades high enough for sports.” He could feel himself flushing with embarrassment. “Aw, man. I sound like a regular slacker. Don’t worry—I promise I won’t rub off on Zooey.”

Rachel laughed. “She could use a little of your good attitude. You certainly sound ready to buckle down and work hard now. So after college, some kind of big-league sports work, and then what?”

“I imagine I’ll probably want to settle down at some point—you know, get married and have children. But that is way down the road from now, though.”

He pressed his lips together. He wasn’t even close to being ready for a family of his own. He wasn’t financially prepared to support anyone—and frankly, after losing his best friend, he wasn’t ready for any relationship that would leave his heart open to getting hurt again.

“But,” he continued, forcing the corners of his mouth to curve upward, if only barely, for Rachel’s sake, “in other news, I am now the awesome godfather of the cutest baby ever, Luke and Tracy’s two-year-old son, Caden. And thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, I’m also the proud uncle of an adorable seven-year-old niece and a feisty pair of twins—one boy and one girl. Samantha and Will’s kiddos keep them good and busy.”

“So you’re the fun uncle, huh?”

He flashed his most charming smile. “Exactly. And that’s how I intend to keep things.”

“Chief tickler and bogeyman storyteller. The children will look forward to you coming home to visit when you’re on breaks at school or the football season is over.”

Considering how little they knew of each other, Rachel had just nailed it.

That was the man he wanted to be. The fun uncle who could come and go as he pleased. He was happy to have found someone who seemed to understand where he was at in his life—and why he would soon be leaving town for greener pastures.

Chapter Two

Sunday was usually Rachel’s favorite day of the week. It was the only day out of seven that she allowed herself the opportunity to worship, relax and just be, after a frantically busy week filled to the brim with toddlers followed by a Saturday crammed with a week’s worth of leftover chores and errands.

After Sunday services, she could read or binge on a television series or just nap, which was her favorite way to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon. But today her usual sense of peace had been replaced by a nagging sense of worry.

This morning, she’d watched for Seth at the small church that was home to Serendipity’s community of faith. On the day of the auction, they’d agreed to meet after the Sunday service to go over the specific details of when and how he’d work off her auction win, but he hadn’t shown up. In fact, none of the Howells had been present, which was unusual, since Seth’s parents—Samuel and Amanda—along with Will and Samantha Davenport and their brood usually took up an entire pew.

She’d have to make time to seek Seth out sometime during the week, as soon as possible. Or maybe she could get his cell number from Samantha. She needed the work done without delay. Her day-care recertification was close on the horizon, and from what she’d heard, many of her friends’ in-home day cares were failing in favor of corporate-run day cares because of tightening restrictions.

She couldn’t afford to fail.

Her business was her lifeline—hers and Zooey’s. She couldn’t even imagine what she’d do if she lost the ability to take care of the children. It was the only job she’d ever had, the one thing she felt capable of and qualified for.

Rachel didn’t regret having Zooey, not for one second, but it had put a halt on her college plans and the dreams she’d had for her future. She’d intended to pursue a degree in early childhood education and get her teaching degree.