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Stories on the coffee
Stories on the coffee
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Stories on the coffee


At the end of the video, a call is chanted in large letters: «You can also be on this list! Start working right now!» Two man exchange glances sarcastically. The electronic queue number flashed on the screen. Zabey checks the number on his ticket and enters the office. Inside at the computer sits a hunched civil servant with heavy bags under his eyes. At the sight of a visitor, he straightens up, trying to stay professional.

«Samoyedov Zabey Prolezaevich,» the civil servant reports, «your documents have been checked. From next month you will receive monetary compensation for the unemployed. At the moment, there are no vacancies of sommeliers. While we are waiting for proposals from the labor market, I invite you to take a vocational training course at the Progressive Behavior Center. They have supermodern techniques. You won’t regret it.» Zabey has always doubted the quality of the free offers, but he still thinks that the refusal can affect the amount of the allowance. So Zabey agrees.

A year passes.

A former sommelier plows with his knees the sea from empty beer cans, corks and wine bottles of all varieties and brands. During this time his room turns into an alcohol pool and Zabey does not know in general where to go next. In general. But right now he’s making his way towards the aluminum can press to at least clear the blockage a little bit. After this he will sit on a glass crusher. Zabey had not time yet to fully automate the processing of secondary raw materials, and investors’ proposals for expanding production are already pouring into Direct. Especially after the TV broadcast a report about a local attraction, made by him.

It all started right here in his apartment, when agents of the Progressive Behavior Center stuffed it with hidden video cameras. One of the agents hands him a non-disclosure agreement and a plan of mandatory events with the invitation of relatives and friends. Every Sunday, according to the plan, Zabey should get acquainted and invite any new person to visit. The schedule for the next month also included classes with the mentor, adjusted based on observations of his behavior in the home environment.

For the first week Zabey is embarrassed to be under someone else’s gaze 24/7, but he gets used to it pretty quickly. The action map shows the main factor holding back his potential: the awkwardness of just fantasizing about what others might think of him.

– I can’t figure out at what point I’m turning the wrong way? – Zabey asks, resting in the foam pit after another session.

– There is no answer to this question in such a statement, – answers the mentor, relaxing nearby. – Any decision you make is a turn in the right direction. Only your own attitudes and environment can convince you of the opposite. But when making decisions, you should not listen to other people’s advice. Because there is no person who could point the only right way. There are an infinite number of options, and no one is able to sort through them all.

– But then I will not be able to share with others either the joy of victories or the bitterness of defeats. After all, the responsibility is only on me.

– You always have to sacrifice something. «Your most cherished desire», «right now», «without big effort». Choose any two.

After psychological training, Zabey becomes more attentive to the world around him. His head stops rejecting ideas for fear of public censure. The former sommelier could not even imagine that in the afternoon, instead of a slight working drunkenness, he would be visited by creative impulses, and in the morning fresh ideas would take the place of a viscous hangover.

For example, his cat is so hyperactive from the new food that it turns on the tap itself and jumps under the stream of water. Zabey tries to teach his pet to pour him a bath, but he lacks patience: cats are too wayward and poorly trained. However, the episode was recorded by hidden video cameras. Soon physical activities aimed at fostering perseverance appear in the schedule. Exercise on a bicycle lasts half a day. Task: to drive 100 km without stopping.

«You need to learn patience, my friend,» says the mentor. «It is enough to press the pedals with force, to go fast. But if you want go far, you need to keep the rhythm constant. The goal will inevitably be conquered. The question is, will you make it.»

100 km without stopping – it seemed impossible. However, over time Zabey switches speeds so masterfully that the legs loading remains the same regardless of the slope of the road, and the distance is conquered. The same concept dominates swimming classes. The body gets used to load and does not feel it. By the end of the course, Zabey swims in the pool for all 40 minutes without rest. So he hones a will that came in handy almost immediately.

One day, contemplating the outside world, Zabey notices a magpie in the window, who is interested in the shiny metal lid of a bottle thrown on the asphalt. Enthusiasm wanted to act. Zabey places a bird feeder on the balcony, having improved it previously. Instead of pouring food on the table, he drills in it a gap to the size of the bottle cap. According to the idea, the bird should lower the lid into the gap. The lid passes through a detector that turns on a vibrating dispenser located on the side of the feeder. Dispenser measures exactly one peanut and lays out the reward on the table next to the bird.

Even entertainment was educational at the Progressive Behavior Center. They played poker at the practicum «Controlled Risk». Every player was putting something inexpensive, every day on the line. Something you can risk without regret. Just to not be afraid to take risks. There were marmalade candies on the blinds usually, and the rates were raised with disposable sachets with shampoo or condoms.

And now Zabey is ready to take a chance. He seemed to be obsessed with his venture. Having set aside at least for food, he spends all the remaining money on buying parts for the feeder-exchanger. Zabey lacks the engineering skills to run an electrical circuit, so he is covered with robotics and programming sites. In moments when his head is filled to the brim with the amount of new information, he brews a cup of coffee, which inevitably turns on the time coffee machine and sends him to memories of the Center.

Everything was different in the center, as if you were in another dimension. In a regular pool, not even the cheapest, instructors were regularly irritated by his long hair sticking out from under his cap. It seems that when the water filters were clogged, they got a lot out of their superiors.

But here the mentor said: «Long hair used to interfere with you. They fall on the eyes at the most inopportune moment, do not allow the headphones to sit comfortably in the ears. They need special care so that they do not look like a dried bush. But no matter how you turn it, you will want a short hairstyle in summer.

So-o-o-o.

Enjoy long hair right here and right now, as often as possible. Not everyone can afford that.»

It seems that the mentor voiced what Zabey himself was constantly thinking. And he rejoiced: where is a summer, and he’s still with long hair. A cheerful attitude helps to persist failures. Attempt after attempt, and finally, device have worked.

Zabey scatters metal lids around the exchanger feeder, attracting the attention of birds. Stomping on the table, magpies accidentally push the sparkles into the target and get food. But one day, the smartest of birds intentionally grabs the lid with her beak and puts it in a slit. Out of joy, Zabey falls from his chair to the floor and then does not get up on his feet for a long time, enjoying how his child suddenly got to his feet. Perhaps, it is the sweetest moment in the life of any father.

In just a couple of months, the magpies completely cleared the city of lids and did not stop there. Street vendors complain to each other about brazen birds beheading dummies of soft drinks. Zabey puts a bag of recycled materials on his shoulders and exchanges the metal for money. With the proceeds, he buys a slot for aluminum cans.

Information about work for homeless animals is quickly transmitted through its special zoo communication. Ever hungry street dogs are drawn to Zabey’s house. The needs of canine society must be met before their interest cools down. Zabey is building an exchanger for glass bottles at an accelerated pace. After a while, the production line is expanded by collecting plastic bottles.

Soon, the whole room is littered with former garbage. It’s time to draw up a business plan, hire assistants, draw up a legal entity and many, many other things… Again, numbers-money, money-numbers, and all this routine-discipline, nothing to do with getting pleasure. Throughout his life, Zabey has run away from evaluative thinking. First into alcohol, now into invention. Not to compare anything with others. To do things out of love, not statistics.

On the other hand: business, stocks, passive income. A private vanity factory. Cars, restaurants, women. Torture wrapped in a beautiful wrapper. And it seems to work out quite well, you just need to strain a little more to develop success. In an attempt to defeat the inner discomfort, Zabey decides that it will be fair if the final point at the crossroads is put by the one who brought him to this intersection. He calls a mentor.

– Be careful with the money,» the soft voice of the mentor whispered into the phone. – Money is someone’s energy. When you receive money, you get the energy of other people, and this is a great power. When power is not used, it turns into the dark energy of idleness, destroying you from within.

As usual, a philosophical speech sounds from the mouth of the mentor and it clarifies absolutely nothing.

– It is not mine, not mine! – Zabey shouts, tearing in half.

– I know what’s bothering you. It is rumored that no one likes the man who «changed shoes». But it’s pointless to be offended by both. Changing your beliefs is okay. After all, we are not offended by elementary particles that constantly change their state in time.

– Stop treating me! Do you want to break my head? – The answer boils by itself, and Zabey hangs up.

He leans back in his chair.

Fatigue envelops the cashmere cocoon, in which it is quiet and calm.

When he returns to the laptop, a random screensaver with the image of Everest glows on the screen. Zabey enters the password, logs in. The pop-up blocker doesn’t work, and an advertisement for last-minute tours to Tibet appears in the right corner.

«It’s a sign,» Zabey thinks. «Perhaps, mentor, you are definitely right here: you should not be offended by those who have changed their shoes.»

He sells the startup and buys a tour[5 - Zabey’s handmade exchanger is described on the basis of a real-life invention by Swedish engineer Hans Fosberg.].

Show-off

Line from the song: All your swagger blow out a blizzard.

For the time being, Gaur’s jocked body was a source of pride for him. He performs in bodybuilding competitions and does not miss the opportunity to play with the chest muscles in plain sight in any suitable situation. But one day, lubricating the biceps with oil, he gropes for a dense tubercle that protruded under the skin. After a month, wens come out on the chest, on the legs and even… on his face. Doctors helplessly throw up their hands. They say: «We remove them, but they appear again». And most importantly, the number and size of wens was constantly increasing. Gaur looked at himself in the mirror and saw a toad. He could no longer admire his body, much less show to people. His sports career was crossed out. Anger at the injustice of fate accumulates. Gaur gets a regular job for 12 hours 2/2. There are three outlets left in his life: boxing, music and video games. He needs to plug his devalued existence with something.

But today promises to be a delightful day. Gaur is on vacation. He had already gone to training in the morning, where he successfully put two blanches on his opponents, broke his lip and knocked out his shoulder. In the evening he will go to concert of the rapper, to whom he applauded and envied at the same time. To whom he gave all his likes. His songs were heard on the repeat, and some were stripped to the soul. In particular Gaur liked to knock on a gym’s pear under them, imagining how another smile was broken. Wanting to prolong the high mood, Gaur connects to the lobby «Supreme Commander», team online strategy game.

The game begins magically: allies quickly build the troops. They squeeze territory, making their way to the base to opponents. Appetite comes during the game. The invincible Gaur eats more and more enemy tanks. But suddenly there is a turning point. Gaur’s main army is lured into a trap and shot from all sides. Retreating, he did not control the commander, and he was killed. Finally, his team drains the game. Four hours of play is wasted. Losing is always hurtful, and losing so stupidly hurts doubly. But the most offensive thing is that the allies blame him alone for the defeat. All together in one voice, as they conspired. More than the rest, he is offended by the harsh insults of the player under the nickname NightKiller.

«Fakcin moron, fakcin bitch,» he bombs in an international chat. And at the end he adds: «I would break your skull!»

Gaur goes to the club on a rainy street, and these phrases do not let go and spin in his head. It seems that all rain of the world is pouring on this place. It seems that all clouds of the world have accumulated in this place – in its cloud depot. Gaur passes by the overgrown foundation of the planned building. Judging by the height of the trees that sprouted through the concrete slabs, the never-ending construction project dragged on for 10 years, no less. Gaur imagines some schoolboy in glasses behind a computer typing insults with his childish fingers, and thinks: «Who will you break what?! Look how the wind itself is blown away!»

Around the corner is a familiar dark gateway leading to the club. A BMW flies out of it with a bullet, almost knocking down Gaur. He just has time to jump to the side. When turning onto the main road, the car catches the bus with its bumper and brakes on a lamppost. A bull in a jacket jumps out of the BMW and yells at the bus driver:

– Do you know it’s worth 5 million?! Why don’t you give way?!

– And mine is 30 million, – the bus driver laughs in response, patting himself on the stomach.

«Instant karma,» Gaur thinks and disappears into the doorway.

The concert was in fire.

You’re so poor,