The Consolidator; or, Memoirs of Sundry Transactions from the World in the Moon

He told me, as the Inhabitants were the most Numerous, so they were the strangest People that liv'd; both their Natures, Tempers, Qualities, Actions, and way of Living, was made up of innumerable Contradictions: That they were the Wisest Fools, and the Foolishest Wise Men in the World; the Weakest Strongest, Richest Poorest, most Generous Covetous, Bold Cowardly, False Faithful, Sober Dissolute, Surly Civil, Slothful Diligent, Peaceable Quarrelling, Loyal Seditious Nation that ever was known.

Besides my Observations which I made my self, and which could only furnish me with what was present, and which I shall take time to inform my Reader with as much Care and Conciseness as possible; I was beholding to this Old Lunarian, for every thing that was Historical or Particular.

And First, He inform'd me, That in this new Country they had very seldom any Clouds at all, and consequently no extraordinary Storms, but a constant Serenity, moderate Breezes cooled the Air, and constant Evening Exhalations kept the Earth moist and fruitful; and as the Winds they had were various and strong enough to assist their Navigation, so they were without the Terrors, Dangers, Ship-wrecks and Destructions, which he knew we were troubled with in this our Lunar World, as he call'd it.

The first just Observation I made of this was, That I suppos'd from hence the wonderful Clearness of the Air, and the Advantage of so vast Optick Capacities they enjoy'd, was obtained: Alas! says the Old Fellow, You see nothing to what some of our Great Eyes see in some Parts of this World, nor do you see any thing compar'd to what you may see by the help of some new Invented Glasses, of which I may in time let you see the Experiment; and perhaps you may find this to be the reason why we do not so abound in Books as in your Lunar World; and that except it be some extraordinary Translations out of your Country, you will find but little in our Libraries, worth giving you a great deal of Trouble.

We immediately quitted the Philosophical Discourse of Winds, and I began to be mighty Inquisitive after these Glasses and Translations, and 1st, I understood here was a strange sort of Glass that did not so much bring to the Eye, as by I know not what wonderful Operation carried out the Eye to the Object, and quite varies from all our Doctrine of Opticks, by forming several strange Phænomena in Sight, which we are utterly unacquainted with; nor could Vision, Rarification, or any of our School-mens fine Terms, stand me in any stead in this case; but here was such Additions of piercing Organs, Particles of Transparence, Emission, Transmission, Mediums, Contraction of Rays, and a Thousand Applications of things prepar'd for the wondrous Operation, that you may be sure are requisite for the bringing to pass something yet unheard of on this side the Moon.

First we were inform'd, by the help of these Glasses, strange things, which pass in our World for Non-Entities, is to be seen, and very perceptible; for Example:

State Polity, in all its Meanders, Shifts, Turns, Tricks, and Contraries, are so exactly Delineated and Describ'd, That they are in hopes in time to draw a pair of Globes out, to bring all those things to a certainty.

Not but that it made some Puzzle, even among these Clear-sighted Nations, to determine what Figure the Plans and Drafts of this undiscover'd World of Mysteries ought to be describ'd in: Some were of Opinion, it ought, to be an Irregular Centagon, a Figure with an Hundred Cones or Angles: Since the Unaccountables of this State-Science, are hid in a Million of undiscover'd Corners; as the Craft, Subtilty and Hypocrisy of Knaves and Courtiers have concealed them, never to be found out, but by this wonderful D-l-scope, which seem'd to threaten a perfect Discovery of all those Nudities, which have lain hid in the Embrio, and false Conceptions of Abortive Policy, ever since the Foundation of the World.

Some were of Opinion, this Plan ought to be Circular, and in a Globular Form, since it was on all sides alike, full of dark Spots, untrod Mazes, waking Mischiefs, and sleeping Mysteries; and being delineated like the Globes display'd, would discover all the Lines of Wickedness to the Eye at one view: Besides, they fancied some sort of Analogy in the Rotundity of the Figure, with the continued Circular Motion of all Court-Policies, in the stated Round of Universal Knavery.

Others would have had it Hyrogliphical as by a Hand in Hand, the Form representing the Affinity between State Policy here, and State Policy in the Infernal Regions, with some unkind Similies between the Oeconomy of Satan's Kingdom, and those of most of the Temporal Powers on Earth; but this was thought too unkind. At last it was determin'd, That neither of these Schemes were capable of the vast Description; and that, therefore, the Drafts must be made single, tho' not dividing the Governments, yet dividing the Arts of Governing into proper distinct Schemes, viz.

1. A particular Plan of Publick Faith; and here we had the Experiment immediately made: The Representation is quallified for the Meridian of any Country, as well in our World as theirs; and turning it to'ards our own World, there I saw plainly an Exchequer shut up, and 20000 Mourning Families selling their Coaches, Horses, Whores, Equipages, &c. for Bread, the Government standing by laughing, and looking on: Hard by I saw the Chamber of a great City shut up, and Forty Thousand Orphans turn'd adrift in the World; some had no Cloaths, some no Shoes, some no Money; and still the City Magistrates calling upon other Orphans, to pay their money in. These things put me in mind of the Prophet Ezekiel, and methoughts I heard the same Voice that spoke to him, calling me, and telling me, Come hither, and I'll show thee greater Abominations than these: So looking still on that vast Map, by the help of these Magnifying Glasses, I saw huge Fleets hir'd for Transport-Service, but never paid; vast Taxes Anticipated, that were never Collected; others Collected and Appropriated, but Misapplied: Millions of Talleys struck to be Discounted, and the Poor paying 40 per Cent, to receive their Money. I saw huge Quantities of Money drawn in, and little or none issued out; vast Prizes taken from the Enemy, and then taken away again at home by Friends; Ships sav'd on the Sea, and sunk in the Prize Offices; Merchants escaping from Enemies at Sea, and be Pirated by Sham Embargoes, Counterfeit Claims, Confiscations, &c a-shoar: There we saw Turkey-Fleets taken into Convoys, and Guarded to the very Mouth of the Enemy, and then abandon'd for their better Security: Here we saw Mons. Pouchartrain shutting up the Town-house of Paris, and plundring the Bank of Lyons.

2. Here we law the State of the War among Nations; Here was the French giving Sham-thanks for Victories they never got, and some body else adressing and congratulating the sublime Glory of running away: Here was Te Deum for Sham-Victories by Land; and there was Thanksgiving for Ditto by Sea: Here we might see two Armies fight, both run away, and both come and thank GOD for nothing: Here we saw a Plan of a late War like that in Ireland; there was all the Officers cursing a Dutch General, because the damn'd Rogue would fight, and spoil a good War, that with decent Management and good Husbandry, might have been eek't out this Twenty Years; there was whole Armies hunting two Cows to one Irishman, and driving of black Cattle declar'd the Noble End of the the War: Here we saw a Country full of Stone Walls and strong Towns, where every Campaign, the Trade of War was carried on by the Soldiers, with the same Intriguing as it was carried on in the Council Chambers; there was Millions of Contributions raised, and vast Sums Collected, but no Taxes lessen'd; whole Plate Fleets surpriz'd, but no Treasure found; vaft Sums lost by Enemies, and yet never found by Friends, Ships loaded with Volatile Silver, that came away full, and gat home empty; whole Voyages made to beat No body, and plunder Every body; two Millions robb'd from the honest Merchants, and not a Groat sav'd for the honest Subjects: There we saw Captains Lifting Men with the Governments Money, and letting them go again for their own; Ships fitted out at the Rates of Two Millions a Year, to fight but once in Three Years, and then run away for want of Powder and Shot.

There we saw Partition Treaties damned, and the whole given away, Confederations without Allies, Allies without Quota's, Princes without Armies, Armies without Men, and Men without Money, Crowns without Kings, Kings without Subjects, more Kings than Countries, and more Countries than were worth fighting for.

Here we could see the King of France upbraiding his Neighbours with dishonourably assisting his Rebels, though the Mischief was, they did it not neither; and in the same Breath, assisting the Hungarian Rebels against the Emperor; M. Ld N. refusing so dishonourable an Action, as to aid the Rebellious Camisars, but Leaguing with the Admirant de Castile, to Invade the Dominions of his Master to whom he swore Allegiance: Here we saw Protestants fight against Protestants, to help Papists, Papists against Papists to help Protestants, Protestants call in Turks, to keep Faith against Christians that break it: Here we could see Swedes fighting for Revenge, and call it Religion; Cardinals deposing their Catholick Prince, to introduce the Tyranny of a Lutheran and call it Liberty; Armies Electing Kings, and call it Free Choice; French conquering Savoy, to secure the Liberty of Italy.

3. The Map of State Policy contains abundance of Civil Transactions, no where to be discover'd but in this wonderful Country, and by this prodigious Invention: As first, it shows an Eminent Prelate running in every body's Debt to relieve the Poor, and bring to God Robbery for Burnt-Offering: It opens a Door to the Fate of Nations; and there we might see the Duke of S-y bought three times, and his subjects sold every time; Portugal bought twice, and neither time worth the Earnest; Spain bought once, but loth to go with the Bidder; Venice willing to be Bought, if there had been any Buyers; Bavaria Bought, and run away with the Money; the Emperor Bought and Sold, but Bilkt the Chapman; the French buying Kingdoms he can't keep, the Dutch keep Kingdoms they never Bought; and the English paying their Money without Purchase.

In Matters of Civil Concerns, here was to be seen Religion with no out-side, and much Out-side with no Religion, much Strife about Peace, and no Peace in the Design: Here was Plunder without Violence, Violence without Persecution, Conscience without Good Works, and Good Works without Charity; Parties cutting one anothers Throats for God's Sake, pulling down Churches de propoganda fide, and making Divisions by way of Association.

Here we have Peace and Union brought to pass The Shortest Way, Extirpation and Destruction prov'd to be the Road to Plenty and Pleasure: Here all the Wise Nations, a Learned Author would have Quoted, if he could have found them, are to be seen, who carry on Exclusive Laws to the general Safety and Satisfaction of their Subjects.

Occasional Bills may have here a particular Historical, Categorical Description: But of them by themselves.

Here you might have the Rise, Original, Lawfulness, Usefulness, and Necessity of Passive Obedience, as fairly represented as a System of Divinity, and as clearly demonstrated as by a Geographical Description; and which exceeds our mean Understanding here, 'tis by the wonderful Assistance of these Glasses, plainly discerned to be Coherent with Resistance, taking Arms, calling in Foreign Powers, and the like. – Here you have a plain Discovery of C. of E. Politicks, and a Map of Loyalty: Here 'tis as plainly demonstrated as the Nose in a Man's Face, provided he has one, that a Man may Abdicate, drive away, and Dethrone his Prince, and yet be absolutely and intirely free from, and innocent of the least Fracture, Breach, Incroachment, or Intrenchment, upon the Doctrine of Non-Resistance: Can shoot at his Prince without any Design to kill him, fight against him without raising Rebellion, and take up Arms, without leaving War against his Prince.

Here they can persecute Dissenters, without desiring they should Conform, conform to the Church they would overthrow; Pray for the Prince they dare not Name, and Name the Prince they do not pray for.

By the help of these Glasses strange Insights are made, into the vast mysterious dark World of State Policy; but that which is yet more strange, and requires vast Volumes to descend to the Particulars of, and huge Diagrams, Spheres, Charts, and a Thousand nice things to display is, That in this vast Intelligent Discovery it is not only made plain, that those things are so, but all the vast Contradictions are made Rational, reconciled to Practice, and brought down to Demonstration.

German Clock-Work, the perpetual Motions, the Prim Mobilies of Our short-sighted World, are Trifles to these Nicer Disquisitions.

Here it would be plain and rational, why a Parliament-Man will spend 5000 l. to be Chosen, that cannot get a Groat Honestly by setting there: It would be easily made out to be rational, why he that rails most at a Court is soonest receiv'd into it: Here it would be very plain, how great Estates are got in little Places, and Double in none at all. 'Tis easy to be prov'd honest and faithful to Victual the French Fleet out of English Stores, and let our own Navy want them; a long Sight, or a large Lunar Perspective, will make all these things not only plain in Fact, but Rational and Justifiable to all the World.

'Tis a strange thing to any body without doubt, that has not been in that clear-sighted Region, to comprehend, That those we call High-flyers in England are the only Friends to the Dissenters, and have been the most Diligent and Faithful in their Interest, of any People in the Nation; and yet so it is, Gentlemen, and they ought to have the Thanks of the whole Body for it.

In this advanc'd Station, we see it plainly by Reflexion, That the Dissenters, like a parcel of Knaves, have retained all the High-Church-men in their Pay; they are certainly all in their Pension-Roll: Indeed, I could not see the Money paid them there, it was too remote; but I could plainly see the thing; all the deep Lines of the Project are laid as true, they are so Tackt and Consolidated together, that if any one will give themselves leave to consider, they will be most effectually convinced, That the High-Church and the Dissenters here, are all in a Caball, a meer Knot, a piece of Clock-work; the Dissenters are the Dial-Plate, and the High-Church the Movement, the Wheel within the Wheels