Childhood Scenarios
ABANDONED BY PARENT/CARER
You may have a dream in which you are a child again and are being left at school, in a shop, in the street or park by your mother and running after her, perhaps not being able to reach her or not being heard. To be abandoned by a parent or carer in a dream—or to be separated from them so you feel lost and vulnerable—may represent a sense of not being wanted when you were young. This may not actually have been the case, but you may feel that way. Alternatively, such a dream might also suggest that you are searching in waking life for the emotional freedom to be yourself and to be independent. On another level it may be pointing to your need to find guidance or help from others; many people have dreams of childhood abandonment after the death of a loved one. If you are trying to attract your parents’ attention but they cannot hear you, such a dream may be saying that you feel neglected emotionally and you need to express your feelings and be understood by others.
BOY/GIRL
If the child in your dream is a boy, you know the dream is commenting on your feelings about the boy but referring these things to yourself. For example, if the boy is disruptive, it may depict your own desire to cause disruption of some kind in waking life. It may also indicate a male child in waking life who is giving you cause for concern. If you do not recognize the boy, it suggests that you need to be a little more adventurous and bring excitement to your life. In a man’s dream, an unknown boy can represent new potential and the part of himself he needs to ‘father’ in order to grow and mature. In a woman’s dream, an unknown boy can suggest your developing ability to express your feelings in actions.
If the child in your dream is a girl, this may be a symbol of your spontaneous, vulnerable side trying to emerge, regardless of whether you are male or female. In a man’s dream, it can refer to feelings about a daughter, or emotions and sexual feelings towards the opposite sex in general. In a woman’s dream, the girl can represent a sister or a daughter, but can also represent aspects of the dreamer portrayed by the girl. According to ancient dream oracles, threatening a girl or boy in a dream is an ominous sign that indicates you should take extra care of your health in the weeks ahead.
CHILD
A dream about a child (under the age of thirteen or so) may be a dream about yourself. If you are having a wonderful time playing and dressing up, the dream may be encouraging you to have more fun in your adult life. A dream about a child refusing to share or being inconsiderate may be a comment on your own weaknesses. Has your recent behavior or approach to life been a little childish? If you are the child in the dream, this can suggest a need to shed some of your current responsibilities in real life or express your real self.
If you are caring for a child or infant, and not really wanting to, perhaps someone in waking life is being demanding and requiring too much attention. If you want to have a child and dream of one, you may become a parent in the not-so-distant future. If you lose a child, whether your own or an unknown child, you may be anxious that you have taken on responsibilities you cannot handle. If the child is one of your children, look up son and daughter. If your dream did not evoke specific memories of your own childhood or an unknown child appeared, your unconscious may have summoned up an archetype in the staring role—that of the inner child. Whether your inner child was portrayed by you or by another character in the dream, he or she represents the part of you that, Peter Pan-like, has never grown up, or a part of you that you have banished from your waking life, but longs to be rediscovered. Your unconscious may therefore be highlighting your own immature behavior, or else your longing to recapture childhood innocence. Once again, the clue lies in the child’s behavior.
If the child in the dream is bullying another child, this could be related to how you are cruelly treating someone in real life. If, however, you are the victim in the dream, do you feel vulnerable, abused and powerless in waking life? If the child in the dream is happily playing with their toys, do you long to return to the optimistic, childhood state of mind before the realities of life closed in avenues of opportunity? Do you long to return to a time when anything seemed possible? Try to remember the child’s behavior—was he or she friendly or unfriendly, smiling or throwing a tantrum and consider whether the dream is commenting on your own current life and behavior. Do you have a tendency to fly into a childish rage when you don’t get your way in waking life?
CHILDREN
Children in a dream are symbols of joy and warmth, or of your desire for joy and warmth in waking life. If children are giving flowers, fruits or sweets, this suggests unexpected success or happiness. If, however, the children are quarrelling, this indicates domestic problems. Children in dreams can also represent feelings about your childhood, or current feelings of dependency or vulnerability. What is happening to the child in the dream will help you determine the interpretation.
If the children in your dream are boys, they symbolize high energy levels and new beginnings. If the boys are playing, this suggests the resolution of domestic or financial problems. If, however, the boys are quarrelling, this dream may be a warning to listen to the advice of people around you, especially if they are older than you. Perhaps you have been acting rashly. If one or more of the boys are injured, it is a serious warning to take a sober look at how you run your day-to-day life.
If the children in your dreams are girls you know and they are smiling, friendly or affectionate, this suggests that your general attitude of honesty will be much appreciated by those around you. If you don’t know the girls, this can suggest the beginnings of a new relationship. If the girls are untidy, disruptive, crying, angry or abusive, this could be a warning to show more understanding to your partner and those around you to avoid arguments and unnecessary misunderstandings.
EXAMINATION
Fear of failure can often originate in childhood and stem from fears of abandonment, so dreaming you are a child sitting for an examination or revising for a test and worrying that you won’t pass may express a fear of failure. Dreams of being late, unprepared or failing an examination show that you feel unprepared for the challenge life is currently throwing at you. Examinations are stressful and they can highlight your shortcomings. Your dream is urging you to stop fearing failure, to emphasize what is right and not what is wrong, and to give yourself permission to succeed.
Childhood Dreams
The following dreams are typical of childhood and mirror the stresses, experiences and questions associated with this stage in life. It is possible, however, to have one of these dreams at any stage in your life. See also STAGES OF LIFE.
BECOMING A SUPERHERO
In this dream, a child may find themselves faced with an evil force or power and, as in the breathing underwater dream, just when the situation becomes desperate or hopeless, they find that they transform into a superhero with extraordinary powers. As a superhero, they destroy their enemies and resolve the conflict. Not surprisingly, this dream is more common with boys than girls, perhaps because from an early age boys are influenced by superhero role models, such as Spiderman or Power Rangers. The dream may also continue into adulthood.
The child who has this kind of dream tends to be coping with some kind of problem or obstacle; for example, financial hardship, or family tensions and conflicts, and the dream may reflect these tensions. The child may feel that they are trapped by the situation and are helpless to do anything about it; the dream refers to their desire to make problems disappear magically. But this kind of dream may point to more than a wish for magical powers, as it also shows the dreamer that within them these magical and unique powers are just waiting to be discovered.
BREATHING UNDER WATER
In this nightmare with a happy ending, a child may dream that they are drowning and unable to reach the surface to breathe. Then, incredibly, just as they realize they are going to drown, they continue breathing and can breathe underwater in their dream. Like the dreams of flying, this dream is also about discovering abilities during times of crisis or when thrown into a particular situation. The water theme suggests a sense of being overwhelmed and vulnerable to the situations that surround us. It shows that a sense of panic is not only natural but necessary to discover the ability to breathe (survive) in a new environment (underwater).
This kind of dream tends to be outgrown by the time one reaches the age to leave home, but it can and does re-emerge if you are thrown into difficult, new or challenging situations in adult life. It should be seen as a reminder of your ability to survive tough circumstances, even when you feel out of your depth. The dream can also arise among adults who find themselves not only in a difficult new situation, but in a situation that does not allow them to express their own concerns.
Childhood dreams
Research has shown that sensitive or gifted children tend to be more prone to dreams and nightmares. Dreams in childhood often mirror the stress and confusion that is associated with the early years of our lives. Frightening dreams or nightmares are common to children up to the age of around eight. If you are a concerned parent, simply talking about the dream with your child can help dissipate the tension around them. Avoid the instinct to tell the child that it was just a dream and that dreams aren’t real, as this may discourage your child from confiding in you, or simply frustrate them because you don’t take it seriously. You may also have a child who dreams with their eyes open for a few seconds after the dream is over and they are awake. In general, such experiences are not signs of a disorder, but if you are concerned, talk to your doctor or a pediatrician.
FLYING
Dreams about flying are common to late childhood and early adolescence. The dreams vary: some dream of jumping or falling from a great height, others run and jump into flight, whereas others jump from a great height and discover that they can fly. Dream researchers believe that dreams about flight can reflect the drive within each of us to be free to express, explore and experience life, so it makes sense that we dream most often about flying during a stage in life when we are becoming aware of abilities that will take us places later in life.
MONSTERS
Monster dreams in childhood reflect dramatically frightening things that have disturbed a child, in particular how frightening it can be for a child when the people they love and trust behave in an angry or scary way. This may be, for example, when a loving mother loses her temper or a caring dad disciplines his child. According to some psychologists, children dream of monsters because they are unwilling to believe anything bad about the people they are dependent on. If you are a parent and feel that you are reflected in monster dreams, try to encourage your child to share these dreams with you. Bear in mind that, in some instances, the monster may reflect someone else in your child’s life: a sibling, an uncle or aunt, or even a neighbor. This is particularly so among school-age children who have to meet the expectation of peers and teachers.
PERFECT MONSTERS
This dream is common to the middle childhood and preteen years. In the dream there is a repetitive task that needs to be performed usually at the command of monsters. The task is usually something gruesome or sinister, like digging graves or sorting body parts. The dreamer is horrified by the task but numbed by the repletion and tedium, and in the dream more likely to be upset about the workload than the actual nature of the task. This dream often reflects the stress of young children who feel they must achieve and meet standards imposed upon them. The unconscious is reminding them that the casualties of a task-orientated approach to life may be other desires, interests and feelings. Although many dreams during this stage of life reflect the joy of achievement and the desire for recognition, this dream represents the tension associated with high achievement.
SINISTER TOYS
Another very common childhood dream is of a toy or other harmless object, such as a book or pencil, that suddenly becomes menacing. Again such dreams can reflect tensions about situations the child find threatening or disturbing. If your child has such dreams, you may want to consider if a normal aspect of your life, for example, a camping trip or relatives visiting, is making a child feel uncertain.
SOMETHING IN THE BEDROOM
One of the most common dreams of early childhood is that there is something scary in the bedroom: a monster in the wardrobe or aliens in the corner of the room. A child may feel as if something or someone is coming to get them. These kinds of dreams tend to reoccur and it is easy to assume that something is upsetting the child in waking life; it is worth noting, however, that these dreams are amongst the most common in childhood, as a child reaches out to discover the world with all its excitement—and sometimes dangerous possibilities. If there is tension in the home or a lot of uncertainty and inconsistency, this can trigger stressful dreams for a child. Scary monsters tend to represent people, whereas bugs or slimy things may represent situations. You may have to be patient and gentle, and create a feeling of stability as your child learns to adjust to changes in the world around them.
WILD ANIMAL ATTACK
When children begin school they often dream of wild animals attacking, such as lions, bulls, alligators and bears. Wild animals tend to reflect a person or situation that is upsetting the child. For example, a child may be worried about parents who are constantly fighting, and this fear can be symbolized as a bear fight. Or a child may be frightened by a strict head teacher, who subsequently appears in their dreams as a mean lion.
Childhood Revisited Scenarios
It is during childhood that we learn many of the fundamental rules and responsibilities of life. It is also the time when we develop our personalities and become increasingly socialized. It makes sense, therefore, that dreams of revisiting a place or a scenario from your own childhood often focus on lessons that you learned, or failed to learn, and these lessons may be relevant to your current situation. If you dreamed of a particularly happy childhood memory—for example, you are seven years old and your dad brings home your first bike, or you are five years old sitting happily on your mum’s lap sucking your thumb—the dream could either be pointing to your nostalgia for a time when life was full of fun, or it could be more concerned with your present feelings of insecurity. The dream is reminding you of a time when life was simple, and in so doing, it compensates you for your current feelings of confusion. If you are facing a difficult decision, it could also have been highlighting your need to put yourself forward and take a risk by focusing on your new bike—something you wanted but also feared, as you weren’t wholly confident riding it yet.
Consider, too, whether your unconscious has cast archetypal figures in the role of your mother and father. Relation-figures in dreams of childhood can often represent archetypes rather than actual family members. Alternatively, if your unhappy childhood returns to haunt you in dreams (which may reoccur), your unconscious may be forcing you to relive those miserable times in an attempt to make you confront the source of your distress and deal with it, now that you have an adult understanding of the situation. Your unconscious is trying to help you come to terms with what happened to you, so you can put it behind you.
ACTIVITIES AND ENVIRONMENTS ASSOCIATED WITH CHILDHOOD
Dreams about activities and environments associated with childhood can be either motivating or discouraging, depending on the details of your dream and how you felt. For example, if you had a happy time playing with your dolls or a toy train set, your dream may simply be reminding you of the simple pleasure of letting your guard down from time to time to do nothing useful but play and relax. These kinds of dreams are particularly common if you have been extremely busy recently and haven’t had time to have fun. If, however, you were bored by the toy or activity in your dream, your unconscious may be urging you to put away childish things that don’t really give you stimulation and satisfaction, and to spend your time more productively.
Toys in dreams not only reflect your desire for more play, or urge you to grow up in some way, they can also suggest nostalgia for childhood that has been lost. Dolls are especially important because they so resemble the human form, and because children endow them with emotions and characters. Your dreaming mind may therefore use a doll to symbolize something or someone in your life. For example, if you stick needles or pins in the doll, or mistreat it in any way, this can represent negative feelings towards a particular person. Many doll dreams use the doll as a target for violence and, if this is the case, it could also refer to how the dreamer felt as a child when smacked emotionally or physically—like a helpless child. Dolls can also represent emotions that the dreamer would like to discharge on someone else, or the feeling of wanting to be a precious doll to someone. It may also express some undeveloped part of the dreamer’s personality and the need to relearn some childhood lessons we may have forgotten.
If you dreamed that you were in a playground surrounded by other children, were you enjoying yourself or did you feel left out? If you felt exhilarated, your unconscious may once again be signaling your need to have more fun in waking life, but if you felt aloof or alone from the other children, it could suggest that you prefer to play no part in the immature behaviour currently displayed by a group of people in your waking life. See also references to toys and games in LEISURE.
BODY (#ulink_a61c2519-53d0-5003-aaef-2dd84420fc78)
Typically, dreams about the body, or parts of the body, occur for four reasons.
The first is that in waking life, your body and/or body image has taken center stage. For example, if you had a manicure yesterday or cut yourself shaving, your unconscious may simply be recalling that. The second reason is that dreams about your body, or body parts, can signal ailments before you consciously recognize what is wrong with you; sometimes even before there are any physical signs. This isn’t to say every nightmare suggests serious illness, but if you do have a dream about any part of the body that is injured or painful, especially if it is a reoccurring one, it might be worth booking an appointment for a check-up.
The third reason is that some dreams about the human body are simple reflections of the dreamer’s feeling about their own body or appearance. These dreams can be significant markers of the dreamer’s self-esteem regarding their physical appearance. If in the dream the body appears beautiful and healthy, then the dreamer may be feeling good about themselves. However, an unattractive or unhealthy body could point to signs of insecurity, or body image problems.
The fourth reason is that in dreams, the body often represents the ego, the self or the lifestyle of the dreamer. That is why broken bones or injuries can symbolize emotional pain, or losing parts of yourself. When you lose or give up parts of yourself in order to fit in with or please others, psychologists call this ‘fragmentation’. We all do this to a certain extent in our lives, but when we do it too much or for the wrong reasons, the unconscious may send out warning signals. The dreaming mind may then express its concern in body image dreams, not only about your health and happiness, but about your ability to cope when your true nature is profoundly censored.
