Buck moved his legs to the ground. “You weren’t really surprised, were you?”
“I don’t know. Ever since she got here, I’ve been turned inside out.”
He got to his feet and stretched. “Do you wish she hadn’t come?”
“If this becomes a nightmare for her because of Johnny, then yes. I have no doubt it was his father he was looking for.”
“I’m sure you’re right. It’s only natural. But she chose to accept our invitation. There’s a risk in everything and nothing’s perfect in this imperfect world. You have to know they’ve been having a wonderful time.”
“But at what cost?”
“That’s your old guilt talking, Carson. You’ve got to stop taking on what can’t be helped.”
Buck was right. “I don’t know how to do that.”
“It’s the only flaw I find in you. See you in the morning.”
Chapter Seven
“Come on, honey.” Johnny was slow putting on his cowboy boots this morning. “Now that we’ve had breakfast, they’re calling us to pack up.” So far he hadn’t talked about his bad dream last night. That was good, because now wasn’t the time for the serious discussion with him about Carson.
Johnny reached for his cowboy hat and put it on. “Do we have to go back to the ranch today?”
“Yes.” She finished putting his things in the saddlebag.
“But I like it here.”
“There are a lot more fun things we’re going to do. Remember what Buck said while he was cooking our pancakes? Ross is taking us on a hike over in Teton Park. We haven’t been there yet.”
“Why isn’t Carson coming with us?”
“You know why. He has business matters to take care of today.”
“I’d rather stay home and ride Goldie.”
Home?
“You can ride her after dinner. Here. You carry your saddlebag and I’ll bring mine.”
After fastening her hair back with a clip, she opened the tent flap and they joined everyone congregated by the horses. She could hear the men coughing. Carson’s black Stetson stood out as he finished saddling Goldie. He darted her a private glance before his blue gaze fell on Johnny. He took the bag from him and attached it.
“Up you go, partner.” He helped him mount and handed him the reins.
“Who’s going to take down our tents and stuff?”
“Some of my ranch hands. They came yesterday to set everything up for us.”
“Oh.”
“Remember what to do when the other ponies crowd in,” he whispered. Tracy heard that and smiled.
Johnny’s face brightened. “Yup.”
Carson moved to Tracy’s horse, Annie, who was ready to go. In a deft move he fastened Tracy’s saddlebag. While she mounted, he undid the reins and put them in her hands, giving them a little squeeze.
* * *
TRACY HAD BEEN so excited about the date he’d made with her last night, she’d had trouble getting to sleep. When he’d brought Johnny to the tent in the middle of the night, his presence had made it impossible for her to settle back down. With that squeeze just now, she felt breathless.
He mounted his horse with effortless masculine precision. “Is everyone ready?”
“I am!” Sam called out.
“How about you, Rachel?”
“I’ve been ready for a long time.” Her comment produced chuckles from everyone, including her parents.
“Then let’s move out.” Carson sounded like the hero in a Western film. Johnny fell in line right behind him, followed by the other kids, then the parents. Tracy stayed in front of Buck, who brought up the rear. A wagon train without a wagon. She loved it. In fact, she loved it too much. She was as bad as Johnny.
At first when they moved through the forest, she thought it was the trees making it seem darker than usual. But she soon realized clouds had moved in over the Tetons, blotting out the sun’s rays. She felt the temperature drop. The sight of clouds after so many days of sunshine came as a surprise.
She dropped back to ride alongside Buck. “We had blue sky at breakfast. I can’t believe how fast the weather has changed. Do you think there’s going to be a storm?”
He nodded. “This cold front has moved in with more force than I’d anticipated. If it keeps up, we may not be able to go on that hike today.”
Johnny wouldn’t mind that at all. But he wouldn’t like it if he couldn’t go riding. “In that case, it’ll be a good day for the children to play in the game room. A marathon Monopoly session will keep them occupied.”
He laughed. “When we were young, my brothers and I used to play it all night. It drove my parents crazy.”
“Where did you grow up, Buck?”
“Colorado Springs.”
“I’ve heard it’s beautiful there.”
“It is, but I’ve decided nothing beats this place.” A cough followed.
“How long do you plan to stay here?”
He flicked her an enigmatic glance. “If our business venture bears fruit, I’ll build a home here and put down roots.”
“What did you do before you went into the Marines?”
Buck’s eyes got a faraway look. “My dad’s in the construction business. Our family didn’t know anything else.”
“I see.”
There was so much he didn’t say, she heard pain and decided not to question him further. “While I have the chance, I want to thank you for all you’ve done to make this trip possible for Johnny and me. This is a once-in-a-lifetime adventure that so few people will ever enjoy. We won’t forget your kindness and generosity for as long as we live.”
“We’re glad you’re having such a good time. It makes everything we’ve done worthwhile, believe me.”
While they’d been talking, they’d come out of the trees into the sagebrush. The track widened. “I’m going to ride up to Johnny and see how he’s doing.”
“Go right ahead. It’s been a pleasure talking to you.”
“For me, too, Buck.”
She spurred her horse on past the others, delighted at the sight of her son moving along so comfortably on Goldie. Before he saw her, she whipped out her phone and took some more pictures of everyone. Carson was right in front of Johnny so he got into the pictures, too, without his knowledge.
As she put her phone away, she noticed the ponies edging up on Goldie. It really was funny how they wanted to be by her. In a minute they’d reached Johnny. She couldn’t wait to see what would happen.
“Hey, Carson—here they come!”
His mentor moved to the side of the track to make room for him. She watched Johnny brace himself before he cried, “Giddyup!” and kicked his heels at the same time. Goldie was a smart little girl and trotted off, leaving the others behind. Sam and Rachel looked totally surprised.
Unable to help herself, Tracy urged her horse forward so she could catch up to her son. Once abreast of him she said, “Well done, cowboy.”
“Did you see that, Mom?” Excitement filled his countenance.
“I sure did.”
By now, Carson had caught up on his other side. “Thanks for teaching me that trick, Carson.”
“Any time, partner.”
Over Johnny’s hat her gaze fused with Carson’s. She could tell he was proud of her son. So was she. It was one of those incredible moments. “At this point I feel like we’re actors in a movie on location out West.”
He grinned. “We are out West, but instead of the Ponderosa, our star actor, Johnny Baretta, is headed with his posse for the Teton Valley Ranch on his wonder pony, Goldie!”
Johnny giggled. “You’re so funny, Carson.”
Oh, Carson—you’re so wonderful, it hurts.
During this halcyon moment, they all heard thunder, the kind that could put a crack in those glorious mountains in the far distance. It kept echoing up and down the valley.
“Whoa!” Johnny cried out along with the other kids.
Carson whistled. “Now that’s the kind of thunder that grows hair on a man’s chest.” Johnny burst into uproarious laughter. It set the tone for the ride in, calming any fears the children might have had. Their host turned in the saddle. “First person to reach the corral gets a banana split for lunch!”
“Goody!”
By the time the barn came into view, sheet lightning was illuminating the dark clouds that had settled in over the area. Tracy shot Carson a glance. “I’ve never seen anything so spectacular.”
“During a storm it gets pretty exciting around here.”
Almost as exciting as he was.
The first drops of rain pelted them as they rode into the barn to dismount. Bert came out of his office and helped the children down. Buck smiled at everyone. “Looks like we got home in the nick of time.”
Ralph eyed the children. “I wonder who won?”
“Carson,” all three kids said in unison.
He shook his head. “You were all there right behind me. I say everyone gets a banana split.”
“Hooray!”
While the men removed the saddles and bridles, Johnny walked over to Carson. “Do you think the horses got scared?” Sometimes Tracy marveled over her son’s sensitivity.
“After that first clap of thunder, I think they were a little fidgety, but since we didn’t show any fear, they did fine out there. Tell you what. I’m going to take everyone back to the ranch house in the Jeep. But we’ll have to make two trips. Why don’t you kids come with me first, because I know you’re hungry.”
“Whoopie!”
Tracy watched them follow Carson into the drenching rain. She walked over to Ralph and Monica. This was the perfect time to talk to them in private. “Now we’re alone for a minute, I have something to ask you, but please don’t worry if you don’t feel it’s something you want to do.”
When she told them, Monica’s face lit up. “We were just going to approach you about the same thing. The kids like each other and trust you.”
“Johnny thinks you guys are great, too. This is perfect. I’ll babysit for you tomorrow night.”
“Thank you. We’re dying to go into Jackson and have a little time alone.”
Tracy could relate to that. She gathered the two saddlebags while they waited for Carson’s return. Tonight was going to be a special time with a very special man and she planned to enjoy it to the fullest. After she and Johnny were back in Ohio, it would be a memory she would pull out and relive when the going got tough again. But she didn’t want to think about the tough part right now.
* * *
CARSON HAD ONLY seen Tracy in jeans or a bathing suit. When she opened the cabin door at seven-thirty, he was treated to a vision of a different kind. With her blond hair loose, the champagne-colored skirt and gauzy blouse looked sensational on her. Soft and dreamy. Her high-heeled sandals showed off her shapely legs.
“Carson—” Her hazel eyes played over him longer than usual. “I almost didn’t recognize you in a regular suit minus the boots and hat. I don’t think Johnny would, either.”
“A man has to be civilized around here once in a while. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I’ll grab my purse and jacket.”
They left the cabin and he helped her into his Altima. The storm had passed, leaving everything cooler. He loved the smell of the sage after the rain. “Is Johnny all right with this?”
“I wondered about it when I broached the subject this afternoon. When he found out he’d be staying at the Harris’s cabin until I got back, he didn’t exactly mind we were going somewhere without him. Of course, I had to promise I’d come and get him.”
“Of course.” Carson started the engine and drove off. “Since you’ve told me how protective he can be, I guess I wondered if he put up a fuss that I’m taking you out.”
“Are you kidding? The king of the cowboys?”
Her comment removed the bands constricting his lungs. The result was another bout of coughing. “After his nightmare, I worried his father was on his mind.”
“I’m sure he was, subconsciously, but he didn’t mention Tony at all. In fact, he hasn’t talked about him once since our arrival here. That tells me you and your friends have achieved your goal to bring our family some happiness. Today made it evident that my son has come out of his shell. Your goodness and generosity are the sole reason for that. I told Buck the same thing earlier today.”
Carson had noticed the two of them talking as they’d headed back to the ranch. “And what about you, Tracy? Are you enjoying yourself?”
“You know very well that question doesn’t need an answer. I could never imagine myself being with another man again. Yet I found myself saying yes when you invited me out. I thought, why not? If Johnny could get on a small plane and dive-bomb into Jackson Hole, then it was time I took a risk. That should tell you a lot.”
It did, but it wasn’t enough. Patience had never been Carson’s strong suit. “I’m taking you to the Hermitage, a French restaurant I haven’t been to since my return from Maryland. It’s in the Spring Creek Ranch area, a thousand feet above the valley floor.
“The view is superb. I thought you might like a change from authentic Western and enjoy some great French food along with a live band that plays a lot of romantic French songs. On Friday night after the rodeo, I’ll take you and Johnny to a fun place for Western music and line dancing. Everyone gets in on the act in their duds. He’ll be in his element.”
He felt her eyes on him. “Be careful, Carson. You’re spoiling us too much. If you treat all the families who come here at your invitation the way you’re treating me and Johnny, no one will ever want to leave.”
“Can I quote you on that when the time comes?” He pulled up to the crowded restaurant and turned off the engine. Luckily he’d made reservations. Even in the semidarkness, he saw color fill her cheeks.
She looked away. “You know what I meant.”
“My friends and I appreciate the compliment.” Levering himself from the car, he went around to help her out. The place had been built to resemble one of those religious retreats in the French Alps. He ushered her through the heavy wooden doors. The high ceilings and huge picture windows were unexpected and provided a contemporary twist.
“Carson! I couldn’t believe it when I heard you’d made a reservation.” A wiry older man came rushing over to the entry and kissed him on both cheeks. “Are you on leave? I haven’t seen you since your grand-père’s funeral.”
“I’ve left the military, Maurice, and am back for good.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”
His throat swelled with emotion. “It’s good to see you.”
“And who is this ravishing creature?”
“Please meet Tracy Baretta, one of the guests staying at the ranch with her son. Tracy, this is Maurice Chappuis, the owner.”
The restaurateur’s warm brown eyes studied her for a long moment. “How do you do, Tracy.”
“It’s very nice to meet you.”
Carson would have said more, but a coughing spell stopped him. Maurice frowned. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“I got it when I was overseas, but I’m not contagious, so don’t worry.” He glanced at Tracy. “His son Jean-Paul and I were friends back in high school. Jean-Paul was a local bull riding legend. Maurice came to all our competitions. What’s he up to these days?”
“Same thing as usual. Helping me here and on the ranch. Except...he got married four months ago and they’re expecting!”
“You’re kidding!” Carson was truly happy for him.
Maurice crossed himself. “He’s off tonight. When I tell him who walked in here, he’ll be overjoyed.”
“Tell him to come by the ranch and bring his wife.”
“I will. Now come. Sit, sit, sit. Only the best champagne in the house for you. I don’t need to tell you we serve the best coq au vin in the world, and we have a new chanteur performing with the band. He does wonderful Charles Aznavour renditions.”
“That’s why we’re here.” He gave Maurice another hug. Seeing him like this brought the past hurtling back. Once again his guilt took over. Jean-Paul hadn’t gone away. He wasn’t restless, as Carson had been. Once his rodeo days were over, he’d stayed in Jackson. He’d built a life here, helping his father. Now he had a wife.
After Maurice seated Tracy, Carson took the seat opposite her at the window with its amazing view of the valley. The wine steward came over to pour them champagne. When he was gone, she eyed her dinner companion with concern.
“Maurice is wonderful, but I can tell something’s wrong.” Her naturally arched brows lifted. “Memories?”
He nodded soberly. “Too many. They all came rushing in at once.”
“I know the feeling. When you handed that photograph to Johnny at the airport, and I saw Tony, it was like instant immersion into a former life.”
“Immersion’s a good word.” He drank some champagne. “Mmm. You should try this. It’s like velvet.”
But she remained still. “You loved your grandfather, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then why do I sense so much sadness?”
“You know the old saying, act in haste and repent at leisure? That’s me. But I don’t want to talk about me tonight.” He lifted his wineglass. “I’m dining with a beautiful woman and don’t want anything to spoil it. Here’s to an unforgettable evening.”
She lifted her glass to touch his, and then sipped. “Oh—” She smiled. “That’s really good.”
“Isn’t it?”
The waiter brought their meal and a basket of freshly baked croissants. Maurice didn’t usually serve these with dinner, but he knew how much Carson loved them.
“You have to try one of these. They literally melt in your mouth. I’ve eaten a dozen of them in one sitting before.”
She took a bite. “I believe you.”
While they ate their meal, he saw the dance band assemble across the room. A man in a turtleneck and jacket took over the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said in heavily accented French. “I’ve been told we have a very special guest in the restaurant tonight. Monsieur Lundgren, it is up to you to choose our first number before the dancing starts.”
Carson chuckled. Trust Maurice to pull this. He glanced at Tracy, whose smile haunted him. “Go on. I’m curious to know what you pick.”
“How about, ‘Yesterday When I Was Young’?”
Many people in the restaurant clapped because they knew the song, too. Once the man started to sing, Carson’s eyes slid to Tracy’s. Their eyes didn’t leave each other until the singing was over.
“I first heard that song before I was sent to the hospital,” he told her. “Remember the opening lines about being young and the taste of life sweet on the tongue, of treating life as if it were a foolish game?” She nodded. “All of it burned through me like a red-hot poker. That’s what I’d done, and now that time was gone.
“I looked back at my own life, knowing I could never return to those times. I felt older than my grandfather who’d passed away. Opportunities had been missed. Too late I learned that the now of life is the essence.”
Her eyes filled and she reached across the table to squeeze his hand gently.
“Let’s dance.” Carson stood, and reached for her to join him.
They gravitated to each other on the dance floor. When he pulled her into his arms she whispered, “You’re still young, Carson.”
He drew her tighter against him without saying anything. They danced every dance. He forgot the time, the place. Carson needed the warmth of her lissome body. With each movement he inhaled her sweet fragrance and felt every breath she took.
“I need to be alone with you, Tracy. Let’s get out of here.” He felt a tremor shake her body as he led her back to the table. Once he’d left some bills, he ushered her out of the restaurant to the car.
A few residue clouds obscured the moon. Except for his coughing, they drove back to the ranch in silence. It was after eleven, but there was no way this evening was over. Maybe she wouldn’t like it, but he pulled around to the rear of the ranch house and shut off the engine.
“This is my home. I’d like you to see how I live. I want you to come in and be with me for a while. If that doesn’t—”
“It’s what I’d like, too,” she broke in. He sensed she wanted to be with him. What surprised him was how forthright she was. That’s the way the whole night had gone.
He got out and went around to help her from the car. “The guys live upstairs. I have the back of the house to myself.”
They walked down the hall to his bedroom, where Buck had done some remodeling for him. His grandfather’s former room had been turned into a suite with its own sitting room and bathroom, but Carson wasn’t thinking about that right now. He started to help her off with her jacket, but the moment he touched her, he couldn’t help kissing the side of her neck.
“So help me, I promised myself I wouldn’t do this, but I don’t seem to have any control when I get close to you.”
She twisted around until she faced him. That beautiful face. “Neither do I.”
“Tracy—”
Carson lowered his head and covered her mouth with his own, exultant that at last he was tasting her. The singing line of her mouth had been tempting him for days. By some miracle she was kissing him back and she went on giving kiss after kiss. Like their dancing, they couldn’t stop. It felt too wonderful to love this way.
He’d been empty for too many years. He wanted to go slow, but he didn’t know how. She wasn’t helping him. This merging of lips and bodies was so powerful, their desire for each other took on a life of its own. Carson didn’t remember picking her up and carrying her to the bed. But there she was, lying on the mattress, looking up at him with a longing he could hardly credit was for him.
After crushing her mouth once more, he lifted his head, but he was out of breath. “I brought you here to...to do this...and to talk.”
“I know,” she half moaned. “That’s why I came. We have to talk.”
“How are we supposed to do that now? Do you have any idea how much I want to make love to you?”
“That makes two of us.” Her voice trembled. “Don’t hate me too much if I confess that I wanted you to kiss me to see if what I was feeling was real.”
“You mean I was an experiment.”
“Yes. But so was I to you—be honest about that.” Her eyes beseeched him to understand. “After Tony, I—”
“You don’t need to explain anything to me,” he cut in. “I’ve been wondering about that, too, but no longer. It’s real, all right.” He buried his face in her fragrant hair.
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