Highland Hearts
“Even if that’s so, Logan, how on earth would we pay for that? I am not about to sell myself as an indentured servant.” Angus’s face reddened. “I will not be a slave to another man.”
“You won’t have to.” Logan remembered the earful he’d received from Sheena about becoming an indentured servant; hearing it now from his brother made him a trifle annoyed. “And by the way, not all indentured servants are treated so unfairly.”
Angus scanned Logan protectively. “I’m hoping you’re speaking from experience.”
“Aye. There are opportunities in the Americas that we don’t have here.” Angus sat quietly, no doubt thinking about everything Logan had just told him. “I don’t want to scare you by what I’ve heard.”
Angus stared at his brother. “What do you mean? I have no enemies.” Logan watched his brother fume.
“Nay, of course not, but Scotland is changing.” Logan leaned over and threw some more peat moss into the fire. “I was on board with some in the landowning class and you cannot rest assured that the land you live on today will be the land you live on tomorrow. You are a tenant farmer. Your landowner can and will—trust my words—take this land away from you. And then what will you do, change how you earn a living? Relocate your family to the coast and become a fisherman?” Logan poked at the fire with a stick, sending sparks flaring into the darkness.
Angus wrung his hands, staring down at them. “This is very grave indeed. But you’re right. The government did seize the Duke of Perth’s estate.”
“Aye. You may face a very bleak future here, but after all you’ve done for me, I want to help you. I want to offer you hope for a better life. A place where you own your own land and no one can throw you off it.”
Angus turned toward Logan again. “You speak of the Americas as if they were the Promised Land.”
“I speak from experience.” Logan leaned forward to rest the stick against the dirt wall beside the fire. “I worked as an indentured servant for three very long years.” Logan breathed in the heavy air, letting the smoky scent he missed at sea fill his nostrils. “I was blessed with a good master and I thank God for that every day. But I never took it for granted. When I was freed, my master kept his promise and gave me some money. However, that money wouldn’t have been enough to come back with, so I spent two additional years guarding the town of New Inverness, in return for a land grant.”
A smile overtook Angus’s shock. “You own land?”
“Aye. Out of the darkness, my brother.” Logan smiled back. “And I want to share it with you. Together we can farm the land and live a good life.”
“Logan that’s all very well, but I have no money to pay for our voyage.” Angus stood to add even more peat moss to the fire.
“I may be the little brother by four years, but you must give me more credit. I wouldn’t have returned without a means to get us all back. I’ve already taken care of that. Without family in the Americas, I did little else besides sleep and work.”
“No doubt.” Angus sat down again. “You must put some meat on your bones before you attempt to cross the sea again.” He leaned over and squeezed Logan’s arm in assessment. Logan smiled, knowing Angus had changed his mind about the perils of leaving Scotland. And Logan moved one step closer to making his dreams a reality.
“Any spare time I found while in the Americas, I spent making extra money however I could—farming, stable work, jobs that no one else wanted to do.” Logan laughed. “But I had a purpose and that got me through it.”
“And now you’ve come home to offer me and mine all of this?” Angus stood again and this time Logan stood to meet his brother.
“You are my family.” Logan hugged him. After his day with the McDougalls, it felt good to look toward the future.
Life may remain unpredictable. And only God knew why things turned out the way they did. But with whatever time God gave Logan to live, he wanted to make sure he made his life count for something. He needed to start living his dreams, instead of just thinking about them.
“We must take care of each other, Logan.”
“That’s what you always told me. And I’m happy to finally be able to pay you back.”
“Logan, you don’t have to.”
“I know.” Logan squeezed his brother’s shoulders. “I want to.”
Angus laughed. “Let me talk things over with Nessia.” He took hold of Logan’s shoulders now and brought their heads close. “Thank you for your offer,” he told him solemnly.
Logan smiled. “You can thank me when you see your new home. They’re made differently in the Americas. There’s wood aplenty—no importing it from Norway for huge sums of money.” A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.
They looked at each other and then at the door. Angus dropped hold of Logan and strode over to it. Who would come knocking at this late hour? Logan watched Angus carefully for any sign that he needed assistance. But none came.
“Cait, this is a surprise. Please come in.” Angus stepped aside to let his sister-in-law into his dimly lit home. “We only ever get to see you on Sunday at church. And here it is well past ten on a Saturday night. How did you get out of the house to come all this way?”
“I finished my duties and then I snuck out.” Cait took her soaking wet, brown shawl off her head and unwrapped herself from its woolen security before handing it to Angus. “I couldn’t help myself. I heard Logan was home and I’d rather see him than sleep.”
She let out a gasp of delight when she spotted Logan standing by the only light source in the hut—the fire. Without a moment’s hesitation, she hurried over and embraced him.
“Look at you, Cait. All grown up.” Logan surveyed her at arm’s length.
Cait blushed uncontrollably, as she gave him the most awkward curtsy he ever saw. He stifled a grin. Some things didn’t change. “That’s right. I’m not the little girl who used to pester you day and night.”
“Cait is in training to be a parlor maid.” Angus laid her brown shawl near the fire to dry.
“Is that so?” Logan couldn’t help teasing her. As Nessia’s little sister, Cait felt like his little sister, as well.
“Aye,” Cait nodded proudly, her straight brunette hair shaking off droplets of rain where the wetness had managed to evade her shawl.
“And how is it to be a parlor maid?”
“Most of the time, pretty scary.” Cait rolled her eyes. “Except when I get to cater to Sheena. She’s always very nice to me.”
“Sheena?” Since when did Cait work for Sheena? Surely in the time since Logan’s homecoming Angus might have mentioned something that important. He shot his brother a look.
“Aye,” Cait answered.
“The two older women can be a bit brutish.” Angus wrinkled his nose as if their behavior bore a foul odor.
“But not just to me.” Cait looked from Angus to Logan. “They’re pretty horrible to Sheena, too, when it suits them.” Logan’s face fell.
“What two older women?” His brain tried to put the puzzle together, but he couldn’t without all the pieces. And apparently, after five years away, he couldn’t assume anything anymore. Not even something as simple as Sheena still living with her parents in the house where she grew up. Sheena told him everything had changed. But what exactly did that entail?
Angus’s voice brought Logan’s thoughts back to the present. “The two older women are Sheena’s mother, Tavia, and her aunt Jean.” That only brought to light more questions. If she lived with her mother and aunt, where had her father and brother gone?
Cait spoke up then. “I’d like to give Tavia and Jean a good tongue lashing one of these days.”
“You’d better not.” Nessia wrapped a floor-length shawl around her nightgown as she moved into the circle. All the commotion had awakened her. “You mind your place in that house, Cait. It is a good station for you.”
“Aye,” Cait replied, as a reprimanded child would to her mother.
“Logan, may I have a word with you?” Angus nudged his head in the direction of the door and Logan nodded.
“But I’ve just come,” Cait pouted.
“We’ll have time together.” Logan pinched her cheek. “You don’t think we’d let you go anywhere alone at this hour, do you?” Logan stepped toward his brother. “I’ll take you back. So we’ll catch up then, right?” Her good humor resurfaced before she turned to face her older sister.
“I know this is asking too much, but what about Cait?” Angus whispered, safely out of earshot. “We could never leave without her. And we have practically nothing to sell to raise money.”
“Angus, I’ve made arrangements for seven of us to go. I would never think of leaving Cait behind. I’ve always considered her my family, too.” Logan squeezed his brother’s shoulder, but Angus looked strangely discomfited.
“I don’t understand.” Angus stared down at his fingers, using them to calculate something. “I count one extra person. We’re only six.” He looked up at Logan, his face full of confusion. “You, me, Nessia, Ewan, Duncan, and Cait. Six.”
Logan smiled at him. “You’ve forgotten Sheena.”
Angus took a small step back in bewilderment. “You expect her to go with you?”
“I expect a lot from her, and marrying me is at the top of that list.”
“Logan, Sheena’s mother never thought of you as a good match for Sheena. You’ll have a difficult time convincing them otherwise.” Angus shook his head.
“Aye. So I’ve come to find out since being back.” Logan’s mind floated to his meeting with Sheena at their waterfall. “More than you know.” Logan lowered his head toward his brother to make sure he would hear him even in his hushed tone. “I might as well tell you now. We’ve only got two weeks left in Scotland before we set sail.”
Angus’s jaw dropped, but Logan kept talking. “A few of us promised the other men we’d bring letters back to their families, so we divvied them up and I took the bunch for Glasgow. I should have already delivered them, but with Gordon McDougall’s death, I had to come straight home to Callander. Now we have just about a week to say goodbye to this village before we head to Glasgow. Our ship departs from there and I need time to deliver these letters.”
“A week. Only a week?” Angus raised his eyebrows. But Logan didn’t even know if Angus could keep up a coherent conversation anymore, because he just kept mumbling, “a week.” Nevertheless, Logan nodded once to Angus’s rhetorical question before Nessia broke into their huddle.
“I don’t know what you two are talking about, but Cait must be returned to the Montgomerys’ house immediately. She’s only allowed a limited amount of free time on Sundays. I can’t believe she risked her job to come here on a Saturday night. She should have just waited to see you in church tomorrow, Logan. If someone finds out she is missing, she will lose her post. Then what will she do?”
Angus and Logan exchanged a knowing look. They knew exactly what they wanted Cait to do.
Chapter Four
“So what are the Americas like, Logan?” Cait asked as they made their way to the Montgomery household.
“I stayed mostly in a place they originally called New Inverness, and even though it shares the same name as Inverness, not much else is the same as the Highlands. For one, it’s a lot warmer there.” Even on this spring night, he hugged himself against the wet chill soaking into every inch of his body. “Anyway, now they call it Darien, and it’s in one of the most southern colonies in the Americas, known as Georgia.”
“I can’t even imagine it.” Cait shivered as she sighed. At least it had stopped raining. “I wish I could envision it all.”
Logan looked over at her. “Would you like to go there?” He broached the subject carefully.
“Are you joking?” Cait rolled her eyes. “I’d give anything to be able to live life the way I want to. Have my own home with a husband and children, instead of working in someone else’s house as a parlor maid.” Cait blushed. “Like Nessia.”
“Aye, Nessia and Angus are lucky.” Logan looked straight ahead into the darkness—he wanted the same blissful life with Sheena. “You’re still young, Cait. Do you even have a young man?” Immediately Cait looked down at her shoes, shaking her head. “You don’t?”
“I think I would know if I did, Logan.” She crossed her arms. “Please don’t tease me about it. I already feel terrible that in all my twenty years no man has ever seen me the way Angus looks at Nessia.”
“Cait, I didn’t mean to tease. The right man will show up someday.” Logan smiled at her. “But I am happy to hear that you’re unattached.”
“Logan, you are not the type of person to take pleasure in the unhappiness of others.” Cait still didn’t look at him.
“Nay. You know me well enough. But you do not know my plans.” Logan let out a whistle into the quiet night air.
“Please tell me.” Cait grabbed his arm, making Logan unable to keep her in suspense any longer.
“I want us all to go to the Americas together. Angus, Nessia, their wee ones, you and Sheena. I’ll pay your way, Cait, if you want to come with us.”
Logan watched Cait’s expression and she beamed. “If Nessia’s going, so will I.”
“Perfect.” Logan’s face shone, too. “Angus still has to consult with Nessia, but hopefully she’ll see it as we do. It will be a better life for all of us. And there are lots of unattached men in the Americas, so you’ll have your pick of eligible bachelors.”
Cait shot him a less-than-amused look, but perked up quickly enough. “This is like a dream. It just doesn’t seem real.” Logan thought she might actually break into a jig. Not that he would stop her.
“We’re leaving Scotland.” Cait giggled. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Logan’s spirits lifted. “Not the sleeplessness—that’s not what I meant.” He laughed, but Cait didn’t even notice, as she seemed deep in thought about something else.
“I can’t believe Sheena never told me anything about these plans. It was only too kind of her to tell me that you came home, but she left this part out entirely.”
“That’s because she doesn’t know yet. I haven’t actually been able to talk to her about my idea.” Logan lowered his voice. “It seems a lot has changed with her since I’ve been gone.”
“Aye. You hurt her so much when you left. But you must not give up on her. Get her to forgive you. You have loved her your whole life. And I know she loved you, too. You must get her to love you again.”
“So you know she does not love me anymore?” The words tasted bitter coming out of his mouth.
“Nay, I think she still loves you. Even if she may argue differently.” Cait stopped and grabbed hold of Logan’s shoulder. “Logan, I must let her tell you herself what has become of her, because she swore me to secrecy. But I can tell you this, on Monday her aunt Jean came from Glasgow to visit for a week or so. Jean’s been doing this on and off for almost a year now. But this time Jean brought Sheena some news that changed the course of Sheena’s life.”
Cait let go of Logan’s shoulder, shaking her head. “If only you had come a month earlier, Logan. Then maybe none of this would have happened to her.”
Logan couldn’t bear waiting to find out what news Cait withheld. But he couldn’t ask her to break Sheena’s trust. He knew what keeping a secret entailed. He’d kept one all this time at Sheena’s father’s behest.
“Don’t look at me like that, Logan. I can’t tell you. But Sheena will. Just give her a chance, and remember—when you do find out, nothing has been done that can’t be undone.”
Logan nodded unenthusiastically. Winning Sheena’s love back seemed harder than he ever imagined. Was this change the one Sheena had alluded to at their waterfall? The event that had changed her whole life? He must find out.
“Don’t despair, Logan.” Cait squeezed his hand. “God will help you. I know He will.”
They fell silent as they neared the quiet two-story house. Creeping up behind a mound of rocks several feet from the white house, they sought to avoid peering eyes, if any existed.
“Cait? Is that you?” a whispered voice called out from the darkness.
Cait called back just as quietly, “Sheena?”
“Aye.” Logan heard Sheena’s footsteps making their way toward the sound of Cait’s voice. He kept silent. He didn’t want her running away again. He wanted so badly to get near her. To talk to her, see her smile, hear her laugh. He missed her so much. Why did the sight of him at their waterfall send her running away, crying?
As Sheena’s footsteps grew louder, Logan grew more tense. He desperately wanted things to work out between them. He needed to explain, to do whatever it took to win back her love.
He kept still and listened to her talk to Cait, waiting for the right time to make his presence known.
“I’ve been standing guard ever since you slipped out. I left the door open for you to get back in.” Logan smiled to himself. Finally, the Sheena he knew and loved.
“Sheena, you didn’t have to wait out here. You’ve put yourself in peril for me. But I won’t let my foolishness be the cause of you getting into any trouble,” Cait told her.
Sheena shrugged off Cait’s concern. “Not to worry. We could stay out until dawn and no one would be the wiser.”
“If that’s so …” Logan’s voice startled Sheena and she let out a squeal. In a fraction of a second, Logan grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth so that her sound wouldn’t carry to the windows above. His whispered words came out calmly, even though he hardly felt serene. “I suggest you and I take this opportunity to talk, lassie.”
“I’ll stand guard by the door.” Cait didn’t give Sheena a chance to refuse her offer.
“Harrumph.” Sheena’s exclamation sent heat into Logan’s hand and he released her mouth instantly.
“Sorry.” He remained close to her. It took all his willpower not to kiss her. He’d wanted to from the moment he saw her standing on the edge of their waterfall and now with her so close, he wanted her even closer.
“It’s all right.” Sheena tried to gather her auburn hair and Logan wished she wouldn’t. He liked it hanging loose. “I didn’t know you were here. You could have said something earlier.”
Logan could see the muscles on Sheena’s face tighten in the moonlight and it made him smile. “So far since I’ve been back, lassie, I’ve stopped your heart two or three times.”
“Aye.” Sheena pulled her dark blue woolen shawl taut. “You need to learn how to introduce yourself properly.”
“Apparently.” Logan laughed, even though he did so alone.
“Thank you for bringing Cait home safely.” Sheena stretched out her hand. But Logan didn’t take it. Even though an excuse to touch her held tremendous appeal.
“Cait thanked me herself. No need for you to, lassie.” He wouldn’t let this fortunate circumstance end so quickly. After five long years away from her, he never wanted to be away from her again. Not even for five minutes.
“You must stop calling me lassie. I am not your sweetheart.”
He leaned toward her. “Since when Sheena? You have always been my lassie.”
“Since you left. I’ve already told you—everything changed when you left. We can’t keep revisiting the past.” She gave him her back.
“We can, and we will, until I change your mind.” Frustrated at her rejection of him, he knew he sounded too harsh, but he couldn’t help himself. She’d never talked to him like this before. Never treated him with so much contempt. Had he lost his best friend—the soul mate he felt God had put in his life?
“You can’t just come back here and expect that nothing changed in five years. There have been battles and death, and so much else.” The wind picked up again and Sheena whirled around trying to tame her hair. It looked as fiery as her temper and just as unmanageable.
“You left, Mr. McAllister. No one made you. You just left.” Sheena pointed at him and then shook her head. “Nobody comes back from the Americas. Once you left, you were as good as dead to me.” Why didn’t she just stick a dagger in him? It would hurt less.
But he wouldn’t slink away and give up on her. He would fight for her. He just needed to figure out what exactly to fight. “Sheena, I told you I would come back. Did you not believe me?” Logan inched ever closer to her, fearing she would dart away at any moment.
“I didn’t receive anything from you. I didn’t know if you were even still alive.” So his absence had scared her, and that angered her. At least she felt something. He could use that, push further.
“There was no way of sending you information,” Logan pleaded. He couldn’t waste any money writing a letter her mother would probably rip up before it even reached Sheena. He had to stay in the Americas and work an extra two years past his three-year indenturement to be able to save enough money for seven sea voyages to the Americas.
“But you were only indentured for three years. After that, why didn’t you come home?” Sheena looked impatient with him.
“I couldn’t.” He knew how bad that sounded.
“You couldn’t or you wouldn’t?” Sheena crossed her arms, shifting her weight to rest on her left leg, waiting for his answer. If she tapped her right foot, he didn’t hear it.
Logan hesitated, knowing she wouldn’t like his answer. “Both.” He didn’t lie to her. He’d never do that.
Sheena’s arms dropped and she shouted, “You could have come home, but you didn’t.”
“Keep your voice down. Do you want to wake up the whole house?” Yelling in the face of possible detection from her family proved just how deep Sheena’s feelings ran. If she didn’t love him, his indenturement and extended stay in the Americas wouldn’t have bothered her this much.
But then why did she keep pushing him away?
“Logan, why are you doing this?” Sheena lowered her voice to a snarl.
“Why am I doing this? What do you mean? Why did I keep my promise to return? You know me, Sheena. You know I always keep my promises.” He reached out his hands and this time she didn’t step away.
Touching her gave him more confidence. She let him in. He moved another step closer, pulling her to him. “I’m sorry. It took longer than I thought before I could return. But I never forgot about you.” He brushed a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear, as he lowered his voice. “Don’t turn your back on me.”
Logan saw emotion flicker across her face. She fought with herself. He didn’t know what she fought, but he knew he somehow got through her barrier. She softened. “Logan, you left before all the fighting broke out. I expected you home in three years. But instead, the year you should have returned, I lost my brother. He died at the Battle of Culloden in 1746.”
“I’m sorry.” Logan rubbed her arm, but she shrugged it off, turning away.
“Nay, it’s not your fault my brother died. He supported Bonnie Prince Charlie’s claim to rule Britain and died trying to regain the monarchy for the House of Stuart. But whether he was right or wrong to give up his life for a cause that failed, he was my parents’ only son and his death killed a part of my father.” Logan saw Sheena’s hand reach up toward her face, wiping tears away. “My father never recovered.”
Logan stepped forward. He wanted to hug her. To hold her and make all her pain go away, but he knew he couldn’t. Too early. He needed to win her trust back. So he gently clasped her shoulders with a caressing gesture.
At first, he felt her shoulders rise and stiffen, but then they relaxed and he rubbed them both, trying to comfort her. “Is that why your aunt is here?” He spoke quietly, his face inches from the back of her head. He almost couldn’t stand the sweet smell of her hair. How many times did he dream about this closeness to her? He loved her so much that holding back hurt.
“Aye. Nay.” Sheena shook her head as if confused. “After my brother’s death not even our livelihood mattered to my father anymore. It’s progressed to the point now where we only have enough to run our household to the end of this month. We have no money left, Logan. My father just kept sinking deeper and deeper into his own world and we lost everything, along with him.”