Highland Hearts
Sheena turned back to Logan, hugging herself snug in her dark blue woolen shawl against the encroaching mist. Logan let his hands drop to his sides. “This past autumn he fell ill and we tried everything to make him better. We even bought him spa water to drink from Bath in England, but it didn’t help him. He died.”
Logan couldn’t believe that Arthur Montgomery had died. When Logan left five years ago, Arthur ran the Montgomery household as efficiently and astutely as any great man. By now his age would accumulate to fifty years—surely everyone had expected him to enjoy many more good years.
And yet, Arthur’s death had other repercussions, as well. Only he and Logan knew about what they’d discussed at that meeting when Logan had asked to marry Sheena. And only they knew about the Montgomery’s heirloom box that housed the secret letter Arthur had given Logan, promising that Logan could marry Sheena if he returned to Scotland after his indenturement in the Americas.
What would become of Arthur’s promise to Logan if he was no longer alive to enforce it?
Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. Logan loved Sheena and as soon as she forgave him, perhaps they could go back to the way things stood between them before he left. Maybe Logan could convince Sheena’s mother that he would take good care of her. Logan had by now amassed enough money to satisfy Tavia’s wishes for her daughter to live a good life. He just needed Sheena to love him again.
“I’m sorry, lassie. And I’m sorry you had to witness the McDougalls’ grief today. It must have brought back many of those painful memories. If I had known, I would have spared you that experience.”
Logan knew that pain. Having lost both of his parents at a young age, he was aware that nothing ever filled that void again. Try as they might, Angus and Nessia never could.
“Today did bring it all back, Logan, but I can’t hide from death. It’s a part of life and, besides, the McDougalls needed us to comfort them.”
“Your comforting words meant everything to me today, too.”
Sheena gave Logan a little smile. “I’m glad.”
Her opening up to him eased the pain in his chest, giving him some hope for their future. “I hope your father, brother and Gordon are at peace in God’s home.”
Again, Sheena wiped a tear from her cheek. “Thank you. I pray for that every day.”
Logan hated seeing her unhappy. “I’ll pray, too. Just as I pray you forgive me for coming back two years later than I planned.”
Sheena’s expression changed. “Logan …” She said his name with the sparkle he remembered seeing in her amber eyes before he’d left Scotland five years ago. In that moment, he knew he had a chance. She couldn’t hide that spark. He took hold of her shoulders and leaned in even closer to talk with her.
Tenderly, he whispered his words to her, “I wish I could have been here to comfort you through your brother’s death and your father’s illness. But I had to stay on in the Americas.”
Sheena interrupted him before he could tell her about his plans to take everyone to the Americas. “You wouldn’t have been able to change anything anyway.” Sheena tilted her head down toward the soggy ground. Her head almost touched his chest. It wouldn’t take any effort to deepen their embrace. And his muscles flexed as he fought the urge to do so.
“Maybe not, but I could have made it easier for you to live during the difficult times.” Logan reached out and gently pushed up her chin to level her eyes with his. “I’ve always been poor. I know how to make do. I could have shown you,” he said, smiling.
She opened her lips to say something, but then closed them. He felt her sweet breath against his face and fancied smelling her delicate scent. He wanted nothing more than to comfort her and be her protector.
“I could show you which weeds won’t kill you.” He made fun of himself, knowing just how many times his family did eat weeds at mealtime. But Sheena turned her head away from his hand.
“My mother is not about to admit that she’s poor, let alone live like the poor.” Sheena drew in a long breath as if she wanted to apologize for Tavia.
But her words didn’t shock Logan. They didn’t even hurt him. He knew very well what Tavia thought. Some things never changed and Tavia’s dislike of the poor would always be one of them. Indeed he knew Tavia’s hatred so well that five years ago, his only option in ever marrying Sheena included selling himself as an indentured servant.
The scariest and most humiliating thing Logan ever did, and hopefully would ever do in his life, involved letting someone buy him. But he did it. And he would do it again, because he now possessed the means to offer Sheena a decent life as his wife. He just needed her forgiveness.
“Logan, just after my father died, when we still looked like we were wealthy …” She looked up into Logan’s face, her amber eyes filled with worry. No sparks now. In their place Logan saw a look of pity. What had caused such a quick change in her demeanor? “… my mother spent the last of our money on my dowry and betrothed me.”
The news hit Logan with the force of a fist. And all too soon, rage ran through his blood. “You’re betrothed?” he shouted. “To whom?”
“Logan, your voice.” Sheena grabbed his hand and pulled him down toward the ground.
“You can’t be betrothed to someone else.” Logan took hold of her arms.
“It’s true,” Sheena whispered softly, and Logan just stared at her. He couldn’t understand what she’d just told him. Did she mean to hurt him, out of revenge or simply to break his heart for good?
Her insistence that he quiet down came too late. A light shone out from one of the rooms upstairs. Someone had woken up.
“You must go. Now. No one can find you here. Not out here at this hour.” Sheena pried his fingers from her arms, talking as if seized by anxiety. “Go, Logan. Please.” She sprang away from him, jogging toward Cait.
Logan tried to reach for her again, but didn’t catch her in time. Impulsively, he thought about chasing her and carrying her away. She couldn’t love another man. She couldn’t want this betrothal.
God, why did this happen? It couldn’t truly be Your plan to let me live through two sea voyages and five long, hard years of labor, just to lead me to the knowledge I gained tonight.
The light from many more candles began to shine through the windows on the main floor, interrupting Logan’s thoughts as he realized people from within the household were approaching. He ducked farther behind the rocks. He didn’t think he could remain still. His insides beat hard against his skin, trying to burst out. Life as he knew it had ended. And he couldn’t do anything about it.
Chapter Five
Sheena just reached Cait’s side when the door of her family’s home flew open. She grabbed Cait’s hand quickly to reassure her. But Cait’s hand shook and Sheena knew the chilly damp night air didn’t cause her trembling. Sheena felt her insides churn with guilt; she hated putting Cait in such a predicament.
She thought of pulling Cait to hide, but Tavia and Jean would send servants to look for the source of the noise. Someone would find them. And then, what if they discovered Logan, as well? That would make the situation even worse. Her family wouldn’t welcome Logan, even in daylight.
Sheena inched in front of Cait to shield her as light from too many candles shone out through the darkness. Sheena and Cait stood motionless. Waiting. Someone obviously had set off quite an alarm, because everyone who slept in the Montgomery household now stood outside on the soggy grounds in their nightclothes.
“Cait? Sheena?” Jean’s voice shattered the quiet of the night as soon as she spotted them. “What is going on out here?”
Tavia came around to her sister’s side. “Sheena, what on earth are you doing out of doors at this hour?”
Tavia didn’t even finish her words before her sister broke in. “Cait, you foolish girl. You are not to be out of the house. You may as well stay out.”
“Aunt Jean,” Sheena rushed to Cait’s defense. “Please, you cannot send Cait away. She was out here because of me.” Sheena couldn’t let Cait take the blame. Her inability to resist talking with Logan caused all this. Why couldn’t she just walk away from him? He’d hurt her too deeply and her life had shifted course.
She shook her head, putting her thoughts at bay, as her mother pointed a finger at her. “Cait’s out here because of you?” Tavia’s voice hit a high note of accusation.
“Aye, Mother.”
“Sheena, I am out of patience with you. It is not even dawn yet. I need my sleep. Instead, I am standing outside in the dampness. I could catch my death.” She tugged at the red woolen blanket that almost swallowed her tiny frame whole.
“I’m sorry, Mother,” Sheena said, only vaguely listening to her mother’s lecture. Her attention remained fixed several feet away. She prayed God would help Logan stay hidden behind those rocks. Her mother would go crazy if Logan appeared. And then what would she do to Sheena?
Tavia already thought little of Sheena. They’d never nurtured anything resembling a close mother-daughter relationship. Sheena always seemed to disappoint her mother. They thought and acted as opposites in nearly everything, and though she knew her mother wanted nothing more than for Sheena to behave just as she did, Sheena never could.
“Explain yourself, child,” Jean bellowed and Sheena panicked. What explanation could ease the situation? She couldn’t lie and yet she couldn’t tell them the truth, either. “We’re waiting.” Jean stamped her foot.
“Why are you not speaking?” Tavia raised her right hand and slapped Sheena firmly across the face. “Such insolence. Answer your aunt.” The blow knocked Sheena off balance.
Touching her flaming-hot cheek, Sheena felt tears swell at the sting and pain, but she stood bravely to face her mother and aunt. She had endured worse. A slap would not stop her from seeing to Cait’s well-being.
“I needed some fresh air.” Sheena didn’t lie. Leaving a rock to keep the door ajar for Cait didn’t quench her need for the open air. It beckoned to her, making her go outside to sit and think about Logan. Forcing her to confront her upside-down life.
“Is the air in the house not fresh enough for you, child?” Jean pressed. And Sheena had barely glanced at her aunt before her mother started again.
“Why didn’t you just open your window?”
“I’m sorry. I will do that next time.” With spring advancing she would need to, because soon enough the midges would come out in droves and make it impossible for people to sit still outside in the dark, unless they wanted to get bitten repeatedly by those annoying insects.
Sheena looked around at everyone’s faces. “I apologize for having caused such commotion and awakening you all.” Some servants looked too tired to care, obviously longing for their beds, while others seemed full of sympathy. But a few, all of whom belonged to Jean, seemed completely amused, and that callousness irked Sheena.
“Can you imagine what would happen if news of this incident reached Ian Mackenzie? I will not have him thinking you are a wild Highlander who runs about in the night. Until you are married to Ian, this foolishness of yours must stop. I will not tolerate it. Then I don’t care what you do. Ian will have to deal with you on his own. However he sees fit.” Tavia’s words stung, just as much as her slap.
“Aye, Mother.” Sheena bit her lip. “I’m sorry.” She bowed her head not wanting to look at anyone. The only person who mattered couldn’t see her face anyway. Even though he likely heard every word. And although she wished she could, she couldn’t prevent that. She knew she’d hurt Logan deeply only moments before and now her mother forced him to hear about her betrothal again.
Her insides felt as if osprey hawks dove into them. Logan’s stricken face flashed in front of her eyes and would likely remain permanently etched into her memory. He had looked utterly devastated. For him, for her, for the future they’d planned so many years ago that now lay in ruins.
As angry as she was, she never thought she would be the one to deal such a savage blow. Tears pricked at the thought.
But hurting Logan served a purpose. Maybe now he would understand she could never love him again. He needed to know she belonged to another man. She couldn’t hide that from him. He needed to forge a life for himself without her. Just as she did when he hadn’t come back two years ago.
She’d begun to believe that Logan had never intended to marry her in the first place. That he’d never planned to come back to Scotland at all. Maybe his guilt in telling her lies had caused him to flee the country.
“Let us all go back to bed and not talk of this ever again. I will not have word of this incident getting out.” Tavia eyed the staff, much of which were on loan from Jean to keep their house functioning.
“If word of this does get out—” Jean stared them down “—all of you will be dismissed. You are all replaceable.” At that, Tavia grabbed Sheena’s arm and dragged her into the house, as Cait scurried into the throng of servants.
Hastily, Sheena wiped tears off her cheeks. Tavia would never know the true cause of those tears.
Logan remained painfully still. He knew if anyone saw him, Sheena and Cait would face a much more brutal fate. Crammed against a rock, his anger raged, steaming into the cold night air.
When Tavia hit Sheena, he almost ran to her defense, but something held him back. Even if it killed him to stay hidden, he’d rather give up his own life than sacrifice her future status.
Not being able to defend Sheena filled him with hate. As a Christian, he shouldn’t feel that way toward anyone, but he couldn’t help it. Tavia slapped Sheena when Sheena did nothing to deserve such punishment. What kind of mother behaved like that? One who didn’t care whether her daughter’s husband beat her or not. And one who seemed to welcome that fate for her daughter.
Logan remembered Tavia being cold toward Sheena her entire life, but never to this extent. At least Tavia had never conducted herself in public this way before. But maybe she couldn’t in front of Sheena’s father. He wouldn’t have allowed it. But now with him gone, Tavia’s true feelings were revealed, and Logan feared them for Sheena’s sake.
Chapter Six
As the door to the Montgomerys’ house closed, Logan thrust himself from the rock to stand at his full height. Only then did he realize his hands bled. He stared at them for a moment in disbelief. He’d injured them on the jagged edges of the rock that separated him from Sheena as he leaned against it, pushing with all his strength to maintain his self-control.
The bloody cuts annoyed more than they hurt, serving as a reminder of the hate coursing through his veins. He held his hands up trying to stop the bleeding, using his sleeves to dab at the blood as he made his way home.
“Logan?” Angus’s voice whispered from the dim light of the fire when Logan came through the door.
“Aye.” Logan went over to his brother’s side by the dying flames and sat on the wooden stool next to him. He welcomed the solitary walk home, for it had given him time to calm down.
But in place of the anger came despondency. He felt like a soldier on the losing side of a battle. “I’m sorry if I woke you Angus.” He leaned forward, putting his head into his bloodstained hands and closing his eyes. He kept his head down. Did he make everyone’s life more miserable? It certainly seemed that way.
“Nay. On the contrary. I’ve been too excited to sleep.” Angus’s enthusiasm glowed brighter than the flames. “Nessia was in complete shock when I first told her of your plans, but after I explained everything you’d said, she agreed. She sees the advantage. It’s an opportunity for a better life. Did you talk to Cait about it? Is she coming? Because we can’t leave her behind.”
Despite himself, Logan’s lips twitched slightly upward at the pair of opposites they made: Angus, with his hope for the future and Logan with his belief in a future devoid of anything worthwhile.
Resting his face on his weathered hands, because he couldn’t summon the energy to lift his head, he answered, “I spoke with Cait and she will be onboard.”
Angus just about jumped off his stool. And that made Logan look up. “Angus, you must contain yourself.” Irritation tinged Logan’s voice, even though he would never begrudge his brother his happiness.
Hopelessness wrapped itself around Logan’s heart, leaving him more fatigued than any day of hard physical labor had ever left him.
“Aye. Did Cait make it home all right?” Angus’s solemnity touched Logan. He didn’t want his brother to set his own happiness aside for him. And he surely did not want anyone to pity him.
“Aye, no harm came to her. I wish I could say the same for Sheena, though.” Logan shook his head as if he could somehow shake away what happened.
“Sheena?” Angus looked at Logan without understanding. “What did she have to do with Cait tonight?”
“Sheena was looking out for her and got herself into trouble.” Logan stared off at the dark sod wall. “Actually, I got Sheena into the whole mess.” How could he forgive himself for being the cause of Sheena receiving such torment?
“You?”
“Aye. It’s a long story. One I don’t want to relive.” Logan stretched out his legs and then his arms. “Angus, why didn’t you tell me Sheena’s father and brother had died?”
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