Courting Her Secret Heart

Chapter Two

Amos sat forward on the buggy seat as the Miller farm came into view. What would people think of him not driving? He was the man, after all. He should be driving. Instinct told him to take the reins, but something held him back. He gritted his teeth, hoping no one would be out in the yard.

Deborah pulled on one rein and slackened the other to turn into the driveway.

Though several buggies, the chickens and two cats were scattered about the yard, fortunately no people were in sight.

She stopped the buggy in front of the house. “Do you mind putting this away by yourself? I want to see how my vater’s doing.”

He gladly took the offered reins. “I’d be happy to.” He breathed easier having the strips of leather in his hands. How foolish of him, but he couldn’t help feeling that way. “Tell your vater not to worry about the animals. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Danki. But I think he probably still has enough pain medication in him to not worry about much of anything right now.” She jogged up the porch steps and into the house.

He stared at the door for a moment, feeling a sense of loss. But that couldn’t be. He hadn’t lost anything. At least not anything new. With a shake of his head, he drove the buggy to the barn. After unhitching the horse, he put the animal in a stall, then parked the buggy in its space inside the barn. Being an open buggy, it needed to be protected from the elements. With the harness put away, he brushed down the horse and fed him.

His encounter with his cousin Jacob played in his head. He needed to get off his vater’s farm and experience the outside world more than he had on Rumspringa, with a different purpose this time. If he wasn’t going to have land to farm and would have to work in the Englisher world anyway, he might as well live there, too, and be a part of it.

Amos would have left the first time when Jacob suggested it if there had been some place for him to go, but today was a different matter. The image of Deborah standing on the edge of her family at the hospital tugged at his heart. She needed him. This family needed him. Bartholomew needed him. And he needed them so he wouldn’t have to be on his family’s farm until he left for gut. This would make the wait more bearable.

He heard the humming of a female enter the barn. Deborah? He peeked out of the stall he was in as someone disappeared into the stall with the milking cow, but he couldn’t tell who. He brushed down the front of his coat and trousers to remove hay particles, then stepped into the stall doorway.

Miriam glanced up at him with a smile from where she sat on a three-legged stool. “Hallo, Amos Burkholder.”

His smile sagged a bit. “Hallo.” This was gut that it wasn’t Deborah. He shouldn’t be thinking of her. “Your job to milk the cow?”

She leaned her head against the animal’s side and began the task with a swish-swish-swish. “Ja.”

“Do you and your sisters trade off with this duty?”

“Ne, I like milking. There is something soothing about it. It’s just me and Sybil.”

“I’m sorry. Would you like me to go away?”

“Ne.”

He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not at having to stay. “Tell me about your sisters.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. I figure if I’m going to be working on your farm, I should know a little about everyone.”

She nodded. “Hannah and Lydia are twins—identical. Hannah is the ultraresponsible one. Lydia is the peacemaker. They are both being courted and will likely get married this fall. Then comes me. A lot of people say I’m the positive one. I do try to see the gut in situations.”

That was not how Deborah had described her. What was it she had said? That Miriam liked a lot of boys. Likely, there wasn’t one young man in particular who had caught her attention yet.

“Then Deborah. After her comes Joanna. She’s the gut one. Not that the rest of us aren’t gut, but she was an easy baby and has always been easy to please. She’s also quite shy. Naomi’s thirteen and can be moody. She likes to be the center of attention. And lastly is carefree baby Sarah at eight. She is easily everyone’s favorite, and the sweetest of us all.”

Everyone got a description except Deborah. “What about Deborah?”

“What about her?”

“You gave everyone a little description except her.”

“Did I? Hmm. Deborah is...irres—rarely here.”

Was she about to say irresponsible? True, Deborah hadn’t been around when her vater had been hurt, but that didn’t necessarily make her irresponsible.

When Miriam finished milking, Amos hoisted the full bucket and carried it to the house.

Miriam opened the door to the kitchen and allowed him to enter first. The kitchen bustled with female activity. He was used to just his mutter in the kitchen, alone, doing all the work by herself.

Deborah looked up from her task of churning butter with the youngest girl and smiled at him.

He responded in kind.

Her gaze flickered away from him to where Miriam appeared, and Deborah’s smile faltered, then she pushed her mouth up in a less genuine smile, but one of encouragement.

He wished he could bring back that first smile. What had caused the change? More important, how could he bring back the first smile?

“Right this way, Amos.” Miriam motioned with her hand for him to follow her. “That goes in the back fridge until morning.”

Amos aimed his apologetic shrug toward Deborah as he obediently complied. When he returned, Deborah’s mutter stood in his path.

Teresa Miller put her hands on her hips and gave him an impish smile. “We do so love company, but you can’t walk through my kitchen without introducing yourself.”

“I’m Amos Burkholder.”

“Which one of my daughters are you courting?”

“Um, none. I’m here to help out on the farm while Bartholomew is healing.”

Shock and concern wiped away the older woman’s smile in an instant. “What? What’s wro—”

One of the older girls hooked her arm around her mutter’s shoulders and escorted her out of the kitchen. “Let’s go see how Vater is doing.”

Another of the older sisters stood in front of him. “Supper will be ready in a little bit. We’ll call you when it’s ready.”

This must be Lydia, the peacemaker. The one who left with their mutter must have been Hannah, the ultraresponsible one. Or it could be vice versa. He wasn’t sure. He nodded and went back outside to finish up some chores.

Soon, another one of the sisters came out to retrieve him. “Supper’s ready.” She kept her head down.

“Danki. I’ll head in with you.” He walked to her side. “I didn’t mean to upset your mutter earlier.”

Her head remained down and her voice soft. “You didn’t. She was just worried about Vater.”

It had seemed like more than worry. But then, what did he know?

This shy girl must be Joanna. It would probably be best if he didn’t stress her by trying to hold a meaningless conversation just to quiet the silence.

Inside, he washed up and waited to be told where he should sit at the table.

Bartholomew sat alone at the far end of the table, his broken leg propped up on a chair. The women still scurried to and fro.

The youngest, who looked to be more like five than eight, crashed into him and wrapped her chubby arms around his waist. “Broffer Amos.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of this little one. “Hallo, Sarah.”

She giggled.

One of the twins, he guessed Lydia, hurried over and disentangled the young one from him. “I’m sorry about that. She likes to greet people with a hug.”

“That’s all right.” He gazed down into the upturned face of Sarah. Her slanted eyes and flat nose told him all he needed to know. Down syndrome. “I’m very pleased to meet you.”

Lydia smiled at him but spoke to Sarah. “Go sit down. It’s time to eat.”

Sarah grabbed his hand. “Sit by me.”

He looked to Lydia, who gave him a nod. He sat, and quickly the others did so, as well. Bartholomew blessed the food, and everyone served themselves except Sarah. Hannah, who sat on her other side, dished up for her.

Bartholomew grimaced in pain. His medication had probably worn off. “Amos, I certainly do appreciate you coming to help out in my hour of need.”

“I’m glad to be here.”

Teresa tilted her head. “Hour? It’ll be a mite more than that.” Her anxiety from earlier had been erased.

The girl directly across from Amos crinkled her nose. “I bet you don’t even know who all of us are.”

Center of attention. “You’re Naomi.”

He went around the table and named each of the family members.

Naomi narrowed her eyes. She obviously didn’t think he could do it.

He wasn’t so sure himself but had guessed right. Miriam’s descriptions had helped. When he’d named Deborah and she smiled at him, something inside did a little flip. That was the smile he’d been looking for. He wanted to stop and stare at her but knew he shouldn’t.

He cleared his throat to regain his train of thought and shifted his attention to Bartholomew. “I could, of course, travel home each night and return in the morning, but I would be able to get more work accomplished if I stayed on here.”

Bartholomew swallowed his mouthful of food. “What did you have in mind?”

“I thought I could sleep in the barn.”

Teresa spoke up. “I won’t hear of that. The barn is no place for a person in winter.”

Bartholomew gazed gently at his frau. “What would you suggest, Mutter?”

“Joanna and Naomi can move in with Miriam and...” She waved her hand in Deborah’s direction. “And her sister.”

A sadness flickered across Deborah’s face, and Amos’s heart ached for her. He knew what it was like to be hurt by family.

Naomi leaned forward. “I don’t want to move rooms and be crowded in.”

“Hush,” Bartholomew scolded his daughter, and she huffed and folded her arms. Then he turned back to his frau. “You would have a young man who isn’t a family member under the same roof as our daughters?”

Teresa’s gaze flittered around the table, and the inappropriateness of the situation registered on her face. “Oh. I...”

Amos didn’t want to cause a fuss. “I don’t want to displace anyone. The barn will be fine. There’s an old woodstove still connected in the tack room. I can move a few things around and set up a cot.” It was preferable to home.

With supper concluded and the arrangements settled, Amos headed out to fix up his new but temporary living quarters.

He located some firewood and lit the stove. Then he made a clearing in the center of the room and set up the cot that was used when an animal was sick and someone needed to stay in the barn to keep a watchful eye out.

A gray tabby rubbed against his leg. He crouched and petted him. “What’s your name, hmm?”

The cat sauntered over to the stove, sniffed it and lay down in front of it.

“Don’t get too comfortable. You can’t stay in here at night with the door closed. You can warm yourself until I find some blankets.”

When he exited the tack room, Deborah stood outside his door with an armful of quilts. She smiled. “We thought you might need these.” She handed him the pile. “There’s a pillow, as well.”

“Danki. These’ll be better than the horse blankets I was planning to rustle up.”

“Bitte.” Her gaze lingered on him a long moment before she turned to leave.

He wanted to say something to make her stay. But what use would there be in that? Instead, he watched her walk out.

* * *

The following morning, Deborah stole glances at Amos throughout breakfast. Several times, she caught him looking back at her.

Vater hadn’t come to the table for breakfast. Fortunately, his and Mutter’s bedroom was on the main floor, so he wouldn’t have to go up and down the stairs with a broken leg and injured arm. Though Mutter had scurried around the kitchen earlier, she had gone in to sit with Vater. Since Vater’s accident, less than a day ago, Mutter had acted stranger than usual. One moment she sat calmly, and the next she scampered about like a nervous squirrel looking for lost acorns.

Amos drained the last of his coffee. “Danki for breakfast. I should get to work.”

“Would you like another cup?” For some reason, she didn’t want him to leave yet. It was nice having another man around the farm. Or was it that it was just different for all the girls? Or was it having a kind, handsome, eligible man around?

His mouth curved up into a smile that tickled her insides. “Danki. Maybe later.” He gazed at her for a moment before trudging outside.

After he left, she stared at the door for a bit longer than she should before she turned to her sisters. “What do you need me to do?”

Lydia had taken charge of the kitchen cleanup. “I think we have everything covered.”

Her sisters bustled around, busy at work. Even Naomi helped, and Sarah had her little job of sorting the silverware. The only other one not there, besides their parents, was Hannah.

Deborah headed for her parents’ room and peeked in around the door frame. “Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?”

Mutter held a plate while Vater ate with his gut arm.

Hannah gingerly tucked a pillow under Vater’s broken leg. “We’re gut. See if the others need help in the kitchen.”

Deborah gave a weak smile. She’d already done that. “Vater, I’m praying you heal quickly.”

“Danki.”

She left. With nothing to do inside, she headed outside and found Amos in the barn.

He stood below the hayloft, staring up at the underside of the floor above.

“What are you doing?”

He turned to her, and his mouth pulled up at the corners. “Trying to decide the best way to fix this.”

She liked his smile. A lot. She stood next to him and looked to where he pointed. A hole roughly the size of a laundry basket had opened up through several of the boards, and hay hung down in the opening. “What happened?”

Shifting, he stared at her. “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Your vater fell through there and landed here on the floor. Fortunately, there weren’t any tools, boxes or barrels for him to get further injured on.”

She pictured her vater falling and gasped. She hadn’t thought to ask just how he’d gotten hurt. All she knew was that he had fallen.

“The boards look pretty rotted. They should have been replaced long before now.”

“Why hadn’t he done that?”

“He was probably too busy with running the rest of the farm on his own to notice. I’ll check all the boards and build a new loft floor if need be. I figure I can do some of the regular maintenance he couldn’t get to and repair what needs repairing until I... Until it’s time to plow and plant.”

“Do you think he’s going to be in a cast that long?”

“Hard to say. Some people’s bones heal faster than others’. But even if he’s out of the cast, his leg will be weak. He’ll need time to regain his strength.”

“What can I do to help?”

He chuffed out a chuckle. “What? I’m sure there’s plenty to be done in the house.”

“Hannah and Lydia are taking care of Vater while overseeing the breakfast cleanup as well as the early prep for lunch. Everyone’s busy with their regular duties, leaving nothing for me except free time.” She didn’t even have a modeling job today. That would have been nice to get her mind off Vater being hurt.

“This isn’t woman’s work.”

“If you haven’t noticed, my vater has seven girls. We’ve all done a bit of carpentry, livestock tending and even some plowing. So let me help.”

“Danki for the offer, but I can manage.”

If she was a man, he’d accept her help. “Well, I have nothing else to do, so I’m not leaving.” She backed up to a covered feed barrel, pushed herself up and sat. “If you won’t let me help with the labor, I’ll supervise from here.” The truth was, she just wanted to be out here with him.

He stared at her hard for a long moment. “You are going to tell me how to fix this?”

“It’s either that or put me to work.” The work would go faster if he allowed her to help. Would he be too stubborn and insist on doing it alone? If so, he deserved to have a more difficult time than need be, and he deserved to have her comment on every little thing he did.

“Fine. But you have to do as I say. I don’t want you getting hurt, as well.”

She hopped off the barrel and saluted him.

He shook his head at her playful gesture. “First we need to determine how sturdy the rest of this floor is.” He handed her a shovel, and he grabbed a pitchfork for himself. “Tap the underside of the boards with the end of the handle.” He demonstrated with his implement.

Deborah poked at a board to show him that not only did she understand his elementary instructions, but that she could also follow his directions as ordered. Then she smiled.

He worked his mouth back and forth, presumably to keep from smiling himself. His effort created a cute expression.

She studied her shovel from tip to end. She didn’t like the idea of lifting the heavy metal blade up and down. The repetitive movement would give her sore muscles, for sure. After looking around, she leaned the shovel against the wall and grabbed a push broom. Putting her foot on the head, she twisted the handle several times, freeing it. This was lighter. Much better for repetitive motions. She twirled it around once and went to work tapping and poking. “Tell me about your family.”

Amos shrugged. “Like what?”

“Parents. Siblings.”

“I have two parents and four brothers.”

Not very forthcoming with information. She was going to have to work harder at learning anything about him. She would start with something easy and hope he got the hint and freely offered up more details. “What are your parents’ names?”

“Joseph and Karen.”

At least half the boards she poked at were usable for the time being, although they would need to be replaced soon. The other half of them were splintery and soft. “What about your brothers?”

“James, Boaz, Daniel and Titus.”

She felt like growling and poking him with a stick. Couldn’t he give her more information? Did he not want to talk to her? Well, she wasn’t about to work in silence. Her sisters chatted all the time while doing chores. “Where do you fit into all of them?”

“Youngest.”

Really? Nothing more than that? She did growl now, softly to herself, and jabbed her stick at the next board. It poked through, splintering the wood in half. Hay showered down on her from between the dangling halves.

Amos rushed over and pulled her out of the way as one of the jagged pieces broke free and shot straight down to where she’d been standing. She could have been seriously injured.

Caught off guard by his action, she lost her balance and grasped at his sleeve. Her body twisted, and gravity did the rest of the work, landing her in a pile of straw.

Between her yanking on his sleeve and his trying to catch her, he lost his footing as well and landed in the straw beside her with one arm stretched across to the other side of her. His eyes went wide. “Are you all right? Did you get hurt?”

He looked so adorable in his worried state that a giggle escaped her lips before she could stop it.

His mouth pulled up at the corners. “I guess that means you’re not hurt.”

She nodded and wrestled her chortling under control.

He plucked hay off her cheek and forehead. “You’re covered.”

She imagined she was but didn’t help him, liking his ministrations.

His hand stilled, and he stared down at her for a long moment.

What was he thinking?

Clearing his throat, he pushed himself up to his feet, then offered her assistance. His hand was large and strong. And warm.

As soon as she was on her feet, he released her quickly as though embarrassed, and stared up at the ceiling. “Too many of the boards are rotted beyond repair, and the ones that are serviceable won’t be for long. It would be best to replace the whole floor. I’ll take the wagon into town and order the necessary lumber.”

Now he was chatty? Or had their little moment made him uncomfortable? She missed the moment of closeness they’d just shared. Would they have another one in the future? She hoped so.