Practicing Parenthood
“Thanks,” the man said, looking tired and sporting deep dark circles under his eyes. Collin wondered when the man had last slept through the night.
“No problem,” Collin said. “Beautiful baby you have there,” he added, even though the baby’s head was covered in a burp cloth as he finished his afternoon snack.
“Yeah, good thing, too.” The tired dad shook his head. “They’re a handful.”
Soon I’ll have a baby, too. I’ll be just like this dad.
He glanced at the man whose shirt was wrinkled, his socks mismatched. Collin noticed a white stain on his shirt. Baby drool? Baby spit-up? The momentary unease left him, and he felt like his old confident self again. Collin had never met a challenge he hadn’t happily faced head-on. Not that women had ever been a problem, at least not since his freshman year of high school—after he’d had the growth spurt that launched him from five-one to five-eleven in a single year. He’d spent most of his twenties and, so far, his thirties leaping from one casual encounter to another. He hadn’t ever pursued a serious relationship, in large part because his job was so demanding. He barely had time for anything more.
But now, he’d have to make time. Somehow. He’d do it.
There was no way he’d ever be like his own father.
Collin remembered daycare, when the other kids were making gifts for their dads for Father’s Day and he’d been one of the few who hadn’t. The teacher had told him to draw a picture for his mom instead, but Collin never forgot the slow burn of embarrassment, feeling the hole in his life where his father should have been.
No. He wouldn’t do that to his son.
Because, oddly enough, he knew it would be a boy. That certainty had just come to him...
The other guests from the boat ambled over to the waiting golf carts, apparently regulars on the island. Probably homeowners here, he thought, as they seemed to know exactly what to do. He still found it weird that there were no cars on North Captiva.
The island was prettier than he’d expected. Colorful tropical flowers lined the dock and the sandy path leading to the parked golf carts. He could see tennis courts in the distance and signs that led to a large pool and bar.
Collin, at a bit of a loss, wandered into the front office. He’d looked up Madison’s uncle’s house in the public record, but he wanted to find out if he could rent a golf cart to get there.
Inside the office, he found a large amiable woman behind the counter, wearing sparkly, dangling earrings, a colorful scarf over her head and a big smile on her face. Her age was impossible to guess. Forty? Fifty? Her name tag read Yvana. He presented her with his most charming smile as he set down his backpack that held two changes of clothes and his laptop. He didn’t know how long he’d stay, but his plan was to convince Madison to come home with him.
She gave him a slow once-over in response, a sweep of judgment, and he could sense he met her approval.
“I’m Collin Baptista,” he said, leaning on her desk.
“You have a reservation, hon?” she asked him.
“Uh...no, not exactly.” This was where it might get odd. “So, I need your help... Yvana.”
The woman’s eyebrows rose, and he knew she was trying to decide whether or not he was worthy of her help. He was an excellent reader of people. Tread carefully here.
“Well, that depends on what you need.” Yvana studied him.
“I want to ask your advice. If you were going to propose to a woman, where would you do it?” Collin pulled the velvet box from his pocket and flashed the engagement ring.
Yvana fanned her face. “Oh, my, that is gorgeous! You sure you don’t want to just propose to me? That ring would look perfect on me.”
He laughed. “Don’t tempt me,” he said, and she laughed, too.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” Yvana tapped a bright fingernail on the counter.
Collin hesitated, wondering if he should be so forthcoming. But he knew he’d have to be. He needed her help.
“Oh, sugar, you can tell me. I’ve got to have the details if we’re going to make sure she doesn’t say no.”
Collin shrugged. What was the harm? He wanted Yvana’s help, and pretty soon he and Madison would be engaged, anyway, so what would it matter?
“Her name is Madison,” he said.
Yvana just stared at him for a second. “Madison Reddy?”
“You know her?” Collin couldn’t hide his surprise.
“I’ve known her for years. Since she was this big.” Yvana held up her hand about waist-high. Now she studied him even more closely, like a bug under a microscope. “You going to make her happy?”
“I plan to try,” he said honestly.
“Hmm.” Yvana nodded thoughtfully. “Does she know you’re coming?”
“Nope.”
Yvana put one hand on her hip. “So, you show up here without a reservation and a ring and think...you’re going to propose, just like that?”
The doubt on Yvana’s face made him pause.
“Uh...right. That’s right.” Collin nodded. He glanced out the window, as he saw a golf cart speed by. “Something wrong with that plan?”
Yvana shrugged one shoulder. “Oh, honey, that’s not for me to decide.” She chuckled, then picked up the phone. “Let me call her and see if she’s willing to see you.”
Willing to see me? Now Collin was definitely feeling anxious. He thought about all the times she’d refused his calls.
“How about you just tell me how to get to her house and I’ll surprise her? It’s number fifty-nine, Harbor Bend Road?” He pulled out the printout from his pocket, the result of his search for her uncle’s property.
“Oh, I know where it is.” Yvana picked up the phone and punched in the number. “Maddie, sugar?” she said.
Maddie? Collin had never heard her called that before.
“I’ve got a male visitor here for you. His name is...” She cupped the receiver with one hand. “What’s your name again, hon?”
“Collin.”
“Collin’s here. He wants me to take him to you, but I thought I’d...” She paused, listening. “Oh, I see. Mmm, hmm. Is that right? Well, now.” She studied him, frowning. What was Madison telling her? “Oh... I see.” She eyed him. “All right, then. Don’t you worry none. I can handle this.”
Was Madison refusing to see him? That didn’t compute with Collin. He’d driven all this way, paid for the ferry, lugged this one-carat perfectly cut diamond from Fort Myers—and it had never occurred to him that it might be a wasted trip.
“You take care of yourself, you hear?” Yvana said and then hung up. She focused her dark brown eyes on him.
“What was all that about?” Collin asked, but Yvana ignored him. Her body language made it clear that she had no intention of sharing any details.
“Well, how about you wait out there on that bench?” Yvana said sweetly, pointing to the bench near the line of parked golf carts bathed in North Captiva sunlight. “I’ll get Gus to drive you. He’s running a few patrons out to their houses, but he should be back in fifteen or so.”
“Maybe I could just walk?” he offered. He didn’t want to wait that long. The ring felt suddenly heavy in his pocket. It belonged on Madison’s finger.
“Oh, honey, you’d get lost.” She shook her head, then gave him a big smile. “Wait right there. Gus will come by. You sure you don’t want me to hold on to that ring for you?”
Collin chuckled. “No, I’d rather keep it, thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” The phone rang and Yvana picked it up. “Hello, North Captiva Club,” she sang. Collin let himself out, the cool breeze from the beach ruffling his hair. He looked at a line of tropical flowers. There were worse places to wait, he figured, as he headed to the bench in the shade. He slumped down and checked his watch. He’d come this far. What was another fifteen minutes?
CHAPTER THREE
COLLIN BAPTISTA WAS HERE.
Madison paced her uncle’s third-story deck in a panic. She bit her thumb as she glanced out over the treetops toward the ocean, which sparkled blue in the distance. Collin had found her. How? Did he know she was pregnant? God, she hoped not. Then again, she remembered that her uncle had spilled the beans to Yvana. Was he trying to play matchmaker with Collin, too?
No. He couldn’t do that. She hadn’t told him who the father was, after all.
Would Collin have been able to find out some other way?
She’d steadfastly refused his calls. Surely, he would’ve gotten the message that she wasn’t interested. Besides, why was he even interested? And why now? He’d been more than clear that he didn’t want a relationship. I don’t date defense attorneys. Wasn’t that what he’d said? No, he doesn’t date them. Just sleeps with them, that’s all, she thought bitterly. And then dumps them like garbage the very next day. She remembered how coldly he’d treated her. She got that it had been one night, but she had assumed he’d enjoyed it as much as she had. Obviously, that hadn’t been the case. She’d thought the sex had been...exceptional, and yet he’d treated her as if it had been the worst night of his life. Maybe it had been. That idea was painful. He hadn’t felt the connection, the spark that she had.
She ought to see him, but part of her felt scared. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep the baby a secret, and the anxiety of seeing him roiled her stomach so that her morning—now officially afternoon sickness—had returned. She told Yvana to stall him while she figured out what to do. She couldn’t flee; the next ferry wasn’t for an hour at least, and she’d have to walk right past him to get on it. She could hope he’d get tired and leave, but what she knew of Collin told her he was a tenacious fighter who wouldn’t give up easily.
What was he doing here?
Calm down, she told herself. Just calm down and think. A million different thoughts flooded her mind.
He knew. He had to know about the baby. Was he here to tell her to get an abortion?
She clenched her teeth at that possibility. She wasn’t going to do it.
What to do?
Her brain suddenly didn’t want to work. Ever since she’d stared at those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, she’d felt that her brain had gone into slow-mo mode, and she’d lost all ability to make a decision. Now, faced with Collin here, on North Captiva, she’d need to decide. If she told Yvana to get rid of him, she would. But was that what she really wanted? She wasn’t sure.
What she did know was that she still wasn’t over the sting of rejection she’d felt when he failed to call her the morning after their drunken tryst. She’d texted him—twice—and he hadn’t bothered to respond. The curt nod she’d gotten in the courthouse the next morning had told her all she needed to know—she was a one-night stand, a mistake he didn’t intend to repeat. She should’ve seen it coming. I don’t date defense attorneys, he’d warned her over drinks. It’d be a bad career move.
She ought to have walked away from him right then and there. Yet, she hadn’t. It was his green eyes, she thought, almost gray, striking with his tanned complexion, set off by his jet-black hair. He wore it longish and wavy on top, short at the sides. He was shrewd, but that wasn’t what had made her stay for a drink. It was his surprising show of empathy that day.
“Nobody said this job was easy,” he’d murmured as he sidled up to her at the bar at Pete’s, down the street from the courthouse in Fort Myers. “I know you had a rough week. Buy you a drink?”
Rough didn’t begin to cover it. Two days ago, she’d had to tell the mother of a nineteen-year-old that he was going to prison for seven years. He stole a car because someone had left it running with the keys in it. A crime of opportunity. But he’d messed up badly—because the car had had a baby in the back seat. That automatically made it a felony.
The teenager wasn’t a bad kid, just rudderless; he’d spent his life in an impoverished neighborhood. Nevertheless, his carelessness had left a mother in a panic, and worse, he’d abandoned the car with the baby still inside. Thankfully, a cop had spotted it, but if that hadn’t happened...the baby could’ve overheated, could’ve died. Poor decision-making and bad luck meant he was going away for seven years, and he’d come out harder. Maybe even more violent. There was nothing reforming about the prison system.
And then, in the afternoon, she’d had to represent a white supremacist—her! Madison was about as brown as a person could get. But Jimmy Reese was a KKK member who’d tried to shoot a black man and hit a white twelve-year-old instead. She couldn’t imagine getting a worse case. She’d lost the one case and then gotten another that she hoped very much to lose.
“You planning to cut a deal for Jimmy?” he’d asked her.
She slowly shook her head. Jimmy had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to cop a plea. “No, he wants to tell the whole court how patriotic he is for trying to kill anybody who isn’t white.”
Collin just rolled his eyes. “You gonna defend that?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head again. “It’s indefensible.”
“I say we both need a drink,” he said. “Come on, let me buy you one. A drink can make you feel better,” he promised. “Or it’ll make you feel much, much worse. Either way, you won’t be where you are right now.”
She’d had to laugh at that.
That was why she’d accepted Collin’s offer of a drink. And the second. And the third.
And that led to...a night she wouldn’t forget. Boy, the man had skills. He was gorgeous and he possessed a magical touch. It almost wasn’t fair.
Her phone rang. She picked it up.
“You still want me to stall this guy?” Yvana asked. How long had it been since she’d called the first time? Half an hour?
“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.
“Well, this Collin guy has been in here twice, asking me when his ride is coming, but you and I both know there ain’t no ride. Not unless you say so.”
“Where is he now?” Madison bit her lip. She didn’t want to see him, and yet how long could she really stall?
“Waiting on that bench, but he’s going to start walking soon, and you know how this island is for newbies... He’ll be wandering around for days trying to find your house.” Yvana clucked her tongue.
“I know, I just...” Madison hesitated. Her mind whirled like an old computer with long outdated software. She couldn’t decide. Talk to him and get it over with? Should she do that?
“He’s cute. You didn’t mention that.”
Madison felt a blush creep up her cheek. She knew he was and that women noticed him, but hearing it confirmed didn’t help.
“I mean, I can see why you knocked boots. He’s got muscles that go on...forever.”
“Yvana!” Madison cried. Yvana cackled her delight into the phone.
“Just stating the obvious,” Yvana said. “Don’t worry, sugar. He’s far too young for me. So, it’s not his looks that are keeping you away. Why not let this fine man—the father of your baby, I assume—come see you? What’s wrong with him? Aside from the fact that you could bounce quarters off those abs. Which isn’t a problem unless you want a softer man to snuggle with.”
Madison laughed. “He doesn’t know. About the baby.”
“You sure about that, honey?” Yvana sounded suddenly very skeptical.
“Thought I was. I didn’t tell him.”
“Well, he sure is anxious to see you, and I don’t think it’s got anything to do with asking you out for drinks.”
Madison considered this. She glanced out her uncle’s kitchen window. Since the house stood on stilts, even the first floor was raised. She could see the tops of some shorter palm trees swaying in the breeze outside. “I just... He wasn’t very nice to me.” Ignoring her wasn’t nice. Not nice at all. And now, he’d shown up out of the blue... He had to know about the pregnancy. There could be no other explanation. “And there’s no way he’s ready to be a parent.” She remembered how easily he’d fought to have a nineteen-year-old put behind bars. What kind of father would he make? A heartless one, probably. “He’s full of himself, so how can he even focus on a baby?”
“Hmm, well, that could be trouble,” Yvana agreed. “But maybe he’s turned over a new leaf. He’s been waiting in the sun for half an hour, so that gets him points in my book. Why don’t you let me bring him to you? I’ve got a feeling you’ll want to hear what he has to say.”
What could that be? Madison wondered.
* * *
COLLIN GOT TIRED of waiting, so he set off down the sandy path in what he hoped was the right direction. He glanced back at the office once, but Yvana wasn’t moving fast enough for his taste. Patience had never been his strong suit. He would wait for a golf cart no more. Collin pulled up the address on his phone, but the signal was weak and the map kept spinning—and at one stage, his phone told him he was walking in the ocean when he was a good twenty feet from the bay. He adjusted the heavy backpack on his shoulders, now second-guessing the idea of bringing his laptop. What “work” was he going to do? He’d said goodbye to the office before he left, and they’d had a send-off with cake and everything, and he was now happily enjoying all those vacation days he’d stockpiled but never used. Yet, he’d never been without work for so long in his whole career that he’d packed the laptop as a matter of course.
The hot North Captiva sun beat down on him. Sweat poured from his forehead and dripped into his eyes, making them sting. He wished he’d had the foresight to bring a hat. Or some sunscreen. But when was the last time he’d been on an island? On a vacation of any kind? He thought a moment. It had been before law school. Ten years without a proper vacation. He spent what little time off he took during holidays at his sister’s house with her family. His sister was expecting again, and he’d be an uncle soon—for the second time.
Collin trudged down the sandy path, singing birds flitting from tree to tree beside him. Sweat continued to sting his eyes, and he squinted at his phone. It was useless. He’d have to ask someone for directions. He came to the first fork in the road, and paused, swatting at a mosquito buzzing around his face. This was beginning to get silly. He’d have to turn around and head back to the front office, or maybe flag down someone who might know where he needed to go. He couldn’t believe an island that was just four miles long and a half-mile wide could be so confounding.
That was when he heard the whirl of a small engine behind him. He turned to see Yvana driving a beige golf cart with the green logo of the North Captiva Club on the hood.
“Well, Lord, aren’t you in a hurry?” she cried. “You want to get heat stroke out here? Get in.”
Glad to have a lift, Collin climbed into the cart, his shirt damp with sweat. “Thought you forgot about me.”
“Oh, there’s no way I could, believe me.” Yvana eyed Collin as she drove down a path that led them by a large lagoon. A big white crane stabbed at a fish in the middle of the water, coming up with a mouthful and gobbling it down. “So, you plan on getting down on one knee or...”
Yvana let the question hang there.
Collin hadn’t thought about it.
“I don’t know,” he said because he hadn’t thought much about that part.
Yvana slammed on the brakes, nearly sending him out the open front of the cart. He grasped his bag, which had almost went flying as well.
“You want her to say yes, don’t you?”
“Oh, she’s going to say yes.” He had a steady job and he’d offer security, and this way their son wouldn’t be a bastard. Not that legitimacy seemed to matter anymore, an old-fashioned concept as most people saw it these days. But still. It was the principle of the thing.
“You think so?” Yvana eyed him with doubt.
“I know so.”
Yvana threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, she’s right. You are a little full of yourself, aren’t you?”
“What did she say about—” Collin didn’t get to finish the sentence because Yvana took the next turn at a speed she probably shouldn’t have, and he nearly fell out of his seat. Once he’d righted himself, he heard Yvana laughing.
“This is going to be fun. Yes, it is.”
* * *
MADISON WATCHED YVANA drop Collin off at the rounded sandy drive in front of her uncle’s beach house, and she sucked in a breath. She was used to seeing him in his dark tailor-made suits, and the casual polo and cargo shorts he wore caught her off-guard. The bay air ruffled his dark hair. He seemed less severe, less...imposing. She approved. So, this is what Collin Baptista looks like when he’s not putting people away. Approachable, affable....handsome.
Madison felt unnerved. His strong shoulders and muscular chest were as impressive in a polo as they were in an expensive wool suit. She had a flash then of his bare skin, of the feel of his strong pecs beneath her fingers. He was a surprisingly fit attorney, one who somehow found time to hit the gym. Collin was one of those people, she thought, who woke at five a.m. just to life weights. An overachiever.
Still, she felt an odd mix of delight and dread as she watched him walk up the stairs to the front patio door. Yvana steered the golf cart back out to the road, throwing her hand up in a wave as she left.
There was no more time to stall. Madison heard the doorbell and headed for the entryway. What was she going to say to him?
She padded down the staircase inside the house, her bare feet slapping the smooth dark wood as she made her way to the patio, anxiously fiddling with her hair. Why do I even give a damn? she asked herself as she went to the glass door. Collin was already knocking, peering in.
She’d forgotten how tall and broad he was. So broad. The normal-sized backpack slung over one shoulder looked...undersized.
She swung open the door.
“Is it mine?” he blurted immediately.
So he did know. Still, the it rubbed her the wrong way. The baby wasn’t an it. The baby was...a boy or a girl, but first and foremost, a baby, a human being, not an it.
“How did you find out?” she asked as he moved past her into the cool air-conditioning. She hadn’t exactly invited him in, but he didn’t seem to care about that little detail. She closed the door behind him, shutting out the swarm of gnats on the patio.
“Heard a rumor. Is it true? You’re pregnant?”
She felt the intensity of his gaze. She wanted to lie but knew it was futile. He’d sniff out a falsehood in a heartbeat.
“Who told you?”
“Matt. From your firm. He said people are talking about you taking a sudden leave, and the rumors are either that you’re pregnant or you have cancer. Which one is it?”
Madison bit her lower lip. She hadn’t told anyone but Uncle Rashad about the pregnancy, and she was sure he’d never tell anyone at work. Yvana was an exception, but then she’d been a close family friend for decades, and the spilling of that secret really was about her protection. Uncle Rashad wouldn’t gossip about something like that at the office.
“Is it true?” Collin asked again. He wasn’t going to let this go.
“No one was supposed to know,” she murmured.
“So, it is true.”
Here’s where he argues about the benefits of getting rid of the baby, she thought. Here’s where he subtly, but firmly, tells me the best thing is to terminate the pregnancy. She remembered Collin’s ruthless precision in the courtroom, his cold heart when it came to pleas and to empathy. He allowed for zero errors—whether it was a teenage kid making a stupid mistake or a mother who’d left her child in the care of someone who wasn’t fit to look after anyone else.
“So? It’s mine, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she sighed. She braced herself for the lecture.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, his expression eager and even...excited? That took her by surprise. She hadn’t expected him to want the baby. He’d been all hands and mouth that one night they’d spent together, but then the next day it was as if she hadn’t existed. Now, he liked the idea of her carrying his baby? Maybe she’d been wrong about him. Maybe he wasn’t just the hard-nosed prosecutor, the man without a heart.
He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. He put down his backpack on the terra-cotta stone tiles of the foyer and then turned to her.