Irritation swelled inside him. Three years he’d been sheriff. He had respect. He had the admiration of the townspeople. Now, he was just grist for the mill.
“You want support? Go back to the TCC and talk to Chance. Or Alex.” Jake toasted him with his beer. “From family, you get the truth, whether you want it or not.”
“I don’t.” Nathan leaned against one of the posts as visions of Amanda roared into his brain again. He shouldn’t have gone to her. But how could he not have? They’d had to talk. But then, there hadn’t only been talking, had there?
“I know you don’t want to hear it but you’re going to anyway.” Jake paused, ran one hand over the heavy chain from which one of the swings hung. “So here it is. You missed your chance with Amanda back in the day.”
Nathan snorted. “I didn’t miss a thing. Trust me.”
Shaking his head, Jake said, “You know what I mean. You let her get away.”
“I didn’t let her do a damn thing, Jake,” Nathan said tightly as he pushed away from the heavy wooden post. “Her decision to walk.”
Jake was unaffected by the anger in Nathan’s voice. “Right. And you didn’t try to talk her out of it.”
“Why the hell should I have?” Stalking off a few paces, Nathan’s boots slid in the sand he and his brother had laid beneath the swing set. This was his place. The home he’d grown up in. The town where he’d carved out a spot for himself. Damned if he’d let the past jump up and ruin what he’d built.
At the far end of the play equipment, Nathan turned to look at his brother. Jake looked relaxed…amused, damn him.
Well, why wouldn’t he be? Jake had everything he’d ever wanted. He ran the ranch. He was married to his high school sweetheart and they had three great kids plus another on the way. Everything was riding smooth in Jake’s world—not that Nathan begrudged his brother’s happiness. But at the same time, you’d think Jake could manage a little sympathy.
“I’m not going to beg a woman to stay with me.”
“Who said anything about begging?” Jake shot back. “You could have asked.”
“No,” Nathan said, shaking his head and looking away from his brother’s too-sharp eyes to stare out over the moonlit lawn. “I couldn’t. There were…reasons.”
Reasons he’d never talked about. Never even mentioned to Jake, and Nathan was closer to his brother than to anyone else on the planet. Those reasons tried to push into his mind now and Nathan resolutely pushed them out again. He’d dealt with them all years ago. He wouldn’t go back, damn it.
“You listened to the gossip. You believed the rumors instead of talking to Amanda about them.”
His head snapped up and his gaze locked on his brother like a twin pair of dark brown lasers. “What do you know about the rumors?”
Jake took a sip of his beer. “Chance told me what was going on—” He held up one hand to keep his brother quiet. “And don’t blame him for it. You sure as hell didn’t bother to tell me. You’re my brother, Nate. You could have said something.”
He shook his head and squelched the burst of anger struggling to come alive inside him. “I didn’t want to talk about it then—” He paused and added for emphasis, “I still don’t.”
He didn’t like remembering those days. Remembering how he’d felt when Chance told him what people were saying. Nathan had been in the police academy in Houston, unable to get to Amanda. Hell, he hadn’t even had time for a damn phone call. And when he had finally been able to go to her…
Shaking his head, Nathan mentally closed the door on the past. It was done and he wouldn’t be revisiting it anytime soon.
“You always were the hardhead in the family,” Jake said on a sigh.
Nathan managed a short laugh at that. “Seems to me your Terri might argue with you there.”
“Probably,” Jake admitted with a wince. “Nate, I don’t know what happened between you two seven years ago—” he held up a hand again “—and I’m not asking. I’m just saying, she’s home to stay now and you’re going to have to find a way to get past whatever happened so long ago. You’re going to have to deal with her. Maybe the two of you should actually try talking about what happened to break you guys up.”
Nathan grimaced, took a pull at his beer and let the icy froth cool down the temper that was still simmering inside him. “Where is all this talking, share-your-feelings stuff coming from? Is Terri making you watch Dr. Phil again?”
“No.” Jake looked embarrassed. “But I’m not an idiot any more than you are and I know you know you have to make your peace with Amanda.”
Another sip of ice-cold beer slid down Nathan’s throat as he thought about what his brother said. And then a fresh memory of Amanda, molding her body to his. The heat of her kiss. The scent of her filled his mind. The feel of her beneath his hands again. His body stirred and he winced at the ache that he had a feeling was going to become all too familiar.
“Jake,” Nathan said softly, “you don’t get it. I learned a long time ago, where Amanda’s concerned, there is no peace.”
Four
One thing Amanda had always loved about living in Royal was the big farmers’ market held every weekend in the park.
Ranchers and farmers from all over the county showed up to sell fresh vegetables, fruit and preserves. There were always craft booths as well, with local artisans selling everything from jewelry to ceramics and handmade toys.
At barely 9:00 a.m., the sun was already a hot ball of misery glowering down on the town. By afternoon, the only people not huddled in an air-conditioned room would be the kids. But for right now, the park was buzzing with activity. The busiest vendors in the park were those who had claimed a spot beneath the shade of a live oak.
Amanda had the day off and she was determined to enjoy it. But, as she wandered through the market, it was clear that the Royal rumor mill was in high gear.
She felt the speculative glances thrown her way as she passed and she lifted her chin defiantly in response. No point in hiding, she told herself. Instead, she would just ignore the fact that whispered conversations would stop when she got close and pick up again as she moved off. Clearly, someone had seen Nathan at her place the other night and it hadn’t taken long for tongues to start wagging.
Amanda stopped at a booth displaying hand-thrown pottery and idly picked up a kiln-fired, sky-blue pitcher.
The artist, a young woman with waist-length blond hair and bright green eyes, smiled at her. “I’m running a special today on the cornflower-blue pottery.”
And if she’d picked up one of the earthenware jugs, Amanda thought, that would have been the special of the day. But she couldn’t blame the woman for doing her best to make a sale. Besides, she was going to be looking for a house in town soon and she’d need to furnish it, wouldn’t she? Smiling, she said, “It’s lovely work. How much?”
“Only thirty-five.”
“Sold,” Amanda told her and set the pitcher down to reach for her wallet. She probably could have haggled, but it was beautiful and she really did want it.
Purchase made, Amanda left a satisfied artist behind her, tucked her new pitcher into the cloth shopping bag slung over her shoulder and wandered off toward the next booth.
“Amanda, hi!” Piper Kindred waved her over with a wide grin. Piper’s curly red hair was drawn back into a ponytail and her green eyes were shining. “Haven’t had a chance to talk to you since you moved back home.”
“I know. Things have been so busy, but we have got to get together soon.” Amanda had known Piper most of her life and seeing her friend now made Amanda realize again how much she’d missed being a part of Royal.
“I hear you and Nathan are getting cozy again …”
“Of course you did,” Amanda said. A few days ago, Nathan had shown up at her apartment and kissed her senseless. Ever since then, she’d had dozens of customers who spent most of their time at the diner watching her. Including Nathan, she reminded herself. He made time to come in at least once a day. He’d order coffee, sit at the counter and watch her as she moved around the room.
Nerve-racking on all fronts.
“Anything you care to share?” Piper teased.
“Not a thing,” Amanda assured her old friend, then abruptly changed the subject. “So,” she asked, stepping back to read the sign strung across the front of the booth Piper was manning, “what’re you selling?”
“Raffle tickets,” Piper told her and used her thumb to fan a stack of them. “We’re raising money to help pay for the new child-care center at the TCC.”
Grinning, Amanda said, “I heard the motion passed. Beau Hacket must have been purple with fury.”
“By all reports,” Piper assured her. Then she sighed. “I only wish I’d seen it myself. You remember Shannon Morrison? She tells me she came within a breath of hogtieing the old coot just for the hell of it.”
Beau was possibly the last living true chauvinist in the world. He liked women fine, as long as they stayed in their “place.” Amanda had never been able to figure out why a woman as nice as his wife, Barbara, had married the man in the first place. “Sorry I missed it.”
“More and more women are becoming members of the TCC now that Abby Price paved the way.” Piper paused. “I’m not a member or anything, but I wanted to help with this raffle. How many tickets are you going to buy?”
Shaking her head, Amanda reached for her wallet and laughed. “Give me five.”
“Atta girl.” Piper peeled off the tickets and waited while Amanda wrote her name and phone number on the stubs. When she was finished, Piper dropped the stubs into a steel box and said, “The draw’s in a week. Who knows? You might win the grand prize.”
“What is it?”
“A weekend getaway in Dallas.” Piper shrugged. “Personally, I’d rather win the free dinner at Claire’s.”
“Hey,” Amanda countered, in a mocking insulted tone, “how about you come eat at the diner instead? We’ve got lemon meringue pie tomorrow.”
“Now you’re talking,” Piper said. “I’ll come in around lunch. Maybe we can sit and talk over pie. You can give me the real story behind the gossip.”
“You’ll be disappointed. There is no story.” Except for that kiss, Amanda thought. She waved a goodbye, then moved on. She was still smiling when she caught the scent of fresh-brewed coffee along with a delectable aroma of cinnamon coming from nearby. Marge Fontenot had probably brought in her homemade cinnamon rolls to sell in the coffee booth her husband ran. Amanda’s stomach growled in anticipation as she headed for the vendor cart with the long line snaking in front of it.
“Doing some shopping?”
She stopped and looked at Alex Santiago as he approached her.
“I am.” As the sun shone down on her, she was grateful she’d tucked her hair into a ponytail that morning. But Alex looked cool and comfortable in khaki slacks and a short-sleeved white shirt. “Living in the city, I really missed farmers’ market days.”
His gaze swept across the crowded park. “I admit, I enjoy them as well. Last week I bought a new pair of boots.…”
She glanced down and nodded in approval at the hand-tooled brown leather boots he wore. “Very nice.”
“Thank you. And just now, I’ve purchased what I am told is the—” he paused to reach into a paper bag and draw out a jar long enough to read the label “—world’s best huckleberry jam.” He shrugged and gave her a smile that could probably melt ice at a hundred yards.
Amanda just chuckled. “If you bought that jam from Kaye Cannarozzi, I guarantee it is the world’s best. She’s won prizes for her jam every year at the state fair.”
“Good to know,” he said and folded up the bag again. “You can find just about anything here, I’ve discovered.”
Amanda watched him as he looked around the park. He was dark and gorgeous and his accent made every word sound like seduction. Alex was also nice, funny and, except for his dubious taste in friends—Nathan for example—he was pretty much perfect. Too bad for Amanda that the only bell he rung for her was one of friendship.
“Hmm,” Alex mused. “I’m curious as to what put a frown on your face just then. Dark thoughts?”
She forced a smile and shook her head. “Not at all. Um, I’m headed for the coffee wagon over there.” She pointed and asked, “Would you like to join me?”
“I could use some coffee as well, so, yes.” He fell into step beside her. “I’m looking forward to the Fourth of July celebration. I hear it’s quite the event.”
“Oh, it’s great,” Amanda told him. “Most of the town gathers right here for an all-day party. There are contests and games and the fireworks show is always amazing. If I do say so myself, we put on a terrific Fourth.”
Funny how good it felt to say we.
“Sounds as though you’ve missed it.”
“I really did,” she admitted, glancing around the park at the people wandering from booth to booth. Kids raced away from their parents, laughing as they headed to the playground. Dogs on leashes strained against their owners’ restraining hands and a hot summer wind kicked up out of nowhere.
Royal was home. There was no other place like it and she’d never really been happy anywhere else. “You know, I told myself while I was gone that I was fine. That life in the city was better, somehow. But now that I’m back, it’s like I never left.”
“Going home isn’t always possible,” he mused. “I’m glad you’re finding it easier than you’d thought.”
Amanda looked up at him and saw that while his stare was fixed on the distance, a slight frown was etched into his features. She didn’t know Alex well, but she sensed something was bothering him. Before she could offer to help, though, he spoke again.
“I’m pleased to see that the gossip hasn’t upset you.”
She sighed. The downside to small-town life. She’d already had several people stop her in the park that morning, asking questions, giving her sly winks and knowing smiles. Nathan and she were the talk of the town and until something really juicy came up, that wasn’t going to change.
“You’ve heard it, too?”
He gave her a rueful grin. “I think you would have to be on the moon to miss it.”
“Know anyone who could give me a ride?”
“Sadly, no.” He shrugged and added, “Though a beautiful woman shouldn’t let loose talk from small minds worry her.”
Amanda stopped, cocked her head and looked up at him. “You really are perfect, aren’t you?”
His mouth quirked. “I like to think so, though I’m sure others would disagree.”
“Not from where I’m standing.”
“For that, I thank you. Besides, gossip isn’t a static thing, Amanda,” he said. “Very soon, they’ll find something else to talk about.”
“I suppose,” she said, looking at the crowds in the park. Most of the people she’d known her whole life. Oh, there were plenty of outsiders who had come into town solely for market day. But the great majority were familiar to her. Which was probably why everyone felt free enough to talk about her.
She knew they were watching her now, too. Wondering why she was walking with Alex when it was clear she and Nathan were starting up again. A tiny twist of pain wrapped itself around her heart. “As much as I love Royal, it’s not always an easy place to live.”
“No place is easy,” Alex said, his expression becoming thoughtful again, as if there were things chewing at him.
Somehow, she’d struck a nerve, Amanda thought. From what she knew, Alex Santiago hadn’t been in town very long and she wondered if anyone really knew him well. Reaching out, she threaded her arm companionably through his. “Everything okay, Alex?”
Immediately, his handsome face brightened as he flashed her a smile. “You’ve a kind heart Amanda, but there’s no need for concern. I’m fine.”
“Am I interrupting?”
Amanda looked up when Nathan’s deep voice demanded her attention. He was only a few feet away, headed right for her. The sunlight winked off the sheriff’s badge pinned to his broad chest. He wore his favorite scuffed boots and a uniform shirt tucked into black jeans. The gun at his hip made him look even more formidable than usual. His gaze was fixed on hers, but still he managed to fire a brief glare at Alex.
A flash of heat shot through Amanda at Nathan’s nearness and made the heat of the summer sun seem no hotter than a match-head in comparison. She wanted to fan herself, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good, so she settled for sarcastic indifference instead.
“If I said ‘yes you are,’” Amanda quipped, “would you go away?”
His eyes flashed. “Not until I know what you guys are talking about.”
Alex grinned at his friend. “About small towns and smaller minds.”
Nathan frowned and nodded. “You mean the gossip.”
“Among other things,” Amanda said, drawing Nathan’s eyes back to her. She knew him so well she could see the tension in his face. The gossip was irritating to her. To Nathan, it had to be infuriating. “What do you want, Nathan?”
“Coffee, one of Margie’s cinnamon rolls and to talk to you. Not necessarily in that order.”
So, there wasn’t even going to be a pretense of friendliness between them. He was acting as if the kiss they’d shared hadn’t happened. As if putting it out of his mind made the whole scene disappear.
“I’m busy,” she said. “Alex and I are shopping.”
She should have known that men would stick together. Alex immediately said, “Actually, there are a few things I have to take care of. I’ve enjoyed myself, Amanda.” Shifting his gaze to his friend, he nodded and said, “I’ll see you later, Nathan.”
“You don’t have to go,” Amanda told him quickly. Without Alex there, she and Nathan wouldn’t have a buffer. And she suddenly wanted one really badly.
“Yeah, you do,” Nathan said at the same time.
Alex only laughed. “You two are very entertaining. I’ll be on my way.”
Around them, conversations rose and fell. A sultry wind teased the hem of her shorts and in the distance, children played and laughed. Amanda knew that she and Nathan were now the center of attention, but she didn’t care anymore. Alex had been right about one thing. Sooner or later, everyone would find a new topic of interest. Until then, her best choice was simply to ignore them all. People would talk and she couldn’t stop them. So instead, she continued on toward Margie’s coffee cart and wasn’t surprised to have Nathan right at her side.
“Mona Greer saw me at your place when I was there a few nights ago,” he told her, his voice low and deep.
“Well, that explains a few things,” Amanda said wryly.
“That woman should have been a spy.”
“Maybe she was. Now she’s retired,” Amanda mused, “and she’s looking for new things to occupy her.”
He snorted a short laugh. “That’d be something. Mona in the CIA.”
Amanda laughed, too, then Nathan looked down at her and she caught the confusion in his eyes.
“This doesn’t bother you? Being talked about?” Nathan asked.
“A little,” she admitted. “Okay, a lot. But I can’t stop it, so why make myself nuts?”
“Healthy attitude.”
“I try,” she said, and fell into line at the coffee cart.
Nathan stayed beside her and, keeping his voice low, he said, “I still think we need to set some ground rules, Amanda.”
“Like you coming around the diner to keep an eye on me?”
He frowned.
“Or are you talking about when you kissed me?”
She had the satisfaction of seeing a flash of temper spark in his eyes. Then he spoke as if she hadn’t said a thing. “We agree that there’s nothing between us anymore and—”
Amanda didn’t have to speak. She only looked up at him, making no attempt at all to hide the smile curving her mouth. Nothing between them? Hadn’t they proven just the other night that if nothing else, there was still plenty of heat between them?
He scowled, clearly understanding what she wasn’t saying. Then he muttered, “That doesn’t count.”
“Felt like it counted to me.” In fact, that one kiss had kept her awake most of the night feeling restless, edgy. Memories had crowded in on her until all she could think about was Nathan and how things used to be between them. That kiss had stirred up everything for her, making the last few days really uncomfortable. And now Nathan wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened?
Nathan looked down at her and watched her meadow-green eyes narrow. She was mad. He liked that. Better than amused. Or accepting. Anger was safer. For both of them. Except for the fact that she looked so damn good when she was pissed off at him. Gave her a fire he’d never found in any other woman.
Her light brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail at the back of her head. She wore gold hoops in her ears that dangled long enough to skim her smooth shoulders, displayed nicely in a navy blue tank top. Her white shorts showed off her tan and made her legs look as if they were a mile long, and the sandals let him see she still wore the gold toe ring he’d given her on her left foot.
A breeze sent her ponytail dancing and it was all Nathan could do to keep from reaching up and twining that silky mass around his fingers. Damn it, she was in him again. As fiercely as she had been years ago. For days now, he’d been tormented by thoughts of her. By memories so thick they’d nearly choked him. He’d hardly slept for dreams of her and when he woke, it was to a body that was hard and aching for want of her.
His talk with Jake hadn’t helped any. He’d meant it when he said there was no peace with Amanda. But back in the day he hadn’t been looking for peace, had he? All he’d been able to think about was her. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her scent. Her taste. The feel of her hands on his body and the sweet brush of her breath when she kissed him.
Hell, no, that wasn’t peaceful.
It was…consuming.
And it was happening again. Only this time, he’d come up with a plan to combat it. It had hit him in the shower just that morning—another damn cold one—that what he needed to do was get Amanda back in his bed.
Over the years, Nathan had convinced himself that he’d idealized what he and Amanda had shared. That was why he hadn’t been able to find another woman to compare to her. His own mind had set him up for failure by making the memories of Amanda so amazing that what woman could hold a candle to her?
What was needed here was a little reality. And sex was the key. Get her in his bed, and get her out of his mind once and for all.
It was the only road to sanity.
Once he’d had her again, he could let her go. This tension between them would finally be over.
As his plan settled into his mind, he smiled to himself.
“What?” Amanda asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re smiling,” she pointed out.
“And that’s bad?” He laughed a little and moved forward as the line continued to snake ahead.
“Not bad,” Amanda said, still watching him warily. “Just…suspicious.”
Behind them in line, someone chuckled.
Nathan frowned. Damned hard to work on seducing a woman when you had half the town watching your every move. “So when I’m angry, you’re mad and when I’m not, you’re worried.”
She thought about it for a second, then nodded. “That’s about right.”
For just a moment, Nathan enjoyed the confusion in her eyes and found himself laughing briefly. “There really is no one else like you, is there?”
“Probably not,” she admitted and moved a bit closer to the head of the line.
She could always drive him out of his mind, Nathan thought, letting his gaze move over her in appreciation. He’d always liked tall women—they were right in easy kissing range. Amanda, though, was like no one else. Or at least that’s how he remembered it. Even in high school, when she was a freshman and he a senior, he’d been drawn to her. His friends had given him grief over it, of course—but he hadn’t been able to stay away.
And then, years later, those same friends had told him about the rumors that had eventually torn him and Amanda apart.