Special Deliveries: A Baby With Her Best Friend
To her left, the wide front windows of the diner shone with light and she knew that everyone in there, too, would have a perfect view of her leaving with Nathan.
As if he knew just what she was thinking, he squeezed her hand briefly and gave her a conspiratorial wink. Her heart clenched—it was almost as if the two of them were a team again. To underline that sensation, his hand around hers felt warm and strong and…right. She nearly stumbled when that thought zipped through her mind.
Thankfully, she recovered quickly, since an older woman with a crown of gray braids wrapped around her head stopped them on the sidewalk.
“Well, now, what might you two be up to on such a nice summer evening?” Hannah Poole was easily seventy-five. Her eyes—shining with glee—were razor-sharp and her nose was practically twitching with interest. If there was a gossip train in Royal, then Miss Hannah was the engineer. There wasn’t a thing that went on in town that she didn’t know about.
“Hello, Miss Hannah,” Amanda said, tugging at Nathan’s hand to stop him. “It’s nice to see you.”
“I’m sure it is, honey,” she said as her gaze locked briefly on their joined hands. “Going somewhere, are you?”
“Yes, ma’am, we sure are,” Nathan answered, then surprised Amanda by letting go of her hand only long enough to snake one arm around her waist, steering her toward the car. “And if we don’t hurry we’ll be late.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you,” the woman said thoughtfully, eyes gleaming. “I’ve got to get on home, myself. You two young people have fun, now. Good to see the two of you back together again.”
“Oh, we’re not—” Amanda began.
“Thank you, Miss Hannah,” Nathan said over her. “You have a good evening.”
He got Amanda settled, stalked around to the driver’s side and climbed in.
“Of course she had to get home,” Amanda said, watching as Hannah Poole scurried down the sidewalk. Her feet, clad in sensible brown shoes, moved faster than Amanda had ever known them to go.
“What she meant was, she had to get on the phone and tell everyone who wasn’t in town tonight that she saw the two of us together.”
“Yep.”
She turned her head to stare at him. “Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Yep.” He fired up the engine, checked traffic, then pulled out onto Main Street.
“That’s it? Just ‘yep’?” Amanda’s gaze locked on him. In the old days, Nathan would have been rigidly furious to be the center of attention. This Nathan was a stranger. Mysterious. Intriguing. “Who are you and what have you done with Nathan?”
His lips quirked briefly. “What am I supposed to do? Shoot Miss Hannah? Throw her into a jail cell to keep her off the phone?” He shook his head and turned left. “Nope. No way to stop her or anyone else from talking.”
“Did you have a temper transplant?”
Unexpectedly, he glanced at her and grinned. “No, but not a bad idea.”
She was charmed. How could she not be? Not only was this Nathan—the man she’d been in love with since she was fourteen years old—but tonight he was…different. More relaxed. More…approachable.
Which could be risky, her mind warned. Logically, she should pay attention to that warning. Unfortunately, her body was too busy celebrating Nathan’s nearness to worry about possible future problems. And that was a whole different problem. She was supposed to be weaning herself from the allure of Nathan and now he’d made it that much more difficult.
Amanda settled back in the car seat, kept her gaze locked on the street in front of them and tried to stifle the sensations already building inside her.
It wasn’t easy.
“So where are we going?”
“You still like surprises?” he asked.
“Yes …”
“Then sit back. Won’t take but a minute to get there.”
That narrowed down the choices. Even if he was taking her to Claire’s restaurant, it was clear on the other side of town. But he wasn’t headed in that direction, anyway. They’d only driven a mile or so, when Nathan pulled into a familiar parking lot.
“The TCC?” she asked.
“Problem with that?”
“No.” She looked at the building that had been a part of town life since long before she was born. Built in the 1900s, it was a huge, rambling, one-story building constructed of dark stone and wood with a tall, slate roof.
She’d been inside a couple of times before—not as a guest, but as a server when her father had catered meetings. She knew the ceilings were high, the furniture and floors were dark and old-world style and the ambiance was loaded with testosterone. Sure, they were allowing female members now, but not many and not without a battle that had made the Alamo look like a playground tussle.
“I’ve just never—” She caught herself and shrugged. “I’m just…surprised, I guess.”
“Why?” Nathan shut off the engine and looked at her. “The dining room’s been open to women for years.”
“True, but you never took me there before.”
“Yeah,” he said, “there’s a lot of things I didn’t do that maybe I should have.”
She didn’t even know what to say to that. Did he have the same kind of regrets she had for the way things had ended between them? Nathan was a master at hiding what he was feeling so unless he came right out and said so, she might never know for sure.
“Maybe that’s true of both of us.” She offered a truce and was pleased to see his smile in response.
“Could be you’re right. But for now, let’s just say I’m a changed man.” He got out of the car and as he walked around the hood to come to her side, Amanda found herself hoping he hadn’t changed too much.
Over dinner, she realized that she had forgotten just how charming Nathan could be. His gaze fixed on hers, he led their conversation to happier times. To the years before they’d split up in such a crash of emotions.
All around them, the clink of silver against china and the tinkle of crystal became no more than quiet background noise. The people, the servers, seemed to fade away. She had even stopped noticing the hunting trophies on the walls. With Nathan’s full attention on her, it was impossible to be aware of anything else.
The dark paneled walls, the soft lighting and the flickering candles on the tables all made for a romantic setting that Amanda wasn’t sure how to interpret. She hadn’t expected romance, yet it seemed Nathan was determined to give it to her. Why?
And why couldn’t she just enjoy it while it lasted?
They talked about old times, without touching on the painful parts. They talked about what each of them had been doing over the last seven years and slowly, began to work into…what? A friendship? No. That was too pale a word for the connection that hummed between them, whether they were acknowledging it or not.
Of course, because they were in a small town where they knew everyone, their dinner wasn’t completely private. Several people paused at their table to say hello and Amanda watched as Nathan became what he was: the sheriff. A man respected and trusted by everyone in town, he answered questions patiently and promised a couple of people to look into their problems. He carried power easily and she realized that the last several years had made a difference. He wasn’t the young, arrogant man she’d known back then. Oh, he was still cocky, that came across just fine, but there was an underlying thread of patience that the old Nathan had lacked.
It wasn’t just him that had changed. The years had left their mark on both of them. They weren’t the same people they had been seven years before. And maybe, if faced with the same situation today, they’d each react differently.
Not that it would change anything now, but she couldn’t help wondering how things might have been if only they had trusted each other more. Talked to each other, rather than reacting to the pain of the moment.
When they finished their meal, Amanda took a moment to glance around at the elegant dining room, filled with TCC members and their guests. No doubt every one of them would be spreading the word about this dinner she and Nathan had shared—but at the moment, she just didn’t care.
Seated across the linen-draped table from him drinking a cup of coffee, Amanda said, “Thank you. For…bringing me here. I had a great time.”
“Good.” He glanced at their bill, tucked money inside, then set the black leather folder at the edge of the table. Lifting his own coffee cup, he toasted her and said, “So did I, but the night’s not over yet.”
“Really? What could possibly top that fabulous dinner?”
“Dessert.”
She had to laugh. “Nathan, we both passed on dessert, remember?”
“You won’t pass on the one I’ve got in mind,” he assured her.
Amanda looked into his eyes and in the dancing candlelight, she read desire in those depths. Tingles of something expectant, something amazing, went off like sparklers in the pit of her belly and even lower.
A deep, throbbing ache pounded out inside her to the rhythm of her own heartbeat and the longer she held his gaze, the faster that rhythm became. Here was the danger, she told herself sternly. And if she had a single ounce of common sense, she’d ask him to take her home. Now. But she knew she wasn’t going to do that. It had been seven long years since she and Nathan had been alone together. Seven years since she’d felt this sizzle of bone-deep attraction. Years since she’d been able to look into those chocolate-brown eyes and see the need she saw now.
No. No matter what happened next, she wouldn’t be leaving him. Not yet.
“Well, now I’m intrigued,” she managed to say.
“Then let’s get going.” He stood up and held one hand out to her.
She only hesitated a moment before laying her hand in his and allowing him to draw her to her feet. Their gazes met and in the quiet elegance of the room, it felt as if explosions were going off all around them but only they could feel them. If interested gazes followed them as they left, Amanda was oblivious to them.
Nathan led her out of the club, into the warm, moist air of a Texas summer’s evening. Wherever they were headed next, she knew there was nowhere else she’d rather be.
Six
As they drove through town and took a turn in the direction of the Battlelands, Amanda looked at Nathan’s profile. There was a slight smile on his face, but that told her nothing other than that he was pleased with himself. Hmm.
“Are we going to the ranch house?”
He glanced at her and smiled. “You’ll see.”
Why was he being so secretive? What was he up to?
She could play along, so she said, “It’d be nice to see Jake and Terri again. Been a long time since I’ve seen their kids.”
“Uh-huh. You will eventually.”
So, probably not going there right now. Okay, fine. She could be patient. To a point.
“How’re you and Pam getting along these days?”
The question caught her off guard and made her a little uncomfortable at the same time.
“About the same,” she said. “She’s glad I’m there in the diner, but I think she’d rather if I could phone in the work from somewhere else.”
He frowned. “She’s got some issues with you.”
“There’s a news flash,” she murmured. She had a couple of issues with Pam, too, now that she knew her sister had dated Nathan. Probably shouldn’t matter since she and Nathan were so done when it had happened. But it did matter, darn it. She didn’t like her big sister making a move on her ex. And one of these days, she and Pam were going to have to talk about that. But for now, she changed the subject. “Speaking of families, how’re Jake and Terri doing?”
Now he gave her a real smile. “They’re great. I know you’ve kept up with what’s going on here in Royal, so I’m guessing you know they have twin boys and a little girl?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling wistfully. “Last time I came home to visit my dad before he—well, I made sure you were nowhere around and I met Terri and the kids in town.”
Nodding, he said only, “The twins are in kindergarten now and Emily’s talking all the time.”
A small ache settled in her chest, thinking about Nathan’s nephews and niece. Children always did that to her, though—made her remember that she’d been cheated out of her child. Amanda had been playing what-if for more than seven years—wondering how her life might be different if only she hadn’t lost Nathan’s child. They’d have married, of course—Nathan wouldn’t have had it any other way. But would they be happy? Or would he have always felt trapped by circumstances? Would she always wonder if he really loved her or had married her solely out of duty? Questions she would never have the answers to.
She tried to shake them off. “Emily’s almost two now, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, and a beauty. Has Jake wrapped around her tiny fingers, too.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Hard to believe sometimes that Jake’s a father, but he’s damn good at it.”
So would you have been, she couldn’t help thinking. And maybe his thoughts were mirroring hers because his features slid into more somber lines.
A few miles of silence filled the big black car before Nathan took a turn she recognized.
“So we’re not going to the ranch house at all.”
“Nope.”
“We’re going to the river.”
“That’s the plan.”
Nerves jittered and Amanda told herself not to build anything out of this. After all, Nathan had grown up on this land. He and Jake had spent most of their childhoods at the river, fishing, swimming, avoiding chores. For him, this place was just a part of his life. There was no reason to believe that Nathan felt the same…affection for this spot that she did. For Amanda, this river was magical. This one slice of his family’s ranch would always be special to her.
Cutting right through the heart of the Battlelands, the fast-moving river was shaded on either bank by ancient live oaks. It was cool and green and lush. As they approached, she couldn’t help remembering—and didn’t try too hard to stop—that she and Nathan had been in this private place when they made love for the first time so long ago.
Her heartbeat quickened as the memories inside her mind played out like a movie. She could see them both so easily. Young, eager, and for her at least, so much in love she was drowning in the overflow of emotions. Nerves had been thick, but desire was more prominent. It was as if in this one place, time had stopped. The world had dropped away and she became a part of the one man she had always wanted.
Was he remembering? Did he think about that night and all the nights that had followed? Did he have the same regrets she did? Or had he really moved on from their shared past—and if he had, why were they here together now?
The sun was so low now, that only the barest hint of color remained in the sky. Amanda turned her head to the side, looking away from Nathan. What was she supposed to think about this? What was he expecting? Was he deliberately trying to recreate that night? Did he really think that after all these years, all it would take is this one romantic setting and time would roll back?
Oh, God. What if he was right?
The Texas landscape stretched out for miles beneath a faintly rose-colored sky. Grasses waved in a sultry wind on either side of the lonely road and Amanda drew an uneasy breath. Years without Nathan and now, in a single day, he was wiping away the emptiness and drawing her back into a net designed to reawaken emotions she’d thought long buried. How could he take her from fury to desire so easily? And how could she defend her heart against him when all she really wanted was what they’d once had?
“Look familiar?” he asked, voice deep enough to rumble along her spine like tentative fingertips.
“Really does,” she said, steeling herself before she turned to look at his profile in the growing darkness. She couldn’t read on his face what he was thinking. As always, he had tucked his emotions away, offering the world no peek at what he was feeling. “Why are we here, Nathan?”
He glanced at her, then shifted his gaze back to the road. “We need to talk and I couldn’t think of a more private place.”
Oh, it was private all right, Amanda thought as another slow swirl of anticipation spread through her. This could be dangerous, she warned herself, but at the same time, she wasn’t that young, desperately-in-love girl anymore. She’d grown and changed and lived through a heartbreak she had thought at the time would kill her. She was strong enough now to withstand the churning emotions inside. Strong enough to hold her own against a man who was an overwhelming presence in her life.
At least, she hoped she was.
Otherwise, history would repeat itself tonight—and she honestly couldn’t have said which she was hoping for.
He pulled the car off the road and steered it toward a stand of oaks. She took a breath and let it out slowly, determined to keep what she was feeling to herself. Shouldn’t be hard since her feelings right now were so jumbled even she was confused.
He parked the truck beside the trees, then gave her a look she couldn’t interpret. “Everything should be ready. Let’s go.”
She had no idea what he was talking about but there was only one way to answer her questions. Besides, Amanda wasn’t about to let him know that being here made her feel as if she were off balance on a high wire. She opened the door and stepped out into the warm embrace of the summer air. Tipping her head back, she glanced up at the sky. The first stars were just blinking in and out of existence as clouds scudded past. The wind was soft, like a warm caress, as she walked around the front of the car to join Nathan. “What’re you up to?”
He smiled. “Come with me and see.”
He held out one hand toward her and Amanda hesitated only a moment before laying her palm against his. She was in this far, she told herself, no point in trying to back out now. Besides, she was curious.
Why had he brought her here? What was ready? And who was this man, anyway? Less than a week ago, he’d told her flat out that he wanted her to leave town. Tonight, he was being Prince Charming. Tall, dark, gorgeous and using his smile like a well-honed weapon.
She was completely unsteady and she thought that was exactly the way he wanted her.
Nathan gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then led her through the trees to the river. The whisper of leaves sounded overly loud, like hushed conversations you couldn’t quite make out, and the muted roar of the river grew louder as they walked closer. Wind plucked at her hair, her heels wobbled on the sunbaked ground. Nathan lifted branches out of their way as they passed and she felt herself slipping further and further into the past as memories became as thick as the shadows.
They stepped free of the trees and Amanda stopped dead, pulling her hand free of Nathan’s to stare at what lay in front of her. A blue-and-white quilt was spread out on the grass. A hurricane lamp was lit, the flame flickering in the soft breeze. A cooler sat at one side of the blanket and two place settings of china and crystal were laid out, just waiting for them.
It had been different in the past, she thought, mind racing as the years rolled back and suddenly she was a shy, nervous high school senior again. Nathan was home from college and he’d brought her here, to “their spot.” He had talked about school, what he was doing, who he was meeting, and all she could do was look at him, storing up image after image in her mind so that when he left again, she wouldn’t feel so alone.
They’d had a picnic, right here. Nathan had positioned his car so that the headlights shone down on them and the car radio had provided music. They’d talked and laughed and made plans for a misty future neither of them could fully imagine.
And then they’d made love, right here, beneath the stars, for the first time. Everything had changed for them that night. She could still remember his face, as he rose over her, as she took him inside her. The surge of love, of need, filled her now as it had then and had her turning to look at the man beside her.
“What are you doing, Nathan?”
“Remembering,” he said, his gaze fixed on the scene laid out in front of them. Then he turned those eyes on her. “Since you’ve been back I’ve been doing a lot of that.”
“Me, too.”
“And you remember what happened here?”
“Not likely to forget,” she said with a lightness she didn’t feel.
“Good,” he said and took her hand again, drawing her toward the scene so meticulously laid out.
It really didn’t matter, but she heard herself ask, “Who did all of this?”
“Louisa,” he told her just before he eased down to the quilt and drew her down beside him. “She probably had Henry drive her out here and help, but she packed the cooler and set everything up.”
Louisa Diaz, the housekeeper at Battlelands. She’d been running that ranch house for twenty years. Of course Nathan would go to her for help. “Wasn’t she curious about why you wanted this set up?”
“If she was, she’d never admit it,” he said, opening the cooler to draw out a bottle of chilled white wine. He poured two glasses and handed her one. “We’ve got strawberries and whipped cream and some of Louisa’s famous pecan cookies, too.”
She stared at the golden liquid in her glass. She was still off-kilter. He’d gone to so much trouble, setting all of this up, it made her wonder what was behind it all. Just memories? Or was there something more? “It seems you’ve thought of everything.”
“I think so.”
“The question remains,” she said. “Why?”
He sighed heavily, impatiently. And suddenly he seemed more like the Nathan she’d been dealing with since returning to Royal rather than the younger man she’d given her heart to.
“Does there have to be a reason? Can’t we just enjoy it?”
Enjoy it. Reliving a memory that was so cherished it still haunted her dreams? Remember a time when she’d had the world at her fingertips—only to lose it a year later? Pain floated just beneath the surface and Amanda had to fight it back. If she knew what he wanted, expected, maybe this would be easier. But because she couldn’t read him, she was left to stumble around in the dark. She took a sip of wine, letting the dry, icy flavor ease the tightness in her throat.
Silence blossomed between them and seemed to grow unchecked for what felt like an eternity before Nathan spoke, shattering the stillness.
“There’s no great plan here, Amanda.” His voice was deep, and each word seemed to rumble along her spine. “I just wanted to bring you to a place where we could talk.”
“And you chose here.”
A flicker of a smile touched his mouth then faded almost instantly. “You’re not the only one who remembers, you know. This was a good spot for us, once.”
“Yes,” she agreed, her own voice sounding strained and rough. “It was. But Nathan—”
He shook his head. “But nothing. We’re here. We’ll talk. Have dessert. Relax, Amanda.”
Relax?
This from the most tightly wound man she’d ever known?
She looked into his brown eyes and tried to see beyond what he was showing her. But he’d clearly gotten more adept over the years at hiding what he was thinking, feeling, and Amanda was left to take him at his word. Dangerous? Maybe.
But she couldn’t ask him to take her home now. She’d look as though she were afraid to be here alone with him and she wouldn’t give him that much power. Besides, she could consider this a test of her own resolve. If she and Nathan were going to live here in Royal together, then she had to get past the desire that swept through her every time he was near. She could hardly live her life in a constant state of expectation.
“Okay,” she said at last, taking another sip of her wine. “We’ll talk.”
He gave her a quick, disarming grin that jolted her heartbeat into a thundering gallop and she knew that for her, at least, there wouldn’t be any relaxing happening tonight.