If Only You Knew

Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he moved his hand. “So, do we have a deal?”

“Fine, I’ll let you buy me dinner.”

Latonya smiled and Carlton could have sworn her eyes danced just for him. He had no idea the woman’s smile could make his heartbeat skip. Not wanting to lose the closeness he was starting to feel, he let his hand rest on her shoulder and held her close.

The rest of the ride passed in silence. Carlton enjoyed the drive from downtown Miami to the restaurant near his home in Coconut Grove. The lush green foliage and the blue waters calmed him as he looked out of the window. Once they were in view of Biscayne Bay he could almost feel himself relaxing a bit. Gazing at the blue water that surrounded the freeway offered a cathartic release of tension.

Although not as beautiful as his island home in the Bahamas, Miami held a beauty special to him as well. Ever since he was a child he’d split his time between the Bahamas and the almost tropical Florida city. A Bahamian native by birth, he considered Miami home while in the States.

Coconut Grove, the place of Miami’s earliest black settlers, was also the spot his Bahamian-born great-great-grandfather decided to make his home. In the years since the first Harrington resided in Coconut Grove, the Harringtons maintained their Bahamian citizenship and heritage, keeping homes in both places. Carlton’s home on Millionaire’s Row had been in the family for several generations and he lived there by himself part of the year with a small number of servants.

When the limo pulled up in front of the small restaurant, he almost let out a sigh of relief. Out of the close confines of the limo, at least he didn’t have to worry about trying to maul the poor woman anymore. He did have some sense of decorum about public behavior. Yet one look at her sweetly rounded bottom and long legs as she stepped out of the vehicle before him made Carlton realize that he’d better request the corner table in the back just in case he forgot all his home training.

Latonya looked around the small and sophisticated restaurant and tried to catch her breath. The white linen tablecloths gave the place a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous aura, and one look at the menu prices confirmed her observation.

She tried to wrap her mind around all that had happened between herself and Carlton. She’d felt an attraction to him from the first moment she’d seen him and that scared her. She’d never experienced such overwhelming desire before. Her grandmother, a strict, church-going woman, had a mantra that she preached to her granddaughters daily: books before boys. For the most part, Latonya had listened. She’d never wanted to disappoint her grandmother so she’d stayed clear of boys in high school and college. She often thought about what it would be like to have sex. She found herself thinking about it a whole lot more whenever Carlton was around. Those thoughts were not safe or good.

She looked up from the menu to find him gazing at her, and the heat traveled from the pit of her stomach to the tips of her toes.

Latonya was so caught up in Carlton’s gaze that she barely heard the waiter as he spouted off the list of specials in a sultry Spanish accent.

“Do you like mojitos, Tonya? I think a cocktail is in order after all our hard work today.” Carlton smiled and then ordered a pitcher full of the wonderful Cuban drink.

She took a deep breath. If a little rum, mint, sugar and lime didn’t help her get over her nervousness, nothing would. She gladly took the glass the waiter poured for her when he returned with the pitcher.

Carlton proceeded to order their meal in flawless Spanish and she bit back the urge to tell him that she had been deciding her own meals since she was twelve years old. Before her mother died she took care of preparing meals for her younger sister and herself, and after that, because of the long hours her grandmother put in cleaning the homes of others, she had to prepare meals for the entire family. The last thing she needed was some guy thinking he could just decide what she wanted or needed.

He turned to her and smiled in spite of the daggers she was shooting at him with her eyes. “I know you can order your own food. But I come here a lot and I know what’s good and what’s truly superb.”

Carlton proceeded to tell her what he’d ordered. Everything from the croquetas as an appetizer to the flan for dessert.

“The meal you’ve picked out sounds scrumptious. I can’t wait. I’m famished.” She smiled in spite of herself. It became increasingly harder to maintain an attitude with Carlton when he looked at her with that sexy glint in his eyes. She cleared her throat instead of reprimanding him and finished off her mojito.

He reached for the pitcher and refilled her glass as soon as she put it down.

“So, tell me about yourself.”

Carlton appeared sincere, but she didn’t know how much of her life she wanted to share with him. She squinted her eyes as she tried to decide. “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know, tell me everything, anything.” He seemed genuinely interested.

“Well, let’s see. I grew up in Overtown. My grandmother practically raised me. She had a stroke about a year ago and she needs constant care until she is fully rehabilitated. She’s coming along well, though.” Looking up, she found him staring at her intently.

“Is that why you took a job with the Miami office of Harrington Enterprise? So you can be with her while she’s recovering?”

“Sort of. My grandmother took my little sister and me in when my mom died. She helped me out when I was in school, and it was understood that I would help her to send my little sister to college.” Smiling with relief when the waiter brought their food, she figured they could start eating and she could end her this-is-my-life show. She never liked talking about herself. Talking about her nondescript little life to a rich business mogul like Carlton Harrington III had to be among the most nerve-racking experiences she’d ever had.

Carlton gave her an encouraging smile. It seemed like he wanted to hear more. “That must have been rough. I lost both of my parents when I was fifteen…They died together in a plane crash. Was your dad still around?”

“That’s awful. I’m sorry to hear that.” Latonya hadn’t known that growing up parentless was something they shared. “My father left way before my mother died. And it wasn’t so rough. We had Gran and she worked extra hard to take care of us and make sure that we didn’t want for anything. When she had the stroke, I had just finished my MBA program and I realized that I had to be there for her. So, I stayed home and took over the mortgage and my sister’s tuition.”

“That’s commendable of you. Most people would have just put their grandmother in a nursing home and let their sibling fend for him or herself.”

Latonya just toyed with her food without looking up or responding. She never would have considered any of the options he mentioned, but she often felt overwhelmed by her responsibilities. Even if she did feel as if she were carrying a lot on her shoulders, she certainly wasn’t going to admit it to him.

Carlton must have sensed that he’d made her uncomfortable because he suddenly switched the subject. “So tell me how you like working for Harrington Enterprise?”

Her fork fell on the plate with a clang. She glanced up from her meal. Twisting her lips to the side, she gave him her sassiest look. “Well, up until about five months ago, I really liked it.”

Smiling the seductive smile that made his eyes sparkle and her stomach flutter, Carlton chuckled before responding. “Okay, I guess I set myself up for that. I know I’ve haven’t been a dream to work for.”

She tilted her head and smirked. “Gee, ya think?”

“Okay, okay, enough. Let’s eat.”

“Yes, let’s.” She tossed him a saucy grin before digging into her food.

The flavors of the powerfully seasoned dish popped all over her tongue and she couldn’t help but compliment the sexy chauvinist on his choices. The garlic and onions melded in her mouth and she momentarily worried about her breath and kissing him later on. As soon as she thought it, she chastised herself.

The last thing you need to be worried about is kissing him again, girl. You need to be concerned with getting away from him this evening with your virginity still intact. Then again, he is fine.… She tried to stop the grin that spread across her face to no avail.

“I knew you’d like it.” He flashed the smile that she was sure she’d never get tired of seeing.

“And how did you know that?”

“I just had a feeling. Right now I’m feeling like I know some other things you would like.”

Lifting her eyebrows, she gave him a quick glance. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really.”

“And what exactly would that be?”

Smirking, he replied, “Oh, I think if you gave it half a chance you’d find that you really like me. A lot.”

She laughed at that. “Oh, really? Not suffering from a lack of confidence, are you? Some might even say you’re bordering on arrogant.”

He laughed, too, as he refreshed her glass with mojito. “I’d say confidence, not arrogance. But I think it would take more than a little convincing for you to agree with that.”

Latonya nodded. “Smart man.”

“Yes, and as a smart man, I have to say that I am enjoying spending time with you. I’m glad we got away from the office and I really don’t want this evening to end.”

Picking up her glass, she took a huge swallow. Her throat suddenly became dry while another part of her felt strangely wet.

“Are we back to the ‘spend the night with me’ conversation?” She voiced the words with an airy lightness that surprised her, given the bolt of nervous energy racing through her body. While she didn’t hold any fantasies about the rich playboy falling in love with her, she did find herself wanting, no, needing to examine her attraction to him.

Why not finally try a night of passion with a man who makes my stomach quiver with just a kiss?

Studying him carefully, taking in the hot pulsating masculinity he exuded, she impulsively decided to bargain with the devil.

“If we do this, then I want a transfer out of your department, Harrington.”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin as he gazed at her intently. She felt goose bumps trail from the base of her neck to the small of her back.

He smiled when she shivered. “We can talk about a transfer, later.” Carlton threw his napkin on the table as if challenging her.

Suddenly feeling as if he had taken over control of the negotiations, she cleared her throat. “Will we do this tonight?”

She managed to maintain a businesslike voice although the strength of her attraction gave her considerable pause.

His eyes narrowed, but not in the angry and irritated way they normally did. This time, they zeroed in on her with a desire that made her heart skip. “I honestly don’t think I could wait another night.”

Latonya fought the urge to fan herself and she swallowed before answering. “Should I meet you somewhere?” She figured—like a typical man—he’d want to go to some cheesy hotel to do the deed.

“No, my driver can take us to my place once we’ve finished dinner. I live close by.”

His place? He’s taking me to his home? Oh. My. It felt as if a huge cotton ball had lodged itself in her throat, and she could barely force out words. She thought about the huge, extravagant homes they’d passed on the drive from downtown. They were right on the cusp of downtown and Coconut Grove. From what she could see of the bayfront houses they passed, which were all blocked by tall fences and impenetrable foliage, Carlton didn’t live in a small home. Between the Italian Renaissance villas, Mediterranean-inspired mansions, and art-deco-styled superhomes, she suddenly felt out of her element. She just hoped that he didn’t say he lived on Brickell Avenue, better known as Millionaire’s Row. “Your place? You live in this neighborhood?”

“Yes. I live on Brickell Avenue. Now, let’s share this flan and get out of here. I can’t wait to taste you.” He leaned forward with a spoon in hand and took a mouthful of the dessert all the while keeping his eyes firmly focused on her.

Oh, Peanut, Latonya thought, using her childhood nickname to silently chastise herself, you are way out of your league, girl.

Chapter 4

The limousine pulled up to the tall and foreboding wrought-iron gate of Carlton’s home. Watching Latonya as she took in the size of the estate, he noticed her give a nervous shudder. Admittedly, it was a lot of house for one man, but he always lived in it when he was in the States. The family estate in the Bahamas was actually much bigger.

Clearly making some sort of mental retreat, Latonya wrapped her arms around herself and held tightly.

When the driver, Paul, opened the door and held out his hand to help her out of the car, she hesitated. Finally, her shaky hand grabbed on to Paul’s and she took two uneven steps forward.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Carlton led her into the house.

Jillian, the head maid, who had been with the Harringtons since Carlton’s parents were alive, came out to greet them. Her pecan-complexioned smooth skin left people in awe when they found out she was well into her sixties. Only her stylishly coiffed hair with startling streaks of silver gave a small hint of her age. Having her around gave Carlton a sense of stability in his life. Even though the petite woman had an opinionated and somewhat bossy nature, she, like his grandfather, had always been there for him.

“Good evening. You’re home early today. And you brought a beautiful young woman home!” Jillian glanced from Carlton to Latonya and smiled brightly.

Carlton noticed a strange expression cross Jillian’s face and he cringed as she reached out her hand to Latonya. He could already see the wheels turning in Jillian’s head. The woman had a know-it-all aura about her that usually didn’t bother him, because he usually didn’t have a reason to mind.

“Hello, my name is Jillian. I all but raised this young man. What’s your name? And will you be staying for dinner?”

Noting the gleam in Jillian’s eye, Carlton realized that he’d never taken a woman to his home before. He took women out. Wined them. Dined them. But none had the privilege of seeing the space he once shared with his parents. The way Jillian stood there grinning, he hoped she wasn’t getting any crazy ideas. After all, they just happened to be in the neighborhood, he told himself. His bringing Latonya Stevens to his home was no big deal. Right?

Latonya hesitated for a second before answering Jillian, and he feared that she was uncomfortable. He knew for sure that he was.

He jumped in to ease her nervousness and his own. “Jillian, this is Latonya, and we won’t be needing dinner this evening.”

Both women looked stunned for a moment. Carlton placed his hand firmly on Latonya’s back, leading her past the well-meaning but meddlesome Jillian.

Latonya stopped and glared at him. She narrowed her eyes and snapped, “Excuse you!” Then she turned, smiled and spoke to Jillian. “Is he always this rude?”

Jillian laughed. “Not always. He has his moments, though.”

“That’s what I figured. One minute he’s behaving like a pleasant human being and the next he’s a complete caveman.” Latonya turned and shot him an angry look. “It’s not attractive, at all.”

Carlton felt himself shrinking under the intense glares the two women shot at him. He didn’t like the feeling. “Well, we just had dinner,” was all he could think of as a response.

“Right. But that was no reason for us to brush past Jillian as if we’re running a marathon.” Latonya folded her arms across her chest.

Jillian busted out in a fit of laughter, and the melody of her laugh along with the sharpness of Latonya’s tone, left Carlton feeling sufficiently chastised. He definitely didn’t like that.

“Anyway, Jillian—as I would have said before we were so rudely interrupted—my name is Latonya Stevens. And we just had dinner at a wonderful Cuban restaurant, so I’m stuffed. But thanks for offering. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jillian now held on to her stomach as she laughed. “I’m going to leave you young folk to your business. You’re going to be all right, girl. I hope to see you again.”

When they reached his suite, Latonya took a step back, put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “How dare you? Now that nice woman, who could be my grandmother, thinks I’m some kind of whore or call girl here to provide services!”

As he stood in front of a beautiful woman whom he wanted beyond expression, the last thing he felt like doing was having some pointless conversation about what Jillian did or didn’t think.

“She doesn’t think that,” he assured her. “And for the record, I don’t care what she thinks, right now. It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter to you.”

Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her. Resisting the passion she felt, she placed her palms on his chest and tried to push him away. He grabbed her arms and put them behind her back, walking her backward toward the bed, all the while caressing her lips with his.

With a shuddering pant, she broke away. “You really can’t see that you were way out of line, can you?”

A rush of feelings blazed through Carlton and none of them were familiar. He wondered how this woman could make him feel things he never felt before. And then he was able to name at least one of the foreign feelings, fear. He realized that he was close to ruining any chance he had at really getting to know Latonya and figuring out why she had such an impact on him.

Running his hand across his head, he mumbled, “Okay. I admit it. I was rude a few minutes ago.”

She folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head.

“For the record, I didn’t mean to treat you like a call girl. I just didn’t want Jillian to get started. She can be a bit much at times. And I could see the wheels turning in her head.” He took a step forward and touched her cheek. “Let’s sit down and talk.”

He led her over to the sitting area of his suite and took a seat on the burgundy Queen Anne sofa.

“Your bedroom is bigger than our house,” she mumbled wryly. She turned and looked at him. “This is all just a little overwhelming. One minute I’m at work dealing with my ogre of a boss who hates me. The next minute we’re kissing and the ogre seems to be a sweet prince who likes me. And then I’m dealing with a horny toad who’s rude and revving to jump my bones.”

Carlton flinched. “Ogre? Horny toad? Ouch!” He started laughing, and he couldn’t believe he was laughing when she’d pretty much insulted him. He didn’t usually take insults well. Any other woman would have been shown the door. Latonya Stevens is unlike any other woman. He let the thought settle in his mind for a moment as he continued to laugh.

“It’s not funny,” Latonya said as she struggled to hold back her own laughter. “I’m being serious.”

“I know you are. And I know it’s not funny. Okay, so, what can I do to improve your image of me?”

“Tell me who you are. Really. Ogre, toad or prince?” Kicking off her shoes, she turned, got comfortable on the sofa and waited for his answer.

He pondered the question thoughtfully. “None of the above. I’m just a man who is extremely attracted to a woman who makes him feel things he’s never felt before. A man who is so out of his realm of reality that he is messing up every chance he gets but hopes that you will have patience with him and allow him a few screwups until he can get it right.”

Smiling hesitantly, she said softly, “You know, I feel the same way. It’s weird because I’m usually less affected. You know, if you’ve heard one guy’s pickup line, you’ve heard them all. I’ve never found myself in this kind of situation before. There is definitely something different about the way you make me feel. You’ve been under my skin from the first moment I met you. I think I want you out.”

“I was thinking the same thing. But now, I’m not so sure.” As he stared at the woman in front of him, all of his plans for exorcising Latonya Stevens from his mind went away.

“You’re not sure,” she mumbled in a hiss of breath as she gazed into his eyes.

Confusion was another one of those feelings that he wasn’t typically familiar with. “I’m not sure or I can’t be sure until…” He bent his head down and captured her lips. The meeting felt destined and it was all the assurance he needed. I should have stayed far away from Latonya. She was everything he’d spent his life running from, and having her in his arms, he realized that he would probably never want to let her go.

She responded hungrily to his kiss and he felt his heart swell. Every nerve ending in his body stood at attention, and he felt more alive than he’d ever felt. He wanted the feeling to continue and knew the woman in his arms was the answer.

He lifted his head and took a deep breath. “I’m sure that I don’t want to get away from what I’m feeling for you. I’ve been pretty much trying to get away for the past five months and we see how that turned out.”

Latonya laughed and it sounded like music. “You can say that again.” She stopped laughing and he felt immediately deprived. Her eyes squinted and her eyebrows came together in serious contemplation. “I feel so out of my element just giving in a little to my feelings for you. And that’s without even taking in the fact that we come from two very different worlds.”

“If you are feeling half of what I’m feeling, then where we come from won’t matter.” He had never felt more certain of anything in his life. The woman sitting in front of him could have been from outer space. All he knew was that once he stopped trying to fight his feelings, they took over. He decided he would let them and he wanted her to do the same.

He cupped her cheek in his hand. Since he already felt out of his realm, he figured he might as well go all the way. “Let’s just agree to trust our hearts and our feelings. Trust that they will lead us where we need to be.” He knew it was a big step for him. But he had a feeling taking the step with Latonya was his destiny.

“I don’t know if I can. Things don’t usually work out when people let their hearts guide them. My mother died of a broken heart.” She fiddled with her thumbs and became suddenly interested in her hands. She nibbled on her lower lip for a moment before continuing. “We didn’t have a lot, but for the most part she was happy with her husband and kids. When my father left her…left us, she lost all that happiness. She worked hard to take care of my sister and me. But she stopped taking care of herself. And when she died, the man she loved with all her heart didn’t even come back for her funeral.”

Carlton felt a sharp pain in his heart, and he thought about his own parents. They, too, had been unlucky in love. He opened his mouth to respond to what she’d shared. He wanted to tell her that they could learn from their parents’ mistakes and make it work. He wanted to share his own demons, but he didn’t think he was ready.

A nervous laugh escaped her lips and she mumbled, “Wow, I don’t think I have ever shared that with anyone before. There must be something special about you. Because I keep telling you all my business!”

Smiling, Carlton pressed his lips against her forehead. “Maybe your heart knows it can trust me even though you’re still trying to figure me out.”

She slanted her eyes slightly as she considered what he’d said before saying, “Maybe.”

He kissed her again, slowly probing her delectable mouth and savoring her sweetness. He let his hands trail her body as he slowly stood, taking her with him.

“Wait.” She halted the kiss and ran her hand nervously across her face. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I need to be up-front about something. I’m not exactly experienced. I’ve never actually done—”

Watching her lips move, he suddenly got an inkling of what she might be trying to say. “You’ve never been with a man before?”