If Only You Knew

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I understand if you want to change your mind. I—”

Amazed, he cut her off, looking deep into her eyes so there was no misunderstanding between them. “I still want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world,” he said honestly. “I’m just glad you let me know that this is your first time. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

He bent his head to take in her mouth again and caressed her succulent body. Every curve on her seemed to be made just for his touch. He’d never felt such a surge of pleasure just from touching a woman, a virgin at that. He had her where he’d wanted her from the moment he first laid eyes on her.

Slowly removing her clothing, he led her to the bed. She started to place her arms over her body in an attempt to cover up. However, he moved her arms, admiring her beauty before he bent his head to take her nipple in his mouth. As he suckled, his hands roamed her generous backside.

Every part of him came to attention as he moved his lips down her body, finally stopping between her thighs. The salty, sweet taste of her almost made him lose it. He thought that he would gladly continue to please her this way forever because she was just that addictive. Her essence tasted better than he ever could have imagined. When he felt her shake with her first orgasm, he lapped every bit.

Stopping only after he heard her moans followed by soft sighs, he moved to take of his clothes and get a condom.

Pulling her in his arms again, he kissed her as he guided his muscular body between her thighs. Assuring she had no doubts about what was to take place, he spread her legs and penetrated. Feeling her soft heat envelop him, he shuddered and reminded himself that he had to go slow. When he broke her shield, he hesitated again to make sure she was okay.

He noticed her eyes were tightly shut and her top row of teeth bit down hard on her bottom lip. He swore, thinking that she would draw blood if she bit down just a fraction harder. “Baby, did I hurt you?”

She opened her eyes and shook her head.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.” Her husky voice came out in a whisper that he was positive would send him over the edge.

He covered her mouth with his as he completely filled her.

Latonya refused to cry out even though she felt as if she were being spilt in two. The pain of their initial joining was sharper than she’d expected. She marveled at how she could go from feeling such intense orgasmic pleasure to the pain of the penetration.

Just as she thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, suddenly she felt the unmistakable pleasure of his sure, slow, soulful strokes. He cupped her behind in his hands, moving her in tune with him.

His lips connected with hers again, and she found herself releasing cries she tried to hold in. He kissed her gently, probing her mouth so that the movements of his tongue matched the movement of his hips.

As he moved his kisses to her neck and then her breasts, she began to move her own hips, tentatively at first, but as he picked up a more vigorous pace so did she.

She let her hands roam his strong back and his solid chest. His muscles felt like slippery steel under her hands as she glided across the sweat-soaked skin. She felt his body shiver at her touch, and his muscles flexed and rippled under her hands.

She’d taken a quick peek at him before he joined her in bed and she couldn’t decide which was better, looking at him or touching him. Carlton’s muscular body was perfect from the top of his head to his feet, which were big and strong. His naked body was like one of those statues of Greek gods dipped in sweet dark chocolate with just a hint of milk. Letting her hand trail his back, she decided that she liked touching more than looking. A lot more.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good. So good, I feel like I could never get enough of you. There is no way I can only have you once,” he said, his voice interrupted by grunts and moans.

The accuracy of his statement caused her to close her eyes. She wondered what she was going to do.

Her lids flew open as she felt a tightening in her belly that soon exploded in a release so magnificent it shot from the middle of her thighs to the tips of her toes. Her body writhed and she swore her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

“Oh. My,” she heard herself murmur in a voice that was at least two octaves lower than her normal husky voice.

He moved faster and deeper, nibbling on her neck. Soon she felt another explosion more intense than the first two. This time Carlton followed her orgasm with a release of his own.

They remained still wrapped in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity before he rose from the bed to remove their protection.

While he was in the bathroom an unexpected sense of horror and shame came over Latonya. She never guessed she would feel this way so soon after she had been made love to for the first time. She assumed that it was because she really hadn’t been made love to. What they’d shared was probably no more than a romp in the sack for him. But she knew it was so much more for her.

Not wanting to outstay her welcome—or worse, be asked to leave—she slowly got up from the bed and reached for her clothes. She ached between her legs in ways she never thought possible, but she managed to stand. Latonya wondered if the nice maid would be able to call her a cab.

“What are you doing?” The sharp sound of Carlton’s voice caused her to jump.

She pulled her shirt over her head. “I’m going home.”

“No, you’re not. The deal was you spend the night with me.”

“What? The deal was we’d have sex. We did. Now I’m going home.” No way could she stay the night with him. She didn’t think she could take more of his kisses and caresses tonight, and she knew she’d never receive them again.

“Stay the night, Tonya. Please,” he almost begged.

“Look, Mr. Harrington—”

“I think we’re beyond formalities, Tonya,” he countered knowingly.

“Okay, Carlton. I can’t stay the night here. I have to go home.”

“Why can’t you stay?”

She couldn’t believe that he was badgering her about staying the night. He got what he wanted. So did she. Why couldn’t Carlton just let her go? She tried to think of a good reason, anything besides the I-really-liked-making-love-to-you-and-now-I’m-running-scared-before-you-kick-me-to-the-curb excuse running through her head.

“My grandmother, she’s recovering from a stroke, remember? I usually spend the weekends at home with her, but I asked Sue, her home-health aide, to stay with her today, because I had to work.” She gave him a pointed glare before continuing.

“I have to pay her time and a half under the table when she does favors like this, and I can’t afford to have her spend the night with my grandmother.” Grabbing her panties, she started to put them on and winced in pain as she tried to lift her sore leg.

He walked over to capture her hand in his, stilling her movement. “Call her and tell her that you will pay her triple. I’ll pay for it. You’re not leaving here tonight.”

She let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. “Do you even realize how insulting you are? I’m not a whore. You can’t pay for me for the evening, Mr. Harrington! You can keep your money. I can pay for my own grandmother’s care. I’m not going to neglect her for the entire evening so that I can spend the night in your bed!”

His hand moved from her hand to her face. He caressed her cheek. “I’m just not handling this well at all, am I?” He looked almost vulnerable. “What I mean is, I really want to spend the night with you in my arms. We don’t have to have sex again. In fact, given the fact that you’re sore, we probably shouldn’t. I don’t want this to end yet. So I’m asking you, please, let me cover your grandmother’s care for the evening. Please stay here with me tonight.”

She sighed heavily. “Carlton, what am I supposed to tell my grandmother? That I’m spending the night with a man?”

“Tell her that you decided to go out with some girl friends. I don’t know. Just stay with me. Please?” He gave her another one of his soul-stirring kisses and she was lost.

It’s only one night, she reasoned. She could allow herself to be loved by him for one night, and then on Monday, she could get transferred to another department and keep the memories of what transpired between them locked away.

When the kiss ended, she had to take two deep breaths just to focus.

“I’ll tell you what,” he began. He appeared unsure that his kiss had changed her mind. “You use the phone on the nightstand there to call and make arrangements for your grandmother and I’ll run you a nice, hot bath. You’re probably a little sore and achy and the warmth of the water should help. Is that okay?”

Sighing, she nodded. She had never lied to her grandmother before, but she wanted to spend the night with Carlton more than she wanted anything in a long time. There was no way Latonya was going to tell her grandmother that she was spending the night with a man. Her God-fearing grandmother would think that she had made some kind of mistake raising her. Latonya could hear her grandmother’s response, Peanut, I’m going to pray to Jesus for your soul. What are you thinking staying with some man all night! No, Gran didn’t need to know this.

Latonya picked up the phone and called home. Sue was more than happy to make three times her pay and told her not to worry about her grandmother. Latonya wanted to talk to her, but she was sleeping already. Sometimes, after a frustrating day of relearning how to do things that she at one time had no problem doing for herself, her grandmother took to bed early.

She hung up the phone just as Carlton came strutting out of the bathroom. He was still very naked, and one look at his chiseled form made her glad she decided to stay. She remembered just how each and every one of those muscles felt against her skin, as he held her and stroked her. She let her eyes drink him in. Starting from the top of his wavy black hair to his feet. She stopped there and admired the way each bone, each muscle, each vein seemed perfectly placed. She never knew she had a thing for feet. As her eyes trailed up his muscular thighs, she blinked and realized that hanging around Carlton would no doubt introduce her to many more of her hidden fetishes. Have. Mercy, she thought when she met his dark, smoldering eyes again and saw his desire.

He smiled and her heart jumped. “Your bubble bath awaits you.”

Why is he being so personable? If she had known that sex would have turned him into a decent human being, she would have put him out of his misery months ago. That would’ve meant that she would have been subjected to his sweet, sweet kisses a long time ago.

Grinning, she walked into the bathroom, took off her shirt and underwear and stepped slowly into the deep bubble bath.

Latonya jumped when Carlton stepped into the tub with her and he had to laugh. The tub was more than big enough to fit the two of them with room to spare. And he was nowhere near ready to be away from her yet.

“I figured I’d join you and help you out,” he offered as he poured some of the body-wash liquid into his hands and began to lather her skin. He took a moment to massage her shoulders.

“Umm…that’s nice.” She leaned back into his arms.

Glad that she had relaxed a little and didn’t seem as antsy as she was when she was trying to leave, Carlton exhaled. He realized that she probably felt conflicted about what happened between them. A woman didn’t wait until she was twenty-four years old to have sex and take it lightly. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel some sort of guilt about what had happened between them. It had been too special to him and he wanted it to be special for her as well.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m feeling okay.”

“Really? Better than you were a few minutes ago when you were trying to make your great escape?”

She turned and glanced up at him. “Ha. Ha. Now you’ve got jokes. Okay. I freaked out for a minute. This is new to me. I’ve never felt…like this before. I’ve never done anything like this. And I sort of lost it for a minute and wanted to run.”

Latonya’s wanting to run from her feelings disturbed him, and he didn’t want to put a finger on why. He only knew that if she had left she would have been taking a part of him with her. As new as it all was, he knew that much for certain.

“This is new to me, too. And I can tell you that it was special. What we shared meant more to me than anything. You don’t have to be freaked out about it or feel guilty about it. It was beautiful, and I don’t want it to be a one-night thing. I want more.”

Carlton waited for some response from Latonya, but all he got in return was her even, steady breathing.

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