Broken Resolutions

‘About the rehearsals this afternoon,’ he started, ‘I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be working quite late tonight—perhaps into the early hours of the morning. If you have a boyfriend I hope he’s the understanding type. If not, we’re all in trouble.’

‘There’s no boyfriend.’

‘Good.’

Caitlin frowned. Rubbing her hands briefly up and down her bare arms, she glanced back into Jake’s arresting blue gaze. The man had the kind of reined-in sexuality and physicality that couldn’t help but put her on her guard. It didn’t help matters that he had a ‘bad boy’ smile that was surely reserved for a woman’s wildest fantasy…if she was in the market for such a fantasy—which she most definitely wasn’t.

Still, the hard honed body outlined by his black T-shirt, jeans and fashionably battered leather jacket would surely be a thing of beauty without clothes. There was not so much as a hint of surplus flesh on that taut, streamlined physique. The man clearly kept himself in good shape. She couldn’t prevent the small shiver of appreciation that ran up her spine. But it wasn’t just the commanding, easy-on-the-eye physique that made Caitlin so intimately aware of him. Something told her that Jake Sorenson didn’t take any prisoners. When he told her that they would be working late tonight she was certain he meant it in the fullest sense of the word.

What if I’ve made a terrible mistake? she fretted. It’s the thing I want to do more than anything else in the world, but what if I’m really not cut out to be a singer in a band?

Her mind slipped into panic mode, as it was apt to do when she was hit by a sudden attack of self-doubt.

He must have read her mind just then. ‘Don’t look so terrified,’ he cautioned, amusement lurking in the steamy blue depths of his mesmerising eyes. ‘I promise not to drive you too hard on your first night. But after that I’m afraid you’ll just have to roll with the punches like everybody else. Anyone who wants to pursue a dream has to make sacrifices, and the music business is a hard game, Caitlin. It’s notoriously competitive and cut-throat, and that’s an almost conservative description. If you want to be a success in this game you have to grow a fairly thick skin. Blue Sky have played all over the country in the past two years, trying to establish themselves, and they’ve gained a loyal following. When their lead singer Marcie walked out it was a huge shock. More than that it was a betrayal. But I owe it to the rest of the band to make good on my promise to take them to the top—and, trust me, I’m going to do exactly that. Failure is just not an option in my book. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

Caitlin did. Signing up for commando training with the SAS would probably be easier. She tried for a smile but couldn’t help the nervous little quiver that hijacked her lips instead. Was the man always so serious, she wondered?

‘I’ll try my best not to let you down…Jake.’ She added his name because she reasoned she should start being less formal, and couldn’t help savouring the taste of it on her tongue—like an enticing new flavour she’d never sampled before.

He scowled.

‘That’s not good enough. Say, I won’t let you down, Jake. Not, I’ll try.’

Flustered, Caitlin pushed a stray strand of hair away from her suddenly burning cheek. ‘I won’t let you down, Jake.’

‘That’s better. Now, come here.’

Before she’d gleaned what he intended he firmly drew her towards himthen gently erased the smudge of dust she’d inadvertently acquired on her nose. Her senses were immediately bombarded by the warm sexy tang of leather mixing provocatively with the alluring masculine scent of the man himself.

If someone could bottle it, they’d make a fortune, Caitlin thought. She felt more than a little off-centre as she stepped away, especially when she saw that he was smiling. A deep, sensual tug registered low in her belly.

‘Thanks. I’m probably covered in dust and looking a right mess, aren’t I?’ she remarked nervously.

The words were out before she could check them. She could have kicked herself, because now Jake would think she was fishing for a compliment—which was absurd when she did honestly believe she must resemble something the cat had dragged in.

But with a charismatic quirk at a corner of his lips Jake elected not to comment. Instead he walked to the door, opened it and gave her a brief salute. ‘I’ll see you tonight. Five-forty-five. Don’t be late.’

As he stepped out onto the pavement Caitlin had a distinct sense of being dismissed. More to the point, she felt bereft, as if he’d somehow taken a part of her with him. The bell jangled as the door swung back on its hinges and she released a long slow breath, as though she’d been holding on to it for nothing less than a lifetime.

* * *

The realisation that she was late, even though she had a perfectly legitimate reason, made Caitlin furious with herself. Parking her car on the gravel drive that led up to the sombre-looking Victorian church hall, she bit back a ripe curse, fumbling to organise her car keys and purse as she shut the car door behind her. To add insult to injury, a light rain had started to fall.

She glanced down at her watch and her anxious gaze once more registered the time. Six-fifteen… She wasn’t just late—she was very late. But how was she to have known that a customer would walk in the door at exactly a minute before five-thirty? She could hardly turn the girl away—especially when she’d tearfully told Caitlin that she’d just broken up with her boyfriend and someone had recommended she get some rose quartz to help her.

Lia had often teased her friend that she was a magnet for the heartsick, but Caitlin’s naturally compassionate nature wouldn’t allow her to stand back and do nothing when someone was hurting. When push came to shove, though, however she explained her tardiness to Jake Sorenson something told her it wasn’t going to cut any ice.

Summoning every scrap of courage she could muster, she pushed open the creaky wooden door that led into the porch, wrinkling her nose at the pall of mustiness and damp that clung to the air, her heart bumping against her ribs at the sound of instruments tuning up.

Behind the door that led into the cavernous hall Jake was testing the microphone in the familiar time-honoured way of performers the world over: ‘One two, one two…’

Murmuring a briefly fervent prayer, Caitlin pushed open the door. The overhead lights were dimmed, she noticed, and the three members of the band on stage continued to play as Rick Young melted out of the shadows to position himself in front of her. Despite his serious expression, at least his hazel eyes were twinkling, she saw.

‘You’re late, pretty lady. Not a good start, just thought I’d warn you.’

He jerked his chin towards Jake as Blue Sky’s enigmatic manager jumped off the stage, his long jeans-clad legs carrying him purposefully towards Caitlin. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he wasn’t happy. Blast!

Her chilled fingers curled over the car keys in her pocket and held them tight. It wasn’t as if she was late deliberately. She honestly wanted to take this amazing opportunity they were offering her. But right now, judging by the fierce scowl on Jake’s handsome face, it might just be about to be taken away from her.

‘I’m sorry I’m late. I just—’

‘What was the last thing I said to you?’ he barked.

Startled, Caitlin glanced across at Rick. His expression conveyed that he’d witnessed similar scenarios too many times before to be at all perturbed.

‘Don’t be late?’ she ventured, her teeth anxiously clamping down on her lip.

‘And didn’t I also tell you to be here at five-forty-five? It’s now twenty past six. You’re thirty-five minutes late. That’s not acceptable, Miss Ryan. It’s not acceptable at all.’

Jake was shifting restlessly from one black-booted foot to the other, a muscle ominously flinching in the side of his lean, unshaven jaw. Caitlin didn’t dare quip that his watch must be fast, even though it clearly was. The fact that he was unshaven made him look edgy and dangerous—as if anything could happen and probably would.

‘A customer came into the shop just as I was getting ready to leave—’ the words came out in a heated rush as she gripped even more tightly onto her car keys.

‘Couldn’t you have turned whoever it was away and told them to come back tomorrow?’ he snapped.

Affronted, Caitlin widened her eyes.

‘I never turn customers away. People don’t just come into our shop to buy things, Mr Sorenson. Many of them come in for healing of one kind or another. The girl that I saw was distraught. She’d just broken up with her long-term boyfriend and was looking for something that might help ease her distress. I’m not so cold-hearted that I would tell her in her hour of need to come back tomorrow.’

Jake was so taken aback by this answer that the red mist of anger that had threatened when Caitlin had walked in late dissipated like ice beneath the sun. Sucking in his cheeks, he blew out a long, slow breath, shaking his head and taking a moment to compose himself. I must be losing my grip, he thought irritably.

Caitlin proffered a hesitant smile. Jake’s bemused glance collided with hers just as one corner of her pretty mouth nudged a very sexy dimple. Something hitched in his heart…not to mention below his navel.

‘Well, we’ve wasted enough time as it is,’ he growled. ‘Take off your coat and get yourself up on stage. We’ve got a hell of a lot to get through tonight and we may well be here until breakfast—so be warned.’

After making her apologies to the other band members, seeing that Jake’s attention had suddenly been claimed by Rick, Caitlin fell into animated conversation with them about music. Did they write all their own songs? Did they ever do any covers? And, finally, did they have a playlist for tonight’s rehearsals that she could look at?

The young men were only too pleased to answer her questions, interspersing their answers with jokes and anecdotes and generally going out of their way to help put her at ease. Mike Casey, the lead guitarist, with his tousled dark hair and rather serious brown eyes, explained that he added the harmonies to several of the songs and he and Caitlin would need to spend some time together working on them. Then he told her that he and the others had rented a house in the village for the duration of their stay and she’d be more than welcome to come over and work on them there.

‘Caitlin?’

She spun round at the sound of her name, folding her arms across the blue chambray man’s shirt that she’d thrown over the too-revealing red T-shirt she’d been wearing earlier. The long shirt-tails skimmed her bottom in her tight jeans and helped her feel a little less vulnerable than she had done in the shop, when Jake’s toe-curling glance had all but consumed her with its frank and hungry intensity.

She was staring into the same hauntingly blue depths now as he looked up at her from the foot of the stage. Her mouth dried. He handed her a sheet of paper with music and lyrics on. Accepting it without comment, she let her gaze fall eagerly on the title. It was another great rock standard that she knew by heart.

The lyrics were passionate and heart-rending, and she’d sung it with genuine feeling when she’d first learned it because she’d empathised with the sentiment of the song only too well. It was about a girl whose dreams had been cruelly shattered when the man she loved had used her and ill-treated her and had consequently robbed her of every bit of self-confidence she had…

But now… Her glance quickly perused the musical arrangement and her heart skipped a nervous beat, because the time had come for her to really prove to both the band and their enigmatic manager that she could deliver what they hoped she could. It was one thing to conquer her fear of an audition—quite another to front a band for the first time ever and do it well. This was where things started to get serious.

‘You know the tune? We can choose something more contemporary if you prefer?’

Jake’s blue eyes honed in on the roomy chambray shirt Caitlin had donned over the sexy red T-shirt and once again he sensed that she wasn’t at all at ease with her body. Why else had she covered up? And how would she cope when she had to perform on stage in front of a crowd he wondered?Would she be self-conscious then?

She was a naturally beautiful woman, and the sensual aura she exuded when she walked into a room was a killer. It was a given that her looks would be a big asset to the band, and he didn’t want her to try and hide that sensational body behind oversized clothing. Still, there was plenty of time for that particular discussion. Right now Caitlin had to prove to them that she was a worthy replacement for Marcie.

‘The song is fine’ she told him. ‘I know it well.’

‘Good. Take it away, guys.’

As the band started to play the introduction Caitlin listened carefully, curving her hands round the microphone stand in readiness and staring towards the back of the hall rather than at Jake. Her body was tense as a sprinter’s at the start of the most important race of her life, but she didn’t need to glance at the lyrics as she waited for her cue to come in. The words were etched on her soul.

There was no need for her to imagine that she was the woman she was singing about because she was. She’d been used, hurt and scorned by a man she’d once loved and trusted, and the devastating experience had taught her to keep her guard up. Adversity had taught her a huge lesson and, hard as it was, it had helped her to grow stronger.

I’ll put steel round my heart that your poison arrows can’t dent

And I’ll be the phoenix rising that you never saw coming…

Those were the lyrics.

Suddenly her eyes flew open and Caitlin’s glance fell on Jake. He was attired from head to toe in black, and his concentrated expression was utterly serious as he watched her performance. Minutes later, when she came to the end of the song, she was glad, because she desperately needed to suck in a steadying breath. Her heart was thumping hard at the painful memories the words had evoked. Yet, meeting Jake’s gaze once again, she didn’t immediately withdraw when it hit her that he had seriously begun to fascinate her.

It was probably just hormones, she thought irritably. She certainly wasn’t looking to take things further than a working relationship. Apart from it being against the rules, she wasn’t looking for a man. Just like in the song, Caitlin had had the relationship from hell with one particular man and it had nearly destroyed her. She certainly wasn’t going to entertain the idea of being with someone who could twist her insides into knots merely by looking at her.

‘Not bad,’ he said grudgingly.

Her fervent hope had been that she’d done much better than just ‘not bad’, and Caitlin’s heart plummeted. Still, Jake was the boss, and she wasn’t there simply in search of praise. Her ambition was to earn her living as a bona fide singer—never to be dependent on anyone either for love, self-esteem or security.

That was why seeing the ad for the auditions had excited her. It really had seemed like a sign that she should step up to the plate and start to fulfil her destiny. Staying at the shop and ‘playing safe’ just didn’t feel like the right option any more. Her family had moved on and so should she. It wasn’t the possibility of fame that interested her…far from it. Her passion was the music itself—the potential to experience joy in doing what she loved to do and to share it with anyone who cared to listen.

So she would bow to the man’s far greater experience in such matters and give her all to improve. She prayed her efforts would be enough.

‘Wow! Honey, you’ll never be poor with a voice like that,’ Rick told her as he went to stand next to his friend.

The contrast between the two men was striking. Rick’s longish tousled hair was tinted a sun-kissed blond, while Jake’s was a dark chestnut-brown, and their physiques were markedly different too. Jake was broad-shouldered and lean, his body supremely fit and toned, while Rick was shorter and more muscular. But, whatever the contrast in appearance, Caitlin sensed the two men were firm friends. There was a definite camaraderie between them that suggested their association had been born out of knowing each other for a very long time.

‘She was fantastic,’ Rick commented, turning towards Jake. ‘I felt every ounce of emotion she put into the song…she made it her own.’

‘That may be true,’ Jake responded, his cool glance deliberately sliding away from Caitlin’s. ‘But it won’t belong to her until she knows it intimately, inside and out. Let’s do it again, guys. Then you can do some of your own material.’

* * *

It was three hours later when Caitlin was finally able to take a breather. Perched on the edge of the stage, with her long slender legs dangling over the side, she was attempting to eat her portion of the Chinese take-away that Rick had ordered. Her throat ached, her head throbbed and she could have fallen asleep standing up.

The band’s charismatic manager hadn’t let up for one minute in his efforts to get the best out of her vocal performance and she felt as if she’d done twelve rounds with a prize fighter. Whilst she was perfectly aware that singing was a very physical occupation, even if a person was blessed with a good voice, nothing could have prepared Caitlin for the sheer effort that Jake demanded.

During the past three hours she’d survived admonition after admonition to, ‘Try again!’ ‘Put your heart into it, woman!’ ‘Hold back a little on that note…drop down a key…’ ‘Damn it, Caitlin! You’re just not trying hard enough!’ Now she could barely summon up the energy to eat, despite the fact that the shrimp chop suey and bamboo shoots with Chinese mushrooms looked and smelled delicious.

‘Not hungry?’

Her tired glance fell on Jake’s long jeans-clad legs as he dropped down beside her. Her heart skipped a beat. Lifting her gaze, she looked up into the hauntingly misty depths of his soulful blue eyes. It struck her as unfair that a man should possess such enviably long black lashes, but then she mused that Jake must have been at the head of the line when God was dishing out extraordinary good looks…not to mention sheer animal magnetism.

Caitlin sucked in a less than steady breath when the scent of his cologne forged another assault on her beleaguered senses. In answer to his question, she responded, ‘I thought I was.’ Shrugging, she put her carton of food aside and touched a paper napkin delicately to her lips. ‘I only had a sandwich at lunchtime…it wasn’t very nice either.’

‘You must have known this wasn’t going to be easy. Still sure you want to go through with it?’ Jake challenged. ‘You need more than just talent in this game, Caitlin. You need equal measures of grit and stamina too.’

‘I can summon up plenty of grit and stamina when I need it. Just try me.’

A flash of defiance lit up her defensive green eyes and Jake chuckled softly. She’d freed her lustrous long hair from its ponytail and now it flowed down her back like shining black silk. Examining it more closely, he detected flashes of mahogany within the darker strands. His fingers were itching to touch it and he closed his hands into fists to stop himself from reaching out to do just that.

‘It’s obviously going to take me a little while to learn all the new songs,’ she breathed, ‘but I’ll take a copy of the music and lyrics home with me and practise them on my guitar.’

Jake had almost forgotten that Caitlin was a guitarist as well. How good he didn’t yet know, but judging by her vocal talent he guessed it wouldn’t be far behind.

‘Good move,’ he commented, ‘but the first thing you’re going to have to do is to hand in your notice at the shop. There’s no way you can have a full-time job there outside of singing with the band. In just three weeks’ time we’ll be on the road and you’ll have to kiss this sleepy little village goodbye.’

The words sounded so final that Caitlin couldn’t help shivering. But she immediately reminded herself that the most amazing opportunity had come her way, and she should take it with open arms and think herself blessed. No one got anywhere in life without taking risks. God knew she should have absorbed that fact by now, with all the New Age reading she’d done since working for Lia.

She’d lived in the village for most of her life, having moved from London with her family when she was just a toddler. When her parents had decided to join her brother Phil and his wife in California three years ago Caitlin had opted to stay put. She wasn’t ready to leave the country, she’d argued. There was still a lot to experience living in the UK.

But most of all she’d stayed because she’d needed time to forge her own identity—the chance to bring her own dreams into fruition, not just tag along on someone else’s. She’d even needed to make colossal mistakes, like her relationship with Sean. None of those things would have been possible surrounded by her well-meaning but highly controlling family.

She swallowed hard.

‘So…does that mean you’re offering me a full-time position with the band?’ she asked.

Her stomach churned as she waited for Jake’s reply.

‘Looks that way doesn’t it?’ He smiled. Then, agile as a cat, he leapt to his feet and crossed the stage to join Rick and the others.

CHAPTER THREE

‘WE’RE ALL GOING BACK to the Pilgrim’s Inn for a few drinks—want to join us?’

Mike Casey stood waiting as Caitlin shrugged into her raincoat. Everyone else was outside. Steve and Keith were loading the van with the equipment and Jake and Rick were deep in discussion. Rick had extended the same invitation to her earlier, and Caitlin had told him she’d think about it. But the very idea of going into that particular pub again, after what had happened between her and Sean on her last visit, made her feel faintly ill.

Sean had been so bad that night—out of his head on a cocktail of drink and drugs—and she’d feared the worst. She had been right to. The cruel words and jibes that he’d taunted her with had just got worse and worse as the evening progressed. The sharpest knife couldn’t have cut her more deeply. Add to that the humiliation of his verbal attack being witnessed by a pub full of people before the landlord threw him out—well, it had been enough to make her want to give the place a wide berth for ever.

Lifting her gaze to Mike’s, she said, ‘It’s kind of you to ask me, but I think I’ll have to say no. It’s already quite late.’

Stealing a quick glance at her watch, she saw that it was ten-thirty-five, and they’d been rehearsing since three o’clock that afternoon. Her throat was parched and her body ached from the sheer effort that Jake had demanded. The man apparently had endless reserves of energy that made Caitlin feel as if she was the slowest runner on the track in comparison. No. She’d much prefer to go home, shower, get into her pyjamas and put her feet up with a glass of wine and a bowl of crisps at her elbow.

‘You call ten-thirty in the evening late? We’re talking Saturday night, here. Don’t tell me the whole village goes to bed early?’ Mike’s dark eyebrows flew up to the tips of his tousled fringe. ‘You must have led a sheltered life, if that’s normal for you.’

At his disbelieving grin, Caitlin conceded a shy smile. ‘You must think I’m pretty boring, right? No way could I ever claim to be a typical rock chick, that’s for sure. But I realise my early nights will have to come to an end when the band goes on the road.’

‘You two ready?’ Rick appeared at the door, his hazel eyes appraising Caitlin and Mike with interest. ‘I have to lock up. Caitlin? Jake would like a word.’