Broken Resolutions

He sucked in some air and breathed it out again slowly. An unexpected need to protect her had crept into his blood and he couldn’t help now and again surveying the other diners in case they looked a little too interested in her. He knew it was crazy when very soon Caitlin would be appearing with the band and from then on would be in the public domain. But in light of his protective feelings and undeniable need to keep her to himself, how was he going to handle it? he wondered. It was a dilemma that had never affected him before…

The manager of the venue—an immaculately dressed Frenchman called Dion, who famously took great pride in entertaining an elite clientele—had expressed delight at seeing Jake. It had been a long time since the two men had met. The last occasion had been just before his ex had written that dreadful exposé about him. After that Jake had retreated to lick his wounds and kept a deliberately low profile. Even so, the Frenchman had recognised Jake straight away.

‘It’s so nice to see you back in public again, Mr Sorenson,’ he’d told him. ‘It’s been too long.’ Then he’d turned to Caitlin and commented, ‘Many beautiful women come to this establishment, but you ma chère…you take my breath away!’

In truth, Jake had almost been readying himself for a small stampede when he’d walked in with Caitlin on his arm. He’d honestly sensed the moment when the other stylishly attired patrons seated at the tables had drawn in a collective awed breath. They might be surprised at seeing him out in public again, but he doubted their interest was solely in him. The woman by his side was the main reason they glanced their way, and Jake would be a liar if he didn’t admit to feeling both pride and pleasure at the realisation. After all, he was only human.

Although the club featured predominantly jazz, and there was a smoky-sounding sax playing in the background, tonight was Burlesque night,—and that was what he’d brought Caitlin to see.

‘This is some place,’ she commented shyly.

‘And you’ve just elevated it to a whole other class,’ he said, and smiled.

Delicately sipping her Margarita, she added, ‘I feel so guilty drinking this when you’re just drinking soda and lime.’

‘There’s no need. I’m quite happy being teetotal tonight. Especially when I have a very precious cargo to drive home,’ he teased.

Jake supposed it was inevitable that the compliment would make her cheeks turn pink, but he loved to see her blush. It reminded him that she was still relatively innocent…quite a rarity in his world.

‘I’ve heard of Burlesque, but I don’t know very much about it. Isn’t it some kind of variety show?’ she enquired.

Even before he told her the answer Jake sensed the muscles in his belly clench hard in anticipation of her reaction.

‘It can be that. But Burlesque is really an art form…it’s about celebrating the beauty of the female form.’

‘Oh…? You mean it involves things like striptease?’

‘It’s much more than women simply taking their clothes off. Sometimes all a girl might remove are her gloves. But it’s the way they do it that makes it an art form. Plus the costumes the girls wear and the way they move is part of the spectacle. I just want you to sit back and enjoy it…to feel proud of being a woman.’

‘Is that why you brought me here? To show me how women can be confident about displaying their bodies when they perform? So I won’t be self-conscious when I perform with the band?’

‘Yes. You’re already going to command the stage with that incredible voice of yours, but I don’t want any doubts about your body to hold you back. I want you to enjoy every second you’re on that stage when you perform.’

To his surprise, Caitlin downed what was left of her cocktail with a flourish, licked her lips and declared, ‘In that case I think I’d like another drink…a little Dutch courage wouldn’t go amiss. Do you mind?’

‘Are you serious?’ Leaning over to her, Jake tenderly stroked the pad of his thumb down over her cheek and said huskily, ‘Baby, do you have any idea how dangerously alluring you are in that dress? If you asked me to get you the moon I’d do my damnedest to get it for you.’

‘Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to go that far,’ she said, and grinned.

His lips twitching in amusement and delight, because Caitlin was clearly starting to enjoy herself, Jake signalled for a waitress to take his order just as the sultry sax in the background came to a sudden halt, the lights dimmed and all eyes turned expectantly towards the stage…

The show was spectacular. Caitlin was swept away by the sumptuous display of dance and movement from the predominantly ‘Rubenesque’ women who took to the stage in their stunning costumes and exaggerated make-up. At no point did she feel remotely embarrassed or self-conscious at all the comely flesh on display. For perhaps the very first time she felt proud to be a woman and unashamed of her own voluptuous curves.

Jake had been right. It had been a good idea to bring her to a Burlesque night. But her companion hadn’t reserved all his attention for the show. More than once throughout the evening she’d caught him looking at her as though mesmerised, despite having a bevy of stunning women on the stage in front of them.

That brooding glance of his had made Caitlin feel more than a little aroused. In fact it had made her long for him to take her somewhere private so that she could demonstrate exactly just how excited he made her feel… And Jake wasn’t the only one who was enjoying the view. Dressed in the flawless single-breasted Armani suit that unbeknownst to her he’d brought with him to change into for their visit to the club, with his incredible blue eyes glinting like diamonds and his chiselled jaw dusted with late-night shadow, he looked expensive and assured, and he exuded the kind of charisma usually attributed to A-list movie stars.

Caitlin wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming that he was solely hers for the evening. Who would have guessed that a man who famously adopted a ‘don’t give a damn’ attitude about what he was wearing could wear a tux with such effortless panache?

Later that night, as Jake turned the Jeep onto the motorway to head home, he wondered wryly if Caitlin had any idea what a test it was for him to concentrate on his driving when she was snuggled in the seat next to him wearing that alluring black dress. The ‘LBD’, as Ronnie had called it, had put him in a state of highly charged sexual tension for the whole evening, and he knew it wasn’t going to dissipate easily.

By the time they’d reached the village and Jake had pulled up outside Caitlin’s flat he was honestly glad of the opportunity to get a breath of fresh air to help him think straight. But first he had to wake her and help her to the door, because she’d fallen asleep as soon as they’d got into the car. It was inevitable she would be a little drowsy.

‘Hey, sleepyhead, we’re home.’

Curling his hand round her slim upper arm, Jake shook her gently. The second she opened her big green eyes the tension that already gripped him mercilessly doubled.

‘Have I been asleep? I must have been, because that journey went in a blink.’

Shaking her head, Caitlin undid her seatbelt and sat up. Her lustrous dark hair spilled down over her shoulders and the air was suddenly provocatively imbued with the sultry scent Jake had bought her. What had he been trying to do? Make her even more irresistible than she was already?

‘Well, we’re home now, and you need to get straight to bed,’ he stated, almost groaning out loud at his ill thought out choice of words—because that was exactly where he’d like to go with her. ‘Give me your key. I’ll open the door for you,’ he added.

The cold night air hit him as soon as he stepped out of the car and proved to be just the tonic he needed to cool his blood. Quickly inserting Caitlin’s key into the lock, he opened the door onto the hallway and waited for her to step over the threshold in front of him. As soon as she did Jake’s blood was stirred all over again when she turned back towards him. She’d draped her jacket over her shoulders and now tugged the sides more closely over her chest, but not before he had a glimpse of her delectable cleavage. For both their sakes he should say goodnight and leave her. His usually dependable sense of control was rapidly deserting him.

But his decision was immediately compromised when Caitlin narrowed the gap between them and said softly, ‘Thanks for a really wonderful evening, Jake, and also for the lovely clothes and everything. You made me feel like a princess, and no one’s ever done that for me before.’

‘It wasn’t difficult, Caitlin. In my eyes you are a princess.’

It was then that Jake thought, To hell with self-control and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her with a hunger he could no longer deny, and the desire that was always just a breath away whenever they were together flared beyond control. But when Caitlin carefully freed her lips and he saw the longing in her eyes—the kind of longing that went way beyond a desire simply to make love—the immensity of what he was contemplating and the possible consequences hit him like a brick dropped from a great height.

With his heart thundering, Jake moved out of their embrace. ‘I think it’s time we said goodnight, don’t you? It’s been a long day for both of us and we’re just a couple of days away from the band’s first live performance. We need to get some rest to make sure we’re fit for what’s to come.’

‘I know you’re right, but—’

Even before Caitlin had finished what she was saying Jake was out through the door and walking towards the car.

* * *

Two days of intense rehearsal followed Caitlin’s magical night out with Jake. And, although she’d had a wonderful time, she couldn’t forget how quickly he’d distanced himself from her after he’d dropped her home—even though just before he’d left, his lips had passionately claimed hers as if he really meant it. Now he was acting as if the kiss had never even happened. It was easy to sense that his focus was back on the band and what lay ahead of them, but Caitlin couldn’t help feeling he was somehow abandoning her.

A couple of evenings later Jake surprised them all by giving them a day off. They’d had two more gruelling days of rehearsal and they more than welcomed the unexpected opportunity for a bit of ‘R&R’. But, although Caitlin appreciated being able to rest and have a day to herself, she started to fret about the upcoming live shows. The new-found confidence she’d experienced after seeing the Burlesque seemed to be rapidly diminishing.

Having the day off hadn’t helped. All it had done was to make her worry even more. That was why she found herself making her way to the Pilgrim’s Inn that night, hopefully to see Jake and express her concerns. Just a few dedicated patrons occupied the cosily lit lounge bar and Caitlin was grateful, because it had taken every ounce of courage she could muster to make this eleventh hour trip to speak with Jake.

As far as Blue Sky’s enigmatic manager was concerned his new lead singer would be having an early night and dreaming about what a resounding success she was going to be when she debuted with the band—because tomorrow was the big day: the day when Blue Sky introduced their new female vocalist to the world…or at least to the audience at the famous rock café in London where they were playing.

But Caitlin wasn’t just apprehensive about what lay ahead, she was plain petrified—so petrified that she was suddenly having some serious doubts.

I’m sorry but I’ve made a terrible mistake. She heard the words go round and round in her head and imagined the confusion and then anger in Jake’s eyes when she said them.

She sighed. She didn’t really want to quit. All she was looking for was a little reassurance. If Jake couldn’t give it to her, after all his years of experience in working with singers and musicians, she didn’t have a prayer.

Tina Stevens was busy polishing the bar, her jaw working overtime as she chewed on some gum, her long red nails clicking against the varnished wood as she ran a duster over the already shiny surface of the counter. The brown eyes that were heavily outlined with kohl gave Caitlin a cool once-over as she approached, but she continued to polish as though her life depended on it.

‘Excuse me, I—’

‘What can I get you, love? Are you on your own or are you meeting somebody?’

There was a distinct note of disapproval in the blonde’s voice, as if she believed that women who came into bars on their own somehow spelt trouble.

For a disconcerting moment Caitlin wondered if Tina had been working that night when Sean had turned particularly nasty. But, unable to remember very much other than the soul-destroying humiliation of being insulted by her boyfriend in public, she opted not to dwell on it. Goodness knew she had enough on her mind without fretting about the past. All she wanted—all she needed—was for Jake to tell her that everything would be all right, that she wasn’t about to suffer another humiliation tomorrow night when she sang.

‘I’m not meeting anybody.’ Pushing her rain-dampened fringe out of her eyes, she squared her shoulders in her long charcoal-coloured raincoat. ‘I wondered if I could have a word with Jake Sorenson? He’s staying here, isn’t he?’

Immediately Tina stopped polishing, and her expression was far from convivial. As the two women faced each other the record that was playing on the juke box suddenly changed and a song that Caitlin remembered from her childhood replaced it. It was her mother’s favourite song.

An avid music fan, Terry Ryan had played the tune to death when Caitlin was little. She would enfold her little daughter in her arms and dance round the room with her, crooning gently against her cheek as she softly sang the words, whilst Phil—Caitlin’s older brother—who was disdainful of anything remotely ‘girly’ would groan in mockery.

‘Typical boy!’ her mother would say, and laugh, instantly forgiving him as though it was his birthright.

Memories… Caitlin suddenly found herself pole-axed by them. Treacherously, her eyes filled with tears. What was wrong with her?

She was missing her family—that was what was wrong. Here she was, on the eve of what could be one of the most important nights of her life, and where were her parents and brother? On the other side of the world! They were completely oblivious to the fact that Caitlin had resigned from her job, never mind joined a rock band as their lead singer!

She had never felt as alone or as afraid as she did right then. She was twenty-six years old, about to embark on the biggest challenge she could imagine, with nothing but her dreams, her wits and her talent to help see her through.

‘You must be Cait…the singer.’

As if it had suddenly dawned on her who Caitlin was, Tina stopped chewing her gum and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The sudden movement jiggled her ample breasts in the red V-necked angora sweater she wore. Well…nearly wore.

‘It’s Caitlin.’ The correction of her name was automatic. She remembered that Rick had been using the shortened version of it since he’d met her, and that he apparently had a real soft spot for the buxom Miss Stevens.

‘Yeah…right. All set for tomorrow, then?’ the other girl asked.

Not really.

‘I hope so. Could I see Jake?’ Caitlin’s lip quivered a little as she made an attempt at a friendly smile.

‘Room Three. Turn left at the top of the stairs.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Nice talking to you.’

Could have fooled me, Caitlin thought.

Making her way up the thickly carpeted staircase, with its faded floral tread, she focused her gaze on the landing at the top, on the ponderous oak sideboard with its gaudy Victorian lamp and the sepia-toned photographs of the village that were displayed on the wall behind it.

The dark old-fashioned surroundings seemed incongruous when she thought of Jake. She wondered why he hadn’t rented a house in the village, like the other band members had. But then it occurred to her that maybe Rick had something to do with his decision to stay at the Pilgrim’s Inn. Perhaps the voluptuous Tina Stevens had an equally arresting friend he wanted to introduce to Jake, for instance?

Disliking that particular train of thought, Caitlin arrived at the top of the stairs and glanced anxiously round her. Two doors faced each other across the landing. Before she could talk herself out of it she rapped briskly on number three. She immediately registered the sound of male voices coming from the room and realised that Jake and Rick must be in conference about the concert tomorrow.

She didn’t know whether to stay put or turn around and leave. But the decision was made for her when the door suddenly opened and Rick appeared. Untypically, when his usual mode of dress was more extrovert, he was wearing a pair of ordinary faded Levi’s and a plain white T-shirt.

He gave Caitlin his trademark roguish smile when he saw that it was her. ‘Hello, gorgeous. Come to join the party?’

His candid gaze moved over her figure in her buttoned-up raincoat—possibly the most unsexy item of clothing she possessed. But Caitlin didn’t give the thought much attention.

‘No. I mean, I just came to see Jake…if I could?’

Her mouth suddenly drying, she stared across the top of Rick’s hard-muscled shoulder and found the man she was looking for. His long-legged form was lounging in an overstuffed green and gold striped armchair and his glance met hers, a knowing smile curving his lips. He looked as if he’d been expecting her visit.

Her feverish thoughts went into overdrive. He’d given them all the day off and advised them to get an early night in preparation for the following day, but he clearly didn’t apply the advice to himself. Did the man ever get an early night in his business? Caitlin somehow doubted it.

‘If I’ve come at a bad time—’ she started, suddenly embarrassed. Had any of his other artists ever sought him out the night before a debut concert to seek his reassurance she wondered? Would her sudden attack of nerves disturb him and make him doubt his decision to hire her as Marcie’s replacement?

He must have intuited that she was on the point of changing her mind about talking to him because he said suddenly, ‘Stay right where you are.’

The words were uttered like a command from on high and Caitlin immediately froze. Rick sighed and moved away as Jake took a couple of leisurely strides towards her. As he drew near she saw that his hard, lean jaw was dark with late-night shadow and his slightly cool stare put her on her guard. That less than friendly glance hardly invited a frank admission about her doubts and feelings concerning the gig tomorrow, she thought anxiously.

‘I thought you might come to see me tonight,’ he drawled.

‘Did you?’ Caitlin heard the strength in her voice desert her.

‘Yes, I did’ He turned round to find Rick. ‘Give us a few minutes, will you? Come to think of it, we’ll probably need a little longer than that. Go and have a drink with Tina.’

Looking doubtful, his colleague shrugged. ‘I’d really like to oblige, Jake, but whether Miss Cold-as-Ice down there will even serve me is another matter. We’ve had a bit of a falling out.’

‘You brought it on yourself, Rick. Sort it out.’

‘Sure. You’re the boss.’

Clearly unhappy, Rick didn’t say another word. But he still found a smile for Caitlin as he passed her. Then he left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. She shivered. She suddenly didn’t feel at all easy about finding herself alone with Jake.

‘Can I get you a drink?’ The charismatic manager strolled across to another ponderous Victorian sideboard and, opening a door, extracted a bottle of Bourbon along with two glasses.

‘No. Not for me, thanks.’

When Caitlin declined his offer without further ado he poured himself a conservative amount of alcohol into a shot glass and advanced slowly towards her. Not for a second did he take his glance off her. His blue eyes glinted dangerously, just like a shaft of sunlight catching the burnished blade of a sword. She couldn’t help tensing. The charming man in the Armani tux who had taken her to the Burlesque had apparently disappeared.

Tipping back his glass, Jake swallowed down the drink before saying, ‘So…care to tell me why you’ve come to see me tonight, Caitlin? It certainly isn’t to make small talk, is it? What’s on your mind? In my experience there’s only one reason a woman comes to a man’s hotel room late at night.’

As if to illustrate what he meant, he flicked his intense gaze over her as if he’d like to strip every stitch from her body and devour her, and then take his slow, sweet time doing it all over again.

Caitlin tried desperately to calm the rioting sensations he was stirring inside her.

‘Well, that’s not the reason I came to see you, Jake…as hard as that might be for your ego to take. My visit is a purely practical one.’

‘Is it?’ His expression doubtful, he put his glass down on a nearby side table and turned back to give her a deliberately lazy smile. ‘You break my heart, Caitlin Ryan…but I think you know that, don’t you?’

‘What do you mean?’

Her mind was in a complete spin, and if she hadn’t backed herself up against the door just then there was a distinct danger that she might simply have crumpled to the floor. Her legs were trembling so hard they hardly seemed to have the strength to keep her upright.

‘What you do to me with those slow, hot looks of yours is nothing less than criminal.’

His voice a low, grating rasp, Jake yanked her away from the door and pulled her roughly into his arms.

CHAPTER SEVEN

CRIMINAL… CAITLIN COULD HAVE used the same adjective to describe Jake’s kiss. The way he took her mouth was near savage, and it almost knocked her off of her feet. This was no inept fumbling, no tentative exploration, but a devastating passionate assault on the senses.

With a hungry groan that seemed to emanate from the depths of his soul, he swept his tongue over the warm recesses of her surprised mouth as one firm hand possessively anchored itself in the long thick strands of her hair to render the contact between them even more intimate.

As his tongue thrust deeper, harder, mimicking the ultimate sexual coupling between a man and a woman, Caitlin swallowed her breath, tasting him, her senses intoxicated by the dark sultry flavours of bourbon and avaricious heat. She gripped onto the sensuous silk of his shirt with all the strength and tenacity of someone hanging from a precipice by their fingertips…as if she dangled into empty space and could fall at any moment.

But from the instant Jake had captured her mouth there had been no thought to deny him. Not when everything in her clamoured wildly for more of the same. Only a frigid woman could not want what Jake was giving her right now, and Caitlin was anything but that. She was a living, breathing, loving human being, and it was too long since she’d been held and desired—too long since she’d been loved like a woman longed to be loved by a man.

Oh God…how did I survive without this? she thought.

All she knew was that her legs suddenly didn’t have a hope of holding her up for very much longer. Not when the equivalent of a hundred volts of pure unadulterated pleasure was pulsating through her as though she were plugged in to her own personal ecstasy machine.

Almost mindlessly driving her hips against Jake’s, she heard herself moaning urgent little sounds of want and need—sounds that were as alien to her as this wild, savage joy that was pouring through her veins. Sean had never taken her anywhere near close to the kind of heights Jake was taking her to now. Never before had passion come at her like a wild, untamed river, bursting its banks, sweeping everything that stood in its way to exciting unchartered shores that left her dazed and trembling.