Broken Resolutions
* * *
‘Hey, that was good. Where did you learn to play guitar like that?’
Mike Casey sat cross-legged on the living room floor, barefooted and tousled-haired, his guitar resting easily against his thighs. His brown eyes regarded Caitlin in admiration. She’d just given him a personal rendition of a well-known singer’s most iconic track, with all its attendant complicated chord changes and a few innovative ones of her own. He wondered if Jake or Rick had heard her play yet, because Caitlin didn’t just play a ‘little’, as she’d modestly confessed at her audition. The woman knew her way round a guitar as if the instrument were a natural extension of her own graceful hands.
Setting down her guitar to take a sip from the soft drink Mike had given her, she answered, ‘I had lessons when I was younger. I pestered my mum for them until she got sick of me asking and conceded. She really wanted me to learn the piano, so I made a compromise and agreed to learn that too.’ She grinned. ‘After a while I stopped having the lessons and basically taught myself.’
She shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal about her ability. Her reasons for learning to play both instruments had always been purely self-motivated. The plain truth of the matter was that her music and her books had kept her sane whenever life had threatened to get a little less dependable and reliable—like when her parents had announced they were leaving the country to join her brother Phil in America.
Phil was the ‘blue-eyed boy’ who, in their eyes, could do no wrong. An old familiar twinge of resentment surfaced but Caitlin quickly squashed it. At the time her sense of abandonment had been acute and music had been her only solace—an anchor in a world where nothing had made sense any more. She’d often wondered if that was why she had hooked up with someone like Sean. He’d entered her life when she’d been feeling especially low and he’d charmed her with his boyish smile, amusing jokes and the sense that he was a bit of rebel. She, poor fool, had lapped up his attention as though she’d been marooned on a desert island for years without seeing a single soul.
Mike was thoughtful. There was a real buzz of excitement in the pit of his belly when he thought about Caitlin and what she could potentially bring to the table for the band. Not only had they found themselves an amazing singer, but he’d discovered another musician he could harmonise with as well. There was no doubt in his mind that they could be a great team. The girl was worth her weight in gold.
‘What you did just now was more than “good”, Caitlin. You really know how to play.’
‘Thanks.’ Her smile was shy, but appreciative. After last night’s humiliating little encounter with Jake as they were watching the band she definitely welcomed a boost to her morale this morning.
God, she’d made such a fool of herself. Her heart thudded and slowed at the memory. It had been a bad mistake to let him see how much she wanted him. Not that she’d had much choice in the matter, when her body had seemed to have an agenda all of its own…
But then afterwards, when he had dropped her home to her flat after a near silent car journey filled with the most electrifying tension, Jake had confused her yet again when he’d insisted on accompanying her to her door and waiting until she’d got safely inside. There had been no sign of his earlier rejection at the concert.
The man was a genuine enigma and no mistake. Yet Caitlin understood why he had to put the band first. He wouldn’t jeopardise Blue Sky’s chances by having a meaningless fling with their new lead singer. Not that any association with Jake, however brief, could ever be meaningless…
‘Have you had the chance to learn the two new songs I gave you?’ Mike asked, his glance flicking interestedly over the pretty white gypsy-style blouse she was wearing with faded blue jeans.
‘After I got home from the gig I was up most of last night working on them,’ Caitlin told him, suppressing a yawn. She carefully withdrew a folded sheet of paper from her jeans pocket. ‘Do you want to give them a try?’
‘Sure. That would be great.’ Picking up his guitar again, Mike started to tune it.
The unexpected sound of a ring on the doorbell interrupted him and he broke off to spring nimbly to his feet. During his absence Caitlin took the opportunity to lean back against the edge of the pink velour couch behind her, stretch out her legs and idly finger her guitar strings. As much as she wanted and needed to learn the songs, it had probably not been the most sensible thing to do to stay up long into the early hours trying to master them. What she wouldn’t give for a long lie-down…
Her eyes drifting closed, she was just wondering how on earth she was going to get through the rest of the day when the sense that she had company alerted her. She looked up to find Jake staring down at her. He had a disconcerting glint in his eye that made Caitlin shiver helplessly, and she hastily sat up to drape her arm protectively across her guitar. What had she done wrong now?
‘Hi.’ It wasn’t easy to sound casual when all she could think about was what had happened between them at the gig. But straight away Jake was all business.
‘You’re giving rehearsals a miss this afternoon. We’re going out,’ he declared.
Dazedly, she answered, ‘We are?’
Mike had come back into the room behind him and her gaze swung from his to Mike’s and back again.
‘Not Mike,’ Jake qualified firmly. ‘Just you and me. I’m taking you shopping.’
‘But I don’t want to go shopping.’ Caitlin didn’t even pause to wonder what for. All she knew was that she was in no fit condition to trudge round some overheated shopping mall—with or without Jake.
‘This has got to be a first. A woman who doesn’t like shopping? Where have you been all my life?’ Mike joked.
But Jake didn’t look remotely amused. His handsome countenance was as implacable as usual. In his black leather coat and blue jeans, his square jaw fashionably unshaven, he looked as if he was in no mood to entertain an argument, no matter how convincing or passionate. Caitlin tensed.
‘Get your coat,’ he ordered.
‘But Mike and I were just—’
‘I’m not interested. I just want you to get your coat and be quick about it. I don’t want this to take any longer than it has to.’
He had a nerve! It was at Jake’s suggestion the previous night that Caitlin had come round to Mike’s to get some guitar practice in.
‘You can’t just walk in here and tell me what to do.’ She defiantly stayed where she was, even though her heart was beating like a jackhammer. Blue Sky’s lead guitarist was staring down at his feet as if they were suddenly the most interesting sight in the world. No moral support there, she thought irritably.
‘I thought I’d just done exactly that.’ Lifting a mocking eyebrow, Jake was unimpressed. ‘Now, if you want to continue to be a member of this band, I’d seriously consider doing what you’re told and being quick about it. We’re driving to London, and at this rate we won’t get there before one o’clock. That hardly gives us enough time.’
‘Enough time for what?’
Clearly mad at him, Caitlin finally got to her feet, gripping her precious guitar by its neck as if it was Jake’s neck she’d like to throttle. Her pretty face was flushed with emotion, her bewitching emerald eyes spitting fire, and in that instant Jake experienced a longing for her so deep that it hurt.
He knew he was only being short-tempered because he was furious with himself for wanting her so badly. Tough. Life could be unfair like that. If there had been the remotest possibility that they could find another singer even half as good as Caitlin, then he would seriously have considered letting her go. The band and Rick would undoubtedly give him hell but, damn it, if it was a choice between confronting their rage and losing his sanity then he knew which one he’d plump for.
The sheets on his bed had been a crumpled mess when he’d woken this morning. If he’d slept two hours he’d be surprised. It had been a hell of a long time since any woman had got Jake in such a stew—not since Jodie, and that had been six years ago. But even at the height of his attraction to Jodie it had never been like this. This mindless, helpless, heated longing that he felt for Caitlin was driving him slowly crazy.
If she had been any other woman but Blue Sky’s new lead singer he wouldn’t have hesitated in succumbing to his carnal desires. But Caitlin Ryan was strictly off-limits. Hadn’t he said so to himself when he’d first heard her sing?
‘Jake?’ When he didn’t immediately reply, but levelled his compelling blue gaze straight at her in warning, Caitlin had to suppress the worrying impulse to leave, to put herself out of the line of fire. Why was he so furious with her? What had she done to make him so disagreeable?
‘You need some clothes,’ he explained grudgingly. ‘Working clothes. The band plays its first date in London next week and we need to kit you out. I’ve arranged to meet a stylist I’ve worked with for years…someone I trust who will help guide you. Her name is Ronnie. Rick has had to drive up north on business, so today’s a good opportunity to sort things out. Now, go and get your coat…please.’
Driving a weary hand through his tousled mane, Jake looked as if his patience was being sorely tested. In the meantime, Caitlin’s mind was racing. He was taking her to buy clothes? That would mean she’d have to parade herself in front of him, not to mention this stylist, whilst getting hot and bothered, trying on garments in cramped changing rooms and no doubt feeling woefully inadequate when something didn’t look right or didn’t fit.
Was it really necessary that he go with her? And did she really need a professional stylist to help her choose the right clothes? Couldn’t Jake simply trust her own judgement as far as dressing herself went?
One look into that arrogant male visage and she had her answer. She could stand there and argue until they got old and Jake would still insist on going with her.
‘I hate and detest shopping,’ she said, before turning on her heel and grabbing her coat off the back of the pink velour armchair. ‘And if you think for one second that I’m pouring myself into some horrible skin-tight catsuit for the sake of this band then you’ve got another think coming!’
And with that she shouldered angrily past Jake out into the hallway—but not before suffering the added indignity of hearing the two men she’d left behind chuckling between them in some ancient patronising ritual of amused male bonding.
CHAPTER SIX
JAKE COULDN’T REMEMBER the last time he’d had so much fun. Nor could he remember his inflamed libido being put under such torturous conditions in an even longer time. An obliging assistant—a skinny little redhead, with pansy-blue eyes and freckles—had thoughtfully supplied him with a comfy chair while Ronnie, the dependable stylist, selected several items of clothing from the rails and at regular intervals handed them to Caitlin to try on.
As she disappeared in and out of the changing room, trying on various different outfits, her expression veered alternately from plain put upon to seriously contemplating doing him some damage. The funny thing was, even when she was scowling at him, Caitlin was prettier and sexier than any other woman he could think of. So, although their little shopping trip had a serious purpose, it was also providing Jake with some royal entertainment.
‘You didn’t tell me this would be one of the easiest assignments you’ve ever given me, Jake. This girl is an absolute dream to dress!’ The fashionable and gamine stylist curved her scarlet-painted lips with pleasure as she dropped down beside Jake. ‘I mean, I’ve dressed some of the best female recording artists in the world, and all I can tell you is if she sings as good as she looks…’
‘She does,’ he assured her laconically. Then, with a sigh, he added, ‘Whether you’re a record producer or the manager of a band, singers like Caitlin come along once in a lifetime…if you’re lucky.’
‘Then one thing’s for sure, my friend,’ Ronnie said, knowingly patting his knee. ‘The rest of the music industry will be quaking in their boots—because without a doubt this amazing find of yours is definitely going to put you back in the game…with bells on!’
And on that note, as if on cue, with an impatient swish of the changing room curtain Caitlin suddenly appeared before them wearing red faux leather jeans cut low on the hip and a sheer white chiffon blouse that had a lacy frill edging the cuffs. And, because the diaphanous blouse revealed so much more than it concealed, Jake was treated to the captivating sight of her luscious breasts crammed into a flimsy white lace bra that appeared barely equipped to contain them. He also saw that she had a deeply sexy belly button that put him in mind of a harem and long, hot desert nights…
With her arms akimbo, she glanced first at Ronnie, then at him, and her bewitching green eyes clearly proclaimed her disdain.
‘I hope you’re both satisfied. In my opinion, I look utterly ridiculous in this outfit.’ Flicking back her shining dark hair in a huff, Caitlin flushed, her apple cheeks growing even pinker.
When Ronnie would have gone across to reassure her, Jake immediately rose to his feet to take charge.
‘Let me,’ he told her meaningfully, lowering his voice.
He made his way over to his new protégée.
‘Believe me, you look anything but ridiculous.’
A heated injection of pure carnal pleasure pulsed through him as he came face to face with Caitlin’s arrestingly beautiful gaze. His blood had been simmering since she had got into the car with him outside Mike’s place and, as entertaining and necessary as it was, this little fashion parade wasn’t helping.
Everything about the woman was driving him wild…her scent, her beautiful emerald eyes, that gorgeous long black hair of hers, and even the endearing little habit she had of chewing down on her lower lip when she was feeling overwhelmed or anxious. As for her figure… Ever since he had seen it he’d been thanking God he was born a man. It was a shame they were in one of his stylist’s favourite fashion houses or he might have demonstrated his appreciation a little more graphically.
‘Well, I’m not going on stage looking like this. I haven’t become a singer for people to ogle me. If you like the outfit so much, why don’t you wear it and be done with it!’
Caitlin stepped towards Jake as if she’d like to wipe the smile right off his face with a slap. Towering over her, he immediately closed the gap between them and made himself slowly breathe out.
‘Calm down. You’re getting all hot and bothered for nothing.’
Hot and bothered didn’t begin to describe how Jake was feeling. God knew he was making a supreme effort to corral his aroused feelings, but it was damn near impossible with Caitlin huffing and pink-cheeked in front of him, her luscious breasts rising and falling with every breath that she took.
‘Ronnie and I just wanted you to try a few different looks. It doesn’t mean you have to go with anything that doesn’t feel right. Ultimately it’s your decision.’
Jake’s reassurance effectively took the wind out of Caitlin’s sails. She hadn’t meant to be deliberately obstructive, but appearing in revealing clothing in front of anyone, let alone Jake, wasn’t something that came remotely easy to her. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that she was so insecure about her body, but she was. She’d often been teased as a child for being ‘chubby’, and even though she knew rationally that she was in good shape now she guessed that the hurt of being picked on and singled out because of her appearance had never quite left her.
But maybe this was her chance to overcome her insecurities and act differently for once. In any case, the least she could do was have a sense of humour about the proceedings. The fact was, she was a singer in a rock band and people would expect her to look the part…even to look sexy.
Cringing at the thought, she suddenly found herself unable to meet Jake’s glance directly. He was so arresting, from the top of his tousled dark hair and the haunting chiselled perfection of his face to the tips of his feet in his stylish worn leather boots. In his long leather coat, with tight jeans and a midnight-blue shirt opened casually at the neck, he wore his clothes as if he didn’t give a damn…which made it all the more challenging for Caitlin, knowing she regularly had to face him.
‘I don’t like wearing this kind of revealing clothing. I’m just not comfortable dressing to show off my body,’ she admitted quietly. And because she was feeling vulnerable, every cell vibrating with the tension of being so intimately scrutinised, she folded her arms across her chest, only too aware that Jake’s heated blue gaze kept dipping helplessly to that area.
‘Why?’ Nonplussed, he shook his head. ‘Tell me what’s going on in your head that makes you feel embarrassed about revealing such a God-given asset? Because that’s what it is, Caitlin.’
His glance momentarily flicked towards the elegant and manicured Ronnie, who sat waiting patiently for him to finish before coming over to join them and give her opinion.
‘It’s not easy to explain,’ Caitlin answered.
Jake turned back to her to give her his full attention. Taking up where he’d left off, he remarked, ‘You’re beautiful, Caitlin. If I gave you a bin liner to wear you’d still look stunning. Why don’t you just enjoy being young, having the freedom to dress a little outrageously?’
‘It’s all right for a man to come out with that, isn’t it?’ Furiously twining her hair behind her ear, Caitlin glared. ‘Women don’t leave men just because they get older. Even nowadays, when you’d think we would have got a little bit more enlightened, older men are labelled “interesting” or “experienced” while the complete reverse is applied to women.’
An amused smile twitched at the corners of Jake’s lips.
Caitlin paused. Maybe she was overreacting. After all, surely he had a point—she should take advantage of being young and free and go wild. Still, his sentiment had struck a nerve. Was Jake the kind of man who would leave a woman just because she was getting older or had put on weight? The music industry was hardly known for nurturing healthy relationships, was it? Not when everything seemed to be dominated by image these days.
The pop charts were littered with pretty young things with average talent and attractive bodies who had their five minutes of fame and then disappeared. But, as far as relationships went, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t fantasise about one day finding a man who wanted to stay with her come what may. It was just a shame that Jake Sorenson clearly wasn’t and never could be that man. He might be attracted to her because he admired the ‘packaging’, but that was all it was: a passing meaningless attraction that would no doubt blow itself out as soon as he’d taken her to bed…if she let him.
The thought made her heart slam against her ribs.
‘Don’t paint all us men with the same brush.’ Reaching out his hand, Jake gently loosed the glossy strand of hair that Caitlin had tucked behind her ear and watched it glance against her cheek as it fell silkily down to her shoulder. ‘I sincerely hope I’m not as shallow as you seem to think I am. When you get past the physical attraction, I’m quite aware there’s got to be something deeper and more compelling to keep both parties in a relationship interested. If I found a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I’d never let her go…no matter what happened.’
Jake’s arresting blue eyes were regarding her so intently that Caitlin felt the imprint of his gaze resonate deep inside her. Along with the heartfelt words he’d expressed, his intensely examining glance shook and unravelled her. It made her body burn and her heart race. It stirred a longing in her for things that she knew could never be.
‘This is the last outfit Ronnie gave me to try on. I think I’ll go and get changed now. I suddenly feel quite cold.’
Despite the intimacy that Jake had woven round them, the harsh cold reality of the situation suddenly doused the heat that had all but drowned her just a moment ago. Caitlin was beginning to care too much for Jake and that was dangerous.
Turning away, she rubbed briskly at the chilled flesh on her arms in the diaphanous blouse, and was taken aback when he moved swiftly behind her and turned her firmly back round to face him.
‘That first outfit you tried on…the purple velvet top and the long black skirt with the chain belt? That looked great. Shall we go with that for starters?’
A muscle flexed in the side of his lean jaw. The outfit he’d described was one of her favourites, too. It seemed that they agreed on something after all.
‘Okay.’
‘And, by the way, we’re not going straight home after this. We’re going back to Ronnie’s place for a while, then I’m taking you to a club. We’ll eat dinner there and enjoy some entertainment.’
He was taking her to a club? What was that all about?
‘Why didn’t you mention this before? What kind of club?’
Jake’s expression remained as inscrutable as ever, yet he definitely had a twinkle in his eye. Caitlin frowned. What on earth was the man up to?
‘I wanted it to be a surprise,’ he drawled. ‘Hopefully an enjoyable one.’
‘I’ve hardly got the right clothes with me to go out for the evening…especially to a club. Can’t we leave it for another night?’
Ignoring her hopeful plea, he clenched his jaw and firmly shook his head.
‘Sorry, but you’re not going to wriggle out of this one. Trust me. Tonight will be just what you need. As for not having the right clothes—why don’t you pick out one of the outfits you were looking at to wear? You can get ready at Ronnie’s.’
‘Those outfits are ludicrously expensive, Jake! I can’t afford—’
‘I’m footing the bill. You can have anything you like—and I mean anything. Think of it as a gift.’
More than a little overwhelmed by his unexpected generosity, she was almost lost for words. ‘Well…I mean, that’s very kind of you, but just what kind of place is this club you’re taking me to?’
He smiled one of his maddening sexy smiles that could stop a woman in her tracks in less than a heartbeat and said, ‘It’s classy…very classy. That’s all you need to know.’
‘Let me help you to choose something. Jake has told me where you’ll be going and I know the perfect outfit. We’ll also need to accessorise you with shoes and jewellery to complete the look.’
The fragrant Ronnie was suddenly at her side and, whilst Caitlin had plenty of reservations about being kitted out for an evening out with Jake somewhere ‘classy’, she sensed that any more attempts at wriggling out of the night’s events would be a waste of energy.
* * *
In the sumptuous mirrored enclave of the exclusive members-only jazz club, frequented not just by aficionados but by many well-known celebrities from the worlds of music and film, Jake sat opposite Caitlin at a beautifully laid dining table and thanked the gods for giving him a legitimate excuse simply to sit and gaze at her.
Ronnie had helped select the perfect outfit for her tonight. The powers of the ‘little black dress’ should never be underestimated, she’d told him knowledgeably, and she’d been right. The slinky little number she’d come up with had taken his breath away when he’d seen Caitlin wearing it. It had a daringly low-cut neckline that immediately drew the eye to her sensational cleavage, and the fitted black satin clung to her body in all the right places. The voluptuous curves that she contrived to keep hidden from the world were tonight displayed in all their glory.
Add to that some sexy red lipstick and the sultry, alluring perfume that Jake had chosen especially for her—he’d slipped out to purchase it as Caitlin had got dressed—and he doubted there was a single male in the vicinity who would ever forget seeing her.