Broken Resolutions
Drawing in a deep breath for courage, she asked the question she’d been longing to hear the answer to since talking to Lia.
‘My friend Lia—the manager of the shop where I worked—she told me that she once read in the papers that you’d been married.’
As Caitlin had expected, Jake’s guard slammed down like a portcullis. ‘Then why ask if I’ve had any relationships that haven’t worked out? It must be obvious that my marriage didn’t, if your friend read about it.’
He let loose an irritated sigh, but Caitlin detected weariness in the sound, as if he was well and truly sick of the subject.
‘Presumably she also told you that my wife left me and then sold a sordid little tale to the press?’
She flushed, feeling uncomfortably guilty. ‘Yes…she did.’
‘Then that should tell you it was hardly a match made in heaven. My ex was a manipulative little liar…what else do you want to know?’
‘Please don’t be so defensive. I was hoping you might tell me your side of the story. I never read any details myself. To be honest, I didn’t even recognise you when we first met. I don’t often read the newspapers, and neither do I use social media very much. I honestly won’t breathe a word of this conversation to anyone…not even to my friend.’
‘I take it I have your word on that?’ Jake’s blue eyes were momentarily fierce.
With her heart thudding, Caitlin nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘Her name was Jodie and she was a model who wanted to become a pop singer. I had no idea of her ambition at the time. Anyway, we met at a party and had a few dates. She was pretty and engaging enough to capture my attention, and on a weekend break to Rome I foolishly asked her to marry me.’
He shook his head in mocking disbelief.
‘Practically as soon as we were married she started to put pressure on me to help her get a record deal…all the while telling me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was madly in love with me, of course. You’d think I would have known better.’
He gave a harsh self-deprecating laugh before continuing.
‘She couldn’t sing, and when she realised I wasn’t going to help further her career she started an affair with Mel Justice—the lead guitarist of the bestselling rock band on the planet. I was travelling in South America on business when she moved in with him and on my return she told me she was filing for divorce. Then, when the case came to court, she cited mental cruelty because I’d allegedly promised to help make her a star and I hadn’t…’
The way Jake shook his head told Caitlin everything she needed to know about how he’d felt about that.
‘In the story she portrayed me as some kind of Svengali who’d preyed on her naïvety and led her astray. If it hadn’t been so painful and hadn’t ruined my reputation it would have been funny. Anyway, with the help of a high-profile American lawyer, courtesy of her new boyfriend, she got her divorce and was awarded a ridiculous sum of money from me for so-called damages. Then she married her lover and became Mrs Justice.’
Jake’s telling of the painful events was succinct and to the point. But to have had his reputation sullied by Jodie’s lies and for her to have sold her story to the newspapers because she hadn’t got what she wanted out of him must have seriously shattered his belief in relationships. Sighing, Caitlin tucked some drifting strands of hair behind her ear.
Relieved to have done with his story, Jake moved across to the sofa to join her. Breathing out on a sigh, he gently touched his knuckles to the side of her cheek. As soon as he’d done it he knew he was lost.
Even though he’d kissed her, touching Caitlin was still a revelation. Her skin had the texture of the purest silk. An erotic image of her lying naked in his bed, her slender limbs tangled in black satin sheets, her eyes dark with desire and her skin flushed pink with arousal, slipped easily into his mind to taunt him even more. He wanted to touch her everywhere. He wouldn’t rush. He’d take his time and savour every inch of her beautiful body, every flavour. Was she uninhibitedly vocal? Or would she whimper gently when he brought her to climax?
‘Anyway, I think I’ve said enough. Thanks for telling me about Sean. I hope it hasn’t upset you too much?’ It didn’t surprise him when his voice sounded less than steady.
‘It hasn’t. I’m fine.’ Caitlin willed herself to move, to put herself out of reach of his seductive touch and wrest her gaze from the haunting blue eyes that made her feel so restless and hungry.
She burned for him. Could Jake see that? Could he tell? If she was going to make her dream come true she couldn’t afford to let him know just how much she desired him. Becoming intimately involved with Jake Sorenson would be a disaster personally and professionally. Somehow she had to play it cool…for both their sakes. They were both recovering from seriously hurtful relationships and, if nothing else, they should exercise some common sense.
‘I’m just very tired.’ Faking a yawn, Caitlin surprised herself by following it up with a genuine one.
Jake immediately got to his feet. Planting his hands either side of his straight lean hips, he nodded. ‘I almost forgot how late it was.’
He should be glad of the excuse to leave. He didn’t dare risk staying for much longer because being with Caitlin was putting an impossible strain on him to stick to his vow to leave well alone.
‘I know we haven’t discussed the situation we’ve got but that will have to wait. At the end of the day, the band is the first priority. I’ll see you tomorrow at rehearsals. Three o’clock, usual place.’
‘I’ll be there.’ Caitlin pushed to her feet.
‘Good. I’ll see myself out. Don’t come down.’
Following him onto the landing, Caitlin felt every muscle in her body tense as she stared at his back, at the soft leather jacket that accommodated his broad shoulders to perfection, at his long, hard-muscled legs and taut, lean behind. A wave of heat rolled over her and almost made her lose her balance. She’d never ogled a man in her life before, but there was something about Jake Sorenson that made her behave out of character…something wild and untamed.
She’d stared down into a yawning abyss of darkness many times during those two hellish years with Sean, and had lost count of the times she’d prayed for her life to be ‘normal’. But, in truth, she’d always known that she could never be content with a conventional nine-to-five existence. She needed more than that…much more. That was why she’d shown up for the audition with Blue Sky. That was why she was willing to kiss goodbye to the sleepy little village that had been her home and that was why she wanted to take her chances with Jake and the others…
‘Jake?’
Coming to a standstill at the bottom of the stairs, he glanced up at her. As she stared back into his fathomless blue eyes Caitlin mused that it was like falling into the sky.
‘Thanks for dropping by and for…for our little chat.’
‘No problem.’
Conveying that he was in a hurry, Jake abruptly opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE BLAST OF A car horn sounding right outside her front door made Caitlin jump. In the throes of getting ready for her evening out, she glanced at the clock on the mantel and saw that it was later than she’d thought.
Softly cursing, she yanked her hairbrush roughly through her sable hair, then quickly painted her lips with the new plum shade of lipstick she’d bought. Her hand was a little unsteady as she applied it and, to make matters even worse, she decided that the colour was a little too dramatic for her liking. But she was just going to have to grin and bear it. She was already feeling tense at the distinct possibility of being chastised yet again for lateness. That would make it the third time this week and it might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as Jake was concerned.
Hurriedly snatching her leather jacket off the couch and pulling it on, she grabbed her purse, shoved it into a pocket and flew down the steep, narrow staircase as if the hounds of hell themselves were after her. Her breath hitched as she hurried towards the ominous-looking black Jeep, its engine running.
Jake leaned across and pushed open the passenger door. ‘Hi,’ he greeted her.
His expression didn’t give much away, and it couldn’t help but increase the overall sense of trepidation that Caitlin was feeling. They were going to see a band tonight and would be spending a large amount of time together…alone. She didn’t doubt the experience was going to be a real test for them both.
‘Hi.’ There were three seats in the front of the vehicle and she automatically sat next to the window and slammed the door shut.
‘I want you next to me.’
‘What?’
The slow burning heat from Jake’s gaze almost scorched Caitlin where she sat. He didn’t embellish the comment. He didn’t have to. They both knew only too well why he wanted her to sit closer to him. Could day resist following night? She’d have loved to have had a handy reason with which to refuse him, but her mind was worryingly bereft of anything helpful as his arresting blue eyes entrapped hers.
With thumping heart she murmured, ‘Feeling lonely, are we?’ Then, before he could reply, she somehow found herself sitting in the luxuriously upholstered leather seat next to his.
His lips lifted in a grin.
‘Not any more.’
‘Well, I’m glad that I’ve made you happy.’ Her dark hair brushed against her reddened cheekbone as she bent to buckle her seatbelt. ‘For once.’
Chuckling, Jake put the car into gear and steered it smoothly away from the kerb. It should have reassured her that he seemed to be in a particularly good mood tonight, but it didn’t make things any easier. Not when she was already gripped by the familiar disturbing waves of disorientation and desire that seemed to be inevitable whenever they were together. And all day that combustible kiss they’d shared when he’d walked her home from the pub had played over and over in her mind.
Their attraction for each other had been growing stronger and stronger. It only needed the tiniest spark to turn it into a conflagration. It was made even more acute now, by the intimate space they shared in the car.
Caitlin couldn’t help stealing a covetous glance at Jake as he drove. True to form, he was clothed in his habitual black, with no apparent concessions to dressing up for their night out—although he didn’t need to wear fancy clothes to draw a woman’s eye. Not when he exuded charisma simply by breathing. Add to that, he had the intriguing persona of a man who’d been around musicians for most of his life and had seen it all…group bust-ups, wrecked hotel rooms, drink, drugs, groupies and corrupt management…and had lived to tell the tale. Jake had been there, done that, and worn the T-shirt.
Sighing, Caitlin smoothed her hand down over her jeans and couldn’t help wondering what people would see in her when she finally took to the stage to sing. Would they quickly categorise her as just another starstruck wannabe? A wide-eyed innocent without much experience of anything at all? If they did, then they couldn’t be more wrong. How could they know the narrow escape she’d had from the kind of destructive relationship that most mothers of daughters had nightmares about? Consequently, she was far from ignorant about the pitfalls that awaited girls who were too trusting, who kidded themselves that they could ‘fix’ a partner’s problems simply by loving them enough. Caitlin had found to her cost that that was one of the biggest lies believed by women.
Jake must have sensed her shudder and he turned his head in surprise. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, I’m fine.’
Obviously deciding not to pander to any sense of insecurity she might be feeling, he drawled, ‘I trust your clothes aren’t going to turn into rags if I don’t get you home by midnight?’
He was, of course, referring to her habit of turning in early if she could. Caitlin’s cheeks seared pink with embarrassment. Early nights free from anxiety had been denied her in the days when she’d waited up for Sean, praying he hadn’t got himself into more trouble. If she’d had a pound for every prayer she’d uttered in those two harsh, unhappy years she’d be a rich woman.
When he hadn’t come home when expected Caitlin had hoped the police hadn’t got him in a cell somewhere, or that some drug dealer he owed money to hadn’t beaten him up, or worse. When he’d lied to her yet again, let her down or stolen money from her, she’d prayed hard for the strength to cope—still foolishly believing that she could somehow rescue him from the dark road he’d been intent on travelling down. But when he’d started to bully her, threaten her and finally hit her, she’d dug deep for the strength to end the relationship before it ended her.
The bottom line was she wasn’t about to apologise to Jake for something that had been an important part of her emotional recovery, no matter how much he scorned her early nights.
‘There’s about as much likelihood of that as you turning into Prince Charming any time soon,’ she muttered.
To her astonishment, she actually detected a smile on Jake’s lips. It was only slight, and a less sensitive person might have missed it, but she was so intimately attuned to the man’s every unconscious gesture and nuance she couldn’t help but be aware of it. It did funny things to her insides that ‘almost’ smile of his, not to mention other sensitive areas of her body…
Pursing her lips, she stared determinedly ahead of her as a sudden fierce shower of rain sheeted the windscreen’s glass, temporarily obliterating the view until Jake switched on the wipers.
‘And there was I, hoping we’d get a clear night with a romantic moon and starlight,’ he quipped.
‘Is that really what you were hoping for?’
Lifting a shoulder, he smiled again, this time more freely. ‘Why? You don’t think I have it in me to be romantic?’
The remark immediately threw her.
‘How would I know? I don’t know you well enough.’
‘Then it’s clearly time for me to do something about that, don’t you think?’
He didn’t turn his head to look at her. The provocative words were simply left hanging in the air between them, like a small but lethal incendiary device.
Urgently feeling the need to change the conversation to something far less dangerous, Caitlin asked, ‘So, who’s the band we’re going to see tonight? You didn’t tell me.’
‘They’re called Ace of Hearts. The lead singer is Nikki Drake and I’d really like you to see her. She isn’t what you might call the best singer in the world, but what she lacks in vocal range she more than makes up for in her performance. It’s electrifying. She lives and breathes the band and it shows.’
‘And you’re hoping that I might pick up a few tips?’
The rain ceased as suddenly as it had started, and as the wipers squeaked redundantly across the screen Jake’s brief azure glance at Caitlin was like a heat-seeking missile that went straight to her womb.
‘Sure,’ he answered.
Jake was amazed that he’d even got the word out. Whenever he caught sight of Caitlin’s bewitching face—whether by design or by accident—he was all but struck dumb. Ever since he’d kissed her he’d been filled with an insatiable desire to know her intimately. As far as he was concerned, not having to share her company with anyone else tonight was like being given the keys to heaven.
For a man that prided himself on always being in control of situations, his feelings for this woman were unravelling him. If he didn’t act soon to counteract the danger then the walls he’d built around his heart, brick by brick, would come crashing down and render him helpless. Whilst he would do everything in his power not to let that happen, there was no reason why he shouldn’t take Caitlin to bed to help get her out of his system…was there?
‘Do you know her well? Nikki Drake, I mean?’ she probed.
Hearing the curiosity in her voice, Jake smiled. He smiled because he detected the unspoken question that she really wanted to ask, which was How well do you know her? Although he’d never been remotely attracted to Nikki, he couldn’t help but experience a certain male satisfaction at the idea that Caitlin might be a little jealous.
‘I know her well enough. But then, I know a lot of people in my business,’ he drawled.
Not for the first time Caitlin realised that Jake was a man of few words. But, whatever he said, there was always a wealth of meaning behind it that often required some serious detective work. Then again, perhaps she should just go with the flow and not worry too much about what he meant. Jake was Jake: enigmatic, taciturn, not giving an inch. She’d better get used to it if she was going to make a half decent job of working with him.
But what she wouldn’t give for him to one day speak about her in the same admiring way that he spoke about Nikki Drake… She was feeling ridiculously jealous of the woman when she hadn’t even seen her or heard her sing yet.
‘Then I can’t wait to see her,’ she remarked, hoping that the amiable smile she gave would convince him that she meant it.
* * *
There wasn’t a single gaze in the room that wasn’t trained on the sexy strutting singer onstage. A small shapely blonde, her blue eyes heavily outlined with thick black liner, her generous mouth painted with bold red lipstick, Nikki Drake held the mike as if she owned it and commanded the small raised stage with every sexy thrust of her hips, every husky note that she sang.
Her slender body was encased in tight black satin and a wide scarlet belt was cinched tightly round her impossibly tiny waist. Her creamy breasts were clearly enhanced by the loving support of a daring uplift bra Sex on legs, as her friend Lia might say.
The performance was riveting. While the music throbbed around them Caitlin experienced an adrenaline rush like nothing she’d ever experienced before at a live concert. Was this how Jake wanted her to look? Commanding, sexy, wearing tight, hard-to-breathe-in clothing specifically designed to highlight every curve, every undulation? Unashamedly putting everything she had on show?
Her throat was dry from the combined heat of wall-to-wall people crammed into a space not much bigger than a living room. Taking a hasty sip of her rum and Coke, with the ice in the glass already melted to slivers, Caitlin almost jumped out of her skin when Jake moved up behind her. Her senses reeled with shock when his lean, hard body was all of a sudden on intimate terms with her back, his denim-clad thighs carelessly brushing the backs of hers as his warm, bourbon-laced breath drifted tantalisingly over her hair. Caitlin went rigid.
‘What do you think?’ he asked, and the husky timbre of his voice did seriously X-rated things to her body, draining her limbs of all their strength in the process.
‘About—about what?’ She could barely squeeze the words past her throat.
‘About Nikki and the band of course. What did you think I meant?’
Jake’s amused smile was almost tangible. She didn’t need to see it to know that he was taking great pleasure in teasing her. She was suddenly grateful for the dim lighting and the intimate proximity of the other bodies around her, because she didn’t want him to see that her face was burning.
‘She’s very good. They’re all very talented. I’m really enjoying the music,’ she told him.
‘Without a doubt you’re a better singer,’ Jake responded. ‘All we have to do now is find the right image for you.’
‘As long as you don’t expect me to pour myself into tight black satin. I’ll definitely draw the line at that.’
To bolster her flagging courage, Caitlin tipped up her glass and drained the entire contents of the drink that remained. Her head swam a little as the alcohol hit home, but it was as nothing compared to the dizziness she was already experiencing with Jake getting closer by the second.
‘I think we should go for something more classy. Sexy…but classy.’
His hand drifted over her hip to settle on her waist, his fingers deliberately sliding across the thin silk of the white camisole she wore beneath her jacket. Caitlin almost stopped breathing.
When she lifted her hand, ostensibly to move his away, his fingers caught hers and trapped them possessively. The words she’d started to form were suddenly obliterated as she closed her mouth, shut her eyes and sensed Jake press even closer. A tremulous shudder went through her as he brushed her hair aside and planted a devastatingly erotic kiss on the sensitive juncture between her shoulder and neck.
The unexpected caress went straight to her core and almost made her whimper with pleasure. It was as though he had branded her. Beneath the flimsy fabric of her strapless bra her nipples turned rigid and achy and her legs turned seriously weak. Thank God for the music and the crowd, because if they’d been alone right then Caitlin was certain her defences against such a passionate assault on her senses would have been zero.
Desperately needing to regain her composure, she straightened and turned round to face Jake. But the message his compelling blue eyes were conveying drove every coherent thought in her head straight out again.
‘Don’t. Please don’t.’
Even as she softly uttered the words she thought they didn’t make sense. She made no sense. Half plea, half whisper, they were carried away by the hypnotic beat of the music, by the laughter of the couple standing next to them, a young man with his arms firmly round his pretty Titian-haired girlfriend as they swayed together to the music.
‘Please don’t what?’ Jake caught her hand and unhesitatingly drew her in tight to his chest.
Such eyes he had, Caitlin thought feverishly…piercing blue-grey, like mist swirling over a storm-ravaged sea…
Holding Caitlin against him was the most exquisite pleasure bordering on pain that Jake had ever experienced. Her soft yet slender curves fitted his embrace as though she’d been made for just that purpose.
The sound of the throbbing music, the approving cheers of the audience, the chink of glasses from the bar and the soporific scent of incense that hung over them like a heady cloud—they all faded away, leaving Jake with nothing but his overwhelming need for the woman in front of him.
His desire to make Caitlin his own in the most primal way a man and a woman could consummate their lust was testing him to the very limit. Already he was hurtling close to the edge of that self-imposed control. He knew he shouldn’t want her so much. Professionally, it had disaster written all over it, and personally he wasn’t ready to trust a woman. After what Jodie had done trust didn’t come easily. Both those reasons should make him stay well clear.
With a supreme test of will, Jake slid his hands up to Caitlin’s shoulders, where he briefly let them linger. Then he gently but firmly moved her away. Her eyes instantly registered surprise and confusion and Jake cursed himself for torturing them both.
‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he murmured.
Caitlin bit her lip and inclined her head in a brief nod. Then she turned back to watch the band, crossing her arms over her chest as if to protect herself. Her beautiful hair cascaded down her back like the most luxurious black silk and Jake ached with every fibre of his being to reach out and touch it. He had been captivated by women before, but not like this—never like this.
What he needed right now was another drink. He’d have to be careful not to exceed the limit, because he was driving, and even another drink would be no consolation for his present sexual frustration. Sensibly, he decided against it. Instead, he stayed put to watch the band and decide which elements of the performance he could point out to Caitlin that might help her when the time came for her to make her debut with Blue Sky.